Ashe hadn’t seen Daryn since the protest and it was driving him crazy. It had been ...difficult. He knew that she was trying to push him away and he also knew that he wasn’t going to let her. He had picked a bad time to bring it up, to try to talk her about it so he had let it go at the time. But that was temporary. The only way she was getting rid of him was if she really didn’t want him around, and he was pretty damn sure that was not the case. That kiss .. that said a lot to him and he was holding onto that tightly.
Ashe gave her a little bit of space after the protest. He wanted to be with her, not smother her. After a few days he decided it would be okay. The woman needed to eat, right? And he knew she liked his food. So he whipped up dinner and dessert for two and grabbed a bottle of wine before heading over. Getting to her door he knocked and hoped that he hadn’t shown up when she wasn’t home.
---
Daryn was home, going through more of her things to throw them out. It was a distraction, which was what she needed. After going over to their place to talk with Phobia, Daryn wasn’t sure she wanted to go back and face him again any time soon. She knew she should have at least texted Ashe in the meantime, but she always made up an excuse. She did feel badly about it, but she just didn’t want to deal with it at the moment.
Daryn was headed for the door, a box in her arms to bring out to the trash, when she heard the knock. Setting the box down near the door, she checked the peephole before opening the door for Ashe. She was honestly surprised to see him, pleasantly so. She moved aside to let him in, offering to help with the things. Hi. This is a surprise, what is all of this?
--
Ashe smiled when she opened the door and he was mentally relieved when she had him come in instead of immediately turning him away. That was the first step, right? He was happy for that. “I wanted to see you and I figured we both need to eat so I made food. I mean .. that’s what I do anyway.” He laughed softly then headed straight for the kitchen. “I thought I’d change it up a little. I saw cornish hens at the market and just had to have them. I haven’t cooked them in a long time. So I hope you’re hungry. Oh, and I brought wine.” Setting the box down he pulled out the bottle and handed it to her.
---
Daryn would never turn Ashe away, she just wasn’t very good at going to him when she needed to, or even when she wanted to. Following him to the kitchen, she watched him in amusement, accepting the bottle of wine and looking it over. You spoil me, as always. She looked tired, but she was glad to see him. She knew if she kept her shit up, there was a chance she could lose him and she didn’t want that, despite her actions.
--
“I like to do it.” Ashe grinned. Pulling everything out he got the oven pre-heating and set things together so that they could easily be put together when it was ready. He slipped the dessert into the fridge then leaned back on the counter and smiled over at her. “It’s going to be a little bit before everything is hot again and ready to eat. Should we crack open that bottle and relax a little?”
---
Smiling, she kissed his cheek before moving to open the bottle of wine and pour them each a glass. I owe you dinner. Or at the very least, a good dessert. I don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep. I’m just… delayed this time.
--
Ashe grinned widely at the kiss. Reaching out he let his hand gently run down her arm. He liked having her close and being able to touch her. It didn’t need to be anything more than that. “There’s been a lot going one so I get it.” He said softly and he meant it. “Maybe what we should do is cook together. We can plan it all and make it and eat it together. I mean, if you can stand me bossing you around in the kitchen.” He grinned at her.
---
Handing over his glass of wine, she smiled. That sounds really nice, actually. I can stand you bossing me around, if you are willing to see how absolutely horrible I am at cooking. You’ll need to be patient with me. But I can make a few good desserts, if I remember my mother’s recipes correctly.
--
Ashe accepted the glass with a thanks and took a sip. “Well maybe I can teach you a few things so you won’t be so horrible. And you’ll see I have a lot of patience.” It was part of the reason it was so hard to push him away after all. “And I’ll leave the dessert to you. I don’t make very many. I did bring a mousse this time but it’s about as far as I go. I’m a much better at savory than sweet.” He smiled and reached to touch her arm. “How are you feeling?”
---
Taking a sip from her own glass, she watched him as he spoke, smiling faintly. Then we can balance each other out in the kitchen. She tensed slightly, more at the question than the touch. Taking his hand, she led him to the living room to sit on the couch. I’m alright. Much improved since New Years, thankfully. How are you? While she still felt sore at times, and had headaches at the end of the day, she was healed for the most part and was back to doing most of her normal routine. Well, except for jogging in the mornings.
