Who: Ehren & Logan What:A secret surprise gift When:August 5th, mid day Where: The Facility and then Logan’s apartment Rating: Mid - mentions of death Status: Complete
It’d bad been five days since Logan and Ehren had spent the day drinking and playing pool. Something had changed in their dynamic that day, and while Ehren had a hard time not thinking about him before, now every waking second he had Logan on his mind. The pretty light blue eyes, the smile he rarely wore that could light up a room, it all burrowed into his brain for days on end. Except Ehren didn’t want to bother him since he seemed to be sort of a hermit.
So when he’d been playing Nintendo in his apartment and his phone lit up with a text from Logan he was a little surprised. He paused the game and grabbed his phone to read the text. Hey. Meet me at the facility, dress casual. Get here now. An eyebrow would raise but also a smile as he abandoned the game and ran into his room to deliberate over what was ‘casual.’ Eventually he went with a V neck Radiohead shirt and made his way to the Facility.
It took a bit but when he arrived he saw Logan and he smiled. “Hey, what’s so urgent?”
He felt out of place standing there at the Facility. Pretending to browse, Logan kept watch for Ehren. While he liked his secrets, trying to be covert probably was not one of his stronger points. All the while he kept his usual demeanor in an effort to ward away any guards or the residents, not wanting to attract any attention.
His own attire was casual, opting for a hunter green tee shirt that was plain, fitted jeans, and sneakers. There was no attempt to try to impress anyone, no want or need, so he never wore anything flashy or that might stand out. It felt odd to be out of his work attire, if he was being honest with himself, but having the day off was good. It allowed the rest of the plan to fall into place.
Over the last five days he’d found himself looking for a text to pop up - wondering if he’d done something wrong when the phone lay silent, dormant. It was off putting to him to want to get messages but he supposed that was part of how these sorts of things went. There was no doubt that the much shorter man had been on the forefront of his mind lately. But the silence stretching on helped put the plan into motion without surprises or the fear that it might be spoiled before it was allowed to come to fruition.
As soon as Ehren approached a heavy breath would be emitted. “Come on, this way,” he said softly, motioning for Ehren to follow.
A sharp right would be taken and he walked down a corridor, sliding sharply to the left. Corridor after corridor would be moved down until they reached a door where a guard was standing as if warding away those with ill intent. Without a second of hesitation Logan approached the guard.
Handsome as ever Ehren smiled at Logan, happy to see him again. It was true he’d not texted but it wasn’t because he didn’t want to, it was because when they had exchanged numbers Logan mentioned that he didn’t respond much. He hoped that he would hear from him but he didn’t want to seem pushy.
As soon as Logan spoke confusion ran across Ehren’s features. He followed him through the corridor and his heart leapt into his throat as they casually approached a guard. Had Caspian not done his work this might have been fuel for a panic attack. “Where are we going?” Ehren whispered to him, sincerely wondering if maybe Logan was some sort of trained assassin sent to murder Ehren.
Motioning for Ehren to stay behind him, Logan strode casually up to the guard. The guard would look up at the tall, muscular blonde and then a hand would lift and be extended out as if the guard expected something. A brief exchange was made and then the guard stepped aside, exposing a doorway.
Over his shoulder he looked at Ehren and motioned quietly for him to follow.
The door would be opened, a dimly lit storage area was exposed just through the doorway. Boxes upon boxes were stacked, some from floor to ceiling.
“Hurry, we don’t have much time,” Logan whispered.
“What… much time for what?” He asked, following Logan quickly through the storage room. Ok he was genuinely worried now, this wasn’t anything he was thinking of when he thought of surprising gifts. Was this the kind of surprising gift that would end with utter humiliation? It seemed quite possible at this point.
“Logan you’re kind of freaking me out right now.” He added, hitting his knee on a box as they walked passed. Who designed the lighting in this place?
The door would be closed once both of them had entered. Outside, the guard had resumed his position in front of the door, keeping anyone away as he had been doing before they had arrived.
Near the back of the room Logan moved and then he slowed to a stop. Turning to Ehren, he looked at him, “Close your eyes. Hands over them, no peeking.”
With patience he would wait for the instructions to be followed. “Seriously, no looking, okay? Actually, turn around.” He didn’t want to spoil the surprise.
Ehren chuckled a bit. Both at himself for thinking such terrible things and at Logan for not believing he could do something as simple as not peeking. He was absolutely right but still, who would ask that of a grown man?
Reluctantly he turned around and crossed his arms over his chest, a smirk on his face. “Alright alright. Just, show me already.”
Satisfied that Ehren wasn’t going to look or really be able to see much of anything even if he did break the rules, Logan turned to a large box and opened it up. Something was brought out and once he had what it was, he stepped up behind Ehren.
Arms would move around the other man as the something was pressed against Ehren’s chest gently. Soft sounds were emitted from the thing. And then one of Logan’s hands would come up to catch one of Ehren’s and it was then he set this into a palm.
