Who: Tak Avalon & Jace Sparks What: Serious talks over coffee. Where: Cafe, Westerville When: Afternoon, November 5th Rating: SFW
It was not something Tak was looking forward to. Serious was something he rarely did outside of music or Warblers and, while he really did dread what was to come, he felt it was only right Jace know everything that was going on. He’d asked the other boy out for coffee, really an excuse to walk through the snow to the local coffee shop. A small shiver ran down his spine as he sat staring at the plastic cup still steaming in front of him. Pumpkin Spice, still in season, though only for the moment, wafted from the swirling liquid and glancing from his cup towards the other boy offered a delighted grin.
Jace was something different alright, something Tak had found interesting and attracting parts of his personality he thought had died with his feelings for Mocchi so very long ago. Yet, even knowing this, he couldn’t help the guilt that slowly began to build as they became closer in a romantic sense.
“Sorry about asking you to walk,” The blonde boy chuckled, his own fingers still slightly frozen. “But I promised Benji I wouldn’t drive anywhere and I wanted to get away.”
Jace, on the other hand, had no real idea that something serious was at play. He was content in Tak's presence, growing more affectionate of the older boy as time passed and the pair grew closer. To him, things were still at the playful pre-commitment stage where they were getting to know one another. Although his feelings had been intensifying, he knew that them taking things slow was the best idea. Spending time together was helping a lot, and so it seemed obvious to agree to Tak's offer of coffee, even if they did have to brave the great outdoors to get it. Besides, that just meant more time to be in one another's presence.
"It's okay," the younger senior said with a grin, unwrapping his scarf and setting it over the back of his seat. Once his hands were free, he rubbed some life back into his cheeks, which had begun to tingle due to the heat inside the shop. He then mimicked the boy across from him and wrapped his fingers around the steaming mug before him with a small smile. "Better to be safe and cold than sorry and, well, you know..." Letting his words trail off, he gave a small shrug.
“Plus,” Tak murmured as he leaned closer to the other boy for dramatic effect. “Benji is really scary when he gets mad. Have you seen those guns he calls arms?” Shaking his head as he moved back to his original position, the blonde boy couldn’t help but chuckle. The warmth provided by the drink between his fingers served to warm them still and, looking at the boy across from him Tak allowed himself to watch the other boy warm his cheeks. The action was simple and yet, the older senior found himself grinning as he watched Jace a moment.
It was cute and Tak couldn’t help himself. Smiling at the sight before him, the blonde boy brought the cup to his lips and blowing softly took a sip. With a wide grin he found his eyes had shut at the taste of the hot liquid and, letting the warmth radiate from his core out sighed happily. “I think the cold weather makes everything warm taste better.”
A chuckle of amusement passed Tak’s lips a moment before the blonde let the grin fade into a smile. “We have a lot of fun together...”
With a small shake of his head, Jace answered. "I can't say I have but I'll believe you," he said. It made sense that the more reserved and quiet a person, the more startling they were when angry. Benji had been nothing but nice to Jace, yet he couldn't help but believe Tak's statement.
Watching as the other boy sipped his drink, Jace followed suit and mimicked the sigh as he felt a similar sensation. "I can agree with that," he said, setting his cup down but keeping his hands wrapped around it. He wasn't quite warm enough to relinquish the hold on it yet, although he could already feel the effects of the beverage working to heat him from the inside.
"Yeah, we do," he went on to say, head tilting slightly to the side as he watched his fellow senior. It was a rather random comment, despite its truth. "We're two pretty fun people. I guess it makes sense that we have fun together."
“Yeah,” Tak murmured in agreement with a grin into his cup of coffee. “This past weekend was especially fun.” The blonde senior continued before looking back at the boy across the table and smiling fondly at him. “I really like you, Jace Sparks.” He continued his gaze across the table then smiling in honest before speaking again. “Which is why I feel really crappy about saying this next part...”
