beforeisleep ;; margery 'maggie' mckinnon (beforeisleep) wrote in daysthatwere, @ 2012-04-11 22:55:00 |
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Dante’s words resounded in Felix’s head as he sat at the pub - alone - drinking. How lame was that? He was getting pissed alone because stupid Maggie was going on stupid dates. This was so .. stupid. He was going to tell her but then her mum came in all scary and and took her and the baby home and that had just sort of ruined everything. Felix felt that moving on was probably his best move right now. But now she was dating? In front of him? Well, maybe not in front of him, but he would’ve liked to be blissfully unaware of the fact. And now she wanted him to have the baby Saturday so she could have MORE DATES? This annoyance had sent him straight to the pub. Now stumbling home after doing more shots than he should’ve with some random group of blokes, going home was a good idea, but going to Maggie’s house was an even better idea, a whiskey-induced thought anyways. He didn’t even know what time it was. Midnight, maybe? Somehow, Felix ended out of the McKinnons cottage. Praying to any deity that was up in the Heavens that only Maggie would answer the door, he knocked loudly twice, then realized the baby was sleeping, so knocked again, this time softer. “Maggie,” Felix called through the door, leaning on it and closing his eyes. “Maggie,” he said again, this time not as loud. Maggie first heard the loud knock and practically jumped in her chair. Leo was in her bedroom sleeping, and so the room was far enough from the front door that he wouldn’t wake up. But the knock cutting through the quiet conversation between herself and mother was enough to scare her. You didn’t have a former Auror for a mother or have your father killed at an early age and not be cautious about visitors this late at night. She didn’t react however until she heard him speak. What the hell was Felix doing here? Assuring her mother she’d handle this, she approached the door with much caution before she took a peep through the side window. Oh, he looked like hell. Still, she hesitated a bit before opening the door a crack. The door opened a crack, causing Felix to nearly fall over. He very quickly shot up, trying to straighten himself out. Using the door frame as support, he squinted at the door. “Maggie. Look, I don’t want to come in or anything. I know you probably had a date or something and that’s fine. But I need to tell you something. I love you. I’m in love with you. I never stopped loving you. I always loved you, even when I left, I hated myself. You have no idea how much I hated myself.” He was rambling now, and pretty soon, his word vomit would probably turn into regular vomit, hopefully somewhere far away from here. “I don’t expect you to tell me you love me back. In fact, you probably hate me. But, I just need to tell you this because Dante says I need to stop whining about this, man up, and tell you how I feel.” Should he go now? He should probably stumble home. Maggie was most definitely not prepared for his verbal vomit. And when it came out, she opened the door wider shaking her head. “Wait. What? What are you talking about? What the hell happened to you?” Had she even heard him correctly or was he speaking in slurs and her brain was just substituting what it thought she would want to hear? She opened the door wider and grabbed onto his arm before he fell over. “You what?” “Oh, I just had a couple of shots,” Felix told her, waving his hand dismissively and frowning. “Made some new friends, you know.” Letting her grab his arm, he leaned against the door frame. Falling in front of Maggie would be extremely embarrassing. Actually, this was extremely embarrassing as it was. Mortifying, really. He would wake up in the morning and it wouldn’t just be the hangover he would think about. But at least he’d have some closure if things didn’t go the way he wanted it to. He frowned again at her question. Hadn’t she heard him? “Maggie. I don’t know how many times I can tell you this. I love you. If you don’t love me back or want to be with me, then we’ll just go back to being acquaintances. Yeah?” That was probably what she wanted anyways, Felix to stop butting into her business. She had not heard wrong after all. That he was sorry for leaving her and that he wanted to be in her son’s life, yes, that could be believable. But confessing that he still loved her just shook her up, especially when she had been battling that feeling when she found out he was back. For a while, she could do nothing but stare at him as her brain processed this information... … and told her it wasn’t true. He was drunk and he didn’t know what he was saying. And no, she definitely didn’t love him. He had the audacity to leave the first time. He could have his son in his life but not. Her.. Maggie glanced behind her in the general direction of the room in which her mother was sitting, just torn about whether it would be a good idea to call her. Or not call her and just talk things through with Felix with nobody interrupting. But what was there to talk about? “Go home, Felix,” she said, looking back at him. “I... call Dante or Arkie instead of apparating, but just. Go home.” The failure of what Felix had just done probably wouldn’t hit him completely until tomorrow. Right now, he was just numb. He shrugged, pushing himself off of the door knob and planning to just walk to the nearest pub so he could just floo home. That was his answer right? If she felt the same way, she would’ve told him. “Well, thanks, for the closure,” Felix told her, making sure he didn’t fall off the step as he walked backwards. “Tell Leo I love him.” The last part was said in a rather mournful voice. He would bounce back from this, he knew. He just needed some time. Then he turned around, and walked off. “That’s not-- You don’t just--” Maggie shut her mouth right after that. She was annoyed now, still shaken up but now she just wanted to shove him. He did not just bloody drop such a bomb on her and expect an answer right away, especially not after what he had put her through! But it was clear that he was expecting something right fucking away, so, what the hell was she supposed to say to him right now? It wasn’t so much that he expected her to fall into his arms and declare her eternal love for him, but he would’ve at least wanted something -- anything, really. Anything that would give him hope. And maybe it was better this way, he felt. Stopping, he turned around one more time to look at her. Merlin, he was emo. Really, Felix? You’re going to see her this weekend.. He shook his head at himself. It was time to stop being so pathetic. He was tired of dwelling on Maggie. She’d made it clear to him that she wanted nothing romantic between them and it was time for Felix to accept this. “Don’t.... get yourself splinched.” That was all that she could come up with to say before she closed the door. It took a few deep breathes and glaring at the door before she was able to do or think of anything else. That stupid, stupid boy. Maggie suddenly let out a laugh that ended with a hiccup when she felt a lump forming in her throat. She was having a good day. Tonight’s date went okay, even if she didn’t see it going forward anywhere. Which was still okay because she had a date with Stuart later in the week who she quite liked. And then Felix Hopkirk just had to drop out of nowhere and tell her, after over a year, that he loved her. She debated kicking the door in frustration, but, half afraid that she’d fling it open and run after him to see if he was okay, she decided against it and headed for her room. |