Ashe (phoenixashe) wrote in destructionisle, @ 2018-01-14 10:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | daryn o'conner |
characters: Daryn O’Connor and Ashe McKinnon
setting: Remy's house, Monday, January 8th, 2018, afternoon
summary: bringing food to a friend
rating: low
Ashe had been thinking about Daryn a lot. Which really wasn’t different than normal. But he was worried and that was new. The hardest part was that he wanted to do something to help. Daryn already had a whole host of people who were helping her out so for the most part he stayed out of the way. But when he decided he couldn't just stand back and do nothing he decided to do what he did best, cook.
Knowing that Daryn would struggle to chew he planned accordingly. He put together a hearty stew with ground beef and a ton of cooked vegetables in a thick sauce. It would require very little chewing. He made up a pan of sweet cornbread to go with the stew that was nearly melt in your mouth soft. Packing it all up he hefted the bags and headed over to Remy’s house where Daryn was staying. With a deep breath he knocked on the door.
---
Daryn answered the knock at the door and greeted Ashe with a small, surprised smile. Stepping aside to allow him in, she closed the door behind him and silently offered to help with whatever he’d brought by. She was moving around slightly better than she had when she last saw him, but she was still slow and sore, and tried not to use her abilities unless absolutely necessary until she felt she was closer to her usual functioning. Luckily the swelling had gone down and the bruises were beginning to fade, but Daryn knew she still didn’t look like herself just yet.
--
Ashe smiled widely when she opened the door. “So I brought dinner. There’s enough here for an army so you don’t have to try to eat it all yourself. Though if you want to you can, obviously.” He was rambling. With a sheepish grin he handed over the covered dish with the cornbread then stepped in. “You look like you’re moving better than before. Though I’m sure the last thing you want is someone pointing that out. It’s not like you aren’t feeling all of it.” Since the house was laid out the same as Daryn’s he knew where the kitchen was and headed that way.
---
Seeing his smile made Daryn smile a bit more, or as much as she could all things considered. She took the dish and followed him to the kitchen. Setting it down on the counter, she pulled out her phone to respond to him. Thank you. For coming, and for all of this. How have you been doing? How are things with your place? She was moving around better, and had stopped using the cane but was still slow and cautious to get from place to place, even the short distance from the door to the kitchen.
--
Once they got to the kitchen he took the pot of stew out and put it on the stove to get it warming then pulled out the cornbread and stuck it in the oven. Once it was all set he turned to face her. “I’m okay. The place is coming along slowly. We’ve got everything cleaned up and all of the damaged stuff is gone. Now it’s just the slow process of replacing everything. That part sucks but we don’t have to rush at this point at least. We have the necessities.” He really wanted to step over and kiss her but he didn’t know how that would be handled of if she’d even want it so he held back. “I um ..this is stew and cornbread. You shouldn't have any trouble eating it if your jaw is still sore. I probably should have asked first but I just went with this. It’ll be good no matter what.”
---
Leaning against the counter, Daryn watched Ashe as he explained and then suddenly seemed nervous. Tilting her head, she studied him, trying to figure it out. It still wasn’t quite so easy and natural to read thoughts, so she wasn’t getting much of his mindset from that. Which was probably for the best, she didn’t like to just intrude on people’s thoughts anyway. Reluctantly, she typed a message for him. Something she would have freely ‘said’ to him seemed strange in text form. Was she usually so blunt? Is everything okay? You seem nervous.
--
Ashe hadn’t meant to make things seem awkward or show his nerves. They often got the best of him and he didn’t hide them very well. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes for a moment then opened again and looked at her. “I um .. I really want to kiss you. But I don’t know if you would even want me to or if I would hurt you.” He blushed then laughed softly at himself, shaking his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get all nervous on you or make things awkward. I was hoping we could just hang out but I never know what to say.” He gave her a sheepish smile. “And now I’m rambling.”
---
Daryn watched Ashe curiously, smiling a little when he said he wanted to kiss her. Putting her phone back in her pocket, she moved over to him and leaned in to kiss him softly. Not wanting to ruin the moment, she tried to use her telepathy to speak to him, which was better than talking to him with a phone. I think you can safely assume that I would be happy to have you kiss me at any time. She moved to take a seat, using her phone now so that she didn’t wear herself out. But that doesn’t mean we can’t just hang out, too.
