Gift For:hamimifk Title: Wake Author: Secret! Pairing(s): R,S/S,L/possible L,R Summary: Remus receives a visit and a new beginning at what seems to be the end. Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Main Character death, dub-con, explicit sexual content, language Author/Artist's notes: Thanks to a and b, the star betae that make my writing legible. hamimifk I hope you enjoy this!
In the yellow light that filtered into the dingy room, she looked sickly.
"You're dead," Remus noted, wondering if it was the Firewhisky that was keeping him from leaping from the bed in a panic. Even at Hogwarts, where the ghosts were friendly, he'd always felt uneasy around them.
"Yes," replied Lily, "I suppose I am. Does it bother you?"
"A little," Remus admitted. "How long have you been here?"
In the dark, Remus could feel himself blushing. He shifted in the bed and winced. Snape had not been gentle.
"I want to hear you beg for it," Snape growled. "I want to hear you moan."
Remus shuddered as Snape bit down on his shoulder. He'd never wanted Snape, the whinging, greasy, obnoxious, back-hexing Slytherin prat.
But the feel of his hands, the swift surety that he showed as Snape unbuckled his belt, drove Remus wild as he bucked against Snape.
"Did you enjoy it?" Lily asked incuriously, almost as if she was being polite: Would you like another cup of tea?
"Sort of, I suppose. He's not very gentle."
"It's different with me now. I don't feel…" She trailed off. "He's angry."
"So am I."
"But Severus is angry with me. He needs me. You know that Severus would never betray me."
"So he said."
"You believe him." Lily moved to the other side of the bed where Snape slept, the lines of anger and worry erased for the moment. Her smile was gentle.
Remus shifted uncomfortably. He'd never even liked the foul git, but the need in the other man's eyes…
"I do," he replied. "Merlin help me, I believe him."
It had been awkward as hell, at first. Both of them were drunk. Both of them were angry.
"You betrayed them," Remus hissed, shoving Snape against the wall of the Leaky.
"Get your filthy hands off of me," Snape snapped, fighting back. "I didn't know where they were! And despite what you think, you filthy animal, I loved her."
"That's a lie, Snape."
"Don't call me a liar!"
They were standing in the alley, locked in an embrace, when it seemed to Remus that something snapped.
"I loved her," Snape said again. "I loved her, I loved her!" Something inside Remus cracked.
"Severus, I'm…" Remus tried to apologize, to say something, anything, leaning his forehead against the other man's.
Snape's kiss was fierce. Remus should not have been surprised that he made the first move.
Both of them broke the kiss, gasping for breath, eyes wild.
Remus growled and, grasping the other man's head in his hands, kissed him again.
He never quite remembered how they reached the room.
"He needs you," Lily said, reaching out to the sleeping man. Her hand hovered over him in benediction.
Remus chuckled softly. As if Snape needed anybody.
"Because he can't have you?" Remus asked, resentment flooding him. Lily had always had an unhealthy interest in Snape. He reached for the Firewhisky bottle. Another swallow; the fierce pain of the liquor would soothe the ache.
"Do you fucking like this, Lupin? Do you like my cock in you?"
Remus hadn't been able to respond. The feeling of Snape's breath, hot on his back, the cutting of the leather belt around his wrists, engulfed him as Snape pushed into him. The thrusts were wild, without rhythm, until Remus groaned and tightened his arse. Snape came, sobbing Lily's name.
Lily looked up from her perusal of Snape's sleeping face.
"He loves me."
Lily's hand strayed to her abdomen as a small smile flickered across her face.
"I thought once that we would… that he and I could…"
Remus' stomach clenched. Had that filthy Slytherin laid a finger on Lily? His friend? His compass star, with her unerring morality?
But that filthy Slytherin had laid more than just a finger on him.
Snape's mouth was warm, wet, and harsh.
"Is this your sick fantasy," Snape demanded, releasing his cock, "to have me on my knees before you?"
Remus could only nod. Snape muttered a spell and Remus found himself bound by his wrists, helpless and aroused.
"Snape," he began but was cut off as Snape took his cock back into his greedy mouth. "Fuck."
"Yes, Lupin, that's exactly what I intend."
"Try, Remus," Lily chided. "Try to love him for me."
In the dark, Remus could have sworn that he heard a strangled sob from the bathroom.
His heart twisted.
Lily began to fade.
"Lily." Remus reached out. "Please, don't leave… this can't be the end. I can't… not with him."
"It's not the end," she said, reaching out to him. "It's only the beginning."
Snape shifted in the bed.
Outside, the sickly streetlight flickered off. It would soon be dawn.