Who: Zayne Vandriel and Daryn O’Connor What: Daryn is stubborn. When: January 5, 2018, late afternoon Where: Remy’s
Zayne had spent the morning in the coffee shop, cleaning it up and getting it set up. He was thinking that Sunday would be a good day to open it up again. He would have to contact the employees to see when they wanted to resume working. No one seemed too upset that he had taken over the shop. There were a few employees that offered to help and he appreciated it. He hadn’t been there the longest and maybe he had no entitlement to taking over but it felt important to him.
This morning he felt sluggish. He tried to pretend that he wasn’t. He spent the evening before trying to heal Thursday. He wasn’t able to heal both arms. He wasn’t entirely sure if he managed to heal the one arm completely but it seemed to be enough that Thursday regained use of his one arm without too much pain. It wasn’t long after that before Zayne crashed hard, barely remember going to bed. He definitely hadn’t wanted to wake up that morning but he didn’t want Remy to worry. Besides, he wanted to try to heal Daryn. He couldn’t be too tired to do that.
Zayne made himself a cup of coffee to go then made a second for Daryn and headed back to Remy’s. He knocked on the door and called out, “I brought coffee?”
--
After Phobia left that morning, Daryn made the mistake of opening that envelope. She should have just tried to relax and get some rest, but she never really did what she was supposed to do. Since then, she was not herself. Daryn felt like the rug had been torn out from under her and getting up again was a struggle. Everything she had worked her entire life for was gone now. But she refused to let anyone see how deeply this affected her.
Hearing the knock on the door, Daryn was startled out of her own head. Quickly wiping her eyes and pulling herself together, she slowly moved to answer the door. She had hoped that Remy and Zayne would forget about the whole healing thing, but apparently not. Unless he was here for Remy, then seeing Daryn instead was probably a big disappointment.
Unlocking and opening the door, she stepped back to allow him inside, with a faint, forced smile and offered a wave in greeting.
--
Zayne smiled at Daryn and offered the coffee. He felt nervous around Daryn, which he really didn’t know why. He knew her and Remy were friendly and that was probably it. He wanted to make a good impression on Daryn. He wanted to get along with Remy’s friends. He didn’t want them to not like him.
“I hope you don’t mind me swinging by,” Zayne said, “I know Remy is probably working still and I thought you may want the company? Or at least the coffee. I remember how you like it so I made it the same way.” Or maybe Daryn wanted some alone time. Or maybe she needed it so she could rest. Maybe he should have waited until later. Gone home and get some rest then swing by.
---
Closing and locking the door once more behind him, she took the coffee hesitantly with a nod of thanks. She hoped he didn’t feel like he was being trapped inside, just making sure the door was locked made her feel slightly better. Returning to the couch to sit, she assumed he would follow. Daryn hoped she didn’t look as much of a mess as she felt, but she was trying to focus on Zayne. She knew how important he was to Remy, so she wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t hurt Remy.
Finding her phone, she used it to speak to him. Thank you for the coffee, it was nice of you to remember how I take it. She wasn’t sure she was up for company right now, but since it wasn’t her house, she really had no right to tell him he couldn’t come by.
--
Zayne didn’t feel trapped inside. He understood locking the door. While he was working in the coffeehouse, he had the front door locked. It was glass, it would be easily broken if someone wanted to come in but it was still locked and that offered something. Zayne wondered how long it would take for people to feel safe again. Then he wondered if that was a stupid thought and people never truly felt safe here. That thought made him sad.
Zayne sat on the opposite end of the couch and smiled to her again, “It’s not a big deal. I couldn’t really come back here, or my place, without bringing you coffee. Are you feeling any better today?” It was another stupid question, he knew that. He didn’t know what to say exactly.
---
Daryn watched Zayne curiously, a little self-conscious about how badly she looked right now. At least they’re interacted enough times for him to know that she wasn’t usually such a mess. She paused to take a careful sip of the coffee, it was perfect and just how she liked it.
She hesitated before answering. She didn’t like lying to people, especially when it wasn’t necessary. But this was just small talk so she didn’t have to answer about everything. Yes, much better than the last few days. That was the truth, at least physically.
--
“I’m glad to hear that,” Zayne said, taking another drink of his coffee. The coffee didn’t seem to wake him up as much as it did other times. It didn’t the day Lenore stole his coffee either. Perhaps it was another kind of tired. He didn’t want to think about that now anyway. It had been a really hard week and it was probably just stress.
Zayne hesitated then said, “My offer from last night still stands? If you want? I know you said last night no and I probably really can’t even do much, I mean, I wasn’t even able to heal Thursday completely but I’ll try again. So even if I could do a little for you? I mean, just to make it a bit easier?” He wondered if he ought to shut up. Probably. He made the offer. Daryn could take him up on it or not.
