InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Your fears are groundless"

Shiori Wakanata (shiori_wakanata) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-10-18 23:43:00

Entry tags:

kanaye, shiori

Who: Shiori + Kanaye
Where: Somewhere public.
What: A srs talk.
When: 3:00pm
Why: 'cause Shiori's got some s'plainin' to do.

Nothing seemed to go right for Wakanata Shiori, save for her art. But even that had let her down; the prestigious art school in Tokyo she had gotten into had been great, but not at all for her. The city, anyway. The school really was wonderful. But Tokyo... Tokyo had been so big and unwelcoming and unfamiliar and something about it didn't sit well with Shiori. It had been great at first, but the longer she stayed...

Well, she was glad to be back home and yet she wasn't. She'd have to deal with not only her parents, but school and the people she had left behind. Like Aoi-chan and Kozue-san and Shirai-kun and...

Hopefully they wouldn't demand explanations. Or really rag on her for leaving. Aoi-chan, she knew, would of course ask questions. But Kozue-san and Shirai-kun would be more... accepting? of her answers. No, Aoi-chan was the one she really had to look out for. Her, and Kanaye of course.

Her chest tightened, and she placed her fist against it as she stared solemnly at the ground. Kanaye was one of the reasons why she wasn't glad to be home. They'd talk, of course they'd talk. She owed him that much. But it didn't mean she was looking forward to it.

Shaken out of her thoughts as the streetlight changed colors and the few people she had been standing with moved to cross the street, Shiori followed after quietly. She was on her way to buy more notebooks for school - she knew she'd need them, for the month that she had missed. Eurgh, she wasn't looking forward to that.

A flash of gold startled her out of her thoughts yet again, and she froze once her brain processed what she saw. There before her was the very person she had been thinking of. And though there were people milling about, there weren't enough for her to hide amongst them. He had to have seen her.

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zealousemperor
2009-10-19 04:59 am UTC (link)

Kanaye liked wandering. It was fun, he met people he didn't know and thus didn't hate him, and he could think in peace without people looking at him oddly. Well, at least, no more odd then usual for a Japanese person to look at a person with blond hair.

So there he was, walking around, minding his own business, thinking about how adorable his and Maeko's kids would be when he noticed her. It wasn't because she had a particularly different appearance, to be sure. She looked very similar to just about every other Japanese schoolgirl he didn't know, considering she had black hair and no very different characteristics. It was because he knew her. And he hated that.

"Shiori-san." Kanaye managed to say, walking over to her. His expression was somewhere between anger and depression. "Hello, how have you been?" he asked, monotone. "Because I'm sure that there isn't anything you might have missed at all. I wouldn't think that a relationship was very important, after all. Why would YOU?" he finished, emotion finally flaring in the last word.

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shiori_wakanata
2009-10-19 05:06 am UTC (link)

Confrontations were something she never liked. She liked staying on people's good sides, and she'd easily admit she was wrong than fight. She hated people thinking poorly of her, and she hated it even more when she knew she deserved it. Not calling, or emailing, or texting... just what kind of person was she? Kanaye had every right to be mad. Of course he did.

But that didn't mean Shiori liked it.

"Senpai," she said quietly, looking thoroughly miserable. "I... um, I can explain." She paused before quickly amending her statement. "Or, well, no. I can't. What I did was really inexcusable. But... can we, um, talk somewhere else?"

She didn't want a confrontation in public. She didn't want a confrontation at all, to be honest.

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zealousemperor
2009-10-19 05:08 am UTC (link)

Kanaye kept glaring. She abandons him, just when he needed her the most, and then she comes running back crying? Pff. At least she had the decency to come back. That's more then he could say for SOME people...

"Fine." he said pointedly. "Where shall we go, Shiori-CHAN?" he spat bitterly. "Be sure to stay there this time, if you go running off again I'm afraid I don't know what I'll do."

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shiori_wakanata
2009-10-19 05:16 am UTC (link)

Hesitating, Shiori nodded jerkily. Where would be appropriate? A fast food place didn't seem appropriate, especially considering that had been the place where they had hung out for the first time. A park seemed too public, too easy for someone to walk in on them. There had to be somewhere...

Feeling even more self-pity (she couldn't even think of a place for them to talk), she rose a hand to tug on her hair nervously. Come on, she told herself. Think!

The school was close, she suddenly realized. And the school was... well, it wasn't neutral grounds, but it was close enough. They could talk on the bleachers or something.

Swallowing, she motioned for him to follow and lead the way, guilt gnawing away at her all the while. She deserved his anger, and his twisted honorifics, and his hateful glares. She was stupid to have thought that maybe they could just go on as if nothing had happened - and if not with a relationship, than as friends.

