Who: Ashe and Phobia What: Dinner and hanging out When: January 25, 2018, after work Where: their home
Phobia stood in the kitchen, staring into the fridge. He was going to attempt to make dinner. Or he wanted to attempt to make them dinner, which meant he needed to figure out what to make before Ashe came home, which would be any moment now. Yes, this was Phobia’s silent way of trying to apologise for hiding lately. Except he had no idea what to make and anything he came up with, a nasty voice in his head told him that Ashe could make the same thing a million times better and that was no way to ask for forgiveness. The nasty little voice also told Phobia he should just go back to his room, shut the door and hang out again by the ceiling. It was a tempting voice but Phobia tried to ignore it.
Okay. There were English muffins. Phobia peered in again, he could make tiny personal pizzas? Nothing fancy and nothing that Ashe couldn’t whip up in five seconds but it was the effort that counted, right? As if effort meant anything after Phobia’s hiding fit. Really, one day Ashe was just going to give up.
Phobia went to the cupboard, looking around to see if they had pizza sauce. Ignore the voice, keep looking and make a plan.
---
Ashe would normally have called out to Oliver once he let himself in but lately he didn’t see the point. Not since he had been hiding in his room. He was worried about his friend but he had no idea how to help. He wasn’t even sure he knew what was going on with him. He had put together enough pieces to know that it had something to do with Daryn. But that was about all he had managed and Oliver wasn’t exactly talking. He’d just wait it out. Eventually he’d come out and either talk to Ashe or it would be fixed. Either way he could wait.
Shutting and locking the door behind him he hung up his coat, took of his shoes and set his bag down by the door. He was debating heading straight to his room to relax or fix dinner.
---
Phobia heard Ashe come in and he heard Ashe not say anything. He used to but Phobia was also very hiding so why would Ashe say anything? Or maybe it was a sign that he was giving up. Phobia grabbed the pizza sauce and put it on the counter. He stepped out of the kitchen, a part of him ready to dart back in and just hide, and he gave a small wave to Ashe.
“I thought I could make dinner tonight? Whenever you are hungry?” Phobia said. He quickly glanced at Ashe then looked away. Argh. This was unnecessarily hard and he didn’t like it.
---
Ashe looked up when Oliver stepped out of the kitchen and smiled widely. “Hey! I didn’t realize you were up and about or I would have called out to you.” Stepping over he gently touched a hand to Oliver’s arm. He was very glad to see him up and about instead of hiding in his room. “That would be wonderful. I’m hungry whenever you’re ready to eat.”
---
The smile surprised Phobia. He didn’t know why. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Ashe was happy to see him but then again, why would Ashe be happy to see him? His head felt very confused in that moment and he gave himself a mental shake. He wanted to touch Ashe’s hand but he didn’t. He wasn’t sure how.
“I’ve been up for a bit. I thought it was time to come down,” Phobia replied. He realised that Ashe may not really realise what he meant. Or maybe he would because he would have seen Phobia as shadows and mist up by the ceiling before.
“I can start now,” Phobia offered, “You can relax or whatever. Post work.”
---
“I’m glad you decided to come down. I’ve missed you.” Ashe stepped in and hugged him gently. He didn’t let it linger too long, he didn’t want Oliver to feel smothered or push him too much. But he had missed his friend.
Pulling back he smiled at him. “How about I get us something to drink and keep you company while you cook. I promise not to get in the way.” He really liked the idea of Oliver making dinner for the both of them.
---
Phobia returned the hug, which wasn’t something he did often. He liked the hug, the touch, the closeness and for a moment, his head was quiet. He hadn’t pushed away Ashe too much this time. Ashe wasn’t leaving him. Not yet, anyway, and, like that, the voice was back.
Phobia flashed a quick smile to Ashe and said, “Okay. I’m just making mini pizzas on the English muffins. Nothing overly fancy.” He went to the fridge and took out everything he needed. He turned the oven to pre-heat. He turned to Ashe and asked, “How was your day?”
---
Ashe smiled when Oliver hugged him back. It felt really good to be able to hug him and have it returned. He let him go when it ended, not pushing it.
“Mini pizzas? That sounds really good, actually. I love english muffins.” Once Oliver got his stuff out Ashe pulled out soda and made up glasses for the both of them, setting one for Oliver before leaning back against the counter. “Pretty typical. People still eat the same way they always have.”