--
“Yes, definitely. I’m looking forward to it already.” Ashe smiled then it dropped off his face as he saw her tense. He hadn’t meant to get into a touchy subject but he cared about her so he wanted to know how she was doing. When she took his hand he went with her easily, sitting down near her. “I’m glad to hear that. You look good.” He shrugged a little when she asked him. “Tired, mostly. I’ve been working with my power and it’s exhausting. The other day I slept for like 16 hours. I think I’ve been pushing a bit too much because my skin is sore in spots. So I’m going to back off a bit with that.”
---
Sitting close to him, Daryn watched Ashe carefully as he spoke, frowning a little when he spoke of the side effects of his training. You should be sleeping then, instead of here, being annoyed by me. She was kidding, slightly, she did think he should be resting. Concerned, she looked over him before her gaze met his eyes again. Where are you sore, maybe I can help?
--
“I would rather be with you. Annoyances and all.” Ashe grinned at her. “But I’ve taken it easy the last few days so I’m good on the extra sleeping. I got overzealous is all.” At her question about being sore he did a quick mental inventory. “It’s mostly sensitive skin. Like the under my arms and the insides of my thighs. It’s just a little sore and tender.” Like a minor burn he told himself. Since that’s essentially what it was.”
—-
Daryn nodded, placing her hand on his. If you trust me, and if you’ll allow it, I can heal it for you so at least there’s less discomfort. Not sure I could help with the fatigue though.
—-
Ashe turned his hand over to gently hold hers. “I do trust you. Completely.” He looked at her. “As long as it won’t be a detriment to you I wouldn’t mind. I mean it’s tolerable, and I’m sure it will heal eventually but … no one likes to be in pain.” He lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers. “Just don’t do it because you feel like you have something to prove.”
---
Daryn watched Ashe with a small smile and shook her head. I just want to help, that is all. She squeezed his hand lightly and in the process, her hand gradually turned cooler in temperature. That coolness gently spread across his skin, attempting to alleviate any soreness he felt throughout his body. It only lasted a minute or two before fading away slowly. Did that help?
--
“Then that’s perfect.” Ashe smiled then looked down at her hand when she squeezed his. He gasped softly at the coolness before a shiver went through him from head to toe. “Wow.” He said softly and shivered again. “It did. I think.” Reaching up with his free hand he gently probed the skin under his arms and smiled. “Yeah, it’s good now. I’m just cold.” He laughed then leaned over and kissed her gently. “Thank you.”
---
Daryn smiled softly, glad that she could help. Even though healing someone entailed taking a lesser form of the injury into herself, she barely noticed the faint pain of burns on her skin. She returned his kiss softly. The chill should go away soon. You’re quite welcome.
--
Ashe would have told her no if he had known some of the injury would carry over to her. He did it to himself so he should be the only one who paid for it. He smiled as she returned the kiss. “Though I’ve gained more control over the….shift I suppose you could call it. I don’t get completely lost in the bird so I can find my way back out. That’s what I was trying to hard for. It’s not perfect but it’s closer.”
—-
She nodded, thinking about it for a moment. Can I ask a question? About the shift? If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand. I know a lot of people don’t like discussing their abilities and I don’t want to intrude.
--
“You’re not intruding at all.” Ashe shook his head. “I’m still figuring things out but I’ll gladly answer whatever I can. I have no reason to hide any of it from you.” He smiled at her.
—-
You couldn’t if you tried. It’s very, very hard to keep a secret from a telepath. She smiled, just teasing of course. She wouldn’t intrude on his privacy like that, although at times it had nothing to do with her own effort. A lot of the time, she just heard things she wasn’t supposed to know. Thinking for a few moments about Ashe’s ability, she finally shared her thoughts, hoping they made sense. When you shift, you still have awareness, right? You still know who you are, and where you are, and what is going on around you? It’s just that your outward human qualities are temporarily suspended?
--
Ashe chuckled and gave her a nod. “Well there is that.” He grinned at her then thought about her question. “That’s actually the part I’m fighting with. At first it’s so disorienting that I almost lose that awareness. Everything is color and fire and fight and flee. The very first time it happened I had no idea of anything really until I was human again. And even then it was just blurry thoughts. But now it’s to the point where it’s only a few moments of that. Once I get control then I’m mostly aware of the who, where and what part. I at least can keep from blindly attacking or fleeing. But with more control of that I’ve lost control of the whole flying part. So I’m still a bit of a hot mess.” He laughed when his own unintended pun hit him. “That was a bad pun.”
