Who: Zayne and Thursday What: Support Group talk When: Thursday, January 11 Where: Zayne’s
Zayne didn’t waste any time to get starting on the support group. He messaged both Thursday and Phobia. Phobia had replied that he wasn’t able to meet right away but if there was something that was needed to be done, let him know. Zayne wasn’t entirely sure what that meant and wasn’t entirely sure if that meant Phobia was shrugging off volunteering. Then again, what he had seen of the younger man, Phobia wasn’t really people friendly. Maybe Phobia knew what he was doing. Either way, Zayne wasn’t going to mention that to Remy. He didn’t want Phobia to get in trouble for slacking off, if that was what he was doing.
They agreed to meet at Zayne’s. Zayne turned on the coffee maker, assuming they would both need coffee. He, at least, wanted it. He walked around his home. He needed to figure out what to bring with him. Some things should stay here. He walked to this bedroom and looked at his keyboard. That was coming. That had to come with him. He sat down at the bench and pressed his fingers to the keys lightly. It had been a really long time since he played. Maybe he could again. Remy knew his secret. Thursday knew his secret. He could play sometimes again, couldn’t he?
Zayne debated turning the keyboard on when he heard a knock on the door. Thursday. Probably. He got up and hurried to the front door, opening it up and letting the other man in. He smiled to him and said, “Hey. Come in. How are you?”
---
Thursday had been struggling since he was attacked. He wasn’t sleeping because his sleep was plagued with nightmares but he was so depressed that he was barely getting out of bed. Going to the meeting had been a huge feat for him and the only thing that made him actually go was the need to feel useful and to remind himself that he wasn’t worthless.
When Zayne had asked him to meet about the support group Thursday almost declined but this was important. He needed to be there if only to help other people. So he dragged himself out of bed and got dressed and headed over to Zayne’s.
Thursday gave him as good a smile as he could manage when Zayne opened the door. “Hey.” He said softly. “Do I smell coffee?”
---
“Always,” Zayne said, with a laugh, “I almost always have coffee here. Come in. Take a seat? I’ll go grab mugs.” He let Thursday make himself at home and he headed to the kitchen to fix them their coffee. He brought the mug out to Thursday and sat down on the couch.
“How have you been?” Zayne asked. He didn’t want to jump into the serious talk right away, “How is your arms?”
---
“A man after my heart.” Thursday chuckled softly then stepped in. He took a seat in the corner of the couch and pulled his knees up, resting his cheek on one of them. Closing his eyes he just tried to relax while he waited for Zayne to return.
When he came back and spoke to him Thursday opened his eyes and lifted his head. Accepting the mug he took a sip then looked over at Zayne. “This one is really good.” He wiggled the healed one. “Just dealing with the cast on this one.” He held up the other. “I have a couple more weeks but it’s not too bad. I’m managing pretty well.” Except for the fact that they wouldn't let him go back to work with it.
---
Zayne put his coffee cup down and moved closer to Thursday. He paused for a moment then put his arm around Thursday and rested his head against him.
“Let me help with that?” Zayne offered, “I know it’s only a few more weeks but a few weeks less is still good.” He wondered if healing Thursday too fast if it would bring too much attention. It had to point to a healer, right? Still Thursday was more important than attention. “How are you doing otherwise? You seem… sad?”
---
When Zayne put his arm around Thursday he closed his eyes and leaned into him, relaxing a little. It felt good. Thursday always responded to kind touches and embraces almost as if he were starving for affection.
“I don’t want to draw too much attention to it.” Thursday spoke softly. “I already got questions about the other one so it’s probably best if I just deal with it. You’ve already done so much and that means a lot. Thank you.” At Zayne’s question about him seeming sad Thursday bit his lip. “I guess you could say that.” He shrugged slightly. “I’m just … not dealing well since …” He shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”
---
Zayne could understand not wanting to bring attention it. He snuggled against Thursday, not planning to move while they sat here. He reached, with his other hand, to take Thursday’s free hand and held it.
