Characters: April & Phobia Setting: Phobia’s Summary: February 22, 2018 Rating: low
Since the party seemed like it was a success, April had been in a pretty good mood. She was excited about the idea of learning to dance with Rose, and about potentially painting her place. Other than going to get their IDs, she tried not to be too much of a pest to Phobia. He probably had more important things to do than hang out with her anyway. Still, more than a week had passed and she kind of missed him, so April showed up at his door and knocked, waiting for an answer.
Phobia was off babysitting duty for now. He was probably supposed to go home and relax and not overthink the kidlet. Except he wanted to get into the Facility. He wanted to sneak in and find the other kids and figure out how to go in. He wanted to do it now. He could go in. No one would know but Remy wanted him to wait. It was safer. Blah blah blah. Not safer for the kids.
When Phobia heard the knock, he hoped it was Remy telling him it was time to move out. Except he didn’t sense ants. He sensed doctors and medical things. Definitely not Remy. He grabbed his hoodie and tugged it on over his head before opening the door. He stepped aside to let April in.
“Hey. How are you?” he asked.
“Hi!” April offered her usual bright smile and a wave and stepped inside. Her smile faded quickly though and she tilted her head as she studied him. “What’s wrong? Are you busy? Did I interrupt?”
Kidlet was a secret. He needed to act like everything was fine. Easier said than done, perhaps. He tugged on his sleeves and shook his head, “Nothing is wrong. I’m just tired. Come on. What’s up?” That was normal enough, wasn’t it?
Frowning, April wasn’t buying it. “Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? You’re hiding.” In his hoodie, she meant. Sure, he wore them all the time, she’d noticed, but it seemed like he was using it to hide from her. She did that sometimes too, when she was scared. But why would he be scared?
He tugged on his sleeves again and shook his head, “No, April, I’m not mad at you. I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well.” He thought about adding that if he didn’t sleep well, he lost control of his abilities but that was too many words. It was also true, however. Which made even more sense for him to move now into the Facility. Even if he lost control, no one would think twice to shadows. It would just take a little longer to come back to the Faction.
Her frown didn’t change, but she took his word for it. She had no reason not to believe him, even if it still seemed weird. “Why are you not sleeping good? Did you try warm milk, sometimes that helps? I have a stuffed animal you can borrow to help you sleep, if you want.” Not sleeping was never fun, she wanted to help if she could.
He couldn’t help but smile. Of course April would offer a stuffed animal. He lead her to the living room, sitting down on the couch. He pulled his knees up, pulling his sweater over his legs, cocooning himself. He motioned for April to sit with him.
“I don’t know,” Phobia said, “It happens sometimes,” he looked at her, “You drink warm milk?”
“Is it bad dreams? Or something you’re worried about? That’s usually why I can’t sleep.” Moving to sit with him, she kept her frown. He was hiding so much and she didn’t like it, it felt like something was wrong and she wanted to help fix it. “Sometimes I drink it. I like chocolate milk better but I don’t think that’s used for sleeping.”
“It’s nothing in particular,” Phobia said, shaking his head, “It… it happens sometimes. Here. This island.” He didn’t want to talk about that.
“You like warm milk? It tastes weird and grows a skin if it gets too hot,” Phobia said. He nodded, “Chocolate milk is good for everything.”
April made a face. She didn’t know that happened to warm milk, and now she didn’t think she would like it anymore after finding out. “I can go get you some candy to help make you feel better. OH! Rose told me about cupcakes in the marketplace, we can go get cupcakes. If you want?”
“Cupcakes?” Phobia asked, confused for a moment then shook his head, “I’m good. Really. Don’t worry about me. How have you been?” Maybe he could get her to talk about herself and be less worried about him. Maybe he should get his legs out of his hoodie.
Reluctantly, April let the topic change for now. She still studied him with worry. “I’ve been good! I’m so happy people liked that party, so that still makes me happy even though it was a while ago now. And I might get to dance soon with Rose, and she is going to give me leftover paints so I can paint so things feel happy. Except now, now it feels happy and worried.”