--
Seeing the smile on Daryn’s lips helped Ashe relax almost immediately. When she stepped in to kiss him he returned this kiss, one hand resting gently on her hip. He grinned at her words in his mind. “I’m really glad to hear that.” He answered softly then watched as she moved to sit. “I like that too.” He was still blushing a little but now he was smiling. Making one last check on the food he moved over to join her. “The food should be ready in about 20 minutes.”
—
When he sat with her, Daryn took Ashe’s hand lightly. She wanted to talk with him like she had before, that felt more comfortable and natural. So she reverted back to telepathy, knowing she may regret that later. But it would be worth the pain. Good, then we have time to talk. How are you feeling, about everything? She knew that everyone had to be overwhelmed with the attacks, but she assumed that by now Phobia had told Ashe about the Faction, and that was probably a lot to process as well.
--
When Daryn took his hand Ashe linked their fingers. It felt good. Such a simple thing but it felt really good and he felt warm all over from it. When she spoke in his mind instead of the phone he smiled. It was more...intimate and he had gotten used to it with her. At her question he took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “Angry? Confused? Overwhelmed? Useless?” Ashe shrugged. “I can’t seem to get a good hold on any emotion to really focus on it. I’m angry about our place but even more the people that were hurt and why? Just because they can get away with it?” He felt the anger start to rise in him, could feel the fire and he had to close his eyes to tamp it down. “I’m trying to keep that anger pushed down. If it bubbles up too far I’ll struggle to control it. And I don’t want that.” He blew out a breath then looked at her. “I also...Oliver told me...about the Faction. I assume you probably know that. And I have a lot of mixed feelings about that knowledge.”
—-
Daryn listened intently as Ashe spoke. You are not useless. She left it at that, this wasn’t time for a little self-esteem lecture, especially since Daryn was feeling pretty beat down herself. No pun intended. Maybe you can use that anger to learn to control it, or at least begin to try. If you still want to. Daryn wasn’t going to push about that, but she knew that Ashe had wanted to have a better handle on his abilities, this could be the perfect opportunity for that.
When he brought up the Faction, Daryn offered a little smile. What kind of mixed feelings? While she could try to just read his mind about it, it felt like it would be more helpful for him to vent. If he wanted to.
--
Ashe gave her a small smile when she said he wasn’t useless. He was being open and honest when he mentioned it, though he was feeling a little better about it since he got to bring her dinner. At her mention about learning to control it he nodded. “I actually already met someone to help me with that. He does training at the facility but agreed to meet me outside. It’s … not going to be easy but I think he’s going to be able to help. Any control I can get is worth it. So .. yeah. It’s just going to take time.” And he may never be able to get control but he was trying to stay positive about it.
The little smile made him smile and he squeezed her hand. “Hope is the biggest one. I mean .. knowing that people are fighting back. That people are doing more than just taking it. To see that anger is being turned into something more useful.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I also feel a bit … jealous and embarrassed to find out my best friend is active in this group and I was completely oblivious to it. It makes me wonder what else I don’t know about him and I feel like I’ve been a shitty friend.” He shook his head at himself. “And I’m a bit … in awe…” He looked at her. “I’ve always thought you were a strong, independent woman on top of being beautiful. But knowing you’ve been involved in this, as a leader or whatever, I don’t know the details, it just … makes me even more in awe of you. But then I see you like this and the anger comes back and it’s like a full circle.” He blushed a little. “I’m rambling again.”
---
Daryn was glad to hear that Ashe had sought out training on his own, and that he felt hopeful about it. She was hopeful for him, and she trusted that Rahim would be as helpful to Ashe as he had been to her in the past. She gave him a small, encouraging smile.
Daryn couldn’t help but smirk at little and shook her head when Ashe spoke about the Faction. I don’t think you’ve been a shitty friend to him at all. It’s always been necessary for us to keep things a secret, for our own protection and for the ones we care about. It was my idea to tell you, I didn’t think it was fair that we keep it from you any longer. But really… you shouldn’t be in awe. I definitely didn’t plan to be in a position like this. Daryn knew that she should explain things to Ashe, but she wasn’t sure if now was the right time, especially if he was already overwhelmed by things.