“Do you want to talk to me about it?” Zayne asked softly. He wanted to be there for Thursday but he also knew if Thursday wasn’t ready to talk, it wouldn’t do good to push. He squeezed Thursday lightly and said, “I’m here if you want.”
---
Thursday welcomed the closeness. He easily snuggled against Zayne and squeezed his hand when he held it. It felt really good and comforting. He mentally thanked Zayne for that.
“It just … being helpless, and broken … it brought back so much of what I survived before coming here. What I survived on the streets and in prison. It just….I was beginning to think that I was different. That my life was different. And now ….” He shook his head and squeezed his eyes to hold back tears. “I’m reminded that it’s not any different. I’m still that piece of trash to be used and abused by whomever wants to.” Thursday sighed softly when he finished speaking. He hadn’t meant to gush. “I’m sorry. That just all came out.”
---
Zayne kissed the top of Thursday’s head, his heart breaking for Thursday. He wished he could do something more than this but this was all he could do and he’d be there for Thursday.
“Don’t be sorry,” Zayne said softly, “You are not trash and no one is allowed to do what they want.” He knew that Thursday knew that. He kissed the top of Thursday’s head again, “Anything I say, I know you know but it’s true. Your life is different and you are wonderful.”
---
“It still helps to hear it sometimes.” Thursday said softly. “And poor Matty has to deal with me every day. I try not to dump everything on him constantly. He’s too wonderful for words for putting up with me.” Leaning over he kissed Zayne gently. “Thank you. For listening and not just rolling your eyes at me or whatever. It means a lot.”
—-
“He’s your friend. I’m sure he doesn’t mind being there for you. Or reminding you that you are a wonderful person,” Zayne said softly, “And I don’t mind either. I’ll tell you every day if that helps.” He shifted so he could touch Thursday’s cheek, “What happened on New Years? Had nothing to do with you and no reflection of who you are.” A flash of anger ran through Zayne. Thursday didn’t deserve this and the government didn’t care the damage they did.
---
Thursday leaned into the touch as Zayne touched his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment then nodded and took a slow breath. Opening his eyes again he gave him a small smile. “Thank you.” He said softly. Leaning in he hugged Zayne tightly before pulling back and composing himself. “We should probably stop talking about me and focus on the support group.”
---
“I will not say we should stop talking about you. I’m always an ear if you need it,” Zayne promised but he also understood the desire to want to focus on something. He nodded and reached for his coffee. He took a sip and said, “I was thinking it would probably be relatively informal? Held at the coffee shop? We’ll just let people talk? What were your thoughts?”
---
Thursday kissed Zayne’s cheek. “Thank you, Zayne. That means a lot.” He smiled and it wasn’t big but it was genuine. He was already feeling a little better being here with Zayne. He reached for his own coffee and took a drink before holding the cup with both hands. The warmth was wonderful. “That sounds like a good idea. We can have coffee and snacks. The important part will be to try to make people as comfortable as possible.”
---
Zayne nodded and said, “We should have regular meetings. Weekly, maybe? Or do you think we need more? Or weekly to start?” Zayne frowned slightly and said, “I feel… like this is important. Not just for the cause but to actually help people and help them feel safe and secure again. I’m nervous that I have no idea what I’m doing.” He said him because maybe Thursday was much better equipped to deal with people.Or to be supportive. What did Zayne know about any of this? He looked to Thursday, “I’m glad we are doing this together.”
---
Thursday nodded as Zayne spoke. “Weekly sounds like a good idea to start. Depending on who shows up and how they feel we can always talk to the group and see what they think. I believe it will be important to make sure everyone feels like that have a voice, that they can speak up or give input. It’s huge.” He smiled at Zayne. “I don’t think this is anything that needs to be anything formal so there’s nothing TO no. We’re just helping a group get together to support each other.” He bumped his shoulder against Zayne’s. “Me too.”
---
“Exactly,” Zayne said with a nod, “I want everyone to feel like they have a voice. Especially as of late? We keep losing our voices and…” he trailed off and shook his head, “If people start talking about how confused they were or are about finding their abilities, how they felt when they first discovered it, can you… I don’t know, take over that part? I… if I’m still pretending that I don’t know, I don’t know if people will take me seriously if I try to sympathize. If that makes sense?” Zayne smiled softly and turned and hugged Thursday. He was really glad that he and Thursday became friends.
