Since the introduction of the Muggleborn Registration Act the systematic persecution of those with Muggle heritage has been made law. Prospective Muggleborn Hogwarts students were targeted and attacked, known Muggleborn members of wizarding Britain given erroneous charges and sent to Azkaban and in other cases stripped of their wands and rendered homeless on the streets. Known simply as “Wandless” these people have been quickly neglected by the people surrounding them. Attempts at raising funds for aiding the Wandless have been diverted into causes such as people who are allegedly “inconvenienced” by the presence of Wandless in Diagon Alley. Other charitable causes are also being neglected in favour of organisations such as the “Society of the Preservation of Magical Heritage (SPMH)” which promote the idea of superiority of magical blood.
These actions have created a crisis for the people who are most in need of our support, and when The Beacon went to investigate the conditions these Wandless are living in on the street we were shocked to discover malnourishment, sickness and worse.
Pressuring the Muggleborn Registration Committee is part of the work that needs to be done to get these awful measures lifted and the people brought to safety. Returning their wands and giving them help to get back into everyday life seems like a lofty goal, but it is certainly ours. Supporting our Muggleborn comrades is only the first step. On an everyday level we can donate food, clothing and supplies to the Wandless and show that this injustice will not be stood for.
The Beacon hopes to profile some valued members of society that have Muggle blood in future issues, with the aim of demonstrating exactly how little a divide there should be in our society.
PERILOUS CONDITIONS AT HOGWARTS IGNITE RESISTANCE
By Robert Post
As some of our readers may remember, the disbanded publication, The Quibbler, published an article in December of this year documenting changes rolled out by the new Death Eater leadership at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Professors Amycus and Alecto Carrow have all but declared martial law on their students, embracing corporal punishment not only on those students who disobey them, but on those who do not perform well in their classes. Their brutal tactics are not reserved for older students, but are enacted without care among students of all years, robbing children of innocence from ages eleven to eighteen.
Students no longer learn Defense Against the Dark Arts. They now learn how to cast Entrail Expelling Curses on mice and brew the Draught of Despair, as previously reported in The Quibbler. Muggle Studies no longer contextualises muggle life and history for those students unexposed to our counterparts’ unique and vibrant culture. Instead, muggles are regularly paraded in front of students and demonised for their lack of magic. Students are taught to dehumanise the same people who have given us the designs for our mobile phones, the winternet, and the greatest works of art and poetry mankind has ever known. Sure, they’ve also given us reality television, McDonald’s, and the monarchy, but should their value be universally discounted due to the stupidity of a few? By that standard, we should discount all of wizardkind for bringing something as stupid as Witch Weekly into existence.
Children of purists are naturally privileged in such an environment, including Draco Malfoy, notorious among his peers and uncaring in the face of his classmates’ suffering. The Dark Arts, of course, come naturally to the son of Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy, and propaganda peddler, Narcissa Malfoy. Malfoy and his peers are granted free reign over other students and encouraged to fight classmates’ whose views do not align with the purist agenda.
In particular, Neville Longbottom, whose parents were tortured beyond recovery during the First Wizarding War, have been targeted for his beliefs. Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood, daughter of The Quibbler’s Xenophilius Lovegood, have also been singled out among their peers and sentenced to overnight detentions in the Forbidden Forest. Luna Lovegood has since been kidnapped by Death Eaters along with her father, both of whose whereabouts are currently unknown.
But not all students’ punishments include the risk of death. Standard detentions now include the use of quills designed by Dolores Umbridge, which carve the substance students’ humiliating lines into the backs of their hands. For students who refuse to participate, Professors Carrow employ even more extreme tactics, using the Imperius Curse to force them into acquiescence.
Though life at Hogwarts has become more violent and turbulent under Headmaster Severus Snape’s leadership, a group of students called Dumbledore’s Army, named after the student group actively learning Defense Against the Dark Arts during Umbridge’s incompetent tenure at the school, has decided to openly defy the Death Eaters’ regime. Members of the anonymous group have repeatedly used graffiti to spread messages of hope and resistance within and upon the walls of Hogwarts, as well as publishing an independent newsletter with honest reporting of the events taking place within and without the castle.
This newsletter aims to carry the students’ torch and resist the dishonest and violent narrative of the Death Eater and every facet of their populist regime. Our children are relying on us to keep the wizarding world intact for them. We’ve failed so far, but it’s never too late to resist.
TRUST YOUR DEATH EATER BOSS
By Marguerite Higgins
You absolutely can trust your Death Eater boss and here’s why.
Your Death Eater (or Death Eater adjacent) boss has your best interests at heart. Sure, they may have committed a crime or five hundred or possibly even been in jail (looking at you, Lestrange). Maybe they haven’t been in jail but they should have been, for crimes against humanity and also fashion (hey, Yaxley). The last one is much less important, but no one should be sentenced without a complete list of everything they’ve ever done wrong being exposed.
The beauty and joy of public records is that many of these current Death Eaters bosses have a long and illustrious career and we can know all about it. Ignatius Travers may be very close to the Minister these days, presenting himself as almost mild-mannered, but his manners were certainly far from mild when he tortured and killed the entire McKinnon family. But, by golly, his smile is so handsome. You can probably trust him.
Sports has long been a tradition which brings people together, fostering immediate friendships across the country. These are bright, sometimes short-lived friendships, which exist for as long as people publicly consume sports such as Quidditch, rooting for the same team, letting other people's infectious joy, appreciation and love of the sport sweep through them. There’s something beautiful and uniquely human about it, the instinct to form such connections, which are rooted in truth no matter how fleeting they are. Lucius Malfoy is well known for his love of both Quidditch and the fleeting truth — he swears it’s true one minute and the next takes it back. You can trust him to always have your back. He just loves the project you worked on together!