“Okay, wait, that sounded like a bad break up intro line,” Tak sighed in minor annoyance. “I’m not trying to do that at all, I just--” The senior gripped the cup of coffee slightly, the pressure bringing further warmth to his still cold fingers. “I really like you, we have a lot of fun together, and you don’t think I’m completely psychotic. Or you do think I’m completely psychotic but in a good, funny, charming way, which is weird because I am really sort of crazy but I think you’re sort of like that too. Not like...psycho but...crazy in a good way. It’s like our crazies go really well together and it’s fun and I like it and--”
With a deep sigh, Tak paused his words with a frown. “I hate words. This is why I sing and play music. How do you English?” The older boy grumbled glancing at Jace in hopes he understood even a fraction of what he was trying to say. “I like you a lot but...really a lot but I messed up earlier this year and I told another guy I was in love with him...but then my best friend told me I wasn’t, because he knows me better than anyone else or even me some days and it made sense so now it’s all weird because I apologized to him, and I think he sort of hates me. Which isn’t fun times at all and is really confusing because I apologized but he seems like he got really jealous when I told him we’d gone out on a few dates even though he’d rejected me a few months ago and it’s not like it’s any of his business anyway but I can’t help but feel guilty anyway because I still like him alot and now I really like you and everything is starting to really hurt my head when I think about it.”
“Did that make any sense?” Tak asked with a tilted head, a soft frown upon his lips as he watched Jace’s face for confusion or hurt.
Jace was, naturally, pleased to hear that Tak liked him. He already knew as much (or at least, he thought he knew as much) but it was nice to hear it directly from the boy across from him. It was with mild confusion and an odd sinking feeling that he closed his mouth, preventing himself from returning the statement. He liked Tak too, but he didn't much like the sound of the other senior feeling crappy.
Listening closely, Jace did his best to make out what the blond was trying to say. It came out in a stream that was hard to keep up with, the other boy's frown distracting Jace. Still, he managed to process the brunt of the statement, and he found himself nodding at Tak's question. He had understood. While the sinking feeling inside of him bore weight that felt as though he would slip right through the floor, his face barely showed his disappointment. Instead he tried to understand what a difficult position Tak was in and put the other boy's emotions ahead of his own.
"Okay," he said, clearing his throat as he averted his eyes. "So you're in lo- like-like with another guy, but you like me too. The other guy's emotions are important to you and you don't want to hurt him more than you already have, and this thing we have going on is doing that, so..." Looking back at Tak, Jace's hold tightened around his cup as he offered a weak smile. Where did that leave them? "What do you want to do?"
“No!” Tak squawked a little wide eyed, perhaps a little louder than he should have as Jace attempted to clarify. “I mean, yes, I do like another guy but I mean--” He groaned then, head lowered in annoyance as he attempted to claim his thoughts. “It’s not about him...” The blonde murmured a moment later, frowning sadly as he attempted to look at the other boy. “Or at least it shouldn’t be.”
With a pause to collect what words he could manage, Tak tried once more to share his feelings. Why was talking so hard? It would be so much easier to sing to Jace then to talk out his emotions. But Tak knew no song to fit his situation perfectly. “I meant, I just...I don’t want his feelings to matter in this...this...what we have...” Tak averted his eyes then in thought, his lips parted in frustration. “I just want our feelings to matter. Mine and yours.” He said firmly then, looking towards Jace with a small smile.
“But they aren’t and...that’s not fair. I just...I don’t think it’s right of me to put that kind of...I don’t know, extra baggage on you and stuff. Because it isn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong. You’re really...sweet and...kind...and you just....” Placing the palm of one hand against his face Tak groaned softly. “I don’t want this to be about Raf.” He grumbled, “It’s not supposed to be about Raf. It’s about you and me and giving it a fair chance without something stupid happening.”
Lowering his hand then, he sighed. “I want to get to know you better. But I don’t want to hurt you like I did with him... So, I guess what I want to ask is if we can just...slow things down?”
Remaining still even after Tak's outburst, Jace bit his lip and listened carefully. He wanted to understand the boy before him and the situation they found themselves in. The revelation that Raf was the person who held Tak's affections didn't surprise him and he could scarcely blame the blond for feeling such ways about their fellow senior, yet the heart-sinking feeling remained in his chest as he watched Tak struggle to be understood.
"Sure," he said once Tak had finished. "We can hit the brakes and you can take some time to work things out." Slowing things down would probably be beneficial to both of them in the long run. It was all too easy to be swept up in a new situation, only to find that things had progressed too far in the wrong direction. This, as jarring as it was, would be a good thing.
