twilightspeaks (twilightspeaks) wrote in dethslash, @ 2009-07-24 20:26:00 |
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Toki moaned. His body was drenched in a sticky combination of summer heat and sweat. Every sensation – the prickle of grass blades under his skin, the warmth of the man above him, the sound of explosions around – was amplified tenfold for fear of being seen. They’d never done it outside, before. It had always been something hidden in a bedroom or a closet. A furtive, secretive act that took place behind closed doors with the lights out. This was a new side of his partner. Toki was thrilled by it, but afraid to get used to it. He wasn’t sure what had inspired the change. Even if he’d had the capacity to work it out, he was too overwhelmed by bliss to try.
After they’d both come, Nathan raised his head. A response was expected. Demanded. “Say it, Toki.”
Fireworks were going off around them, still.
“Okays. Gods bless Americas.”
An Explosion Family Holiday
Nathan came into his office and fiddled with the pretty glass shade of one of the nice lamps.
"What is it, Nathan?" He finally asked.
"Um...."
"I'm your manager. Whatever it is, you can say it. I can't guarantee I'll appreciate hearing it, but—"
Nathan's words came out in a rush. "Come meet my parents. Not as my manager," he added.
Charles looked mildly surprised, pleasantly so. "So, it's like a...um...relationship thing, then?"
"Right." Nathan fingered the small lamp shade a little more.
"I see."
"You know I always hang with my mom and dad on the Fourth of July. So, I just thought—"
"I understand, Natha—"
"I'M TALKING HERE!" Nathan snapped, looking up at Charles darkly for a moment. "But, yeah, you'll go with me?"
"Of course."
Nathan sighed a relieved sigh. "Okay, well, we'll set up some...you know, ground rules, or something."
"I'll write them down."
Nathan nodded, clicking the small lamp on, and then off. On and off. On and off. "Great." On and off.
Charles found a blank sheet of paper. "So, do you want to set them up right now?"
"NO, NOT NOW!"
"O...kay." Charles put down the piece of paper.
"Sorry, I'm nervous. I'm just nervous." On. Off.
Charles nodded, taking a sip of his coffee, in, of course, a Nathan Explosion skull mug, autographed by Nathan, that he had received sometime in the first month they'd been an 'item.' "It's okay to be nervous, Nathan. I promise I'll try not to embarrass you or anything."
"That's good. Put...uh, put that down. One: Don't embarrass me."
"Okay, right, right." Taking the piece of paper in hand again, putting it in front of him on the desk, Charles started scribbling down the ground rules.
"Um, don't pay attention to anything my mom says. So, two: Ignore my mom."
"Ignore Mrs. Explosion," he murmured back as he wrote.
"Uh, three: No suit."
"No suit."
"Uh, four: Don't feed the dog cheese."
Charles raised an eyebrow. "Don't feed the dog cheese?"
"He gets all gassy."
"Well, I wasn't exactly planning on giving...the dog...cheese, but, I'll write that down too, I suppose."
"See...that you do. Okay, okay, what number are we on?"
"Five."
Nathan scratched his head. "Hmm. Okay, read that...read that back to me, Charles."
"Don't embarrass you. Ignore any anecdotes your mother might wish to share. No wearing a suit, and no feeding the dog cheese."
"His name is Macaroni."
"No feeding cheese to Macaroni. No, uh, Macaroni and cheese." Charles drew out the last phrase, obviously pleased with himself.
"No, see why you have to write it down? It sounds like a good idea. It sounds fun. But it's not worth it at all."
"What type of, uh, dog is Macaroni?"
"Golden...retriever. Old...golden retriever."
"I see."
"Oh! Okay, I got another one. Rule number five: No holding hands or any of that bullshit in front of my Uncle Stan."
"No romance. Got it."
"That should cover it, I think. One more time. Read it back to me."
"No embarrassment, no stories from your mother, no suit and tie, no feeding the dog cheese, and no holding hands or any of that bullshit."
"In front of Uncle Stan."
"In front of your uncle. Alright?"
"Sounds good," Nathan said. "Okay, those are our ground rules. But...maybe feed him just a little bit of cheese, then you can see why we don't feed him cheese."
"I think I'll pass."
"Okay. Oh, and I have to see what you decide to wear. I can't have my...can't have the...you...looking like a douche."
"Understandable." Charles folded the list neatly in order to store it for safe keeping.
Charles and Nathan had gotten together just a couple months before, with some awkward fumbling that led to Nathan admitting feelings for him, to Charles's surprise. The situation had threatened to become awkward, but they'd kept the weirdness under control, and now they had reached this point. They were a couple.
It was still awkward, but in a way Charles could not only handle but absolutely reveled in. Like his gift from Nathan. He preferred it to flowers or some such nonsense anyway. At least it was original. It had quickly become his favorite mug, although he still used his Most Brutal Manager Ever mug around the others. The Nathan skull mug was special, and private, since they weren't really out yet.
