professorsnark (professorsnark) wrote in dhmaster_rpg, @ 2007-09-30 23:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | diary, severus snape |
Diary: Severus Snape
There was a time that I considered myself the most sane person in any given room, which isn't that great of feat when one is alone in a room with Albus Dumbledore, but that sentiment is the same regardless. Yet now I feel as though my feet have been knocked out from under me and my mind is no longer my own. It started with the dreams. Those blasted bloody dreams of Potter. At least the Potter in my dreams had been older. If the person in my dreams had looked anything like the child Potter before the war, I would have had to kill myself.
But thankfully, that was not the case. The Potter in the dreams looks exactly the man Potter is today. And the things that man did to me in my dreams would make anyone blush. And I did the right thing of course, I tried to stay as far away from him as I could. Snarled and barked and otherwise kept him at bay.
But then...then he told me the memory he wanted to keep was the one where I smiled. I still don't quite understand that, but it had so startled me, and I left him with all of my memories. Now I don't want them back. But I want Potter back.
Things were going so well, I think I could go so far as to say were....flirting. We were enjoying each others company at least. It felt pleasant, and safe and warm. All those words I've never associated with anyone before. But then Black had to come and ruin it all.
Harry chose to go with Sirius without any thought at all. He walked away as if I were nothing of consequence. Much like his mother used to do around Potter, Black and Lupin.
It's pathetic that it can reduce me to feeling like a petulant schoolboy once again.
I've got to get Potter out of my head.
And where the hell is my godson? He's avoiding me and I don't know why. I'm going to throttle him when I see him.