—-
Daryn smiled at his pun, but his words made her think along a different line than she was originally headed. Does it feel instinctual? The flying? Is it almost automatic, after the shift, or it is a conscious choice that is just difficult to focus on for now?
--
The smile was appreciated and he acknowledged it with one of his own. He stayed quiet for a moment as he thought about his answer. “It’s instinctual to the bird. But not to the human part of me. And right now it’s like the two are disconnected. If I’m too focused on the human part I lose the bird and if I slip too far into the bird I can get disoriented. I have to work to find a balance between the two.” He frowned a little wondering if that made sense.
—-
Daryn listened and nodded in understanding, it did make sense. And since trying to learn control again was all new to him, it wasn’t going to be easy to explain or put into action right away. Well, if there is any way that I can help, I’m happy to do it. I would have wanted to either way, but I definitely have a bit more time on my hands, for now. There’s only so much cleaning around here that I can do, and I’ve essentially thrown almost everything away anyway. She motioned to the last of the things in the box by the door, an old violin case lying on the top of the pile of photos and other personal belongings.
--
“I would love help, actually. I think I’ll be able to hear you no matter where I am, mentally. Unlike someone speaking out loud. I tend to lose that with most of my other senses.” Ashe hadn’t really thought about that being a benefit with Daryn until that moment. When she mentioned throwing everything away he looked around and it finally hit him. “Is there a reason you’re throwing it all away? It seems like you’d want some of those mementos that weren’t damaged or destroyed.”
---
Smiling, Daryn nodded, glad that he would trust her enough to help. It’s settled then. Whenever you like, I can help when you do your training. She was looking forward to it, hoping she could help Ashe in some way.
She thought about his question before answering with a heavy sigh. I’ve been holding onto those things for years now, and why? That isn’t my life anymore. And even if things changed radically and I could go back, that isn’t who I am. Those things are just a reminder of what I lost. I need to let go.
--
Ashe smiled. “Great. I appreciate it. I’m thinking I should give it a couple more days. I really overdid it so I should probably make sure I’m fully recovered before I dive in again. I don’t want to have to have you heal me again.”
He listened as she talked about why she was throwing things away. He looked over at the box before looking back at her. “Do you feel like you need to let go because you’re angry you can’t go back and it’s painful to have that reminder? Or are you looking toward the future and trying to move forward?”
---
I don’t mind healing you again, but I agree that it is probably best to rest a little longer before jumping back in. There’s no point in exhausting yourself just over practice. Sliding her hand into his once again, she squeezed it lightly.
She considered the question for a moment before responding. I think it’s anger, and pain. And sadness. My life was on the edge of changing before I came here. Everything was going to be different, in a wonderful way that I never realized I wanted until then. And then it was all gone. I’ll never get that back, holding on isn’t healthy. Those reminders only give me false hope. It’s been five years. She wasn’t looking to the future or thinking about moving forward, living in the moment was the most she could do without overthinking and potentially sabotaging herself.
--
Ashe squeezed her hand back, welcoming the touch. He listened as she spoke and his heart broke for her. He wanted to fix it. All of it. He wanted to take away her pain and give her something to look forward to. But he wasn't in any better place to change their future than she was. He nodded slowly. “I think I can understand that.” He spoke softly. “I didn’t leave much behind so I don’t have that same pain. I worked a crappy job and I was a pickpocket on the side.” He shrugged. “I actually am a better person and have a better life now in some ways. Unfortunately the most important way I don’t have.” He sighed softly. “That doesn’t help. I’m sorry.”
---
Furrowing her brow, Daryn’s eyes scanned Ashe’s face curiously. You have nothing to apologize for. And I have a feeling you’ve always been this wonderful person that I get to sit with right now. You just had different circumstances then. That doesn’t define who you are. Since she hadn’t touched it so far, she set aside her wine glass and leaned in to kiss him softly.
--
Ashe looked at her with a bemused smile when she said she had a feeling he was always a wonderful person. He didn’t think he was much of anything. He just got by as best he could without outwardly hurting people. That didn’t count for much in his book. But he didn’t think it was worth arguing about. It was the past and it was over. “Thank you for that.” He said softly. When she set her glass aside he set his own down then easily returned the kiss. He slipped his free arm around her waist to pull her in closer.
---
Shifting closer to him with a smile, she leaned against him lightly and tried to relax. Which was easier said than done. What do you want for your future? Whether it be here, or if things changed and you could leave?