It would only be a matter of time, if the two of them lasted. Charles didn't mind either way, as long as Nathan didn't get a lot of bad publicity for it. Dethklok had enough bad publicity for Charles to deal with already.
"How's this?"
"Seriously? A Dethklok t-shirt? You've got to have something better than that."
"Harvard?"
"No."
"Plain white t-shirt?"
"No, that's boring too!" Nathan pushed him aside, looking inside the large closet himself. "Wow. This is like a suit store."
"Still a pretty novel experience for you, I'd bet."
"Yeah, and that's not gonna change anytime soon." Nathan smiled slightly, expression dimming as he started going through t-shirt after t-shirt and pulling them off the rod, tossing them aside. "These are all craaaaaaaap!"
"Some of those bands are really good," Charles protested.
"Yeah, but a band t-shirt? God, live a little. You're a manager all day!"
"What do you suggest?"
Nathan sighed, getting on his hands and knees to dig through the pile on the floor. "This one?"
He raised an eyebrow again. "'I'm with Stupid'?"
"Work with me here. It's not Dethklok, it's not some other band—which, I should be offended, since you're our manager, but hey—and it's not Harvard."
"Nathan...." He adjusted his glasses. "That's my laundry day t-shirt, and it’s not exactly the kind of first impression I'd like to make. Don't you think the Harvard shirt would display a little more...intelligence?"
"Your problem isn't that you need to seem more smart...er. It's that you need to seem more normal!"
Charles considered it for a moment before accepting the shirt from Nathan. "'I'm with Stupid' it is."
"Those jeans, though, they're great." Nathan eyed Charles's ass blatantly as he changed his shirt once again. "Hey, how come you don't have a Nathan Explosion shirt?"
"Honestly?" He glanced over his shoulder at Nathan, smoothing the shirt out, turning back around. "I'm not the type of man who goes walking around asking people to 'Explode Me.'"
"No, not that one! Ah, eww! No, just one of the nice ones, with my picture on it. Have a little class."
"Nathan, I don't think I should have to keep reminding you of this, but we're not out."
"Right, right. So...you'd never wear an 'Explode Me' t-shirt? Ever?"
"Well, perhaps not never—"
"You'd look hot!"
"Mm. Well, we'll see."
The Dethcopter landed in an open field, lighting it on fire, and they drove one of the many limos out of it, making it to the house in a good twenty minutes, smashing a lawn gnome as Nathan pulled in rather haphazardly, spanning the entire width of the driveway and then some.
"I'M HERE!" he yelled, getting out, Charles carefully following suit a second later. The limo looked like it might be smoking.
A handful of people came out the front door to greet them, eyeing the damage Nathan had done to the lawn. Charles recognized Nathan's parents, Oscar and Rose. They were staying with Stan Explosion, Oscar's younger brother, and his family. Nathan was glad they were staying with Uncle Stan, even if he was a real douchebag when it came to, well, guys with boyfriends, because the less time he had to spend around retired vets, the better. His dad was enough.
His cousin Emily was there with a little girl on her hip, and Nathan went for her first. "Hi Mom, Dad, Uncle Stan, Emily, Little Natasha." He took the little girl, apparently Natasha, holding her gently, tickling her, cooing. Charles couldn't hide his surprise at the actions. He'd had no idea Nathan had a soft spot for little ones.
Nathan narrowed his eyes at the stunned expression on Charles's face. "Well anyway, I brought my manager, Charles Ofdensen." He bounced Natasha a little.
"Nice to meet you again, Mr. Ofdensen," Rose said, shaking Charles's hand.
"Well, it's nice of you to have me. I understand that Fourth of July is something of a tradition for the Explosion family."
"Isn't it a tradition for everyone?" Oscar slapped a hand over Charles's shoulders, seemingly pleased that he owned something besides a suit. Rule three? Check. Maybe Nathan knew what he was talking about after all. "You must be tired out, having to deal with Nathan all day long. Come on inside and grab a cold one!"
Charles felt the corners of his lips pulling up into a slight smile. His own father was a little distant, and while he could tell Mr. Oscar Explosion was one of those guys who would rather bestow affection upon friends of his boy than upon his actual boy, he appreciated the attention for its own sake.
Another woman, Nathan's Aunt Susana, handed him a cold beer. A young boy who looked a lot like the little girl, Natasha, was playing some sort of a handheld video game at the table.
"That looks good," Charles noted, eyeing the pie crust Aunt Susana was forming.
"Aren't you just the sweetest? You get the first piece when they're all done."
Charles took a sip of his beer and thought to himself that he could get used to all the attention.