---
Phobia began to prepare the muffins, feeling self conscious. They weren’t going to be as good as anything Ashe would do but Ashe seemed into this. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. Maybe it would be pretty good. He hoped.
He thanked him for the soda and smirked, “I don’t imagine people would want to stop eating,” he wondered and glanced at Ashe, “Have you seen a lot of people without IDs?” He was curious how many were burnt that night. He didn’t really catch the faces of many people that night, especially when the guards came. All he thought about was creating a distraction to let people leave.
---
Ashe would never think that anything Oliver made wasn’t as good as he could make it. Just the very fact that he was cooking for them instead of Ashe doing it made it wonderful. He was excited.
“I wouldn’t think so either but sometimes people don’t do what you would expect. I’ve seen people eat less because of stressful situations but I feel like it’s been the opposite. We’re making more food than normal. I don’t know if that’s because people are eating more or if there are more people in general.” He thought about Oliver’s question. “I’ve seen some but I don’t directly deal with the people so I’m not a very good judge.” He shrugged. “But the talk around is extremely positive and pumped.”
---
Phobia was one of those people who ate less when he was stressed. Actually, when he was shadows and mist, he rarely at at all. He did notice that he lost a little weight, which wasn’t really a good thing. Another reason to try to force himself to stay as himself.
“Let’s go with eating more,” Phobia said, not wanting to think that there were more people on this island, that more people were stuck on the island.
Phobia shrugged, eyeballing the muffins to see if he put enough cheese on it. It could use more, “You see more people than I have lately,” his own doing, “That’s good to hear. I keep waiting to hear a reaction from the government and it feels like they are ignoring it.”
---
“That’s likely it. I also wonder if people are cooking less for themselves and gathering more. It could easily be both. If you want to hear gossip you can’t do that from your dining room.” Ashe smiled. It kept him busy, that was all that he knew.
“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It makes me wonder if they’re not saying anything because they don’t want to acknowledge it. Maybe if they pretend it didn’t happen they think they can keep it from inspiring people? I have no idea. I’m just guessing. But mostly I’m glad that they haven’t made things even harder on us.”
---
“Unless you are Daryn or Remy,” Phobia countered with a smirk. Or him to an extent but it wasn’t gossip he could sense but fears and that was one thing he noticed that after New Years that more people were afraid of the guards. Fitz’s idea had merit that he could easily stroll into one of the government restricted buildings as a guard. It was once inside that was the problem.
“They can pretend all they want but we aren’t going to drop it,” Phobia said, turning back to putting the rest of the toppings on the food and putting it in the oven, “The question is what is the next step. How do we go bigger?”
---
Ashe laughed at his joke and nodded. “Well, there is that. But most of us need actual people interactions. Granted I’d rather talk to you and Daryn. But that’s neither here nor there.” He needed to go see Daryn. No, he wanted to go see Daryn. He missed her and he hadn’t been able to talk to her much at the protest. He had actually gone too far that night and he wanted to talk to her about it.
“It might be good that they’re pretending. Then people can more easily hold onto that feeling and feel hope. That’s the one thing people need more than anything else.” Ashe looked over at him. “That’s a good question. I have no idea.”
---
Phobia wasn’t sure how to respond when Ashe said he wanted to talk to Daryn. Not that he wanted anything to happen between them, he really didn’t. It was him who screwed everything up and now Daryn didn’t want anything to do with him. He wished he had his hoodie or something to fidget with. He leaned against the wall, sliding his hands into his pockets.
Phobia nodded at the mention of hope. He hesitated then said, “Hopefully that support group helps. It seems like Thursday and Zayne are good at that hope stuff.” He assumed, “It would be great if we could get a dialogue going, find out what we need to do, to prove, to get things moving. It may be a meaningless gesture on their part but it may also mean something.”
---
Ashe nodded in agreement. “Yeah the meeting went well. It got people talking. I think that’s at least a good thing no matter what else happens. People are supporting each other.” He tilted his head at Oliver when he talked about a dialogue. “A dialogue? Like with the government people here?”
---
Phobia nodded. Ashe was right. People supporting one another was a good thing. People needed that. They needed hope and support and with that group? They were going to get it. There was going to be an opportunity to talk and chat. “I hope it continues to go well.”
