emmeline bridget vance (potionere) wrote in daysthatwere, @ 2012-11-02 00:41:00 |
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Caleb came in from the lavatory, teeth scrubbed and having washed the day’s insanity off of him. All of the days seemed crazy now as he moved closer to his departure date - crazy for staying, crazy for having left sooner, crazy for feeling tied to this place. He’d lived here, in this building, for so long. Wales was his home for nearly his whole life. She knew that he wanted to talk to her about something, but having that anticipation hanging over him didn’t do much for his tongue. It wanted to stay quite in place, thank you. He pushed into the bedroom with a deep breath and went to sit on the bed. “Hey,” he said, wanting to do the comforting-touch-to-the-arm thing and thinking that would be counterproductive. Emmeline had been reading again. And yet, not reading. She’d been doing that a lot. The book would be open and her eyes would skim over the words but there would be nothing taken in. More and more people were dying and there was no telling whether she’d be next or if anyone in her family would be next. Or either of the two that she was living with. When Caleb walked in, she pretended to be completely engrossed into the book. The fact was that there was way too much for them to talk about. It seemed like it hadn’t just ended at the moving-in talk from earlier that month that had resolved itself fairly quickly. There was still more to discuss. And yet, Emme was perfectly fine with pushing stuff back as much as she possibly could. And when he finally spoke, she turned her head to look at him and gave him a smile. “Hey yourself,” she said, closing the book, and then leaned over to give him a kiss. He took the kiss. Hell, it could be his last one. He pulled back and examined his somewhat-girlfriend, cozy in his bed, book closed on her lap, pyjamas. It had become such a routine, so monotonous in the way that relationships became. Caleb was used to eschewing monotony in theory, but not altogether in practise. “I have some news,” he said, lips buttoning up as he folded his legs indian-style on the bed. He knew that Kent wouldn’t be listening up, but he couldn’t help but feel a little like there were ears on this conversation. Maybe from God, who knew? “I applied for some jobs while I was in America.” That came as no surprise to Emmeline, but she raised her eyebrows, nonetheless. If you were not at least a good liar, you did not belong in the Order. She made it this far, and that meant she had to be good at putting up an act. “Really?” She curled her legs under as she turned to face him, leaning to the side against the pillow. “Which ones?” “Dream jobs. They have a lot more private companies that do research than Britain does. Less government centralised, but government-funded a lot of the times. Though.” He took a breath. “Though the one I got is with a government agency, so they’ll still be the bureacracy.” “That’s fantastic news, Caleb,” Emmeline started, giving him a smile. It was curious and hesitant because she knew he had a point to get to. It didn’t seem like “hey I got a job” was the end of this conversation. “You’re... going to take it?” He nodded slowly, not quite returning the smile. “I have to. It’s NASA. The fact that they even know my name is almost brilliant enough. That they have a use for me, that I’ll be involved in... I mean, it’s Space. Proper Space, not... theoretical modeling of things. Rockets and robots for real. The cutting edge of... well, everything.” Caleb found himself smiling by the end of the explanation in spite of himself. He really, really couldn’t be more excited for the job; the only way it could be more perfect was if it’d come along before he was hurt. His heart would probably never survive the trip. “What do you think of California?” he asked off-handedly. Well, she had to give it to him. His excitement was contagious, and Emmeline’s smile matched his. “That is fucking incredible, Caleb, and sounds absolutely you.” Before she could add onto that with a comment on how Ted might possibly be jealous, he cut her off with his question. “I’ve never been to any part of America, admittingly, but California... I heard it’s really warm there. Earthquakes on occasion since they’re right along a fault line, but I’d say it’s up there on my places to see right under Peru and Chin--” She suddenly stopped mid-ramble. Admittingly, she was expecting this conversation to take a turn for the worse, for her to end up like Catherine (sans death) and for Caleb to tell her what they had was going to be over soon. But asking her about California didn’t sound like she was going to get drop-kicked out the door. “Are you... are you asking me because you...” “Want you to come?” he finished the statement, shifting slightly. His heartbeat was starting to take a turn for the irregular, he could feel it in his chest. He leaned back against the wall and stretched his legs out in front of him. “Would you?” That was it. That was the point where she had to make a decision. Because she was pretty sure that if she said anything that sounded hesitant for even a bit, this could fall apart. So, Emmeline didn’t answer right away, but looked down at her hands that were clutching her book like it was a lifesaver, lost in thoughts. There was no way her father would want to go. Definitely not Felix either, without Roger and Gretchen. Would they be safer here? Wouldn’t they be off their guard