---
Thursday tilted his head slightly as Zayne spoke. He frowned slightly but then slowly nodded. “I don’t know if anyone would question you but yeah, I can handle that. There’s no point in making things more difficult or putting you on the spot.” Thursday hugged him back easily than looked at him. “I um .. I’m not sure if you know about my past. But um … I was in prison for murder.”
---
“I may be being paranoid, I know,” Zayne said, “I just… maybe it’s me. Or maybe… I had a conversation with someone not that long ago that sort of turned into a lecture about how I should go find out what my abilities where and I could be putting people in danger. I don’t want others to think that way too.” Maybe he was giving someone else too much credit but he still thought about it.
Zayne had not expected Thursday to say that. He knew Thursday said he had been in prison but murder? Thursday did not seem capable of it, “Can I ask what happened?”
---
“I think around here paranoia is justified and useful.” Thursday said softly then wrinkled up his face at Zayne’s comment. “That’s kind of shitty of them. Of course you’re going to do what you can to learn what you have and how to be safe. You didn’t need people being assholes about it. I get what you’re saying. So we’ll keep you out of anything like that.” He nodded as if making it final.
Thursday took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I uh .. I was a prostitute for a while. I was under a pimp who had other workers though I was the only guy. I um … I walked in on him beating one of the girls. He was very obviously not stopping so instead of letting him kill her I grabbed a knife and stopped him.” He shrugged.
---
“She wasn’t wrong. If I didn’t know my ability and what if it was a dangerous one? Like I could explode things? Wouldn’t it be better to know than to accidentally learn and hurt someone?” Zayne said, “I understood what she meant. Except I don’t think I can accidentally heal someone but she didn’t know that.” He reached and gave Thursday another hug, “Thank you.” He was glad that Thursday understood. A part of him wondered if he ought to confess he did know but one reason why it was a secret was to keep it from the government.
Zayne was quiet as Thursday spoke, his heart breaking for Thursday. He put his coffee down and reached over, hugging Thursday again. He didn’t let go. Thursday was too good of a soul to have gone through what he had. He deserved the world. He didn’t know what to say. Nothing he could would be adequate. So he hugged him.
---
Thursday nodded as he spoke. “Yes. But it’s none of her business, either. She doesn’t know what you've been through. She doesn’t know how you feel or what you may or may not know about your power. It’s your body and your choice.” Thursday sighed softly. He shouldn't have gotten as worked up as he was feeling. He hugged Zayne back and nodded.
Thursday was afraid of what Zayne would think when he knew the truth. He took the hug as a good thing and returned it, holding on tightly.
---
Zayne could hear the fire in his voice and he appreciated it. He sighed softly and said, “I know you are right. I also know she may not be the only one to think that,” he paused then added, “It’s one thing I’m working on; stop caring so much about what other people think.”
He held Thursday close and said, “I feel anything I say here is not enough but what you did… I think it makes you a better person, to stand up for another. You are wonderful, Thursday.”
---
“It’s a lot easier said than done.” Thursday said softly. “What I’ve learned is that you need to take what they say. Evaluate it for yourself and take from it what is valuable. And drop the rest.” Thursday shrugged. “At least that’s what I try to do.”
Thursday closed his eyes as he held onto him. “Thank you.” Thursday said softly. “I … survived. That’s really all I can say.”
---
Funny enough, his mother used to say that too when Zayne saw the reviewer’s responses or when he got bad feedback from social media. She would sit with him, talk to him, go over where he needed to improve and what to let go. It was one of the things he missed about his mother. It was one of those things he felt was betrayed when he was a product had become bigger than him as a person.
Zayne nodded and agreed, “Definitely harder to do than to say.” He still wasn’t letting go of Thursday. He didn’t see the need to. He definitely didn’t have the want to. It was comforting for both of them.
“And you are such an amazing person,” Zayne said softly. “Can I ask you something? Can I ask how and why you got involved with the Faction?”