He could feel what was in his hands before he could see it and his eyes went wide. There in his hands was possibly the cutest little corgi puppy he’d ever seen in his entire life. “Oh my god.” He said, looking down and the small ball of fluff in his hands. “H…” he couldn’t even form any words at this point. Dogs weren’t allowed on the island, that much he knew. So how did Logan manage to do this for him?
The little puppy gave a little bark and Ehren let out a laugh. She was so adorable. “How did you even get a dog here?” Present company excluded since he was technically human. He turned around to fix Logan with an expression that was just like the rest of them, obvious. “I don’t even care.” He switched the dog to his one arm and slipped his hand around Logan’s neck to press his lips to the other mans.
It had taken a lot of miracles and favors, plus all of the rest of the stipend he hadn’t blown at Josie’s to pull it off. “You said you missed your dog. I can never replace her, but I figured this might be sort of close.” The words were soft, he kept an arm around Ehren, absently, and looked over one of Ehren’s shoulders at the little dog.
As Ehren began to turn around Logan pulled back to give the other man room to spin. Eyes would close as their mouths collided, but the kissing was short lived. The little dog was licking him and Logan pulled back to laugh softly. It was amazing what a simple thing like a puppy could do.
“Surprise.”
He smiled after they pulled apart and looked down at the puppy again. “I can’t keep a dog in my apartment. There are cameras there.” He pleaded with Logan, even though he was still insanely happy to be holding a little girl dog in his arms. He felt like a proud dad except it was just an innocent little puppy.
“She’s so cute though, like Daisy was.” Was it wrong to name a puppy after your former dog? Ehren didn’t think so but he didn’t even know what this terms of this puppy were yet.
Logan’s eyebrows lifted at mention of cameras. He’d heard a rumor of that being a possibly but he was never certain. Ehren seemed to be certain, though. “It can’t stay here. I guess she can stay at my place,” he sighed. But wouldn’t his place have cameras too? Or was that only Ehren’s apartment? It seemed unreal that Ehren’s place would be the only one with surveillance.
He didn’t know what someone would call a dog like that and he wasn’t judging anyone for a name. “She can’t go outside when people might be around, or guards. I can split it with you if you want.” Raising a dog sounded like a chore but then it also felt exhilarating.
It seemed rather domestic, raising an animal together but the idea didn’t really make Ehren scared, it was actually kind of appealing. “You lost that game on purpose, didn't you?” He said with a raised brow. Ehren didn’t know if every apartment had cameras but they’d taken a special interest in Ehren ever since he’d been detained.
“I think Daisy suits her just fine.” He said, looking down at the pup with a smirk, rubbing her fluffy belly with his palm. “I can’t believe you did this for me.” And now them being in this facility with this puppy he’d really wished they were somewhere more private where Daisy could explore. That one kiss was electric and was hardly a thank you enough for what he’d done for him.
Logan sighed. But he couldn’t help the bit of a smile that happened, “Maybe.” He would never admit that out loud but they both knew the truth.
“I wanted to see you be happy for a change. Your old dog seemed to bring you a lot of joy - I could tell by the tone of your voice. It’s this weird thing being a wolf.” It didn’t matter.
“Let’s take her back to my place then, I guess.” He could stick the dog under his shirt or something, “We could use the box. Or find a smaller one.”
Logan began to look around at the various, unmarked boxes.
He looked around with Logan and found a box about Daisy’s size with some holes in it. “Here.” He said, having Logan hold the box so that he could put the dog inside. “Let’s go before she starts making noise.” He said, shuffling her into the box and putting the lid on top.
He let Logan hold the box and looked around to see if he could figure out how exactly they got there.
Taking the box, he opened the flap and held it out, supporting the bottom as Ehren lifted Daisy into it. “C’mon.” A toss of his head and he was closing the box and heading for the door.
Knocking on it, the signal he was supposed to give, the box went around to the back. The guard stepped aside and Logan opened the door, spun around the guard and walked backward down the hallway.
And then he turned and broke into a run.
Following suit he bolted after Logan, feeling like he didn’t have a care in the world. Laughter bubbled up inside of him as he ran as fast as he could with Logan until they finally made it to his door. Luckily Ehren did actually go out jogging on a regular basis so he didn’t get too out of breath. Logan should have told him to bring a water bottle or something.
“Jesus Christ, were you going to tell me that was your plan?” He said as he gasped for air, though the smile on his face proved he didn’t care.
“Impromptu,” he murmured with amusement. Leaning against the door he breathed out holding the box up, and out to Ehren. “In here.” Turning, he unlocked the door and opened it.
He’d never expected to be in charge of a dog, this had not been part of the plan, but if it was making Ehren happy then it was happening.
Once the other man and the box was inside he closed the door. “If she pees on my carpet I’m throwing both of you out.”
Ehren didn’t waste any time. He walked straight up to Logan and grabbed again by his neck to pull him into a kiss. That one in storage room was nowhere near enough, not after all that he’d just done for Ehren.
His other hand fumbled to grasp at Logan’s shirt because it felt like at any moment he could just fall to pieces on the floor. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy. It had been years, hell maybe even decades.
