In which Addison is rushed to the hospital Who: Addison and Archie What: Addison has gone too far this time, and he needs help, fast. Where: Chopp Hall and Westerville's closest hospital When: Sunday, around 2 AM Rating: NSFW (trigger warnings)
Addison was in pain. And not just the regular kind of mind-numbing pain he'd experience with every cut, but actual 'oh-my-god-kill-me-now' pain. There was so much blood too. The bathroom floor beneath him was starting to stain red, something that never happened before. Addison whimpered at the sight of all the blood, but he knew what he had to do. He pulled out his cellphone from his pocket with his good arm and managed to scroll down through his contacts to Mr. Kennedy. Addison would've felt bad for waking him up so late at night, but he wasn't thinking of much right now except "Oh god, I don't want to die." He shakingly put the phone up to his ear and waited for him to answer.
It was early in the morning, way too early for Archie’s phone to be ringing so loudly. He groaned, yanking a pillow over his head (in his brand new bed!) before he remembered why he had set his ringtones so loud. Dalton emergencies. He promised the boys he’d be on-call 24/7 if they ever needed him, and he meant it. Someone was taking advantage of his promise.
Archie made a grab for his phone, answering the call and lifting it to his ear. “Hello?”
"Mr. Kennedy?" Addison said in a meek voice. "I'm really sorry for calling so late, but I'm really scared." He glanced down at his bloodied arm and his stomach turned. "I'm in the bathroom, there's a lot of blood," Addison mumbled, not sure what to do until Mr. Kennedy got there.
“Addison?” Archie frowned a little, and then he was suddenly wide awake. “What bathroom, Addi? Where are you? Put pressure on the cut, I’ll be right there.” He swung his legs out of bed and stumbled for the door, his phone still against his ear. Shoes, shoes were by the door.
"Uhm, I'm in Chopp Hall, the bathroom that's at the end of the hall," Addison tried to explain, not really worried about where he was at the moment. He pressed a hand over the cut, hissing when a sharp pain shot up his body. He really hoped Mr. Kennedy got there soon, since the blood was already seeping through his fingers.
"What floor?" Archie asked, jamming his feet into his shoes and heading out the door. Addison was a sophomore, so third or fourth floor? He was already heading for the stairs. Since he was just staying in the building, his t-shirt and flannel sleep pants would be fine.
"4th," Addison informed, starting to feel rather light-headed. He rested his head against the wall next to him, his eyes threatening to close. "I'm really tired," he mumbled, his eyes locked with the blood that was now getting all over his clothes.
"Hang in there, Addi," Archie said. "I'm almost there. You're going to be okay." He burst onto the fourth floor and ran for the bathroom. "Addison?" There. The handicap stall at the end, there was blood on the floor in that one. "Addi, unlock the door."
Addison sluggishly scooted from his place against the wall and got on his knees to unlock the door. He pulled it open a little bit before collapsing back against the wall. "Sorry," he whispered.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Archie assured Addison, entering the stall to crouch beside the other boy. The cut in his arm was deep, and Archie needed something to staunch the blood... toilet paper? No, wouldn’t work very well. There weren’t any towels around... “No, Addi, I’m sorry,” he told the other boy as he seized the hem of his t-shirt. “This is rather inappropriate, but...” He pulled his shirt off and wrapped it tightly around the boy’s arm before lifting Addison’s other hand to it. “Can you help me hold this tight? Squeeze, Addi.”
Addison followed Archie's instructions to the best of his ability, his hand squeezing around the shirt as tight as it could. "Don't worry, 'm not Harris, I don't care 'bout your shirt," he murmured, his his grip on his arm loosening and then tightening again. "It really hurts, Mr K."
“I know, Addi. I’m sorry it hurts. We’re going to make it better, all right? You’re going to be all right.” Archie had to get Addison out of this stall. He had some things in his bathroom that might be able to help slow the bleeding, if nothing else, and then a trip to the hospital was in order. Addison would definitely need stitches. “I’m going to pick you up, Addison, and carry you downstairs, okay? Do you think you can lift your arm up when I’m holding you? You can rest it on my shoulder or something, but you’ll need to get it above your heart.”
Addison nodded. "Yeah, I can do that," he said, even though he knew it'd hurt like a bitch. He tried lifting his arm before Mr. Kennedy picked him up, and he winced at the pain. Yeah, that really did hurt like a bitch. "I didn't mean to do this," Addison tried to explain as he looked up at the guidance counselor. "I don't want to die."
“I know, Addison,” Archie said, managing a smile for the boy as he got his arms around Addison, one behind his back, the other under his legs. “I’m not going to let you die. Not tonight. Hold on.” He pushed himself to his feet, frowning a little at how light Addison was. “All right, arm up. Keep squeezing as hard as you can.”
Addison manuveured his arms up to a somewhat comfortable place, although it was hard considering he had to keep a tight hold on his arm. "I promise, I wouldn't do this on purpose, it was an accident.." He wasn't sure why he kept trying to explain himself, but the lightheadedness was getting worse. That could've been it.
“I know you wouldn’t,” Archie assured Addison, maneuvering them out of the bathroom. He’d have to notify someone about the blood, but that could come later. Right now, the boy he had cradled against his chest was more important than a bit of a mess. “It’s going to be okay, Addison, just hang in there.”
Addison rested his head against Archie's chest, curling up in his hold. "I'm sorry I woke you up," he apologized, his vision starting to go blurry. "I don't feel well." How much blood had he lost? How much blood did he need to lose to die? Millions of thoughts raced through his fuzzy mind.