---
Daryn watched Zayne as she drank more of her coffee. Sighing, she shook her head no. I appreciate the offer, I really do, but it’s not necessary. I should be able to heal myself, once I’m stronger. Hopefully. I understand your healing ability is something new to you? You shouldn’t try to do too much or push yourself too hard when you’re first learning. And don’t get discouraged, you’ll learn more in time.
--
Zayne wasn’t going to push her. He drew a leg up and rested his chin on his knee. He did wish she would let him try. Even if she could heal herself when she was stronger, she wasn’t there yet. He could give her that push. Couldn’t he? Or did he think too much of an ability he barely knew?
“I shouldn’t push too hard but there is so much pain out there right now,” Zayne said, “If I can help, even a little, then I would do it without hesitation. If I can help you, even a little, to get that strength so you can take over? Then it’s better than nothing, isn’t it?”
---
Setting her cup aside, Daryn frowned and looked down with a heavy sigh. She understood what he meant, she felt much the same about being a doctor. But now…
After a few moments of silence, she finally sent another message, not looking to him. There is so much pain out there right now. And no matter how many people you heal, it’s still going to be there. You can’t save everyone, and you can’t harm yourself trying to. You just have to find a balance, where you can do what you can for the few you can help, and just try to accept the rest will get their help from others.
--
Zayne shook his head and said, “I know I can’t save everyone,” sometimes it felt like he was just saying himself but that was a different thought, “but I can try with those who are around me, those who are important to me and those who are important to those close to me. You are definitely in that category. I know Remy is worried about you. Since I feel fine,” that wasn’t a complete truth but she didn’t necessarily need to know that, “it’s not a harm to myself to offer. But I will drop it if you really don’t want it. Even a little. I won’t force anything,” he smiled small, “I don’t think I could force anything if I tried but you know what I mean.” He also knew what she meant because if he could, he would run out to heal everyone but they were all keeping his ability a secret. It seemed safer that way for now.
---
Daryn listened carefully to what Zayne had to say, but she wasn’t changing her mind about it all just yet. She just nodded a little. I appreciate that you want to help. But if you’re just learning about your abilities and how to use them, it’s probably not a good idea to use them on anything big. You’re just going to risk harming yourself in the process, or however your side effects work. I know that when I heal a serious injury or illness, I feel some of the effect of that for a while after. I certainly don’t want to wish my pain on anyone else since I can tolerate it myself.
--
Zayne was quiet. He was pretty sure the only side effect he had felt was just that real tiredness. He had slept hard for a few days after Fitz. He slept after helping Remy and he slept hard last night and he still felt tired. But tired wasn’t a big deal. He could ignore it. The only thing he needed to worry about was trying to hide it from Remy so he didn’t get worried. Or try to tell him he shouldn’t try to use his abilities to help. He was aware that was probably very stupid but whatever he could do and, really, this was the only thing he could do.
“I suppose also you probably don’t want me to use abilities I don’t even really know how to use,” Zayne said, “That’s understandable,” he paused, “How did you learn? What did you do to get a control of your ability?”
---
Daryn nodded but qualified her agreement. I just don’t want you to feel obligated. And learning to use abilities is a very personal thing. You need to do it at your pace, and on your time, not because there’s suddenly a bunch of problems that need your help. You’ll be more effective in the end if you do things at your pace, and pay attention to your body and your mind to know what your limits are.
Daryn hesitated in responding to his question because she was rarely one to follow her own advice. At least she would be honest with him about that. </i>At first, I didn’t even realize I was using an ability. I thought I just got really, really good at treating patients.</i> It was a silly thought now, but that was how it had come about. Once I knew I could do it, I was pretty foolish about it. I pushed myself to help people with severe illnesses and injuries and ended up making myself hurt or sick in the process. And I tried to practice by healing injuries of my own… things I did on purpose to test it out. Also not a smart idea. It’s still not completely controlled, but I know what I can do well and comfortably, and what is too much, so I work gradually. But I am stubborn and foolish, so I tend to push myself too hard, in everything. So I try not to encourage that in others.
--
Zayne listened carefully and he could understand what Daryn was saying. He glanced at the coffee he brought and knew if he listened to himself that this tiredness was more than him not sleeping well. He also knew that a big part of him didn’t care, which was what she was warning him against.
“I don’t feel obligated,” Zayne said after a moment, “I want to help you. I want to help,” he looked down for a moment then reached for his coffee. He took a sip then said, “Though I think your way may be the best way for me to learn. I can’t exactly go to the Facility and ask for training. I suppose I could but…” then we won’t be keeping it a secret from the government. He wondered if Daryn knew about that bit. He assumed she did.