—
When she leaned into him Ashe wrapped his arm even more around her, holding her close. Turning slightly he pressed a kiss into her hair. “I … honestly? I haven’t really thought about it.” He blinked at himself. “I’ve never been one to think about or plan for the future. I mean .. I’d like to think Oliver will be my friend and that we’ll still be close. And … I’d like to think you’d still be in my life. But outside of that.” He shrugged.
---
Dayn smiled, relaxing a bit more as he held her close. I would like that. To still be a part of your life. If I can manage not to screw up that chance. She was only slightly kidding. But I am happy with where we are here and now. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt quite this comfortable so quickly with anyone before.
--
Ashe felt her relax more and he smiled to himself. That was a victory to him. “Well you’re in luck because I’m pretty hard to get rid of.” He smiled at her. “I’m glad to hear that because I really like this. And I really like you.” He pressed a kiss into her hair and chuckled softly. “I didn’t give you a lot of choice.”
—-
Daryn smiled, looking up to him. That’s probably for the best. I was never very good at getting close to people, and after coming here, I’d just stopped trying. So, I am thankful that you haven’t given up on me yet.
--
Ashe smiled down at her. “Well I’d say you aren’t nearly as bad as you think you are. You may not have been seeking me out but you’re very easy to talk to. And when you can just relax and enjoy yourself you’re a lot of fun and very easy to be with. So there’s that.” He smiled at her.
---
Daryn smiled softly, leaning her head against his shoulder lightly. She liked the thought of being easy to be with and talk to. That was important to her, for people to feel comfortable around her even though she could read their minds. It wasn’t always an easy feat. Fun is not a word I often hear associated with my name. I think you’re just being generous, but I’ll take it.
---
When she laid her head on his shoulder Ashe gently laid his head against her. Ashe rarely even thought about the fact that she could read his mind. He didn’t have any reason to hide anything from her. Every once in a while it got a little embarrassing, especially when his mind wandered into dirty places, but it still wasn’t any reason to be uncomfortable. Most of the time he didn’t even think twice about the fact that he could ‘hear’ her inside his head instead of with his ears. Ashe chuckled softly at her words. “You’ve said that about me before. But either way it's how I feel. And this, right here, feels amazing.”
---
Daryn smiled slowly, it was nice to hear and feel that he was comfortable with her, it put her at ease in a way she didn’t realize she needed. Lifting her head, she looked up to him once again and leaned in for another kiss. She hesitated though, pausing with a little, teasing smile. You make me want to kiss you again. But if we keep going along this way, one of these days we’ll start a fire in the kitchen over forgotten food.
--
Ashe swore then laughed at her reminder. “See, I get so comfortable with you that I completely forget there’s food.” Leaning in he kissed her quickly then carefully pulled away and nearly dashed into the kitchen. He got the food out of the oven and on the table and got everything put together. “I hope you’re hungry. I made a ton of food.” He laughed softly.
---
Daryn let him go with a small smile and followed behind to see if there was anything she could help with. Bringing along their wine glasses, she set them down on the table before taking a seat Is forgetting about food a good thing, or a bad thing? Everything looked delicious, as always, and she hadn’t been able to turn down his food yet, so it was unlikely to happen any time soon. You always do, are you trying to fatten me up?
--
Ashe grinned over at her. “Well normally, no. But I don’t mind forgetting when it means we’re relaxing together like that. I need be better at setting a timer next time.” He grinned then looked over the food to make sure everything was right. Once he was happy he sat down as well then laughed at her comment. “Not technically, no. I’m just serious about making sure people eat well.”
---
Smiling, she couldn’t help but tease. A timer so that we know when the food is done, or so that we know how much time we have to make out? Once he sat down and was settled, she began to dig in while everything was hot. Very serious, and that is a good thing. You have probably single handedly kept me healthy in the last month or so on your meals alone.
--
“Well, both, really.” Ashe grinned at her. He waited for her to start eating then followed suit. Fortunately nothing had been overcooked and it was al still good. He hadn’t made this in a long time and he was happy it came out well. “I will gladly take the credit for that. And I plan to keep it up.” He smiled widely. “If you’d prefer I can be more healthy like this and less lasagna.” He winked at her.
---
She flashed him a smile in between bites. Healthy is always good but this is amazing. So, I’ll leave it up to you. I don’t think I’ll be going back to my morning jogging routine for a long time, but I should probably try to keep up some sort of activity. Maybe a walk. I can use your food as motivation to get back to exercising.