Arms would find a way around Ehren mindful of the moving little box. Eyes would close again as they kissed. He hadn’t kissed anyone in years - this was better than he thought it’d be.
But then he pulled backward and severed the kiss. A breath and the box was pulled around, between them both and Daisy was pushing through it with a whine.
A chuckle escaped Ehren as he took the little box and set it down on the ground, letting the whining puppy out of her box and into her new home. Still a little flustered from the kiss he licked his lips and tried to refocused his thoughts. “I’ve got a ton of unread manuscripts we could use for pee pads.” He recommended since he remembered how tough it was to raise a puppy.
“Well and just paper, lots of paper.” A smile came to his face as the little puppy jumped up to attempt to lick his face. He stood to let her get out and start to explore her new surroundings. He looked back up at Logan, trying to control the wetness in his eyes from spilling over. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“No, you’re better than that,” he shook his head. They weren’t using Ehren’s manuscripts for a puppy. Not for pee pads, anyway. Raising puppies was akin nearly to raising a child.
Looking down at both of them, Logan shrugged. He offered Ehren his hands to help him stand. “Why wouldn’t I?”
He took the offered hand and it brought him close to Logan, his heartbeat speeding up a little at the closeness. “I just, kind of feel like I don’t deserve it. Nobody has ever done anything that nice for me.” That was the truth, not even Dani. Although she did give him a huge favor when he was trying to date Meg.
“I really want to keep kissing you. Do you want to keep kissing? I really like it.” He said frantically, desperate to feel Logan share that with him again.
“I wanted to,” he sighed. People expected too much and gave too little on their own. Maybe he could make things right in the universe. Balance the scales a little. “Why wouldn’t you deserve it?”
A bit of a smile would be offered, as if he might be intimidated. “Really? I - kind of like it too. I haven’t done this in a long time.”
Ehren wished he could have said the same about himself, he’d probably have been better off if it had been a long time for him so he couldn’t blame Logan for being out of practice. He grabbed his hand with a smirk and led him to the couch for both of them to sit down.
“You don’t seem like you’re out of practice.” He didn’t mean that in a bad way, just that he was pretty damn good at it. Once they were sat he brought a hand up to Logan’s cheek letting his fingers rake through the hair there. He leaned in and ghosted his lips over Logan’s before finally letting them crash into his.
With his hand taken, Logan stepped over the curious puppy and he watched it explore the apartment. He worried that he wouldn’t be good enough at taking care of the little thing. And then he was sitting down on the couch.
“I am.” Clearing his throat he turned away. But that wouldn’t last long.
Turning back toward Ehren he felt those fingers rake into his hair. Eyes would close again and he melted into that kiss as if drawn in to a sand trap, no matter how he resisted he was pulled further in. A hand would find one of Ehren’s hips, fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt.
A breath was released as the kiss continued and he leaned into Logan’s touch. If he was being honest it actually felt really good to just kiss. No urgent removal of clothing, no desperation to finally release just a quiet exploration of one another.
His arm dropped from Logan’s face to smooth down the lines on his shirt with his palm. The skin beneath it felt strong, solid, and warm. Carefully he nipped at Logan’s bottom lip before sliding his tongue inside his mouth.
He pulled back, palms would lift, he pushed away. “No.” The guilt was back. He couldn’t do this. It felt wrong even though he was into it. There wasn’t any doubt except for the last five years of pain.
“I can’t.” Swallowing he shook his head. He felt bad but — he didn’t know if he could do this and make someone else happy.
Stunned, Ehren sat back. “Wha…” he stood up then, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to assume…” he felt like a serious idiot right now. Was this all some weird experiment for him or had they actually shared something real? He paced a little trying to think of something to say, anything but the words weren’t coming to him.
“Ok.” Was what he resigned to say, feeling the familiar lingerings of his self-image breaking through. “Can I ask why?” He decided, since now seemed like a reasonable time to have some sort of explanation. He never willingly gave him any other information so he shouldn’t be surprised if his answer is no.
He felt like an idiot too. And awful. Terrible. That wasn’t good for this. “No, no. It’s not you.” And fuck that sounded lame. Shit.
Pushing himself up to stand Logan turned and fled to the bedroom instead. He closed the door behind himself and sat down on the edge of his bed, a bit emotional.
Unbelievable. He was just going to leave Ehren there without an explanation? Hell no. Ehren walked up to the door and banged on it, yelling loud enough so that he could hear. “I’m sorry, I thought maybe there was something kind of amazing happening here but I guess I was wrong.”
He looked down at the little puppy who whined at his feet. A sigh came easily. “If your secrets mean more to you than an honest to god chance at a little bit of happiness in your life then that’s your choice.”
He picked up the puppy and pet it a few times before putting it back down on the ground. “I’ll leave you some paper for the puppy.” He resigned and began the trek toward the front door of Logan’s apartment.
Oh hell yes. That was how this was going to go. That banging on the door grated on his nerves. His muscles tensed. Casey used to do that shit, he hated it. But they’d fought a lot more than he wanted to admit. “You were.” He called. He hated himself.
A sigh. He was willing to let the other go. But something in him made him get up.