Perhaps, the only thing more infectious than the shared joy that comes from sports would be laughter. None of the Death Eater bosses are particularly comedians but, by golly, those Lestranges love to laugh. Their laughter has a certain timbre to it, like piercing needles, or an entire symphony playing out of tune. Rabastan Lestrange, head Oblivaitor, is notable for never wanting to mess around with people's heads and always being extremely fair to muggles. Bellatrix Lestrange, unemployed, once did a fingerpainting with the blood from one of her most high profile murders. She enjoys feeling close to those around her. Rodolphus Lestrange engages in intercourse with horses. He loves animals. All of them would love to get to know you better.
A cult of personality is a tedious thing, which is why your Death Eater boss may eschew having any whatsoever, like politician Hugo Nott. Nott was beaten in local elections by the much more charismatic Gawain Robards, however polling demonstrated a rock with a face painted on it could have achieved more votes. His trustworthiness, however, surely rests in the fact he claimed imperius. You can trust a man who lied to avoid jail time.
One of the most oft-cited reasons for trusting those in positions of power who absolutely deserve to be there is, of course, their commitment to family. Noted painter, for reasons known to people with no eyes, Gerald Avery is a man with huge ties to his family. He loves them very much. He loves them enough to ensure that they, too, are brought up bigoted and violent, following in dear daddy’s footsteps. Why call a kid Dante if you don’t want them to descend into different circles of hell? What could possibly inspire more faith than this devotion to family?
A leap of faith is often required when ordinary people contact specialists to ward their homes and properties. They turn to those with established reputations for being warm, friendly and extremely good at their job, like Evelyn Mulciber. Again, a woman with a charming family (only one confirmed Death Eater!), Evelyn Mulciber’s trustworthiness was made extremely apparent when she tried to do the whole world such a favour and rid them of the horrible tea-drinker, plaid-wearer Remus Lupin. The world does proliferate with too much plaid. It was a kindness. What an inspiration.
Last but certainly not least, inspirational words come from many of our Death Eater bosses, but none more so than from the desk of Narcissa Malfoy, editor in chief at the Daily Prophet. Narcissa Malfoy is a true environmentalist: her smile is cold enough to combat climate change and for that, we salute her. It’s important to commit yourself physically to your moral ideals. A woman of great prestige, Narcissa Malfoy would never lead anyone astray or report facts that haven’t already been twisted five times before they reach your morning paper. Gosh, you can’t let the masses know the real news. She’s safeguarding the minds of our nation.
So there you have it: a detailed rundown of why you definitely can trust your Death Eater bosses.
MINISTRY SURVEILLANCE STATE RUN AMOK
By Robert Post
The Ministry for Magic has made it almost impossible to live without one of their government-issued IDs, but is our information and the data we generate on a daily basis safe? Should we be worried about our home addresses or current whereabouts falling into the wrong hand? Are they using this system to track us and our purchases in real time, all the time?
The answer to all of the above is an unequivocal yes. Despite assurances from the Muggleborn Registration Committee that ID information is carefully and heavily guarded from hacking or tampering, the truth remains that we cannot entrust our safety to a government run by Death Eaters, whose ill-will can leave us vulnerable at any given time, to any given punishment.
Given the average person’s lack of security against Death Eaters, the ongoing need for medical treatment only attainable at St Mungo’s for those in possession of an ID, and the government’s ever-growing micromanagement of society at large, we should all be actively cautious and conscious of the data being supplied to the Ministry. Whether you’re buying lizard’s tongues from an apothecary in Diagon Alley, obtaining a dragon pox vaccination at St Mungo’s, booking a holiday at the Gentle Green in Wales, or picking up a box of chocolates for our valentines at Honeydukes in Hogsmeade, the government is actively gathering information about our habits and movement.
It can and will be used against us at any given time. Stay alert, stay wary, and use your IDs only when absolutely necessary.
IN MEMORIUM
By Evadne Price
On 21st January 2018 the sad death of Morgan Robards was reported. Robards, 80, was best known for his successful career at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement as a Hitwizard. In later life he spent time as a private duelling instructor, Robards was mainly known by his friends for his loves of gardening, bird-watching and spending time at his local bridge club.
Beloved by his colleagues and neighbours alike, Robards was brutally murdered by the Death Eaters in an unprovoked attack. He is survived by his son, Gawain Robards, the well-respected Auror and Wizengamot representative. His wife remains unaccounted for after the attack. The Beacon would like to express anger and dismay that the perpetrators of this attack have not been held accountable for their actions.
On 24th January 2018 the body of Andrew Smudgley, 34, was recovered from his residence in London. A journalist for the Daily Prophet, “Andy” was well-known for his early love of Muggle “pop” music and was working as a political correspondent. He is survived by his parents, Isaac and Matilda and his sister Zara.
Contrary to reports in the media, the death of defenceless Phillipa Dearborn on 29th January 2018 was yet another attack by Death Eaters upon innocent citizens. The widow of Caradoc Dearborn was with her two sons at the time the Lestrange brothers attacked the Dearborn family. Phillipa Dearborn was an architect involved in designing some of the most impressive vaults at Gringotts bank. She was known for her artistic flair, her great love of Christmas and champion poker skills. She is survived by her sons, Owen and Jeremy, grandson Kevin and daughter-in-law Zefiryn.