"Now, Pads. Relax." James drawled peacefully. "Be an adult about this. Yelling never accomplished anything."
Peaceful and stupid were two different things, though. James sat relaxed in his chair, mug in his left hand, and wand propped on the arm in his right. He motioned to the chair. "Now, you're old enough to know that every action has a consequence." James continued sagely. "Abandoning me just happened to encourage your feminine side."
He took another sip, letting the silence emphasise his point. "Besides, I found Pete's underwear. It had plenty of patch hair from the land down under. I could have given you his shunken peas instead. Personally, I felt I was being reasonable."