---
Thursday was more than happy to stay curled up with Zayne. It felt really good. The only time he had feel like he could actually breathe the last few weeks was when he was curled up with Matty. This was having the same effect and he appreciated it immensely. He’d find a way to thank Zayne somehow.
“Thank you.” Thursday whispered then smiled. “It was kind of an accident. I ran into Remy at work. We both work at The Facility. We ended up having lunch together and just kind of got talking. I was frustrated about some recent shit that had gone down. I um .. I get harassed a lot. Most of the guards know my record. I was venting to him a bit and he brought me in.”
---
Get? Zayne hoped Thursday wasn’t still harassed. He didn’t deserve it. He squeezed Thursday lightly, not letting go still. Thursday deserved a lot more and Zayne wished he could give it to him.
“I’m glad he pulled you in,” Zayne said. He wasn’t sure what else he could say to follow that up. He was glad that Remy did and they seemed better for it.
---
“Me too.” Thursday smiled. “It’s actually been the best thing. It’s given me … purpose. For lack of a better term. Up until then the only thing I had was Matty. And he’s amazing and I wouldn't want to ever let him down. But it gives me … hope. Something to fight for. Something to work for. And it was what I needed.” He smiled and loosened his hold but stayed close to Zayne. “So you and Remy. You’re pretty close?”
---
Zayne smiled and nodded, “I get that. The hope and something to fight for. I hope we can make a difference.” He hoped they would make a noticeable different now. He wanted everyone to have hope.
The mention of Remy did bring a bigger smile to Zayne’s face. He couldn’t help it. He nodded and said, “Yeah. We are living together now. Which is pretty fast, I guess, but it feels right.”
---
“I know we’ll make a difference. The question is when. But we have to keep trying. Keep pushing and keep getting more people involved. But we’ll get there.” Thursday truly believed it and it was obvious on his face. Hope was the one thing he had clung to most of his life.
At Zayne’s big smile Thursday grinned as well. “That is wonderful! I’m so happy for you. And only you and Remy can judge the speed. If you’re both happy about it that’s all that matters.”
---
“We will get there,” Zayne repeated because he believed it too. Thursday had been at this longer than he had been and if he had hope, it just mean there was hope. They would make a difference. Things would change. They would.
“I know I am happy,” Zayne said, ducking his head a little, “But I’ll spare you from gushing too hard. I just feel very lucky. We’ll go with that.”
---
“I don’t mind if you gush. Just so you know.” Thursday grinned at him. “I’m glad you have each other. One thing I’ve learned is that we need each other. We need the people connections. As shitty as this place is we all need to find small bits of happiness. It’s what keeps us going. It’s what keeps us reaching for that hope. Once you lose that ….” He shrugged. “Sorry I’m bringing the conversation down.”
---
“I can’t promise if I start, I will stop,” Zayne warned with a laugh. He nodded, “We do need the people connections,” he shook his head, “You aren’t bringing the conversation down. It’s true. If we lose that… if we are alone…” he paused, “When I was finally on my own, that was one of the hardest things I struggled with, being on my own and not being to connect with other people, because I was afraid they would see me. I think being here on this island, if we were all isolated, we would all just go crazy. We need other people,” Zayne paused again, “Or at least I know I do.”
---
“I’m not likely to object either way.” Thursday smiled at him then went quiet as he listened. He nodded slightly as Zayne spoke. He understood. At least in some part. Maybe not completely because he didn’t know what it was like for Zayne but he understood the basic idea. “If we were all isolated then they would have won because we would have all given up.” He said softly. “There’s no point in existing if you don’t have some interaction with people to share it with.”
---
“But that’s not going to happen,” Zayne said, “It can’t and it won’t happen. We aren’t going to give up and we aren’t going to be isolated.” He said that rather firmly because he had to believe it. They all needed to hold onto that hope and they needed to hold onto each other. They would stay strong because of that.
---
Thursday smiled at Zayne’s comments and nodded. “Exactly.” He said it softly but firmly. “That’s exactly what we’re fighting for.” Leaning over Thursday hugged him tightly. “And we have each other. No matter what.”