Stupid, she was so stupid.

Seeing the field and the bleachers, Shiori picked up the pace.

"Is this okay?" she asked, daring a glance back at the taller male.

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	zealousemperor 2009-10-19 05:18 am UTC (link)
	Kanaye just kept walking, his face blank. He looked up at the bleachers with a raised eyebrow, then nodded curtly. "I don't have anything else to do." he said as he walked up the bleachers. When he reached the top, he sat down and leaned against the wall, staring forward emptily. "So what do you want, Shiori-san?" he asks weakly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

shiori_wakanata
2009-10-19 05:24 am UTC (link)

Following after, Shiori winced at each metallic clang their footsteps made. She had never liked the sound, but now seemed even more inappropriate. Sitting on the same bench but a further distance away, Shiori played with the hem of her skirt. Her eyes wouldn't raise from the bench beneath hers.

"I.. like I said, it's inexcusable what I did. I left without saying anything to anyone, and you ar- were my boyfriend, and I should have said something to you," she said, the words fumbling from her lips. "But... but I left for Tokyo because I was so stressed. And... it's funny, but I don't even remember what I was so stressed about. But I know it wasn't you. You're great, senpai, you're really great and you don't deserve any of this. But I didn't want you to see how weak I was and to get angry at me for running away instead of facing my problems."

She laughed shakily, fingers still playing with the hem of her skirt.

"But you are mad at me, and Tokyo really sucked, and none of it was even worth it in the end," she continued on. "I'm really, really sorry."

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zealousemperor
2009-10-19 01:29 pm UTC (link)

Kanaye stared cooly at his ex-girlfriend. "Let me get this straight." he started, sounding bored. "You left me without telling me ANTHING because you were stressed about something, so you left to Tokyo. However, you can not remember what you were stressed about, nor did you really like Tokyo anyway. But you are sure it had nothing to do with me because I'm nice and don't deserve this." he finished, putting his head in his hands. "You got that right at least..."

He took his head out of his hands and looked at her. He looked like he was ready to cry. "Tell me, Shiori-san, if I was so great then why did you leave in the first place? You could have told me something! ANYTHING! You could have fucking wrote me a letter! But no, you thought it would be awkward so you never even told me where you went! I was worried sick! I thought you got sick and fell into a coma or died or something or your parents moved or..." he said quickly, crying. "B-but no, you just left for Tokyo..."

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shiori_wakanata
2009-10-19 11:28 pm UTC (link)

Shiori curled in on herself, no longer playing with the hem but gripping it tightly. Rather than brush back her hair, as she usually would have done, she let it create a barrier between her and Kan- Satou. As a result, Shiori completely missed the look on his face. She felt so stupid. She knew that it was ridiculous of her to not even remember why she got so stressed, but to hear Satou say it made it seem all the more foolish.

"I didn't want you to worry about me," she whispered. "I... you had enough going on too. I didn't want to burden you with my stupid problems. A-and I was so ashamed of myself for just leaving you that I couldn't bring myself to text you. I-I should have been more responsible."

And wasn't that an understatement? She should have been more responsible, she should have let him know what was going on, she should have been able to handle the stress better. But all of the should'ves in the world wouldn't change what she did do.

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zealousemperor
2009-10-19 11:35 pm UTC (link)

Kanaye twitched a bit, still crying. "Burdening each other with stupid problems is one of the parts of being in a relationship, Shiori-san." he said between sobs. "One of the other parts is just being there for each other when the problems come up, which makes them better. You...could have told me or something! I would have understood!" he shouted quickly. "No one ever trusts me with these thigns....Here I was, being a foolish man, thinking that someone actually likes me enough to want to be with me..." As he said this, his voice went from frantic to a monotone.

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shiori_wakanata
2009-10-19 11:45 pm UTC (link)

Shiori looked up then, surprised to hear the sob. She had no idea he'd be this upset about it. Sure, she was upset too, but she wasn't the one that was crying. Now, anyway. But Satou was really upset about this.

She was the worst. Here she was, being a total bitch - had been a bitch - and she hadn't even realized it. At least people who were aware of it could do something to fix it. Now, though, it might be too late.

"It isn't that," she said quietly, unsure of whether or not she should touch Satou in an attempt to comfort him. "It isn't that at all. As... as cliched as it is, it really wasn't you. It was me. It wasn't that I didn't trust you, but that I was too embarrassed. Someone like you didn't deserve a weakling like me."

