It's weird, but nice, to be living in a place where nobody's actively trying to kill us or lock us up or kick us out or kidnap us to the Mojoverse yet again. And kind of boring, actually.

So we made up a game. It's called "my universe or not?". Obvious examples are obvious -- Captain America? Our universe. Super Man? Not. M-Town Movie Shack? Ours. Gotham City Pizzeria? Obviously not, but pretty good, even though the crust is too thick and soft. This is not Chicago, Gotham City Pizzeria, get your act together. The Chinese guy with the taquería stand two blocks down? Unable to pin him down, but his salsa verde is one of the best I've had outside Mexico, so I'm willing to claim him for my side. Never leave me, Chinese taco guy.

You can do this for anything. Try it out.

This is the one that stumps me: Donald Trump, potential next president of the USA. First of all, is this really a thing that's happening in any universe, and if so, why? Second, I could actually see it being from ours just from past experience with my world's dumb politics, but I'm kind of hoping this one is on the other world.

For anyone who might be wondering, do not feed those moth things. Unless you want a cuddly, slightly spooky, glittery buddy to follow you everywhere. And boy does that powdery stuff from their wings get everywhere. I look like I've been through a craft store explosion.

MERCENARY FOR HIGHER! Need someone dead? I'm your guy! Need a hot date? They call me Merc with a mouth for more than just one reason.

Don't be shy, call this guy! For a fee. Always a fee.

This summer is lasting longer than the one on Game of Thrones, and that's saying something. I feel like the Stark family may have been lying to us this whole time.

( Private to Oracle, Zatanna, Nightwing )

[Texts to Oracle]
→ This is Ric.
→ Overdid it, stuck in Russia recovering, will return plane when I can.
→ Sorry I couldn't help more.

Worst case scenario ideas for the survival of the human race:

1) Move underground. Become mole people, cultivate mushrooms.
2) Move underwater. Atlantis can be bribed into taking some of us, I'm sure.
3) Move to space. There have to be some alien species that would take us.
4) Resistance is futile. All hail our new cockroach overlords.

I'm joking. Mostly.

Also, hi from Córdoba. Beautiful town, pretty quiet, not a lot of rioting, now in possession of a lovely artesian lake where their football stadium used to be. Oops? Viva Argentina.

( Private to Oracle )

I know we're all focused on the vermin problem and the squishy-universes problem, but can we take a minute to discuss how awesome this reality is for retro movie buffs right now? There's a Mad Max sequel out. There's a Jurassic Park sequel out. The next Star Wars movie comes out this year and it might actually be good.

I came back to the best Earth. This is the brightest timeline. If anybody needs me, I'll be marathoning. Break glass in case of emergency, you know the drill.

( PRIVATE : Zatanna )

Man, I bet Star would love these mutant rat things. We hit up a world with a serious squid infestation a couple years-ish(?) back, it was hilarious watching his eyes light up. Kid in a candy shop.

Speaking of Star: anybody seen a tall white guy around, red hair, muscles, one glowy eye, one facial tattoo, four blades, a million bad pickup lines, answers to Shatterstar? If you do, send him my way.

In other news and a supremely weird twist of fate, I guess I'm doing some contracting for the Avengers and the Justice League now. On a very temporary basis. I'm not joining up no matter how much you all beg to have me.