Rupert looked off to the side, a look of sorrow coming over him as he began to speak.
"You see, they... they ruined this very important chair of mine... I was getting it moved into my office, and..." His lip trembled as the painful memory came into focus. "...a flock of pigeons swooped by and carelessly defacated all over its back. Do you have any idea what pigeon feces does to a fine leather chair?"