At about half past noon, Charles watched as Emily and Nathan slathered sunscreen on the squirming little ones. The boy looked to be about 7 or 8 and the little girl, Natasha, looked to be about 2.
"You are really attached to that little girl, aren't you?" Charles asked him as he finished rubbing the sunscreen into her small face, very carefully, for a man with such big hands.
"Dude, this is my namesake."
"Oh yeah?" Charles tentatively reached out to touch her baby soft hair. "Hello there, Natasha." The little girl sent him a sweet, open smile, and he felt his heart melt.
"You can hold her, you know, if you want to." Charles briefly glanced at the mother for assent. Emily nodded, and Charles carefully took her from Nathan.
"You want to be a singer when you grow up?" Charles cooed at her. "Like Uncle Nathan? Yeah?"
Nathan watched with a slight smile. It was his turn to be surprised. Charles looked a little awkward with her, but he also seemed so...nurturing. It was a beautiful sight.
"She doesn't talk much," Emily explained. "She really lives up to her name."
"Yeah. I didn't talk 'til I was 5. Isn't that right, Natasha?" He tickled her under the chin and she giggled.
"You surprise me, Nathan. I think you might be a good father, if that's the path you decide to go down."
Nathan turned to him, trying to sound casual. "You know, there are other people I'd need to consult about that."
Emily helped pull Nathan's hair out of Natasha's strong grip. "What other people? Do you finally have a girlfriend?"
Nathan glanced at Emily, and then looked back at Charles. "Sort of."
"Sort of?" She nudged him in a "do tell" manner.
Rose came in at that moment with two small, festive shirts. She gave a shirt to the boy, Bobby, first, bearing a cartoon image of the Statue of Liberty deviously lighting a firework with her torch. For Natasha, she had a shirt with the Liberty Bell that said, "You Crack Me Up."
"Aren't they just the sweetest?"
"They're pretty sweet, Mom. Alright, so are we almost ready?"
"Ready for what?" Charles asked.
"Man, Charles, the fair. Pay attention."
"I'm new at this. I'm kind of out of the loop."
"Right. Well, there's this fair and...well, it's pretty fucking awesome."
"Nathan," Rose warned.
"Sorry, Mom. Anyway, you can get your face painted, and you can go on rides. We should do the Ferris wheel together."
"Well, I don't see why not." Charles took the bottle of sunscreen and started on his own face, neck, and arms. "Although, I'm not so sure about the face painting."
"Stop whining. You wanted to come." He grinned at his boyfriend, briefly patting him on the shoulder. "It comes off, you know."
"Right, well, I'd hope so."
Nathan had reverted back to about Bobby's age, and Charles soon found himself forgotten about. He was, as Nathan put it, "just too boring" for the fair.
Charles had to admit the comment had him pouting a little, and he stuck with Emily and Natasha as Nathan rode the Ferris wheel with his nephew, listening to the boy ramble on about Transformers and such. Again, not Charles's area of expertise.
"I bet hanging out with the families of Dethklok is pretty interesting."
"I guess. This is sort of the first time I've tried it."
"Oh really? You sure do handle yourself well in new situations."
Charles held little Natasha's hand, her gripping his finger sweetly, pulling it close. "All part of the job description."
"Where did you go to school?"
"Harvard. I fenced there, actually."
"Did you really? You know," she said, looking intently at him, "you're kind of sexy."
"Well, um, thank you."
"Are you single? They don't talk about you much in the news. Manager and all."
"Right." He paused for a moment as Natasha unfolded his hand and kissed the palm. "Well, to be quite honest, I'm dating someone right now."
"I had a feeling," she admitted calmly. "It was worth a shot, though. You look nice in a suit. And out of it," she gestured to his current attire.
"I wanted to wear my Harvard shirt, but, uh, this was the impression Nathan preferred I make."
"You let Nathan dress you?" She shook her head. "I wouldn't let him do that in a million years."
"Mm? Well, noted."
"I'm going to go to the little ladies' room. Will you hold her while we wait for them?"
Charles looked hard at Natasha for a moment. "Sure. Okay." He was already sure it wouldn't be the most uncomfortable or even the most strange thing he'd have to do this Fourth of July. He cradled her against him as he sat, watching the laughing uncle and nephew on the Ferris wheel.
"Well, Natasha, this is not the ideal date," he said, watching as Nathan and Bobby went around and around. He had a feeling Nathan had talked his way into a longer ride than most fair-goers were entitled to—the ride operator appeared to be a metalhead.
He'd not had much practice dating Nathan. He had expected the day to consist of schmoozing the relatives from inside the house and from the back yard, not holding a toddler as Nathan further reverted in age. At least there would be pie and barbeque later.
Nathan finally got off the ride with the boy, pointing to one of the big roller coasters. "Ahhh, we have to go on that one, Bobby."