---
Daryn took another long drink from her coffee and studied Zayne as he spoke. When he was through, she debated on how to respond. She didn’t feel like she had any right to be doling out advice, even though she already had just now. But she was trying to be more thoughtful about it. Zayne didn’t know her, he had no reason to trust her or her opinions. Opinions he hadn’t asked for. There is training available elsewhere. Not everything we do around here has to be so closely monitored by the government. Especially when it’s just to learn more about yourself and to help others.
--
Zayne didn’t want to admit he felt rather blind to this underside of the island, of things that weren’t common knowledge. He felt silly for not seeing it before. Or not wanting to see the darker side. He also didn’t want to mention that he knew anything because he didn’t know who was in the Faction, he knew it was a deeply guarded secret and even if the rest of the Faction didn’t want him in it, he would guard that secret.
So he merely nodded and said, “I’m not entirely sure where to go for that,” he paused. Oh, he might as well say it, “I haven’t been here for very long and I think I closed my eyes to too much,” he looked down at his coffee cup, “That sounds terrible to say, I’m sorry.”
---
Daryn furrowed her brow, but then shook her head no with a little smile. You don’t need to apologize for that. Having to come here is a huge adjustment, we all view it in a different way, and we all adjust and adapt in different ways. Maybe you’re just a little more hopeful than most, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s too easy to get caught up in the darkness. Deciding not to dwell on that too much, she offered him another small smile of encouragement. If you want to find training outside of the facility, I know Remy can help you with that.
--
“You have been here since the beginning, haven’t you?” Zayne asked. He couldn’t imagine what that would be like. Maybe there would be a day when they would be able to leave the island. Or at least where having too much hope didn’t seem so silly. Funny how he was told he was more hopeful than most when before he didn’t think he was a very hopeful person. Maybe Zayne just had more hope for the future.
Zayne smiled softly at the mention of Remy and nodded, “I’m sure he will. I don’t want to be a bother to him. I know he’s busy with work and he’s been helping me with the coffee shop too.”
---
Daryn nodded in response to his question. That felt like a lifetime ago, and she was a completely different person then. It was hard to remember how she felt, other than afraid. It didn’t feel like it would be very helpful to share that with him.
Daryn arched a brow at Zayne’s mention of being a bother to Remy, and shook her head no. I don’t like to speak for others, but I can guarantee that you are not a bother to him. At all.
--
Zayne smiled shyly at Daryn’s comment. He really hoped not. He knew he had been a bit needy this last week and he hadn’t really been home much. He also knew Remy seemed to want him around. Maybe they were both needy in light of everything and there was nothing wrong with clinging to things, or people, that gave them happiness.
“Thank you for saying that,” Zayne said, “I know you are right,” he cut himself off and took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t need to overthink anything here. “Maybe instead I should be asking you what sort of foods you like. I can make dinner for you and Remy.” Though with Daryn’s hurt face, Zayne was thinking something like soup would be in order.
---
Daryn was glad that she had gotten to meet Zayne officially, even if it wasn’t under the best circumstances. She could see why Remy liked him, he was a sweetheart. Daryn shook her head a little. You don’t have to worry about me, but I bet Remy hasn’t been eating as well as he should so focus on making something he would like.
--
“I’ll worry about both of you,” Zayne said with a smile, “So maybe I should ask what foods you don’t like? Or have allergies to? Or if you are horribly opposed to vegan?” There were people who were insistent on meat and he would cook her something if that’s what she wanted but since he knew Remy liked vegan, and he did too, if Daryn wasn’t opposed, it was easier to make something for the three of them. “How do you feel about applesauce?” The idea accrued to him before. He would need to find a recipe and to get apples but he could make that and it would be easy enough for Daryn to eat too.
---
Daryn thought it was sweet that Zayne wanted to make sure she had something that she could eat given her jaw injury. But she’d done fine with just liquidy and soft foods so far, so she didn’t want him to go to any extra trouble. I am probably the least picky person ever when it comes to food. I’m not really opposed to anything, and I don’t have any allergies. I like apples, so I think it would be fine.
--
“I’m glad to hear that then,” Zayne said, “I’ve actually learned to like cooking and, well, Remy told me that he cooks via the microwave. So bringing in some real food here will help you too. Both of you.” Maybe he should try to bring food by Thursday’s too. Though he didn’t know if Thursday’s friend could cook. He didn’t want to invade too much. He might be up all tonight cooking just to make sure.
---
Daryn smiled a little and nodded. I don’t think he’s much better than I am when it comes to cooking. I know how to use my stove, I just don’t very often. Which would be even longer now after the damage to her place, but that was really the least of her worries. It’s very nice of you to cook for us, I really appreciate it.