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zealousemperor
2009-10-19 11:55 pm UTC (link)

Kanaye looked up, eyes narrowing. "I didn't deserve somebody like you? I, an obsessed teenage boy with serious family issues who flirts with everything in a skirt, didn't deserve you, one of the sweetest girls in the grade who's a bit spacey but has excellent drawings? Of course, why didn't I see it before?"

He went into the fetal position. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me this much, but...I...it's..." he tried to say before giving up and just staring into space.

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shiori_wakanata
2009-10-20 12:25 am UTC (link)

Shiori frowned, watching Satou warily.

"Senpai, we've all got issues. You're just better at hiding yours. And... I certainly don't feel like one of the sweetest girls," she mumbled. "I don't mean to sound harsh, senpai, but... you'll move on to someone even better than me. I know you will. And you'll be a lot happier than you ever could have been with me. Everything will work out for you, so just... just stick with it, alright? I know you can do it."

I couldn't was left unsaid.

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zealousemperor
2009-10-20 12:37 am UTC (link)

Kanaye laughed bitterly. "Of course we have have our issues, that's the point of living! Problem is, my issues are worse then yours, and..." There it is. The one thing he knew she would say, and that he didn't want her to. She just said it. "Everything will work out? Of fucking course it well. Everything has nice, happy endings, after all. No tragedy, nobody dying that didn't deserve it, nobody leaving their children all alone. Oh, WAIT." Kanaye continued bitterly, stopping with a faux-dramatic gasp.

"The girl I DO like now probably doesn't like me anyways..." he said before he started crying again. "I'm pathetic, aren't I? I break down over one person moving away. I'll never have a stable girlfriend at this rate, and like hell I'll actually get into a loving relationship. I'll just marry someone out of convenience and live my life boringly..."

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$Shiori Wakanata: :\$

shiori_wakanata
2009-10-20 12:45 am UTC (link)

Shiori turned to face him fully. It was obvious that this wasn't about her anymore, or even about the relationship they once had.

"You're not the one that left, senpai," Shiori said. "If you're issues are worse than mine, then at least you can handle them. And everything will work out because you'll accept what's happened and move on. Everything might suck now, but you'll get used to it and it won't be so bad."

Her heart clenched yet again when he said that he liked someone else. Though she was glad he had moved on, it still hurt to hear him say it aloud. And so soon, too. But it was probably for the best she learned it now - no surprises later, after all.

"Don't say that!" she exclaimed. "It's just one relationship! Don't beat yourself up over something I did! And don't give up now! This is still high school, senpai. It isn't a reflection of how things are going to be for the rest of your life!"

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zealousemperor
2009-10-20 12:50 am UTC (link)

Kanaye chuckled. "Get used to them? Shiori-san, I have had 17, almost 18 years to get used to my issues and my life sucking. I think a man can cry a bit whenever something bad happens that affect his personally, alright?"

"It's one relationship, true." he started, quickly sobering up. "But quite frankly this has been a theme since I've been having relationships. Everyone I've ever liked hasn't returned the favor, and the ones that did didn't do it for very long. Hell, it hasn't even just been romantic relationships. My parents are DICKS."

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shiori_wakanata
2009-10-23 03:49 am UTC (link)

Frowning, Shiori looked down at her skirt, taking in the thick, colorful thread that made up the garment.

"Well, of course you can cry about it. It's better than bottling everything up, anyway," Shiori said. Smiling almost bitterly, she continued, "Maybe you should try Tokyo. This place isn't your scene at all, senpai. You'd do really well in the city."

He would do well where she failed. If she was all dreams and aspirations, he was motivated and able. He could make it work if he really set his mind to it.

And her? She drew more doodles than actual pictures.

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	zealousemperor 2009-10-23 10:15 pm UTC (link)
	Kanaye laughed bitterly. "Tokyo? You kidding? That place is more corrupted then Reizo's house." he said. "Besides, I don't want to leave Maeko-chan. I can't exactly ask her out if I'm going to the city, right?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shiori_wakanata 2009-10-25 06:01 pm UTC (link)
	Tilting her head slightly, Shiori asked, "Akuba-san?" At least, she hoped that was Maeko's last name. Shiori never was good with names or remembering facts, as was reflected in her grades. Her attention to detail, though, was superb. Yay her. "You could go to Tokyo for university," Shiori said. "It doesn't need to be right now." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2009-10-26 06:06 am UTC (link)
	Kanaye nodded. "Yeah..." He scoffed. "WHAT university? It doesn't matter, Shiori-san. It doesn't matter where I go, I'm going to get the same job. Hell, if I DON'T go to a university, all that's going to happen is my father is going to glare at me for a bit." (Reply to this) (Parent)