Rupert stood there as she spoke, talking about him as though he hadn't done anything in their relationship, hadn't compromised on anything. What the bloody hell was she on about? Didn't she realize how much he had risked letting her into his life? How much he had let her see that he hadn't allowed anyone to?
"Compromise on what, Fred?" he asked lowly. "I've let you into a part of my life I've never let anyone into. I've allowed someone to know things about me that I could never afford to before because it wasn't safe. I've opened--I've...you've become a part of my life in a way that no one else ever could. What more do you want from me?"
He ran his hand over his face as he paced away to the window, looking out at the city he adopted so many years ago. "I can't leave, Fred. I can't give you that life. I know too much about too many powerful people, and so long as I'm giving them something that they want, I'm safe. If I stop...I become a liability, and liabilities...they're to be expended with." He turned to look at her. "Don't you think if I could give you any of that myself, I could? If I could afford to leave..."
He didn't know what to do. He felt so lost and unsure, and he had never felt this way about anything - not since he had given up on Cambridge and started down the road that had led him to where he was today. "My life was always tightly controlled to ensure that I lived. It's not because I want it that way. It's because it's the way it has to be. And then you came in, and you broke through my walls, and suddenly, I didn't have to be alone anymore. I..."
He took a deep breath, feeling as though everything inside of him was about to be ripped out if she did leave him. "You're the only one I've ever thought I could marry. I don't want you to leave. I want you to be my wife."