He tred to the door on fire. “You don’t know what I’ve been through. This isn’t about you.” Almost yelling he slammed the door behind himself to the bedroom and trekked over to front door
where Ehren was.
He was right, Ehren didn’t know what he’d been through, they were almost strangers. Yet here he was fighting with everything in himself to chase him. That didn’t really seem healthy. “Ok.” He said quietly, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“You’re right, it's not about me and for once it kind of felt good to just be with someone who could take my mind off of myself.” It was bare honesty and it was his best defense, because he was tired of constantly letting things slip through his fingers. He didn’t want that for Logan. “I’m sorry,” He croaked. “I really hope you can figure out what’s going on inside of you because I’ve grown to really like you and I’d like our friendship not to stop.” Because now that he’d faced the rejection he was sure that Logan didn’t want him, absolutely certain that there was no spark on his end.
He nearly collapsed onto the couch, sitting down. Head would go into his hands. Eyes would close. He was fighting - battling himself, at war with everything that happened. This shouldn’t be happening right now, he should’ve been able to be normal, to function normally and embrace what was happening.
“I like you,” he sighed. Tears streamed from his eyes but he didn’t look up at Ehren. He felt too much shame for that. “But I can’t do it. I’m afraid.”
Making his way over to the couch he sat down next to Logan and put a hand on his back. He rubbed it for a second before grabbing at his chin to bring Logan’s attention to him. His thumb went under one of Logan’s eyes to dry the tracks of his tears.
“Me too.” He said finally, concern in his eyes. He didn’t like seeing Logan like this and if there was anything in the world he could do to stop it, he would. “I think sometimes fear consumes us because we think about who we can wrong by doing the thing that we want. Nothing ever comes without a bad consequence. But I also think they are the ones most worth it. If we don’t take chances then we can never achieve things.” This was why he was in the faction, to take the risks that could save lives.
“I don’t want to force you into anything you’re not ready for Logan but I like you too and I’d be happy to take your call, when you’re ready.” He offered. Of course he had so many questions but he didn’t need them answered, not right now anyway.
At the prompting his head would lift but he turned away. Hands would clasp. The ring on his finger would swivel impatiently. He didn’t know what to do, if he was being honest with himself. It’d been five years and still this emotional wave was unyielding. It wasn’t fair to anyone else. He didn’t think it would ever recede.
“I was married before I came here,” he confessed. He’d never told this story to anyone because it was sacred. “Casey. She was the love of my life. We had problems, like anyone else.” He sighed. Wiping at his eyes. “One night we had a big fight. I yelled at her. It was stupid. We went to bed and the next morning she was —“
He heaved a sigh, labored with emotion. “— dead. The real kicker,” Logan laughed, shaking his head, “she was five months pregnant with our daughter, Celeste.”
This was anxiety. Maybe he had never had a panic attack before but if he kept going that might be what happened. “I did that. I fucking killed them. You shouldn’t feel anything for me.”
His eyes softened as he listened to the story, unperturbed by Logan moving out of his grasp. He listened quietly to Logan’s truth. He looked around the apartment at where the cameras usually laid. They were there but there was no telling if they were dummies or not. He wanted to be honest with Logan now but he couldn’t know.
“I’m so sorry Logan.” He said quietly, perching his elbows onto his knees. “But how do you know that it was you?” He asked, curious as to how he wouldn’t have to be awake during something like that. If he recalled, Logan said that his transitions were painful.
Moisture streamed freely from his eyes, tangled into the strands of hair clinging to his face. Fingers would rub at the sockets in desperation. “Because I caused her so much stress before we went to sleep. Casey had a brain aneurysm - I didn’t get to say goodbye. There was nothing I could do.” He had sworn for years had they not had the fight that she would still be alive, that they both would still be alive.
A labored breath left him, he shook but managed to lift his head and look over at Ehren. He knew he was a mess but it sort of felt like a relief putting everything out there that had been bottled up inside for all of this time.
“I’m afraid to get close to anyone. I don’t want to hurt you, either.”
Ehren brought a hand up to move some of the hair out of Logan’s face that had been plastered on from his tears. “That’s not your fault.” He said simply, letting his hand caress Logan’s cheek. He’d never really been in this position before, it was usually always someone else comforting him. He’d take all of Logan’s pain if he could.
“You’re not going to hurt me unless you push me away.” Was Ehren’s resolve. That was what he’d been trying to do, the last few days, wasn’t it? Still, Ehren felt a kinship with Logan as he finally was honest with Ehren. “But I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” Maybe it was time to tell him what happened to him during sex. He wasn’t even sure if this was going to get that far, though he hoped it would. A thumb swiped under Logan’s eye to wipe the tears that had fallen.
Eyes were red, puffy and his face hurt from the congestion caused by the tears. He figured he probably looked a mess but that didn’t matter. Never was he one trying to impress anyone else. At least, not until now. Things had sort of changed over the past week - a landslide which had taken him by surprise and a whirlwind of unusual emotions had followed after.