"Yeah!" The kid said, eyes wide. "I'm finally big enough!"
"Let's go! Oh, hey, Charles, lookin' pretty domestic there," he teased. "You like Aunt Charles, Natasha?"
"Aunt?" Bobby took a good look at Charles, confused.
Charles looked unamused. "Regardless of how funny it sounds to your uncle, I am not an aunt."
"Oh, okay." The kid seemed to know that his uncle was a little eccentric.
Emily came back after a few minutes, and after Charles explained the boys were on a rollercoaster, offered to split some funnel cake.
Charles normally didn’t indulge, but something about the atmosphere was alluring.
"So, this lucky woman, what's she like?" Emily had admitted she was excited upon hearing that Charles would be showing up. She was recently divorced and was a little lonely. She'd read a lot about him and had a real respect for anyone who could handle five Nathans at once.
"It's...well, it's not a woman."
"Oh! You're gay!"
"I hope that isn't a problem."
"No, no. Don't worry about it. Does Nathan know?"
"Oh, he knows."
"Baby, sit back down in that chair. Good girl." She cut her off another little piece of funnel cake, Natasha munching happily.
"HI, GUYS! We both puked."
"Took you two long enough," she said, tugging at Nathan's hair playfully before looking over at Bobby. "You okay, bud?"
Bobby grinned. "I'm fine!"
"Why don't you two grab a corndog, and then we'll all get our faces painted."
"Yeah!" Bobby said. Then he grimaced. "After my stomach settles."
After waiting for Bobby's gut to recover, Nathan hit Charles up for some money, since part of the deal was he would take care of the finances, however small, and took him to stand in line for a corndog.
"So, this boyfriend of yours. Is he a big guy?"
"You could definitely say that."
"Muscled, flabby, somewhere in between?"
"Somewhere in between."
"Does he like metal too?"
"He practically breathes metal."
"How long have you been dating?"
While they still were not dating in the technical sense of the word, they had been together for a good while. "About two and a half months."
"Does he get jealous that you hang around five virile men all day long?"
"I'd have to ask him," Charles said a little distractedly as he looked over at Nathan and Bobby nearing the front of the corndog line. He wondered when Nathan would finally out them. He'd made his own ground rule that stated Nathan would have to be the one to do it, because he was the one who would have to live with the consequences of his family knowing.
"Do you have a picture of him?"
"No," Charles lied. Of course, yes, he did have a picture of the band on him. Though, it was a group shot, and not an individual thing. "So what's your story, Emily?"
"Recently divorced. It’s been a little tough, but, hey, I made it to Mom and Dad's for the Fourth. Not too shabby."
"You know, I have nothing but the utmost respect for single, working mothers."
"Thank you," she said with a soft smile. "Glad you're not a woman hater."
"No, that's Murderface's department."
Emily grinned and offered him the rest of the funnel cake, which he accepted.
Nathan practically ate his corndog in one bite and nagged Bobby to eat more quickly so they could get their faces painted.
"I think I'm gonna get a firework. It'll be great!"
Charles tried not to roll his eyes. "And, uh, what do you want to get, Bobby?"
"I'll see what they have," he said around bites of corndog.
"That’s my plan too," Charles agreed.
The wait wasn't too intensive, and they all got their turn to get something painted on their cheek. Nathan indeed got his firework, and Emily got red, white, and blue hearts. Charles got a simple 'USA" while Bobby and Natasha both got the flag.
"One more thing." Nathan took the veterans' hat his dad had let him wear off his head and put in on Charles, tightening it a little. "There. Now you look more like an Explosion."
Charles momentarily fingered the brim. "Thank you, Nathan."
"Hey, Emily," Nathan said suddenly, "Will you excuse us for a little bit, me and Charles?"
"Sure. Where are you going?"
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm—"
"I really have no idea," Charles assured her.
"—mmmmmmmmmm—
"I," he started.
"—mmm—
"I—"
"—mmmmmmmmmmmmmm—
"Nathan...."
"—mmmmmmm. The tunnel of love."
"Oh! Oh, you're Charles's boyfriend?"
"Um, yeah, but we're saving that for later so, yeah, don't spoil the announcement."
"I, uh, lied," Charles added. "About the picture, I mean." He pulled out his wallet and showed her a picture of the band in one of their sillier poses.
"God, this is so sappy I think I'm gonna hurl!" Nathan exclaimed. He paused. "Okay, let's go make out on a crappy little boat, alright?"
"Alright."
The boat held three couples, and if the other couples noticed that Nathan Explosion was in the boat, they didn't care enough about him at the moment to ignore their significant other. They moved forward slowly, the distinctive smell of a water ride permeating their nostrils, the dim lighting that helped with the mood surrounding them, the sound of the water and of kissing inspiring them into some sort of action. The feel of Nathan's large body next to his, the taste of Nathan's mouth on his certainly helped as well.
