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Tweak says, "Evil Chin-Rat!"

Sonozaki Renju [園崎蓮珠] (lotus_beyond) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-12-22 21:05:00

Entry tags:

Who: Renju, Keiichi
What: A visit.
Where: Renju's dorm.
When: The afternoon after Renju's dungeon.
Why: Ironic echoes.

Once again, a dim light shone from the crack under the door to Renju's dorm. Once again, there was near-silence from the other side.

Once again, Renju had a visitor that she was unlikely to be willing to acknowledge.

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	keiito 2009-12-23 02:07 am UTC (link)
	Once again, Keiichi Ito stood before Renju's door with a tray of cookies. This time, though, he'd made oatmeal raisin. Balancing the tray in one hand, he carefully knocked on the door, a loud "rap rap rap," and waiting for the answer. Considering Sonozaki's journal didn't seem to be back up yet, he was more than slightly concerned. (Reply to this) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2009-12-23 02:11 am UTC (link)

This time, unlike the last, the door opened readily. Like the last time, however, Renju's eyes were barely visible beneath her bangs. They were damp this time, though, and one could almost see the red around them through the limply dangling hair.

"W-what do you want?" Her voice was unsteady, far from the Shadow's cold impatience. She remembered the last time. She wished she didn't.

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keiito
2009-12-23 02:15 am UTC (link)

Had she been...crying?

Whatever the case, Keiichi had one motion: forward, and one speed: full and straight ahead. "I brought you cookies," he explained, calmly. As he entered the room, he spotted one of the boxes that had a new addition: his last tray of cookies. "Those are probably stale by now, anyway."

Extending out his new tray to her, he nodded. "Oatmeal raisin. They're good, try one. Please?"

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-23 02:23 am UTC (link)

Backing off rather than shutting the door in his face as she had previously, Renju glanced from the cookies to Keiichi and back. She wasn't quite sure what to make of this sudden intrusion, but what was wrong with her was something cookies couldn't solve, she was reasonably certain.

"I don't need..." She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head sharply, turning her back on Keiichi. "You should leave. Don't waste your time."

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	keiito 2009-12-23 02:28 am UTC (link)
	"It's not wasting my time," he insisted, sighing softly before placing the tray of cookies down on the floor. "I was worried. You still haven't gotten your journal back up and running, so I decided I'd see if I could find you here." He took a step forward, and rather than ruffling her hair, placed a hand on her shoulder. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2009-12-23 02:39 am UTC (link)

Renju flinched and shrugged off the hand, something she hadn't even quite had the presence of mind to do when Kiriko had done it earlier, after...

After she'd nearly killed herself and them to prevent this from happening. Really, that was what it had been, and there was no sense in calling it anything else.

Her shoulders shook for just a moment before she forced it down, her body taut as a wire. "I don't think you understood what it was trying to say," she finally responded, her voice hoarse and quiet.

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keiito
2009-12-23 02:44 am UTC (link)

His hand recoiled, and he looked sad for a moment, before his expression returned to its neutral one.

"No, I did understand what it said," he insisted, nodding at her. "The whole point is that anything a shadow says is an exaggerated version of the truth. That's how it's been so far, that's how it is here."

Though, there WAS something weighing in the back of his mind. The other shadows had been very explicit as to what they were. Renju's had not.

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-23 03:13 am UTC (link)

Another sharp shake of her head showed just what Renju thought of this idea. She hugged herself tightly, an involuntary shiver coursing through her at the thought of that place that her mind had conjured. It had been unpleasantly wintry down in that void, with only her Shadow for company, but she hadn't felt the real cold until after.

"It was right," she insisted quietly. "You all just refuse to see it."

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keiito
2009-12-23 03:16 am UTC (link)

"It being totally right would defy everything we've learned so far." Logic was a great thing when you could make it work for you. "Besides, there comes a point where if all of your friends believe something, it's probably right. I'm a really stubborn person, and even I have to agree with that."

Reaching down into the tray, he came up with one of his cookies, and took a bite of it. Delicious.

"And when it comes right down to it, I don't think it was right," Keiichi insisted, equally firmly. "You were in Cooking Club for a few months. I'd like to think we got to know each other pretty well in that time."

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-23 03:23 am UTC (link)

The response at first was an odd little noise somewhere between a snort, a cough, and a short, sharp laugh. "No. I didn't let any of you know me because there was no 'me' to know. Even Sagaki-sempai. Especially Sagaki-sempai."

Her grip on her sleeves tightened, her knuckles, already pale, turning whiter. "That's what I'm trying to say. It's not a matter of emotions. 'Sonozaki Renju' was never anything but what her family projected onto her, and I'm what's left now that they're gone."

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keiito
2009-12-23 03:35 am UTC (link)

Keiichi listened to what she had to say. Really, it did sort of seem to confirm her point. He hadn't even known her family was gone.

And yet, he had an answer ready.

"Well, then," he said, quietly, "this is the time when you figure out what you are, if you don't know. That's what life's all about, Sonozaki-san. Figuring out what we like, what we don't like, who we are. That's what we do every day."

His hand went back to her shoulder, clutching there more firmly. "And we'll always be here to help you as best we can."