--
“Well honestly, this is pretty healthy. So bonus on that one.” Ashe smiled at her then his face fell when she mentioned not going back to jogging. He wasn’t going to poke at that wound. “Well if you want to start walking or something I’ll gladly go with you. I need to get more exercise than I do. And then I can make dinner after.” He smiled.
---
While she saw his expression change, Daryn didn’t address it. Instead, she just smiled softly. I will use any excuse I can get to spend more time with you, so I wouldn’t turn that down. But I also don’t want to hang on you too much, you’ll get sick of me.
--
Ashe grinned huge at her. He was surprised at how much he felt butterflies in his stomach when she said that. Shouldn’t they be past the butterflies stage? But it just felt so good to hear her say that she would use any excuse to spend time with him. “Oh I don’t think you need to worry about that.” Ashe chuckled softly. “I think it would be really nice, actually. Hell I’d do it every day except I don’t want to completely desert Oliver.”
--- Daryn continued to eat, glad to hear that he would be happy to spend more time with her. She paused for a moment, hesitating to even ask before she finally did. How is he? I haven’t spoke to him or seen him in a while. Everything is alright?
--
“Oliver? He uh .. I haven’t seen him much, honestly. He’s shut himself in his room and isn’t really coming out or responding to me. He’s upset about something but I’m not really sure what. Since he wont talk to me.” Ashe shrugged. He really was worried about his best friend but nothing he did seemed to help. “I’m just trying to make sure he knows I’m there.”
---
Daryn frowned and looked down, feeling guilty. She had apologized, and tried to fix things but obviously that hadn’t been enough. She slowly stopped eating and put her fork down. I’m sorry to hear that.
--
Ashe frowned when she put her fork down. He did the same and looked over at her. “Oliver...I mean you probably know. He’s kind of a sensitive soul. and it’s a lot easier for him to retreat into shadows when he’s struggling. He especially struggles when he feels like he’s disappointed people or let someone down.” Ashe didn’t know what happened between Daryn and Oliver and he wasn’t pointing a finger. He was just speaking to what he suspected might be going on. “He’ll pull himself up and out of it enough so that he can move forward. It just takes him longer than most of us to pick himself back up. Especially when he thinks he screwed up.”
---
Leaning her chin in her palm, Daryn watched Ashe and listened carefully as he spoke. He knew Oliver far better than she did, and she trusted his words. He hasn’t screwed up, or let me down, or disappointed me. He was right, very right, but I reacted to that poorly. I apologized to him, but I feel like maybe it only made things worse. I’ve lost his friendship, and worse, his respect, and that bothers me. I think he and I are a lot alike, in a way. It is so much easier to push people away, lonely as it can become.
--
Ashe looked over at Daryn when she spoke. “I .. I think you’re wrong. About him I mean. If you really had lost his friendship and respect he wouldn’t be upset. He’d have moved on and acted like nothing had happened. The reason he’s such a mess is because he has incredible respect for you and values your friendship. He thinks HE has ruined that. He’s lost YOUR respect. So … maybe you are alike in that way. You both feel like you’ve ruined it when … in all honesty neither of you have.” He broke into a half crooked smile as he thought about it. “Both of you really need to sit down together and stop trying to protect each other’s feelings. You need to be open and honest and blunt. No kid gloves. That’s the only way you’ll get through to him and I suspect it’s the only way it will work with you too.”
---
Daryn couldn’t help but smile when Ashe did, but she still shook her head with a sigh. I tried to do that, that’s what started this whole mess to begin with. And when I apologized, I told him that he hadn’t done anything wrong. I tried to re-connect with him again but he didn’t want that. Normally, being a mind-reader could help clear up some of these problems, but in this case it only seemed to make them worse.
--
It took everything Ashe had not to sigh out loud. “It’s not going to be that simple. And he doesn’t want an apology. But I’m not trying to be a go-between or anything. If you want my help to know how to get through to him I’ll help. But it will inevitably up to the both of you. And I can tell you it’s not going to be easy or quick. He has a LOT of demons and you’ll have to push through them.”
---
Looking down again, Daryn nodded with a sigh. She trusted Ashe’s advice, but she doubted herself and worried that her efforts would only make things worse. She finally looked back to him with a faint smile. Thank you for the advice. I will try again.