WHO: Remus Lupin and Alicia Spinnet WHAT: Alicia asks Remus for a favor WHEN: After the Order meeting on January 8 WHERE: An Order safehouse WARNINGS: Nightmare talk
When the meeting was over and the group had begun thinning, Alicia hung back. She’d spent days mulling it over privately and she’d decided she couldn’t keep herself in the dark any longer — she needed to see her parents. They could obliviate her again after she’d seen for herself they were safe. But with the dreams that had plagued her for weeks, every one with her parents dead or dying in some new, grotesque fashion, she needed proof that none of them had come true.
When she approached Remus, she began by clearing her throat. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
Remus turned from the modest little spread placed for the Order (had a one-off memory to a day thirteen years ago in which he’d declared himself a Buddhist and a vegetarian, until Sirius had shoved a sausage in his mouth during a meeting) and smiled at Alicia. She seemed tentative. Far less the vivacious young lady and all the more as though something were weighing her down significantly. It could be said for them all, too.
“Of course. Hello, Alicia.”
“Hi, professor,” she said with a smile and the hint of a laugh as she remembered her manners. Her parents would’ve scolded her for that, and she remembered even their scolding fondly these days. “This might sound — well, stupid — but I’ve been having nightmares. About my parents. Not even dreamless sleep seems to help.”
Get to the point, Alicia.
“I want to see them.” Needed to see them. “My parents.”
“Alicia.” Remus took a breath, turning to face Alicia square on. “Remember we talked about you indicating that you’d ask me this question? And I would under no circumstances tell you yes? Because it’s our lives at stake? I can get them to write to you,” he suggested, hoping that mild panacea would cure her bad dreams.
“Tell me more about the nightmares.”
“Well.” Alicia bit her lip and dropped her eyes to floor. “Sometimes they’re dead. Sometimes they’re inferi. Sometimes I see them getting the dementor’s kiss. And in others, they’re being attacked by Death Eaters and I can’t save them.” She drew in a deep, wavering breath. “I feel like if I could just see them, maybe it’d stop.”
Remus sympathized. Too many times in the course of the night, he’d woken up drenched in sweat to turn and remind himself that the reality in his dreams - or in his waking anxieties - were not come to pass. Tonks lay quietly by him, peaceful. And Alicia needed to ground herself in that same sort of reality. Finally, he nodded.
“Yes, all right. If you think it would help. We’ll move them after.”
“Really?” Alicia let out a sigh of relief and the corners of her mouth even twitched upward with the hint of a smile. With the possibility of seeing them finally within reach, she felt the vice in her chest loosen.
“But maybe it would be better to obliviate me after,” she said. “If they’ve made themselves at home.”
“That, I could do.” Remus’ memory charms - while not Ministry-worthy - were good, indeed. And wiping Alicia’s memory would keep her parents safe as they were now. “Let’s think of ways we can get you there quietly. Don’t tell anyone else, all right? Not even Angelina.”
“I won’t,” she promised, wringing her hands in front of her to keep from vibrating in place. When her excitement finally got the better of her, she stepped closer and threw her arms around him. Squeezing her eyes shut, she breathed out, “Thank you, professor.”
A small laugh escaped Remus as he took her embrace and returned it, holding her tightly for a moment before he pulled back and met her gaze.
“Our family - and our friends - they’re the best remedy we have against You Know Who’s fear and terror. It makes me glad that I can help you stay hopeful, and help you keep your parents safe too.” He smiled. “You’re going to be all right.”
His smile finally drew her own out of hiding. “I will be now,” she said. She hoped.