--
Ashe was glad when Daryn smiled. He hoped that meant she thought he was doing the right thing. She had encouraged him to get help so he had hoped for that but he had doubts about the who and the how. He had done what he could for research but it wasn’t exactly like you could find that on google.
When she said he wasn’t a shitty friend Ashe nodded. “I know that. I mean it has to be secret, so he was doing a good job. But my rational self doesn’t always share with the rest of me.” He bit his lip slightly when she said it was her idea. That actually meant a lot to him but he wasn’t sure how to say it. “Thank you. For thinking to tell me. It means a lot that you’d trust me with this. Both of you.” He tilted his head at her when she said she didn’t plan to be in the position. “Well I don’t think any of us planned for being in this shithole. But you’re doing something about it. That … to me that’s a lot.”
---
Daryn squeezed Ashe’s hand lightly as she watched him when he spoke. She was a little distracted when he bit his lip, it made her want to kiss him again. But she held back, refocusing herself on the conversation. I had to do something. When I was first sent here, I thought they’d taken my whole life away. But then when I lost my- Daryn stopped herself, unsure if she should get into all of that right now. I knew it was the right thing to do, even though it’s dangerous at times. Even when, in times like this, I doubt I can do anything to help anyone anymore.
--
Ashe squeezed her hand in return and kept his full attention on her as she spoke to him. He understood what it felt like to get dumped here and lose everything. They all probably did. But when she didn’t finish her sentence he tilted his head and bit at his lip again. “You stopped.” He said softly. “If you don’t want to tell me, want to talk about it I’m not going to push.” If she wanted to tell him he’d listen but he meant it when he said he wasn’t going to push. It wouldn’t change anything about how he felt about her. He knew that. “Just being passionate and supportive helps a lot. At least it would for me. You don’t have to be out in front, the first one into the fight to be a leader.”
---
Daryn looked down at their hands with a heavy sigh. I do want to tell you. I just haven’t talked about this with many people because it’s so difficult. And honestly, it would probably sound insane to most people. When I came here, I was pregnant. I wasn’t very far along, so I hid the pregnancy as long as I could. Things here didn’t feel right or safe from the beginning, and I didn’t know what was going to happen, none of us did. I thought maybe they wouldn’t keep us here long and eventually we’d get to go home. But then things went wrong and I couldn’t hide it anymore and I gave birth to a daughter. And they took her from me, I only got to hold her for a moment and then they took her away. They told me she was sick and she died but I never believed that. Maybe I’m just in denial. But after that, I started working at the hospital, to try to get my mind off of it, and not too long later, a group of us started the Faction. I joined because I wanted to find my child. And almost five years later, I still don’t have her back. Looking away, Daryn quickly wiped a few tears away before going back to the larger conversation at hand. I don’t think I’m a very good leader right now, but now, after losing my job at the hospital, the Faction is one of the only things I have left to keep me going. Maybe I need to step up and be the first one into the fight.
---
As she began to talk Ashe reached for her other hand, holding both of them. He listened intently, his heart clenching as she continued to speak. When she talked about her daughter being taken away he felt the anger bubble up again and has to fight to tamp it back down. When she wiped tears he pulled a folded bandana out of his pocket and used it to wipe off her cheeks before gently kissing one of them. “Thank you for telling me.” He spoke softly. “Just make sure if you are the first one that it’s not just emotions pushing you. There are people who care about you and want to keep you around.”
---
Daryn managed a small smile, thankful for Ashe’s support. Sighing a little, she just shrugged in response. If I ever have a real chance of finding her, and getting her back, whether she is alive or… Daryn couldn’t even think about the alternative. I can’t promise to be rational or safe if I have that chance. I always do my best to be careful and safe when it comes to Faction matters. But all bets are off when it comes to this one thing.
---
Ashe smiled seeing her smile and reached up to brush her hair back from her face. “I can’t really argue with that.” He spoke softly as he looked at her. “I can’t even imagine what it’s like for you and what I can imagine is …” He shook his head. “I’m not even going to try. But I don’t think anyone can ever fault you for fighting for her. And I have no doubt that you would do anything you could to protect those you care about and those in the Faction.” Ashe shook his head at himself. “I’m just .. speculating. But that's how I see it and I’ll be right beside you if I’m able.”