--
“I don’t mind doing it. After,” slightly pause, “I moved out of my parents’ house, I realised that I had a lot of time on my hands and I also realised that I had no idea how to cook,” Zayne laughed lightly, “I ate entirely too many Big Macs at first until I made myself start to cook.” It was then he began to read more about food and he became a vegan. He did miss Big Macs once in a while. He missed them more now but without a MacDonalds, it was easier to ignore the temptation.
---
Daryn smiled faintly as Zayne shared about himself. She had never been very big on fast food, but it was one of the first things she’d missed when coming to Destruction. By now, it was a faint memory. There was a time in my life where I think I ate nothing but vending machine food for a year. I never did have the time to spend in the kitchen. Maybe it’s something I can take up now. Not that she wanted to, but she knew she’d have to do something with all of this newfound free time.
--
Zayne smiled, thinking back of all the times on the road. A lot of the times they would have quick bites. His mom once tried to pack a picnic for them but Jefferson got hungry and ate half of it before they stopped. That was back when things were easier.
“I’m sorry about your job,” Zayne said, “You will be greatly missed, I’m sure.” He didn’t know what else to say but he wished he had something better to say.
---
Daryn’s smiled faded quickly and she looked away. After a moment, she finally typed a response for him. Thank you. Needing to change the subject, Daryn tried to think of something else to talk about that wouldn’t feel quite so difficulty. Hopefully. How did you and Remy meet?
--
“The coffee shop,” Zayne said, letting the subject change. There was nothing more that needed to be said and he didn’t want to push the topic when it clearly upset her, “He had been coming in for coffee for a while and we started talking and,” and he read my mind, which was unnerving at first because secrets, “yeah. Did you two meet at work?” Different kind of meeting but a meeting all the same.
---
Daryn nodded both in response to his reply and his question. Something like that anyway, if you counted the Faction as work. Remy was one of the first people I became friends with when I came here. He’s the only one still around. While it was a sad statement, they had both already done their mourning for their lost friends. He’s a wonderful person. She was tempted to say more, but the relationship between Zayne and Remy was their business, not hers.
--
Zayne smiled softly and said, “He is,” he ducked his head slightly, “I’ll spare you from me gushing about him. It’s probably something most people don’t want to hear anyway.” Though it did show how much Zayne cared and liked Remy. It had been a long time since he felt this way about anyone.
“I will say he seems very loyal and brave. I feel lucky to know him,” Zayne did add.
---
Daryn’s smiled returned as Zayne spoke about Remy. It’s okay. Gushing is nice, there’s not a lot of nice things to hear around here lately. And he speaks very highly of you, as well. He is one of my closest friends, so I’m glad to know that he has met someone who cares for him.
--
Zayne ducked his head again. He felt flattered that Remy spoke highly of him and he was glad that Daryn approved of him. Or, at least, that was what he was taking from this. He smiled softly and said, “There isn’t a lot of nice things lately but as long as we have friends and people we care about that helps a lot.” At least that was his hope.
---
Daryn did approve of Zayne, not that she thought she really had any say in the matter anyway. She nodded in agreement and sighed. We all just need to look out for our friends and family, and do the best we can to keep them safe. Finishing off the remainder of her coffee, she set the empty cup aside and rubbed her forehead. She wasn’t used to being so tired all the time, but she knew it was due to her injuries and the healing process.
--
“We will do that,” Zayne said, looking sad for a moment, “Maybe we need to start a buddy system when people go out. That’s sad to say,” he shook his head. He saw her rub her forehead. She had to be tired. He smiled softly and said, “Did you want to rest? I should go to the kitchen and start making food. And more coffee because my cup is sadly low.”
---
Daryn hesitated before nodding. She didn’t want to be rude, but she also couldn’t deny that she did need to rest. A buddy system is a good idea. Daryn preferred to be independent and come and go as she pleased, but now she was beginning to rethink that approach. At least for now. Going out in pairs wouldn’t necessarily prevent anything from happening, but maybe it would provide people with a little more sense of safety and connection with each other.
--
It was sad that it was a good idea but until things felt safer, it may be the only option to keep everyone safe. Zayne stood up and rubbed his hands on his pants.
“Do you want me to get you anything?” Zayne asked. He didn’t want to make her feel like she couldn’t do it herself but he wanted to help and it wasn’t like she could yell to the kitchen. He would pop his head out, just to make sure. All he wanted to do was help.
---
Daryn shook her head no with a small smile. No, thank you though. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. And I promise to stay out of your way in the kitchen. It was a little joke, since Daryn had no intention of going into the kitchen or doing much more than getting some rest.
--
“Let me know if that changes,” Zayne said before ducking off to the kitchen. He found his earphones and put on some music, low, just in case he did need to hear Daryn’s phone speak. He set to work in the kitchen, making sure there was different for them tonight and extra foods for Daryn to eat, including homemade applesauce.