“You’re okay with that?” The blonde asked, head tilted slightly in question as he dared to look the other boy’s features over. He felt guilt then. Guilt for asking for such a thing. For his lack of ability to communicate his own feelings properly. And for his small outburst as well.
“Sorry,” He murmured lowering his gaze. “I just don’t want to do anything else stupid that ends up hurting people.”
Jace took a moment to consider the question. There was a part of him that was apprehensive about backing off, for what if Tak realised that they wouldn’t actually be as good together as both of them seemed to indicate? That niggling feeling was vastly overshadowed by the sway of his moral compass, however, for Jace knew that Tak did need time and that pushing him for things he wasn’t quite ready to commit to would be an extremely unfair thing to do.
“I’m okay with it,” he said, pausing to calmly take a sip of his drink. “It’s not ideal but it’s something you need to do and I can respect that.” Setting the cup down, he leaned across and rested his warm palm against the blond’s cheek. “You don’t have to apologise,” he said softly. “I’m really glad you told me.” Savouring the feeling for a second or so, the younger boy pulled back and once again averted his eyes, the faintest of blushes rising in his cheeks at the sentimentality of the moment.
Insecurity was something Tak rarely showed in public, let alone to someone who knew so little of him, and yet, even with all the guilt he found himself frozen a moment at the warm hand against the skin of his cheek. The sensation that tingled down his neck caused the older boy to tighten the grip upon his own cup until the warmth came near a burning level as he fought the urge to lean across the small table and steal a kiss from the younger boy.
What was that?
And as quickly as the feeling had appeared it vanished. Like a ghost in a snowstorm the fleeting feeling left him in a minor daze of confusion and frighteningly enough, want. “Okay.” Managed the blonde senior as he let his eyes fall back upon the other boy’s face. He took notice of the reddening skin easily enough and found it brought a small smile to his lips. It was different, the feeling for Tak, the emotions before all desire and attraction on a near complete hormonal level. Now? An odd bubbly sensation danced across the top of his stomach for but a moment.
Had that been nerves? No. Thackery Avalon didn’t get nervous. Or at least he’d like to think so.
“Thanks,” Tak began, clearing his throat a moment as he finally let his eyes drift back down to the coffee in his hands and, thankfully, taking a long sip of the still hot liquid shut his eyes in an attempt to process what had been said in the act of simply enjoying the scalding drink.
There was silence then, with Jace continuing to look down as he thought over what had just transpired. Although he felt a little disappointed, he knew that it was for the best. He had meant what he had said about it being okay for Tak to take a step back and work himself out. A small, selfish part of Jace simply hoped that it wouldn’t take the other boy too long to reach whatever conclusions he needed to.
“So,” he eventually said, looking across the table at the other teen in the hopes of defusing any awkwardness with humour. “Does this mean we have to stop making out? Because I’m not sure how easy that’ll be to give up.”
Choking a little on his coffee, Tak couldn’t help the grin that forced itself upon his lips. With a soft chuckle, the blonde boy didn’t fight the glint of mischief that sparkled in his eyes. “Well to be fair,” The blonde murmured doing his best to fight the grin as he spoke. “I did say that once you get some Tak you couldn’t go back.”
He met Jace’s eyes a moment, a silly smile playing his own features before he scoffed softly. “Don’t worry, there’s a rehab for it I’m sure.”
Letting go of his cup, Jace held both hands up in a show of defence. “Okay, you caught me,” he said, unable to fully wipe the smirk from his face. “I might be a little hooked.” The moment lasted a few seconds before the younger boy’s eyes dropped to the table top, fingers coiling around his coffee again. “I’ll go cold turkey and I’ll be able to deal.”
“Cold turkey is rough....” Tak murmured, trying his best not to grin though he knew a smile showed through his attempts. The blonde tilted his head to the side as he watched the other boy go on. When Jace looked away however, Tak couldn’t help but bite his bottom lip as he watched. The younger boy ignited some strange feelings in him. Reaching out then, Tak chanced placing a hand on the wrist of the other boy with an attempted comforting pat.
“If it gets too much for you,” The blonde boy teased with a repressed grin. “Small doses might be a better way to wean you off them for a little while...”