without her around? But what if her leaving would help pull them in the same direction. She thought of her best friend, Benjy, and Fabian and Gideon. The former had been hidden safely and they still managed to get to him, while the latter two were amazing duelists and yet they were still taking down. And she was only getting so much training from Frank now. And then there was Caleb, a somewhat separate matter. He’d be in absolute danger if he stayed, especially if anyone found out she was seeing him. Yet, if it already hurt her so much to love him while he was still sleeping in the same bed as her, it would hurt even more if he was so far. In either case, she still wouldn’t know where exactly she’d stand. She’d spent years putting herself at a huge risk if she was caught as a vigilante working with the Order, helping take down Death Eaters because guaranteed that the Ministry was already infiltrated and it would do them shit. And now, their own group had been infiltrated too. Maybe it was time she started being a little more selfish. Finally, after several seconds that probably felt like several hours, Emmeline looked back up at Caleb. “Yes.” It had felt like hours indeed, even if he could count every second perfectly, but with the answer come, he was both altogether pleased and surprised and... well. Caleb had to get to his feet and dig out a potion from his store in the top drawer because now he was going to come the kicker and apparently, remaining calm and collected wasn’t going to do shit to help him. He drank it and leaned his body against the counter of the chest of drawers and dropped the last bit. “Because we’re leaving the first of November.” She hadn’t expected that as a reaction. As a matter of fact, she quite nearly panicked when she saw him go for his phials. And then when he spoke again, she was mildly distracted by that. “Um... okay, that’s. Wait, that’s less than a week away.” He closed the drawer and turned about to go back to the bed. “Yeah. You know... both of us have dodged death enough. And... my job doesn’t start until the first of the year but.” The feeling of his potion hitting his blood stream, smoothing out his heart beat into steady rhythm but did nothing altogether to stop his heart from pounding. “But what are we doing but waiting to die?” He shrugged his shoulder. “Nothing.” Caleb sat on the bed. “That trip did a number on both of us. You forget what it’s like to live here, caught in the slog of war. You remember what it is to look at a night sky at the full moon? Walk home from the pub? Wonder if the person across from you isn’t plotting the demise of all Muggleborns? Because I didn’t.” Emmeline wasn’t stupid. She knew leaving had been in their minds for a while. Truth be told, it was in her’s too. It was in a lot of people’s minds lately. And if the departure date was set for the first of November, they must have been getting things sorted out for a while. She listened to him talk and once again she took a moment to think things over in her head before she moved closer to him to give him another kiss. “Caleb,” she started, separating right after. “I’ll come. I really will. And if it takes me a day or two longer to get things done before I leave, then I’ll meet you there.” And there it was. Simple as that. Strangely simple as that. “This... isn’t how I expected this conversation to go,” he replied, a definitely surprised but also maybe slightly awed, too. “You’re supposed to protest a little harder and wring your hands a bit more, you know? How you can’t bear to leave your life behind and who’d look after your Dad and... I dunno.” Caleb reached up and cupped her cheek thoughtfully, thumb rubbing over the apple. “A hundred other reasons.” Emmeline laughed. She was pretty sure she hadn’t expected it to go this way either. “You know... I’ve been thinking about leaving this country for a while now too.” That part was probably not something one would laugh at. Because every time she heard of another death, particularly from Order members, it pretty much validated that they might not win this war after all. “There might be a hundred other reasons. But right now, none of them are looking all that convincing. My family...” Emmeline paused to let out an exasperated sigh. “Who knows, maybe if I leave, they will too, but I’ve had that discussion with both of them already. They shook their heads at me trying to convince them and basically said that if I wanted to leave, I could but they’re staying right where they are.” She shrugged. “So.. so that’s what I’m going to do. And if St. Mungo’s could get attacked once, it could happen again. And... it’s starting to become less of the job I wanted when my closest friends are not there with me anymore.” And finally, there was this other reason for wanting to go instead of staying. Emmeline brought up her arms, reaching out to him in a hug. “And you know, I don’t think I can stand being here without you,” she mumbled into his shoulder. What could he do but hold her and stroke her hair when she said something like that? Women were occasionally the worst thing that ever happened to men, but they were also, in that shade of need, in the way they fit against you, in their perfect balance of antithesis and similarity, the very best. He closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. “Then I guess you’d better come with me.” Feeling that wasn’t enough, he pulled back and attempted to kiss her gently, but ended up kissing her for all he was worth. |