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-23 03:46 am UTC (link)

The attempt to shrug away the hand was weaker this time, and ultimately unsuccessful. She was trembling slightly, almost imperceptibly, faced again, directly, with the issue she'd been running and hiding from for the past several months--no, years, since she'd had some inkling even before then. Though she was still turned away from Keiichi, she'd regained that lost, scared, vulnerable look she'd had when they'd found her the previous day.

Her mouth worked for a moment, her throat trying to force out the words. "I..." She swallowed, trying to force down the lump in her throat. "I can't. I can't. I don't know..." She reached up to brush fiercely at the corner of her eye. "I don't know how. I don't even know if I want to. They were all I had."

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keiito
2009-12-23 03:51 am UTC (link)

Keiichi's reaction was immediate, to pull her into an embrace. It was...sort of a comical one, really, considering his height and her lack thereof, but it was caring and affectionate nonetheless.

"I can't imagine what it's like to lose a parent," he murmured, softly, the words almost whispered into her ear. "But I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't want you to dwell on this. Miss them, of course. Wish they were here, absolutely. But you were their daughter. The person they cared about more than anyone. Would they want you to just...stop trying because they're gone?"

Keiichi squeezed her softly, before finishing. "Or would they want you to be the best person that you could be?"

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-23 04:34 am UTC (link)

Even much later, looking back on that moment, Renju was never quite sure whether that had been just the right thing or just the wrong thing to say. The embrace she'd feebly tried to escape, protesting, she now fell limply into, trying with all her might and utterly failing to suppress a sob. Her mind was flying in a million directions at once: Keiichi, Tom, the team, that place, her parents--whose deaths she was sure she'd gotten over, or perhaps that there had been nothing to get over.

Obon was soon...

She tried to speak, but words finally seemed to fail her. There were too many, and too few she was willing to say, even to herself, let alone to Keiichi.

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keiito
2009-12-23 04:45 am UTC (link)

As she fell into his arms, one of Keiichi's hands rubbed her back, firmly but soothingly. "Shh," he murmured. "It's okay..."

He didn't know what to say to her beyond that. He had some experience comforting people, but this was slightly over his head. Still, he wouldn't be Keiichi if he didn't do his best.

"Take all the time you need," he continued. "I'll be here for you. No matter what."

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-23 11:42 pm UTC (link)

Renju had just managed to rein herself in after that one sob. She was unused to dealing with her own feelings, let alone doing it with someone else there. This was... she'd be lying if she said it wasn't a pleasant feeling, especially since even her aunt had kept a careful distance when they'd stayed together, and her parents had never been all that affectionate with her. She couldn't remember the last time someone had just held her like this.

But at the same time, it wasn't quite comfortable. She, Keiichi, and the rest of the team had gone through a lot together, but she didn't consider him that close--not enough, certainly, to rely on him as a confidante any more than she already had in the heat of the moment. She needed space. "Ito-san..." She pushed back a bit--not hard (though they were equally strong in Paradise, outside of it, a decent tennis arm didn't compare to an athlete's strength, lean though Keiichi was), but enough to show that she wanted out. "I'm sorry, but I need some time."

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keiito
2009-12-24 12:11 am UTC (link)

Keiichi was stubborn, but he could also (sometimes) tell when enough was enough. The fact that she was pushing back against him seemed to indicate that clearly enough.

The arms wrapped around her loosened, and he took a half step back. "Alright. You can have all the time you need." He paused, and continued, firmly. "Provided you don't stay in your room like this all the time. You deserve to have some fun, you know."

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-24 02:50 pm UTC (link)

"Whether I deserve it isn't the..." The frustration drained out of Renju's voice, and she trailed off into a sigh. "I'll be out." And she would be--her Shadow had stayed in here, a thought she didn't like because it was far too close to how she was even before then. Was the only difference between them the fact that her Shadow had at least acknowledged the reasons behind its behavior?

... well, no. She wouldn't have thrown people into Paradise, either. Still, those were just details.

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	keiito 2009-12-25 12:58 am UTC (link)
	"Alright. Cooking Club's open for you too, you know. I'd love to have you back if you ever decide to return." Nodding, Keiichi returned to his ever-important tray, and picked up a single cookie. He extended it to her, and proceeded to use his best puppy-dog expression. "At least take a cookie before I leave? I made them for you. Thinking is hungry work." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lotus_beyond 2009-12-27 02:08 pm UTC (link)
	"I'll... consider it." Renju had more or less composed herself again--at least, as best she could, all things considered. She had, it seemed, even more to think about. Suddenly the dorm felt far, far too quiet. She took the cookie, uncertain of whether she'd actually ever eat it. "Thank you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

keiito
2010-01-10 11:14 pm UTC (link)

"Don't mention it. And if you need me, you know the number. You can also reach me on MISS, my name is TungstenChefK1, just like it is in Matsuri."

He patted her on the shoulder. She seemed somewhat uncomfortable with his presence. Well. Best to give her time.

A moment later, he was out into the hall, headed back towards his own dorm room. Matsuri actually seemed like a good idea, all things considered.

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