“I think there are details missing here,” Phobia said, drawing his legs out from his hoodie and leaning back, “Who is Rose? And paint? And she knows how to dance? And don’t be worried.”
April shook her head. “Sorry, I just got excited, I forgot to explain. Rose came to the party, she’s new here. She said she used to be a dancer and she said she can help teach me. She said she knows ballet. And she painted her place pretty colors and said I can have her extra paint to paint mine. Except I don’t know how to paint, but I think it’s easy, right?”
That made a lot more sense. He nodded as she spoke and said, “Hey, that’s good. I bet she can make a playlist of music for you to listen to too. And painting? Like, hey I’m painting on paper? Or walls? Because both seem… I don’t know. I’ve never done either.”
April smiled, glad that she was clearer this time around. “Maybe, I didn’t ask her that. But I still want to listen to the music you picked too.” She wanted to ask him if he would help her paint, but April was still unsure about what was going on with Phobia and she didn’t want to be a pest. So she just nodded a little, biting on her lower lip. “Do you like paint?”
Phobia shrugged at her question, “I’ve never painted walls before and I tried the artsty kind in high school and totally sucked at it. Stick figures is where my artist talents lay. So probably not? I don’t know. If you paint your walls, what are you going to do? Just one colour or?”
April watched him when he spoke and then shrugged, looking down at her hands. “I don’t know. I have to see what colors she has. She said she painted rainbows and is getting glitter but I don’t think I know how to do all that and I don’t want to mess it up. So maybe just one color? I didn’t know we could do things like that. It’s nice that we can make things our own.” Maybe it meant more to April than others, but she thought it was pretty special.
“Maybe Rose can help you? Show you want she did? Or give you ideas of what to do?” Phobia suggested. It would be helpful, wouldn’t it? To get ideas or something? He wondered if he ever painted his room what colour he would do it: black. Then he could literally hide in the walls. That sounded like a wonderful idea.
“Maybe. Or maybe you can help me? If you don’t want to, I understand.” April was beginning to wonder if something she said or did at the party, or when they went to go get their IDs was wrong and she didn’t realize and now Phobia didn’t like her anymore.
“I can help but I have no idea what I’m doing either,” Phobia said, “So if you don’t mind two people not having a clue,” he shrugged. Sure. He could try? Or think of a way to make a black wall or something?
“Really?” April brightened a little, glad that he seemed to want to help. “That’s okay, we can learn together.” What was the worst that could happen, it was just paint. Paint couldn’t hurt anyone, right?
“Okay,” Phobia agreed with a nod. He had no idea if him learning to paint was a good idea or not. Maybe someone could be afraid of a famous artist? Could that help? One with both ears? “When do you start your dance lessons?”
April shrugged. “Soon, I hope. I didn’t go ask yet because I got all excited and I didn’t want to bother her too much yet and I’m a little afraid that maybe I will be bad at dancing and that would be disappointing and maybe Rose won’t want to teach me if I am bad and… and.” April stopped her rambling and just shrugged again.
“If she won’t teach you because you are bad then she’s not a good friend and she’s a terrible teacher,” Phobia said with a shrug again, “Let me know how it goes. I’d be curious to hear.” He didn’t think April would be bad. Muscle memory was a thing, wasn’t it?
April shook her head quickly. “I don’t think Rose is a bad friend, she seemed super nice and I think she wants to help. I just don’t want to be bad and let her down. Or let you down.” Or let herself down, but she didn’t want to say that out loud.
“Let me down?” Phobia asked. He looked at her, “Why are you worried about that?” He didn’t think he was important enough to be worried over like that. He gave himself a mental shake, “I don’t think you need to worry about being bad. At anything.”
April thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. “Because you are my friend and you found my file and that I can dance so if I can’t dance anymore then it’s like a lie except I didn’t tell it but it’s still wrong and then that’s bad and letting you down.” April was 1000% sure that she was bad at some things, everyone couldn’t be good at everything.