Nathan became a wild thing when they were inside the tunnel. His kissing was frantic, and Charles chalked it up to both lust and nerves all at once. He kissed back, but he didn't let Nathan's questing hand rise above his thigh. This public touching wasn't very characteristic of Nathan, or at least he didn't think so, but, then again, this was pretty much the first time they'd been out in public as a couple.
And Charles was just not that type of man.
When they finally got off, Nathan pulled his beau close for another quick kiss, tongue and lips dominating, arm wrapped around Charles's back. They got a couple of stares from other fair-goers, whether from the public display of affection or the homosexuality, Charles didn't know nor care.
Charles smiled up at Nathan, a little breathless, glasses a little fogged. "Couldn't, ah, get enough on the boat there, Nathan? You know, although Emily knows, the rest of the world is still supposed to remain oblivious."
"Fuck the rest of the world." Nathan squeezed Charles's ass, which earned him a stern look that threatened to break into a grin.
"We should really find your cousin again, before we add another offense to your criminal record."
They located Emily, who was grinning, while Bobby pulled a face.
"Nice kissing," he said, scowling.
"Someday, you're gonna love kissing, bud."
"Yuck, Mom!"
She ruffled his hair. "We should head back, Nathan. Our dads'll be reminiscing, and our moms'll be cooking. I don't think they'll have started grilling yet, but you can't be too sure."
"This day hasn't been too bad so far," Charles said hopefully. "Maybe coming out to the rest of the Explosions won't be such a disaster."
Emily put a hand on his back. "Oh sweetie...it will still be a disaster."
Charles's eyes narrowed. "Thanks for the, uh, encouraging words."
"Charlie boy!" Uncle Stan greeted. "We're just about to start with the grilling. Do you barbeque?"
"I do dabble, yes."
Charles found himself behind the grill, looking like a brutal destroyer of barbeque-able meats. Nathan was, needless to say, impressed. Even the floral apron and veterans' hat didn't take away from his grace and masculinity. He flipped burgers with perfect precision, and created perfect, absolutely perfect, hotdogs, all with the deadly accuracy he was known for. Nathan fell in love with him all over again.
Not only did he prove himself out on the barbeque, but he surprised Nathan by knowing some gaming tips and even a cheat code to one of Bobby's videogames.
"I didn’t know you even played videogames."
"I love videogames. You five just never invited me to play any of yours, if you'll recall."
"Oh. I guess that's true."
Charles shrugged. "I understand, you know. I am just the manager."
"No, you're not just the manager, at least not anymore." He wrapped an arm around Charles's shoulders with great pride. "Man do you ever grill like a...guy who grills."
"Don't kiss again," Bobby pleaded.
Nathan scowled at the boy, then rolled his eyes. "Well anyway. Maybe we'll play something sometime. It could be like, you know, a date."
"Alright." Charles tried to sound positive although he was disappointed. Not that it didn't sound nice, but he would have preferred a fancy date.
"Oh, that's not a date, Nathan. I raised you better than that," Rose said.
"Mom!" Nathan looked panicked.
Mother to the rescue, Charles supposed. His rescue. Or so he hoped. "Mrs. Explosion."
"Rose to you now, Charles. Should we tell your father yet, Nathan, or are you waiting?" She pulled the veteran's hat off of Charles's head and smoothed down his slight hat hair. She certainly did move into "mother mode" quickly, didn't she?
"We were gonna wait until everyone was done eating. You know, just in case Uncle Stan kicked us out." Nathan messed up Charles's hair again defiantly.
"Well, that makes sense. So, are videogames really your idea of a nice date?"
"Look, it's different. We're still a secret, Mom. And, you know, we're guys. It's not like Charles is some girl that I have to take to, you know, Bed Bath & Beyond, or buy a fancy dinner for."
"Well...for the record, I do enjoy a good fancy dinner. It's not like you don't have the budget."
"You should listen to your boy toy, honey."
"FUCK, THAT'S DISGUSTING! That's really disgusting, Mom."
"Well, your aunt Susana and I are almost done with the eggs and the potato salad. I want you boys to help bring everything out back so we can eat."
"Okay, okay, just, no more comments about my sex life."
When Nathan and Charles had finally finished getting everything set up outside, they came back in to announce that they were ready. Before they could do so, they heard Rose talking Charles up.
"That man is just so classy, Oscar. Don't you think he's classy?"
"Well, he's no Nathan; that's for sure."
"He is the sweetest thing," Aunt Susana said.
"He looks good in your veterans' hat, Oscar," Uncle Stan said. "And did you see him grilling out there?"
"We have to have him back again sometime," Oscar said sagely.