---
Daryn took Ashe’s hand once again, squeezing it lightly. Are you sure about that? We’re still a secret, for now, but that won’t last forever. Once we go public again, there’s going to be a target on my back. And the only reason I’m even in this position is because every other person in leadership has been killed. That’s something I’ve prepared myself for. But it doesn’t need to be something that affects you.
--
Ashe squeezed her hand back and met her eyes. He listened as she spoke and took a moment to process, to think about what she was telling him. He took it in then took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I’m not walking away from this, from you.” He squeezed her hand again. “I’m going to be right beside you. Even if you decide you don’t want to be anything more than friends. I’m not stepping back from this or from you.”
---
Daryn wasn’t sure what she expected him to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. Unsure how to take it, she decided to worry about that later. Besides, things were getting entirely too serious at the moment. Smiling faintly again, she arched a brow at him. I don’t recall ever saying I didn’t want to be more than friends.
---
Ashe couldn't help but smile in response to her smile and her words. “No, you didn’t say anything of the sort. I’m just saying, you know, if you change your mind.” He bit his lip but was still smiling. “So does that make us more than friends?”
---
Smiling, Daryn shook her head a little and then leaned in to kiss him again slowly, her hand resting on his chest. She didn’t break the kiss to respond to him. Against my better judgement, I’d like to say yes. I’d like to try it, anyway. I should warn you though, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been… more than friends with someone.
--
Ashe returned the kiss easily, his hand moving up to gently cup her cheek. It was a little weird to have her speaking to him during the kiss but he didn’t mind at all. It would just take a little getting used to. He smiled against her lips then slowly pulled back from the kiss so he could answer her. “Well I don’t plan on dragging you to the altar or anything so I think we can handle that.” He grinned.
---
Daryn looked down with a smile, shaking her head. Sorry about that, I’ll try to be better about not talking and kissing at the same time. She laughed silently at his comment, her eyes lifting to meet his once again. I think you’ll probably come to your senses long before that happened.”
--
Ashe chuckled softly and brushed her hair back from her face again. “It’s fine. Just a bit … new.” He grinned. “And I can’t exactly respond very well that way. Just don’t make me laugh. That might not go over well.” He was still grinning when she raised her eyes to meet his again. “Oh I think all of my senses are working just fine.”
---
Smiling a bit more, Daryn shook her head. I wish I could say the same. I find myself getting very distracted the more I’m around you. Distracted in a good way, that is. I suppose I’m just not used to having someone specific to focus on, in this way. That makes no sense…. See? Prime example. I need to focus on being clear. It’s nice though, that’s what I’m trying to say.
---
Ashe kept smiling as she spoke. “Actually it makes sense. Or at least I can follow it. So that says something.” He chuckled softly then leaned in and kissed her again gently. “How about we just take it as it comes and go from there. No expectations except being honest with each other. I’m not looking to shackle you or hold you back. I just … want to be with you.”
---
Daryn moved her chair a little closer to Ashe before leaning in to return his softly. I can do that. But I seriously doubt you could ever hold me back. If anything, you’re helping me find the strength to move forward. And I don’t know how to repay you for that. She stole another quick kiss before sitting back with a grin. I want to be with you too, so, it’s a thing now. But maybe one of us should check on the food so that all your hard work doesn’t burn while we sit here making out like teenagers.
---
Ashe returned the kiss easily then smiled. “Well I’m glad for that and there’s nothing to repay me for. Just seeing you smile is enough.” He returned the quick kiss with a grin which changed to a laugh at her words. “Shit. We can’t have that.” He stole another quick kiss before getting up and nearly dashing into the kitchen. Fortunately nothing had burned. He moved the stew off the burner and pulled the cornbread out of the oven. “Are you hungry now or should I leave it for later?”
---
Daryn watched him go with an amused smile and followed behind slowly. I can always eat, I rarely turn down food. Since it wasn’t her kitchen, Daryn was hesitant for a moment before going about setting the table for them to eat. She’d make sure to clean up after and save Remy and Zayne some food so that he wouldn’t be annoyed with her.
--
“A woman after my own heart.” Ashe grinned at her then began getting everything into serving dishes before bringing it to the table. “I made a ton so there will be more than enough for Remy and Zayne to reheat if they want. I always make way more than is necessary.” Ashe smiled before pulling her chair out for her.
—-
Smiling, she took the offered seat. Everything looked delicious, as always. He really did spoil her with such good food. Thank you for that. They’ve both been so helpful to me since everything happened. Just as you and Oliver have. I hope to make it up to all of you someday soon.