“That’s all I know how to do,” he confessed. He didn’t want to, but he did want to out of instinct and fear. “But I’ll try not to.” It would come with patience, that natural want to be around another person.
Honesty he didn’t know what he was comfortable with anymore. A lot of his boundaries had been crossed, torn down, rebuilt, climbed over.
A hand would lower and he found one of Ehren’s, holding onto it as a silent signal that he wasn’t yet ready to give up on this.
There was nothing good about the way that this made Logan feel but Ehren felt like they had crossed one of the many hurdles that lay before them. “I’m patient.” He reiterated, a statement he would say over and over again so that Logan knew it.
“If I’m ever doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll stop.” He assured Logan, feeling the familiar feeling of deceit flow through him. Logan had just completely opened himself up to Ehren and he deserved to know at least some of the truth.
“I can see the future.” He said quietly, wondering if that was quiet enough for the phone not to detect. At this point he didn’t care. “It happened the first time when I was eight, I saw my mom dying in a hospital bed. When I was sixteen she died. And then I saw my father hang himself. Three years later he was dead.” It was hard to admit that to anyone, people didn’t get this information easily from Ehren but he thought Logan deserved to know.
Eyes would narrow in question - so many words threatened to spill over the threshold of his lips but he held them back. So Ehren was one of them. It explained a lot, answered a few questions prior. The first instinct was to be upset that Ehren hadn’t told him, but then Logan felt as if that was selfish. The conflict and war waged on.
“Like…the future?” He inquired in a soft voice, not for any purpose other than his throat was a bit scratchy from the rollercoaster of emotion.
That was an awful, powerful thing to be burdened with. And Ehren must have wanted to keep it to himself considering he didn’t carry a card like everyone else.
Ehren nodded his head to Logan, it must have made sense the reason why he had laughed at Logan’s comment before. “Yeah, I’m not registered because I’m afraid of what that means to people who have...power. I mean, it would be pointless because I don’t even know how to control it.” He shrugged his shoulders at Logan.
“It used to happen during my panic attacks, and a couple of times during sex.” He finally admitted. Actually the last two times he had sex, but he didn’t necessarily need to know those details.
That made sense. What was a wolf or really anyone in the grand scheme when you had a person at your fingertips who could see the future? That could be dangerous if in the wrong hands. He had more questions but he felt emotionally drained and also that inquires would seem invasive.
“Oh,” he replied. If that was the onset of the way Ehren saw the future then maybe he was safer than Logan suspected. If a vision only occurred after sex, something drastic would have to happen in custody to Ehren to spawn something relevant. He doubted anyone would go through all of that trouble but then again he wasn’t in a high powered Governmental position either.
“Makes sense.”
He shrugged his shoulders at that, worried that maybe knowing something like that had happened during sex was a turn off for Logan. “Can you see why I’m scared too?” He asked, bringing his free hand up to run his fingers through the other man's bone straight hair.
“I’m willing to give this a try with you because I like you, Logan and I don’t care how long it takes, as long as you’re by my side.” He leaned up to press a chaste kiss to Logan’s forehead before leaning back to look the other man in the eyes.
A nod would come. He could understand. Now that he knew why it seemed as if he should’ve known all along. But he was glad that each of them could lift some of the burden, and Logan wasn’t about to go spouting off about what he knew. He didn’t want anyone to know, honestly, because of the risk that he could lose Ehren like he lost Casey.
“Yes.” Leaning into that touch, those lithe digits in his hair, Logan brushed against them as he might in his other form in effort to let Ehren know silently that it was alright with him.
“I like you too. More than I should.”
His head was swimming with emotion and he felt weary with it.
Somewhere in the apartment Daisy was finding things to play with. She’d piddled a bit on the floor in the kitchen and was determined to open up a cupboard door beneath the sink, a tiny paw attempting to wedge itself into the seam where the door met the cabinet.
A smile spread across his face as the puppy made noise in the kitchen, followed by a short laugh. “Clearly. You got me a dog.” He let his thumb come down to his brow bone and stroked it across the hair there as his other fingers were still raked through his hair.
“So, lets just take this slow, and see where it takes us, yeah? I don’t want to give up on this yet.” Honestly he couldn’t really ever see himself getting over him, even Dorians rejection had packed a punch. But Ehren was different now, and maybe this time things could actually work out for him.
He glanced over in the direction of the noise, too, seeing the tiny rear end of the dog wiggling as it explored. “I did,” he replied, turning to look back at Ehren. It was a large commitment with a man he barely knew but it felt good to do something nice for someone else who might need it.
“Okay. That’s a good idea.” He hoped there wouldn’t be giving up at all. But then life was funny that way. Ehren’s fingers would be drawn up to mouth, Logan kissed over the digits. Slow seemed good.
Ehren’s smile grew wider and he leaned in to press one small chaste kiss to his lips. “You tell me when you’re ready.” He said, since it was his choice now. Ehren would wait as long as it took because for the first time in a long time, he genuinely felt like he had something special.
Standing up he walked into the kitchen to grab the puppy and carry her in his arms. “Besides, we should be on good terms for the kid.” He teased.