Nathan stood in the doorway, his large form quickly drawing the attention of the four adults. "Hey, we're ready, guys."
The food was amazing. Charles couldn't remember the last time he'd been at a real family barbeque with all the American classics. He got the first piece of pie, as promised, of both the cherry and the apple.
Then came the moment of truth.
"Uh, if I could have everyone's attention," Nathan muttered, standing.
Even Natasha watched intently as Nathan struggled to find the words. "Well...as you can see, I brought my manager, Charles Ofdensen. But, uh, the truth is, he's not just my manager. He's my...um...he's...my...date. We're sort of together." Nathan did not flinch at the horrified expression on his Uncle Stan's face. He'd promised himself he wouldn't. No need to add to the humiliation, right?
There was a long silence.
There was the clearing of a throat. "Look, I spent all afternoon with Charles. He's amazing, perfect for our Nathan."
Charles and Nathan glanced at Emily gratefully.
"Well," Oscar finally said, "if he's going to be gay, Mr. Ofdensen's not too bad a choice. If he's going to be gay."
Rose could finally breathe again, though Nathan still looked a little strained. "Aunt Susana?"
Aunt Susana shrugged, eyes on Uncle Stan.
"Mom, Dad, just give him a chance," Emily said. "Already, it's pretty obvious he's not going to leave Nathan like Bob did to me. And he's good with kids."
"And you said Nathan would never find someone who wasn't a horrible cow." Rose elbowed Oscar teasingly.
"I hold off judgment until some later time," Uncle Stan finally said.
Nathan stared at his uncle really, really hard, then sat down with a huff.
Rose took him under her wing instantly, and Charles ended up breaking ground rule number two. He couldn't help it; he was hopelessly interested in hearing more about younger Nathan. The small fire also just seemed to invite all sorts of friendly chatter. Nathan forgave him after some pouting.
Bobby had apparently snuck Macaroni, who Charles finally met, some cheese, causing Charles to wish he'd not met the dog at all, as it seemed to be very curious about strangers. It would not leave him alone and, well, to be frank, it stank to high heaven.
Stan watched Nathan and Charles's interactions intently in the low, orange light from the fire, waiting to pounce on them for any public display of affection. He received no opportunity to pounce.
They all gave the kids sparklers and lit store-bought fireworks, as well as some pyrotechnics of Uncle Stan and Emily's own creation. They ate some s'mores, and though the melted chocolate smeared at the corner of Nathan's lips seemed to call out to Charles to lick it off, he fully resisted the temptation. Though he did stare.
Finally, Charles and Nathan sat together, watching the bigger fireworks that came from a spot in the field of a nearby high school. They weren't as impressive as, say, Dethklok fireworks, but they were special simply because it happened to be the Fourth of July.
The patterns and colors mesmerized them, taking their mind off of Stan's reaction.
The time came for them to leave. Aunt Susana handed Charles the rest of the pie with a firm shake of his hand. Oscar gripped his shoulder and welcomed him to the family. Rose made sure Nathan was going to takes Charles out on a proper date sometime.
Natasha stood in front of Charles, silently demanding a goodbye hug. He scooped her up and gave it to her without a second thought. He didn't think he could resist, and didn't want to try.
The little girl pecked him on the cheek, and then reached for Nathan.
Nathan gladly took her, surprised when she whispered, "Bye, Nat'an."
They made it back to Mordhaus in one piece.
"What did you think of my family?"
"I actually had a great time today, Nathan. I think I got a little burnt, and the bugs were definitely biting today, but I sort of felt like part of the family."
"Good. 'Cause you're coming back next year."
Charles pulled Nathan close for a quick kiss. He was hoping he'd say that.
"You know," Charles went on, "your domestic side really does something for me."
"Oh yeah?" Nathan looked a little surprised, turning the expression into a smirk within seconds.
"Oh yeah," Charles rasped. As Nathan carefully slid his shirt off of him, he had the sudden urge to indeed go out and get himself an "Explode Me" t-shirt.
"What should I call you, Charles?" Nathan asked as he touched Charles's shoulders and chest gently.
Anything you want to, was Charles's mind's immediate response, but all he said was, "Well what do you want to call me?"
"I don't know. Would boyfriend be weird?"
"No. In fact, boyfriend sounds nice."
"Okay." Nathan paused in his gentle exploration of Charles's torso to pull him close in a big bear hug. "Brutal," he whispered.
Everyone but Toki was watching tv. Skwisgaar had spent the last several days on a hooker binge, and had missed out on a few things going on around the Haus. Therefore, he was quite unprepared for what happened next.
Toki came wandering in, and went straight for Pickles. "I wants to play a game."
"No! Git away from me, ya sick little freak!"
Skwisgaar looked up in surprise. The others were doing that thing where you don’t make eye contact, no help there.
