Joss felt like a hole had been ripped in him, dark and bottomless and full of sorrows. Old wounds and old memories - she'd opened her eyes, right? He'd been so sure he'd opened her eyes. But everyone said she'd been dead long before he got there. Both times. Both girls. It was just... his head. It was just his hope. It was just stupid and too big to deal with.
At least there was enough of him still in his head that he could be a little bit embarrassed that Helena had to look after him. He really wanted to keep crying but he could save it all up for later, when he wasn't at work.
He raked his face dry with the hem of his shirt, straightening up slowly, shakily. Leon was right, he shouldn't have come to work today. "Thanks," he said, his voice twisted through his raw throat. "Sorry. Fuck."