That kiss, as short as it was, felt more loaded. When it severed he nodded, “I don’t know if I will ever be ready, but I’m not interested in giving up.” He didn’t want to discourage Ehren.
When Ehren got up, he turned to see him go to the kitchen and bring back the dog. “Probably,” he agreed, nodding. Amusement began to creep into his expression.
Watching him he brought the dog in his arms to sit down next to him at the couch. “Please keep doing that. Your smile is like the surface of the sun.” Which didn’t really make much sense, but to Ehren it made perfect sense. He could light up a room with it.
“I think Daisy likes your smile too. Don’t you girl?” He asked the cute puppy in his arms who leaned up to lick the tip of Ehren’s nose. He didn’t really understand the islands policies on animals. Who were they going to harm?
His face felt a little warm when the compliment was paid, smile growing a bit sheepish but no less bright. “Thanks.” He was fond of the way Ehren smiled, too, the way his eyes lit up when he was excited about something.
A hand would lift and pat the small dog behind the ears, scratching gently at the fur. When Daisy moved to lick Ehren, Logan pulled back to let her.
“She probably needs to go outside or something.” He didn’t know how, it was still daytime and they risked the guards seeing her. He didn’t have any papers she could go on until nighttime.
“I’ll grab some paper from my apartment and bring it over here. It’s still too light outside, someone might see her.” He placed the little puppy down on the couch next to Logan and stood up. “I might have some leftover meat for her too, I’ll be right back.” He added and walked to the door, looking back before he walked out of Logan’s apartment.
As he got back to his apartment he opened his door and noticed a small stack of paper next to his typewriter. He’d have to get some more paper soon but for now he’d just let Logan have the rest of his. He grabbed it and some chicken he’d had the previous night out of the fridge and headed back out of his apartments to Logan’s, mindful to lock his door on the way out.
When he came back he opened the door and placed the two items down on the counter in the kitchen. Taking the stack of paper he placed it down on the floor of the kitchen so that it didn’t end up anywhere on the carpet. “That should be able to cover it for now, if she starts to squat just pick her up and put her on the paper.” It had been a long time since he’d trained a puppy but he was kind of thrilled to be doing it again.
When Daisy went down on the couch Logan looked down at her. The tiny puppy was pawing playfully at Logan’s leg, and he couldn’t help the smile she brought. Scooping the pup into his arms he waited for Ehren to come back with the paper. He’d always been a fan of canines over felines, perhaps that was why he got stuck turning into a wolf. Whatever the reason, he couldn’t deny that he liked Daisy an awful lot.
Ehren wasn’t gone for long. As the other man returned Logan moved to stand, setting the dog down next to the paper. Kneeling, he looked at the puppy as the sheets of paper were spread out. “Alright, you heard that. Bathroom is only on the paper.” The small dog made a playful noise in reply, the stub of a barely there tail wiggling excitedly.
Logan laughed softly at her. “You’re almost as bad as he is,” came the comment, a thumb would be thrown in Ehren’s direction teasingly and then Logan moved to stand up.
When Ehren came back from the kitchen he raised an eyebrow at Logan’s remark and chuckled a little. “What exactly is that supposed to mean?” He asked, finding himself sitting back down on the couch next to him, the dog wedged between them.
He gave Daisy a couple of good pets around her ears and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Are you suggesting that I don’t know where the bathroom is?” He teased. “You just said it, its on the paper ok?”
“No,” Logan replied, making a face. He smiled a little. “That you both get excited easily and it’s endearing.” He liked Daisy a lot - she was a good dog and would only get better with Ehren’s guidance.
The puppy pawed at his leg and Logan patted it.
“Oh, well, like father like daughter I guess.” He joked. He didn’t actually see the pet as if it were a child, but maybe after a while he would be able to. “Is that right Daisy?” He said to her and patted her back lightly.
“So like endearing in a sexy way or like endearing in a little nephew kind of way?” He knew what Logan meant, but it didn’t hurt to hear him explain it himself.
Dogs often were much like children in a sense - they needed to be taken care of in nearly the same way. Especially small like Daisy. She needed them as much as they seemed to need her.
“Endearing in a regular way?” Those were two different extreme dynamics. And in comparison to a puppy it was hard to tell Ehren that was attractive.
Ehren seemed to consider this for a minute and then finally nodded his head. “I’ll take that. I’m going to assume it means you think I’m cute.” He offered with a smile. He realized that he didn't expect his day to go like this. Really, he was sort of expecting to have a very uneventful day off.
Now there was a dog, and secrets exposed. There was a lot more riding on this than there had been before. He was happy though, happy that he didn’t feel so much in limbo with Logan. Things weren’t magically going to get easier but at least he knew his place. “I’m sorry you have to keep her here. If I knew this was what you were going to do I would have told you.” He looked over at Logan now. “But I really do like her.”
“I do,” he confessed. There was no longer anything to hide there with Ehren. He hadn’t expected this day to end up this way either - a confession, a dog. Nor had he expected to have to keep the puppy.