"Pickle? Why’s you being so mean to Toki?"
"Dude, ya haven’t been around much lately. He’s gone fuckin’ demented."
Toki was still staring at Pickles. "I SAID I wants to play a game."
"An’ I said NO! Now leave me tha fuck alone!"
"Toki, what ams dis game? Maybes I will plays with you."
"Dude, no! Do naught play with ‘em he’ll prab’ly kill ya. I’m fuckin’ serious."
"Pfft, Toki wouldn’ts hurts me."
Nathan and Murderface were still pretending not to be there, not wanting to get involved in this. Again.
Pickles turned to face him fully. "Skwisgaar. A lot can happen in three days. You don’t wanna play with ‘em, jest trust me on thet."
Skwisgaar studied Toki. He did seem a little different, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. His eyes seemed overly bright, but it was probably juts a trick of the lighting.
Nathan and Murderface quietly got up and left the room.
Toki then turned to Skwisgaar. "I wants to play a game."
"What is did game? Tells me abouts it."
"I wants to play a game."
"Uh Pickle? Helps me out heres?"
"Well, if he doesn’t kill ya, he’ll prab’ly at least chawp off yer hands or sahmthin’."
"Toki? You wouldn’ts does dat to me, woulds you?"
He shrugged, grinning. "Depends on you. I wants to play a game."
"Okays, you’s startings to creeps me out nows. What ams wrong with yous?"
"I likes to play. I wants to play a game."
"Ja, I know you wants to plays a game, you keeps saysing dat. Tells me what did game is."
Suddenly, Charles hurried in with a few very large Klokateers. "Nathan alerted me that this was happening again. Toki, you need to come with me."
"I wants to play a game."
"I know, I know, we’ll find you someone to play with. Now come along."
"But I wants to play with them!"
"You know that’s out of the question. Come with me."
Sulkily, he allowed himself to be led away.
They watched him go, and Pickles sagged in relief.
"You’s really scareds of him, aren’ts you?
"Actually yah, I am. I saw what he did ta a couple of tha gears, before he decided he wanted to play with us instead."
"So you’s going to tells me what de fucks dat was all abouts?"
Pickles sighed. "He’s been watching Saw, all of them, nonstop for three days. An’ now he wants ta do thet shit fer real."
"De movies where de people has to mutilate demselves or dies?"
"Exactly."
Skwisgaar thought about that one for a bit. "Dis ams not good."
"No fuckin’ shit it’s naught good!"
"Still, I wonders what he plans for me?"
"Death."
"But Pickle, dere was always a ways to live, remember?"
"Well, Toki missed thet part, ‘cause tha one gear thet made it out, he killed."
"So we lets de butler deals with it?"
"Thet’s tha plan. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Now let’s jest git high or sahmthin, an forgit ‘bout it."
"Okays Pickle, I likes dat plan."
“You know I don't know the first thing about explosives. Ask one of the pyrotechnics!” A klokateer yelled at his partner, flinging his arms up in protest, a small star charm bouncing on the end of his hood.
“Craugh!!” the smaller klokateer crossed his arms and clacked his talons in displeasure.
“I said no such thing! I'm just a translator and a freakin' zoo keeper thanks to you! OWCH! God damn it, no need to tear my arm off.” The argument had gotten louder and was starting to attract attention.
“'Eh dere, what's all dis racket 'bout? I kin hear you two back at da trout 'atchery, mes amis.” the heavy creole accent was unmistakable.
“Kreeeeeeeee!!!” quickly the monster klokateer was distracted by the mention of fish.
“Hey Cahoui, Fish on the Brain here got a hold of some explosives and wants me to launch them for the big celebration.”
“He did what?! Mon dieu mon dieu, Dey is not gonna be 'appy.” the New Orleans native shook his head unhappily.
“Hey Cuz! Thing One and Double-Oh-Two. You guys hear about this deal that Baby Boom is going on about?” Behind hoods, faces fell; Paulie cocked his head in question until a tug on his arm brought him into eye contact with the furry and undeniably cute face of CR002 who had removed his hood.
“Mraaah! Teck teck trilll.” he rattled off in his own language. Paulie didn't break the eye contact but still spoke. “Uh, Kid, 74692. What the hell did he just say? I don't think I'll like it, but tell me.”
“BearHawk took these explosives for the big shindig. I didn't know where he got them from and I had nothing to do with this.” he waved his hands defensively.
“Mon dieu, she is going to pluck you, little one, when she finds out.”
“NO you didn't little man!”
A head peeked out from the garage, ear phones dangling out and caught up in piercings. :Hey Hoods, get back to work. I can hear you over my music... Are those the explosives that Boom was looking for?” Nix stepped out, grease smeared on his hands and across his face.