Phobia nodded again, “Yeah. We can throw protests and group meetings all we want but if the government isn’t going to listen or respond? We are just wasting our energy. If there can be a conversation, then at least we know what we have to do. Or what will never happen.”
---
“So do I.” Ashe said softly and nodded. “It certainly has a lot of potential and I think people really need it. I’ll do anything I can to help though I’m not really involved.” He shrugged slightly.
“That makes a lot of sense to me. The hard part is getting someone to talk who isn’t just going to use that dialogue to then attack.” Ashe wrinkled up his face. “That was really pessimistic.”
—
“You could be,” Phobia pointed out. If Ashe wanted to do something more, he was sure that no one would object, especially if it was with the support group. Then again, he could be wrong. Maybe he didn’t know as much as he thought. Again, he wished he had his hoodie on.
“Not really,” Phobia said, glancing up, “The government hasn’t exactly shown themselves to be trustworthy. So either that means we need to blindly trust or… I don’t know. Have a double agent? Either way. It seems very difficult.”
---
“I’d like to be. But I’m trying not to just push my way in. So I’m going to play it by ear and step up when I get the chance.” Ashe was serious about helping where he could and he knew he would get his chance.
“That’s kind of what I was thinking. So it’s not a quick and easy option but it’s still a good idea if it can happen.” Ashe shrugged. “Maybe it’s something you can mention to Daryn or Remy.”
---
“I wouldn’t call it pushing,” but Phobia was going to leave it there. He knew that Ashe wanted to be involved and he would get his chance. There was no reason to push it. He was needed and they would have a lot of chances to do things.
Phobia nodded, trying to think who worked closely with the government. Thursday and Remy both worked in the Facility. That was something but not enough, “It will take time and planning.” Necessary but sometimes that took too long.
---
“I appreciate that.” Ashe smiled. “I just don’t want anyone to think I’m too eager or anything.” Ashe shrugged and sipped at his drink just relaxing against the counter. It felt good to be able to just talk to Oliver. He felt like he hasn’t talked to him in a long time.
“I think anything that makes a difference is going to take time and planning. But it has to start somewhere.” Ashe shrugged. “But I don’t have a lot of experience either so.”
---
“Too eager would be offering to fight every government official until we get what we want. Or living outside Remy’s or Daryn’s door asking for missions. That might be too eager. I think you’re good,” Phobia smirked. Though he could understand the hesitation. Had he not felt it too? Didn’t he still feel like that?
“You aren’t wrong,” Phobia said. He opened the oven door and peeked inside. Another couple of minutes, maybe. He turned back to Ashe, “It will happen.” He had to say that, right? Spread the hope to others. He was not hope and rainbows.
---
“Yeah, we both know that we wouldn't need to worry about any of that.” Ashe chuckled softly. “Thank you for that. The perspective I mean.” He smiled over at him.
Ashe watched him, staying quiet about the cooking. Oliver was doing well and he wasn't going to step in. This was Oliver’s show and Ashe was enjoying it. “I know it will.” he nodded.
---
Phobia looked to Ashe and flashed the quickest of smiles before turning back to the oven and pulling out the little pizzas. He poked the side quickly. They were crispy but not burnt. They looked and smelt good to him. He grabbed the plates and served them up. He handed a plate to Ashe.
“Dinner is served,” Phobia said, “I hope it’s okay.” He hoped he didn’t mess it up. He tried to ignore the doubt itching at him again.
---
Ashe watched him and smiled. He was impressed. These pizzas were definitely not something he would have come up with himself. Sometimes when cooking was your job you forgot how to do simple fun things at home. Accepting the plate he took a big sniff and smiled. “This is wonderful, Oliver. Should we go relax on the couch and put on a movie or something? Just hang out and eat your yummy pizzas?”
---
Phobia flashed another quick smile, glad that Ashe liked it. Maybe the doubt in his head was wrong, maybe he wasn’t so utterly useless and ought to stay as shadows. He could do this and this was something, right?
“I’m not opposed to hanging out,” Phobia said, “Unless you want to watch a movie. Do we have anything new?”
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“Why don’t we put on something we’ve seen a million times but still love? That way we can watch and just relax and it doesn’t matter if we pay super close attention?” Ashe smiled and got up to find a movie before putting it in. He smiled over at Oliver once he sat back down. “This feels good.”