“It would’ve ruined the magic if you’d known. I’ll do the best I can to keep her safe.” The door to his place would be locked so Ehren would have to knock if he wanted to see the dog. He didn’t know what she would do when he went to work.
“Im glad. I was nervous you wouldn’t,” he explained. He knew this dog could never replace his old dog.
He smiled down at her and then back up at Logan, the joy of the puppy evident in his gaze. A tinge of red came to his cheeks at Logan’s admission and he ran his fingers through his own hair. “Well I think you’re insanely attractive.” He admitted, a smirk coming to his face.
At his admission of having nerves, Ehren glanced at his expression. He really did seem pleased at Ehren’s reaction. “And how could you not like a face like this?” He asked, pulling the little puppy into his arms to hold up in front of Logan.
He didn’t know what about him was so insanely attractive but he wouldn’t protest. He was the same as anybody else, or at least he felt that way.
“Fair enough,” Logan replied. A nod would come and he smiled at the puppy and then at Ehren. “Dogs come in a lot of types, though.”
He put her back down on the couch after a whine and then he remembered his shirt, the one with little corgis all over it. “Did you pick her out because of the shirt I had with corgi’s on it?” He asked Logan. He had so many questions as to how Logan got a dog in the first place, much less the same breed he’d noticed on Ehren’s shirt.
“I cannot believe you remember something so little like that.” He said with a bit of a chuckle, that was such a thoughtful gift that Ehren wondered how many little things he remembered like that.
Nodding, Logan confessed easily. It was the only insight he had when it came to trying to pick out a dog. He knew he wanted a female, a corgi because of Ehren’s shirt print. “Yes.” He hadn’t expected him to name her after the other dog but he was glad Ehren did.
“Why is that hard to believe?” It was expected to remember small things like that.
It’d taken a lot of effort to find the dog.
“Well.” He began, folding his hands in his lap. It was difficult to explain why that was so surprising. “It was just really thoughtful and it’s probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I guess I’m just not used to it.” He decided that sounded good.
“Anyway, this is a huge gift and I think maybe now it’s my turn to surprise you with something huge. So, be on the lookout because I just might surprise you too.” He said with a dramatic wink.
Remembering small things wasn’t something which was supposed to be a chore; it was human nature to recall those trivial things about someone else. It was part of what made someone who they are. Letting them know you valued their time enough to listen to them.
“Oh,” he replied, nodding. Ehren seemed to be pretty popular, Logan had seen the other man with friends. But a dog was the nicest thing anyone had done? Maybe it was. It definitely was a big deal.
“Surprise me? You don’t have to do that.” He shook his head at Ehren but didn’t protest much more.
He shook his head at Logan, determined to do exactly as he said. He already had an idea forming in his head and it’d be easy to find a reason to get into Logan’s apartment, what with sharing a dog and everything. “It’s happening whether you like it or not.”
His friends had done some good things for him but this was above and beyond what any of them were even capable of. Still, Ehren knew that Logan deserved to have a nice surprise too. “So, what are we going to do about her?” He said gesturing to the dog. “I can watch her while you’re at work.” He offered.
A hard sigh would erupt but he nodded regardless. There was no talking Ehren out of it, he could tell by the look on his face so he let it go.
“What about when we’re both at work?” He inquired. There would be times when both of them would be away. They didn't have the luxury of making their own schedules and shirking work was out of the question.
“And she would go to your place when you watch her? I can bring her to you before and come and get her after if you want.”
Ehren cringed when he thought about that, knowing that his apartment was probably off limits. He didn’t want to have to say it, but it was true. “I can have Dani watch her when we’re at work, she would love her.” He said, patting her little head.
“I told you, I can’t keep her in my apartment. She’d be safer staying here. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to watch after her. If you don’t want that responsibility anymore, I’ll figure something out.” Or if he didn’t want to see Ehren anymore, which was a real possibility still.
Another huff. Logan got up and wandered over to a small shelf where he kept a few things. A small key was procured from a stack of useless things and when he returned to the couch it was offered to Ehren. “Here. It’s the spare. You can watch her here.” While he didn’t mind Dani watching the dog he didn’t want strangers in his apartment. They’d figure something out if they both ended up having to work.
Sitting down next to Ehren, his eyebrows arched. “Why wouldn’t I want to watch her? I told you that I did.” The question wasn’t harsh, just curious.
He couldn’t say that he was expecting a spare key but it fit in well with his plan. “Ok.” He replied to the key, he tried not to think of the implications that could put on the two of them. Ehren didn’t necessarily want that kind of power but he didn’t really think Logan was the type of person who would be concerned about Ehren abusing it.
A shrug replied to his question before he thought of something actually true to say. “I don’t know, anything could happen between us and I just didn’t know…” oh god, he was planning for eventualities in his head. What he meant to say is that he didn’t know if they’d even get together and felt bad if Logan had that responsibility but this seemed like the wrong thing to say. This self-deprecation. “Ignore me please, I think maybe I just need to shut my mouth sometimes.”
A lot of trust came with that little strip of metal, but he had also just born his soul out on the other man and so he felt like a small gesture like this one between them wouldn’t be misused. This was to ensure that the dog they now seemed to be parents in caring for would be safe and well nurtured.