Jace was more than aware that cold turkey would be difficult. It was what was necessary though. If he took Tak up on the offer of small doses, he knew that it would essentially make everything that much more difficult.
Looking down at the touch to his wrist, Jace stared at the other boy’s fingers for a moment before his eyes once again flickered up to meet Tak’s. Licking his bottom lip pensively, the younger teen offered the blond an almost awkward looking shrug. “It’ll be okay,” he said, moreso to himself than anything. “Just get yourself sorted. I’ll be fine.”
Tracting his hand, Tak nodded silently. It was strange and uncomfortable really. He’d never done anything like it. Willingly taking a step back from his feelings. It seemed almost unnatural and the look the other boy wore, while Tak couldn’t place a finger on it, didn’t seem right. He felt the smallest voice in the back of his mind urging him to fix the error. But what? He didn’t know. Thinking the best place for his hand around his own cup, Tak found himself nodding to nothing once more and bringing the cup up to his lips half wished the strange emotions running circle in his mind would halt.
“Alright,” Murmured the blonde a moment after a long sip of his drink later, his eyes never leaving the dark liquid that swirled and steamed in his cup. “Thanks, Jace.”
The short silence really was awkward. Jace hadn’t felt that with Tak before, the pair usually filling the void with a joke or a laugh or something. Now, Jace was unsure of what to say. He nodded in response to the blond’s comment, forcing a smile that lasted all of two seconds before he focused on the cup in front of him. Really, it wasn’t a bad thing. Sometimes, it just happened. There was nobody to blame and nothing to really be upset about. It wasn’t as though they were serious.
“We should probably head back soon,” the younger boy finally said, eyes still refusing to meet Tak’s own. “There’s some stuff I need to get done.” While that was mostly a lie, Jace wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to sit quietly while attempting to hide his disappointment.
At the sound of Jace needing to return to the school, Tak simply nodded once more as his fingers tightened about the cup and, with a deep breath brought the steaming liquid to his lips. One long sip turned to a gulp, then another and finally, with tears brimming his eyes the blonde senior set the cup down with a half pained expression. He hoped for a laugh, a smile, a smirk, anything to aid the end of the strange tension he felt then. “Alright,” Tak half gasped his tongue partially out in a comical fashion. “I’m done with my coffee anyway.”
It’d hurt, sure enough. But anything would be better than to put the other boy through any awkward silence and at least this way, he could complain about the minor burns he’d not feel in an hours time. “You think,” He began as he shifted from his seat to stand, tears blinking away as he spoke. “You can get brain burn like you do brain freeze?”
Jace had no idea what was happening until he heard the strain in Tak’s voice. Looking up, he frowned at the sight of the other boy’s watering eyes. Had it been a regular day, he probably would have laughed at such shenanigans. Now, however, he didn’t much feel like laughing. “Are you okay?” he asked, his tone filled with concern as he too stood up, leaving his half drunk cup of coffee behind.
At the mention of brain burn, Jace couldn’t repress a smile. “I guess you just proved that you can,” he answered smartly, wrapping his scarf back around his neck before fastening his jacket. “Just don’t hurt yourself, okay?”
Better me than you. With a small shrug Tak offered a short smile as he buttoned up his own jacket. He’d seek out one of his warmer friends, Evan or Benji, upon his return to cling to and reclaim body heat, but for the moment was content in the warmth the coffee provided. “I’m okay. It was just coffee.” Answered Tak a moment before finishing his preparations for travel. It might be a long, semi-awkward walk home, but he was determined in the least to make it as less so as possible.
“Don’t worry,” Began the blonde senior. “I’m built of sturdier stuff than I look.”
Watching silently as Tak fastened his coat, Jace gave another nod. Like his fellow senior, he had plans to find a source of comfort when back at school. Will, if he was around. Ryan, if he wasn’t too busy with rehearsals. If those two options failed, he could always just pick up the phone and call someone else. There was no shortage of friends to offer comfort.
“I know you are,” he replied, lightly smiling at the other boy as he passed. Reaching the door, he pulled it open and shivered as the brisk wind hit him head on. He waited for Tak to join him before moving, his mind just as numb as the skin of his cheeks as they returned to the school.