--
Once she sat Ashe moved over to sit as well before serving up the food. He smiled at her thanks. “You’re so very welcome. We take care of those we care about. I think they would all say the same. And we all need to stick together around here. You’d do the same if similar happened to any one of us. I’m sure of it. And it feels good. Not the bad part. But being able to help out a friend.” He paused for a moment. “You made a comment to me about little things making a difference and it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Something like this? I’ve realized it does make a difference. Even if just to you and Remy and Zayne and Oliver. It’s still important.”
—-
Daryn watched Ashe as he spoke, arching a brow in surprise. You remembered that? I’m glad you did though, because I still believe it’s true. Thank you for reminding me of that. He was right, she would do the same for any one of them if they were in need. And maybe even if they weren’t, but she tried hard not to be too overbearing. Daryn had a difficult time accepting help from others, even when she needed it, but this was a humbling experience. She just needed to figure out a way to accept help without feeling like she ‘owed’ someone or had to pay them back.
--
Ashe smiled at her surprise and nodded. “Yeah, I remembered. It .. it meant a lot to me and I’ve done a lot of thinking about it. So it really stuck I guess.” He shrugged then smiled again. “You’re welcome, of course. Sometimes the best thing a friend can do is remind us of who we really are. And I have a feeling you have quite a few people around here who would do exactly that if and when you needed it.”
---
Daryn watched Ashe as he spoke, smiling softly. She resisted the urge to kiss him again and tried to focus her attention on the food instead so that they could enjoy the meal while it was still hot. She hesitated for a moment before digging in, being careful of her sore jaw. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had many friends to speak of. And now I suddenly find myself surrounded by them and it’s a strange, but positive feeling.
--
Ashe smiled when he started to eat the food. He had tried very hard to make sure he made something that she could eat without difficulty. And he didn’t want to go with the puree approach. Few people actually enjoyed that. As she spoke he smiled again and nodded. “I’ve never had very many friends so I kind of get what you’re saying. It’s … a bit overwhelming like when you smile so much your face hurts. It’s a good thing overall.”
---
Curiously, Daryn tilted her head as she studied Ashe. But you’re so nice, why haven’t you had many friends before? She understood what he meant about smiling so much, she did find herself doing that more often when around him. It was nice to be around someone who made her smile and forget about everything else that was going on around them.
--
“I’m not really that nice.” Ashe shrugged. “And I just...I’ve never really let people close. Its a defense mechanism that I learned at an early age.” Ashe looked down at his food for a moment. “I grew up in the foster system. And it wasn’t bad. I mean I was never treated badly. But people never stuck around long. So why let them get close when they’d just walk away from you?” He sighed softly. “I know not everyone is like that but … Oliver was really the first time I got close to someone.” He looked up at her again. “I realized I need people and that’s not a bad thing.”
---
Daryn reached out to take Ashe’s hand, squeezing it lightly. She wanted to do or say something to comfort him or reassure him, but she didn’t know what. She wanted to promise that she wasn’t going to abandon him, but she knew that wasn’t completely under her control. Especially with the way things were going on the island lately. So she begrudgingly said nothing and just held his hand.
--
Ashe squeezed her hand and smiled. “Thanks.” He said softly. “It’s taken me a lot and … meeting some people who have become important to me to realize that living behind a wall just makes you lonely and bitter. You can’t find something worth living for if you’re hiding from life.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if that made sense or sounded as good saying it out loud as it did in my head.”
---
Daryn didn’t know how to respond again, mostly because she was a little taken aback by what Ashe said and thought. She’d never thought about things like that, although she had done much the same for a long time. Squeezing his hand lightly, she offered a small smile. It made sense both ways.
--
“I keep making you go all quiet.” Ashe smiled a little sheepishly and squeezed her hand back. “I’m glad it made sense. I’m ...not usually this … introspective I suppose.” He let out a soft little laugh. “I blame you. Entirely. You really got me thinking and apparently I’m like a freight train.” He gave her a little crooked smile then leaned over to kiss her gently.
---
Each time you’ve made me speechless, it’s always been a very good thing. Daryn returned the kiss with a smile. It takes a lot for someone to catch a mindreader off guard, but you manage to do it time and again. Just one reason I like you.
--