Listening, he waited as Ehren stumbled over his words. He didn’t offer the catty remark sitting on the edge of his tongue for fear of it backfiring (Why wouldn’t it?) and opted instead for something easier to handle. “I can’t tell the future like you can, who knows what’ll happen, all we can do is stay optimistic.”
He hoped Ehren didn’t just kiss everyone who did something nice to him and expect nothing to happen after that. It was an odd way to look at something.
The truth was that he didn’t even know how to do it anymore. He used to be able to trigger his visions with panic attacks but now he had no idea where to begin. He supposed he’d come to figure that out later, but the idea of not knowing how to access it bugged him. “Well, I promise I won’t go snooping into either our futures.” He offered, in case Logan was worried about that.
The only reason Ehren felt the need to leave the future open ended was because he knew planning ahead was just going to put a strain on something already delicate. “Honestly, I don’t even like it when I see mine. It’s just so depressing.” And thankfully it didn’t happen too often.
“Why would your future be depressing?” That sounded awful but then how could every moment of a future not have some grain of positivity? Logan wouldn’t question further because he lacked the experience to know exactly what to ask.
Was it immediate future? Years from now? Logan found it a bit unsettling but not necessarily entirely believable. He would have to see what the future held for both of them and find out for himself.
He had never really discussed this with anyone, at least not in this much detail. “Well, I mean, the future is an infinite amount of possibilities. You can pick and choose your choices and each time it leads you on a different path. I see a version that is going in a specific way. If one thing changes it creates this other reality that wasn’t there before:” Wow, Ehren was a huge dork who probably read way more science fiction than he should.
He sighed a little as he was having a hard time explaining it. “I don’t really see insignificant moments just either really good or really bad. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a version of my future where things go well for me.” He waited a long time for something like that before he resigned himself to never knowing if he’d be happy.
As the explanation came Logan listened, doing his best to understand what Ehren was laying out. It made sense when it was put out like that and he nodded to say he understood.
“Oh, I see,” he murmured. He wished it was different for Ehren, that he could have a more positive outlook, something to look forward to in the future that wasn’t doom and gloom.
He realized this was probably not something Logan wanted to hear about. They were getting to know each other and this was just going to turn him off of Ehren. “Anyway, who cares about that stuff. We make our own future right?” At least he hoped that was the case.
“And I think I’ve decided that my future is going to be traveling the world, for the rest of my life.” And he’d do everything in his power to make that the truth.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hear about the bad times - that was part of being there for someone else regardless of the highs or the lows - but right now he wanted Ehren to think of happier things. To be happier, to smile and laugh. “We do,” he agreed. “Your happiness should always matter.”
Nodding at Ehren, he wished the other man the best. “I hope that works out for you.” His future would hopefully be calmer and humbler than that. He wouldn’t put eggs into a basket he didn’t have and expect them to hatch golden geese.
Ehren looked over at Logan, he seemed to be getting quieter as they spoke. Maybe he needed some time alone. “I should probably get back to my apartment, I don’t want to take up your whole day.” Yes he did, a thousand times yes but they had to remain somewhat apart so that things didn’t go too fast.
“Do you maybe want to get dinner sometime this week?” He asked, hopeful that it was ok if not a completely tame first date.
It was probably for the best that he let Ehren get on with the remainder of the day. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the company, he did, but he wasn’t used to hosting someone for so long and it was beginning to wear on the fringes of his mind. He was sure he’d get used to it again but that would come with a bit of time.
“Sure.” The response was given to both statements - that the day was concluding and also that he wanted to get dinner this week. Figuring that Ehren would let him know he would keep the evenings open (not that they weren’t already.)
“Great.” He said with a small smile, giving Daisy a little pat on the head. He wished more than anything he could take her back to his apartment with him but he just couldn’t risk it, not with his position. As he stood he looked back down at Logan who seemed more than a little tired after this day. He wished he’d gone into psychology now, something where he might be able to help the other man, but it was too late now. Still, Logan was worth it.
“I promise I’ll text this time.” He offered as he made his way to the door. He turned around as he thought of something. “What kind of food do you like?” He’d have to pick a restaurant, no use picking something Logan wouldn’t like.
Logan scooped the small canine up into strong, tender arms, and he moved to stand up. It felt good to get a bit of blood flowing. Daisy was determined to lick his face and no matter what Logan did he couldn’t seem to push her too far away. A small laugh would come and eyes would drift to Ehren. “Good. Easier to prepare that way.”
While he didn’t mind a random check in he preferred to have enough time to look presentable, especially when he had a reason to do so.
The question was posed and Logan shrugged. “Big fan of barbecue but you can’t really get that here. I trust you.”
A smile came to his face, a nugget to save later. “Cool, I’ll text you.” He said and let himself out of Logan’s apartment. Things hadn’t exactly gone as Ehren had thought but he felt better about everything as soon as Logan was honest with him. How long had he been carrying that around on his shoulder. Ehren was glad to be the person he could say it to.