“BRACK!!” He looked pleased with himself and his wings fluttered gently, taking the attention from Nix as a complement.
“I don't care. You need to give them back, preferably before … oh great. The Cap'n's here.”
“What's the lot of you doing? Nix, CR002, get your hoods back on.” she shook her head as if to clear her vision. “And those better not be what I think they are.”
“Crrrrraw... Mraw...” the noises were slightly muffled as he struggled to get his hood on without tearing it.
“The little man took them!”
“Mon dieu, He is crazy!”
“-Boom's explosives-”
“I had NOTHING to do with this!”
They all tried speaking at once, none of them being fully heard or understood. The Captain's eye twitched in mild displeasure.
“Everyone... SHUT UP! Now I want to know exactly what is going on here. So either get me higher and drunker than Pickles so I can understand this thing, or, Kid, translate. And I want a direct translation, you get it?”
74692 meekly nodded, the star bouncing against the back of his head. He just hoped that BearHawk wasn't about to say something ridiculous and get them both killed.
“Brawk. Kikiki krooooooow!” he flung his wings out dramatically to emphasize his story.
There was a hesitation to translate, but all eyes were on him, including the beady black ones of CR002. “Ok, so there I was, missing the last big Klok party, and I wanted to do something up for this holiday. I mean what the fuck, a day of grilled food and explosives, why hasn't something been planned?”
“Schreeak! Caah kree kree.”
“And I overheard that one, well the closest word to what he said is 'Babealiscous', hood wanting to blow something up but only if she had the go ahead or if somehow they just disappeared.”
“Mreeeeeeeeeeeee!” He looked very proud as he ended his story.
“I made them disappear.” He had sunken back upon himself and had averted his eyes from the rest of the group. He was surprised to hear a few snickers. He was surrounded by crazy people; all of them as insane as BearHawk.
“Is that it? We thought you were going to explode them.”
“MY EXPLOSIVES!” they were all quickly joined by a happy Baby Boom. “Thanks little dood! I just had them reported missing after looking all morning. Now I can blow them up myself! So who's in for this?!”
Three cheers went up and the explosives were toted off to the picnic grounds for later. Boom's ear-to-ear grin was visible from under her hood as she turned around and quickly hugged the monster. “Thanks fuzzy man, but next time I find you with my explosives, I'll pluck your wings bare.” she turned away and bounced off after her fireworks.
“Mrrrrrraaaugh....” he practically sighed.
“You're right there, crazier than a flying cuke.”
“Nree-tak.”
“Oh god... Not you too... I'm gone, I'm leaving, going back to the bunks, don't want to be around this insanity, might be contagious.” He followed after BearHawk and the others still muttering to himself.
When a stray firework crashed through his window and exploded mere feet away, causing him to dive under his desk in order to survive... Charles thought it was probably time to go check on his boys. He went outside.
A very strange sight greeted him. They were all shirtless in the sun, and all of them (except Toki) were clearly already burning. They wore random stripes of white paint, which contrasted nicely with the increasing redness of their skin. They were also clearly very sweaty, the paint was smeared and running badly in places.
Charles surveyed the scene before him. "Do I even want to know?"
"Oh, we just got painted by ladies. The usual."
Just then a couple Klokateers came up, carrying several cases of beer. "We have been to the town, my lords. This is the cheapest beer we could find."
They descended on it, tearing open a box and grabbing some beer. The made faces as they drank.
"Ugh, dis is horribles!"
"Uh yeah, it’s pretty bad. Good work guys. Oh, you can like, have one, if you want."
The Klokateers, who had much better beer in their own fridges, declined and returned to their appointed tasks.
Murderface excused himself briefly, and returned carrying a box. "I’ve got cookiesh, but don’t eat them!"
Toki reached for the box anyway. "I wants a cookie!"
"No Toki! They’re poishon, they’re MurderCookiesh. You give them to people you want to kill. But don’t worry, they’re bringing ush a bunch of apple piesh."
"Oh wowee, pie! Pie and cheap beers and blowing shit up, we’s having fun!"
"Heh, yah dude, this is tha life."
Another Klokateer trotted up, presenting them with some previously requested items. "I’m sorry my lords, I could not locate black sheet plastic. Please accept this navy blue plastic instead."
Oh well, if that’s all there was... they just nodded.
Charles, still observing, once again just had to ask. "Plastic? What’s the plan here?"
They ignored him, and began applying the plastic to Murderface with the also supplied duct tape. The tape had stars printed on it, it was pretty.
Nathan finally answered Charles, "We’re making Murderface into a kite. A MurderKite. Then we’re going to run around and see if we can get him off the ground. And eat pie. And get drunk. Drunker."
Well, that sounded non-lethal enough. Charles just nodded. "Okay, I have work to do. Have fun with that."
Ah, summer.