“It’s not a lie, April,” Phobia said, “We all change, grow up. Sometimes we are good at things then grow out of it. So it’s not wrong or letting anyone down. It’s just reality.” He wasn’t going to come up with any examples. He didn’t want to think about that.
Frowning again, April wasn’t so sure. Didn’t growing up mean getting better at things, different things? She wasn’t sure she was better at anything before, and obviously, was afraid she was only worse now. Not remembering your life didn’t seem like growing up or being better. At all. “If you say so.”
“You don’t think so?” Phobia asked, glancing to April. He wasn’t sure what else to add to that. He wondered if he had improved or not improved on things. He didn’t want to think about when he was a kid. Just, no.
April just shrugged and went back to studying Phobia and worrying. Then she remembered something and brightened. “Hey, let’s listen to music!” He liked music, this would be good.
Phobia frowned. She didn’t really answer his question. He wouldn’t push. Besides, what could he really say? Nothing more than he already had. So he shrugged in agreement and asked, “What are you in the mood for?” His phone was in his room. He’d have to go get it. Or bring her there.
April smiled, glad that he wanted to listen to music too. “I want to hear your favorite songs.” Maybe that would help cheer him up? Maybe, that’s what it seemed like favorite songs were for, but if it was a sad song, maybe it wouldn’t work.
Phobia stood up and looked to April, “Come on.” He lead her to his room, hoping his room didn’t smell too much like boy. It wasn’t neat at all. There were clothing on the floor. His bed wasn’t made. The blinds were shut. The walls were the standard beige. He kicked a pair of jeans aside and looked back to her, “Sorry. I didn’t think about how messy it was.” He looked for his phone, which was under his pillow and sat on the bed.
“Favourite songs? You sure?” he asked.
April followed along like a little puppy, just happy to be invited and not caring about the mess. Sitting on the edge of the bed beside him, she looked around and then back to him with a smile and a nod. “Yes, I want to hear the songs you like.”
Phobia scrolled through his phone and put on a song by Asking Alexandria. He looked to April and said, “I’ve been listening to it a lot lately. Not something you can really dance to, sorry.” It was loud and he suspected she wouldn’t like it. It was okay if she didn’t.
April stayed quiet as she listened to the song, waiting until it was over and a moment of quiet had passed. “I think you’re wrong. You can dance to anything, if you want to. It’s all just different kind of dancing, right?” April wasn’t really sure how or why she knew that, but she felt confident saying it, which didn’t happen too often. “Why do you like that song?”
Phobia looked to April and asked, “Want to try to dance to that song? That isn’t just moshing?” Wait. Would she know what moshing is? Did he even know how to explain it? He could probably find a video. He shrugged at her question, “I like the loudness. The beat. The noise.”
April laughed a little and nodded. She would like to try to dance to the song, even if she wasn’t sure she knew how. “What’s moshing? Is that a kind of dancing?” Leaning back on her hands, she thought about the song again and then what he liked about it, nodding a little with a smile. “It’s not noise. It’s music. And it wouldn’t be loud if you didn’t play it loud.” But she understood what he meant.
Phobia found a video of moshing and said, “I don’t really know how to explain it except pushing and shoving and,” he paused. Maybe violence? He showed her the video, “That’s moshing.” He smiled small when she said it wouldn’t be loud if he didn’t play it that way, “I like it loud.”
April watched the video curiously. It didn’t seem like moshing required any sort of training or specific steps. Just lots of jumping and bumping into each other. But the people in the video seemed to enjoy it, so April just smiled a little. She thought she might be worried about getting trampled in all that moshing. “But any music can be loud. And I still think you can dance to it, that dancing and other dancing. Anything…” She had to take a minute to think of a word. “Anything powerful would fit.”
Phobia shrugged again and said, “I suppose so. I’d trust your opinion on dancing over mine. I know nothing about dance.” He knew nothing about music either, except he knew what he liked to listen to. He knew what he used to listen to as well. It evolved. Or something.
April shrugged some, watching him before looking down at her hands in her lap. “Do you feel better now? After listening to the music you like? We can listen to some more, if you want? Or I can go and stop bothering you?” She didn’t really want to leave, but if she wasn’t helping she certainly didn’t want to make things worse.
