Today, we wish many happy tidings of joy to the esteemed Daily Prophet editor, Narcissa Malfoy. Malfoy has been a journalist for a number of years: it's hard to pinpoint exactly how long, as her age is an eternal question. There appear to be a number of official documents which would usually delineate a normal birthdate but when one's family notices that their progeny has a particular penchant for iciness and decide to use the baby's chilly nature to encase it in ice of its own making, well, age becomes unknowable. Is she in her 40s? 50s? 100s? It's hard to be quite sure.
The one thing that we can be sure of is that Mrs Malfoy is, today, wielding her power with the same kind of frozen glee she does everything. Perhaps, on such a joyful occasion, she'll get her hands a little dirtier tonight — some light bloodplay at Mansion de Malfoy, even? A few compliments from her husband, who counts her as second among his most precious rulers? Maybe tonight Mrs Malfoy will even get the first kiss after her husband gets through the door instead of that pesky lifesize cut out of his precious Dark Lord.
Many happy returns, Narcissa Malfoy. Enjoy stifling the press and serving those who endorse the torture of children even younger than your son.