MERCENARY FOR HIGHER! Need someone dead? I'm your guy! Need a hot date? They call me Merc with a mouth for more than just one reason.

Don't be shy, call this guy! For a fee. Always a fee.

ULTRA SUPER MEGA IMPORTANT!

Has anybody seen my sweet ride!

My poor baby vespa is out there all alone in this big scary world! It's super important that she is returned to me. I last parked her inside the new Vespa dealership next to a row of three others.

Oh and if the manager starts yelling at you about needing to pay for it before driving off the lot. Ignore that, he just wants the reward money all to himself.

Yes kiddies you heard that right, Reward money! Pleasepaymeonlyincash.