“You aren’t bothering me,” Phobia said, “Don’t worry about that. I’d let you know if you were,” Phobia thought for a moment, “Did you want to watch a movie? We can go out in the living room, steal some blankets and make popcorn or something?”
Biting her lower lip with a smile, April nodded eagerly. “I would like that a lot. What kind of movie do you want to watch? What is your favorite movie?”
Phobia, admittedly, did not watch a lot of movies. He knew there were some and they had Netflix. His time waster of choice was just vegging out to music so that probably didn’t think. He got up and said, “I don’t watch a lot of movies, actually. We can probably turn on Netflix? I’m sure we can find something we’d both like.”
Standing with him, she followed along back out to the living room. “Sometimes it’s hard for me to pay attention to a whole movie, but I keep trying. Maybe I just haven’t found one I like yet?”
“What movies have you tried?” Phobia asked. He headed to the kitchen to find the microwave popcorn. He opened the fridge and looked to April, “Soda? Water? Juice? Other?” Not that he was sure what other was but he could still try.
April continued to follow along behind him, frowning a little at herself before shrugging. “I don’t remember. But not because I forgot, because I don’t think I paid good attention. One was funny, I think, or it was supposed to be, but I don’t think I got it.” At the question of a drink, she shrugged. “Water, please.”
Phobia grabbed them both water and set the popcorn to the microwave, hoping he didn’t overpop it this time. He looked to her, thinking for a moment and then said, “I think I know something you’d like.” He grabbed bowls and went to the living room, setting up the blankets and turning the TV. He went back to the kitchen, poured the (unburnt) popcorn to the bowls, handed April hers and headed back. He put his blanket over his head, wearing it almost like a cloak. He put on Zootopia and looked back at her. Ta-da? Following his lead, April joined Phobia on the couch, happily accepting the popcorn and water and blanket. She got comfortable, but didn’t hide under the blanket like he did. When the movie started, she brightened with a smile and looked to him. “Is this a grown up movie or for kids?” Not that she cared either way, she was just curious.
“Technically kids but there are a lot of adults who like it so both,” Phobia answered. He wondered if she minded he put on a kid movie. It wasn’t that he thought she was a kid, he just thought she might like it better.
“Oh. Okay.” Smiling, she cuddled and ate some of the popcorn while watching the movie. “What do you think about me?” She hesitated for a moment before trying to be more clear. “Sometimes people think I am just like a kid. I don’t know if that’s bad though. Do you think I am like a kid?”
Phobia paused the movie and looked at April. He set his uneaten bowl of popcorn down too, “I don’t think you are like a kid. I just thought you’d enjoy it. People said it was cute and, I don’t know. I thought you’d like something cute.” He tugged his blanket around him.
Turning her full attention to him, April blinked. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re right, I do like it, so far. It just made me think about how other people treat me. But you don’t do that. So I asked. I’m sorry.” He was hiding again and that made her frown.
“Don’t be sorry,” Phobia said. He was quiet for a moment, “I guess I don’t treat you like others but… I guess… I don’t know. You’re my friend, April. I just… I don’t know.” He had no idea what he was saying except he wasn’t like everyone else. He was just him.
April smiled and playfully tossed a piece of popcorn at him. “I am glad I’m your friend. You are a very good friend to me and I am happy to know you.”
Phobia batted at the popcorn. It landed on his blanket. He offered a small smile, “I’m happy to know you too. Movie? Or want something else?”
April shrugged. “It's up to you. I would like to watch the movie, but I also like just hanging out with you and talking. If you want.” She had the feeling he didn’t really want to chat, so she wouldn’t push it.
“Movie first? Then we can talk? If you want?” Phobia proposed. Best of both worlds maybe? He hoped anyway.
“Okay.” April smiled, liking that idea. It would be nice to sit and watch a movie, she just hoped she could stay quiet and not ask too many questions or get too distracted. She didn’t want to ruin the movie for Phobia.