"That's what I'm here for," Archie said, giving Addison a squeeze. "Addi? Stay with me, Addi. Keep talking." No, he was going to skip trying to get Addison cleaned up. He could call an ambulance... he didn't even know where the hospital was. No, not an ambulance, that would be too disruptive. Campus safety, 911 from his landline. "Keep talking, Addison." He fumbled with his doorknob and got the door open. The landline was in the kitchen, so he rushed Addison there and set him on the counter. First step, though, actually, was to grab a couple ice packs from the freezer and press them against Addison's arm. "Can you hold these too?" The cold would contract Addison's blood vessels, slowing his bleeding a little. He kept one hand on Addison's arms to help hold the ice in place as he grabbed his phone and called for campus safety.
The only thing Addison was focusing on at this point was the splitting headache and the floaty feeling in his head. "What should I talk about?" he asked quietly, his hold on his arm faltering. He flinched at the freezing ice pack that was put on his arm, but he did what he was told and held them against the cut. "That's cold," Addison gasped, a little wobbly on the counter.
"It's meant to be," Addison said. "How are your kittens doing? Are they getting big? Yes, hello, I have a student having a medical emergency at Chopp Hall, can we get a ride to the nearest hospital immediately?"
"Yeah, they're big, except Harry, she's still tiny," Addison replied, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He loved his kittens. He couldn't just leave them, especially in James' care, who felt it was okay to feed them Taco Bell and smoke around them. "They're really cute, you should come see them."
"As soon as you're back here, you can show them to me," Archie said, hanging up with campus safety and turning to Addison. He reached out, stroking his hand over Addison's hair before tugging the boy against his chest again, clamping a hand over the makeshift bandage. "Addison? What blood type are you?"
"They'd like you, they like everyone," Addison replied, cooing softly at the hair stroking. "Feels nice," he mumbled, then thought about the question he was just asked. Did he even know his blood type? "A positive...I think," he managed to answer, biting his bottom lip.
Archie kept stroking Addison’s hair, asking him little questions about the kittens until he saw the campus safety car through the window. “Come on, Addison,” he said, sweeping the boy off the counter again. “We’re going to go for a ride, okay?”
"Can't I just go to sleep?" Addison whined, hating being moved every five minutes. Couldn't Archie see that he was in pain? Of course he could, that's why he was doing this... "Where are we going? I don't want to leave."
“No, Addi, no sleeping,” Archie said firmly, giving the security guards a grateful look as they opened the car door for him. He slid into the back, holding Addison in his lap and readjusting his grip on the boy’s cut. “We’re going to the hospital. And fast.” The latter was directed to the driver who nodded, not even questioning Archie’s lack of shirt.
"Okay, but I'm really tired," Addison insisted, words just flying out of his mouth without much thought. "I don't like the hospital," he mumbled. God, it was so hot outside, and in this little car. Where was the air conditioner? Addison felt like he was on fire.
“There are some lovely nurses waiting to meet you there,” Archie told Addison, stroking his hair again. “After they’re done, you can sleep, okay? But not before then. Can you do that for me?”
"Maybe," Addison said, the hair stroking lulling him. "No promises...Harris is going to be really mad at me." He paused, trying to collect the jumbled thoughts in his mind. "And I dunno how James is going to react...I'm really stupid," he continued to ramble on.
“You’re not stupid, Addison. You’re just hurting.” Archie tilted Addison’s head toward him to brush a kiss over his forehead. “Harris and James will be okay. They’ll just be happy to know you’re okay.”
"No, I think stupid is a good word for it." Addison made a face when he felt a brush of a kiss on his forehead. "Don't," he whimpered, moving his face away from Archie. He though of apologizing, but Addison couldn't help it. Gestures like that, especially from older men, just reminded him of his brother.
“I’m sorry, Addison.” Archie let his hand drop back to Addison’s shoulder, petting him gently there instead of his hair. “We’re almost there.” He could see the hospital through the windows of the car, and he’d never been happier.
"Still don't like hospitals," Addison said, his eyes wincing at the bright lights outside the window. He was just so tired, and all he wanted to do was sleep. But he couldn't, and that just annoyed him.
“I know, Addi, but sometimes they’re necessary.” As soon as the guard was opening the car door again, Archie was back on his feet, holding Addison as he strode toward the emergency room. “Hang on just a little longer, Addi.”
"Ugh," Addison groaned, closing his eyes. The lights only got brighter, and he couldn't move his arm to cover his eyes from the blinding lights. "I'm trying, Mr. K." He was trying to hold on, but all the lights and the fuzziness and the pain...it hurt.
It didn’t take long at all to get attention for Addison, and once the boy was whisked off by nurses, Archie was left standing in the reception, feeling rather out of place. One of the Dalton guards came up to get his attention, and he allowed the other man to pull him aside to explain what had just happened.
Addison didn't remember much after he was taken away by one of the nurses, a young, pretty woman who mentioned her name was Anna. Same as his mother... He was put into a hospital bed and wheeled into what he assumed was an intensive care unit, because the last thing he remembered, an oxygen mask was put over his mouth and nose and he was finally able to drift off into the sleep that he wanted to. The doctor and nurses worked quickly, stitching up the cut on Addison's arm and setting up a successful blood transfusion. He was lucky that he had a fairly common blood type. A thick bandage was then wrapped around his arm and he was wheeled to a separate department, one where he could heal. Once Addison came to, he could vaguely hear one of the nurses talking to him, telling him that his father was on his way and that he would be put on suicide watch until they could further assess him.
By the time Archie was allowed to return to Addison’s side, he had managed to find a t-shirt (I <3 Westerville) in the gift shop and had cleaned the blood off his own skin. The Dalton security guards had returned to the school to inform everyone who needed to be informed and get the mess in the bathroom cleaned up.
Until Addison’s father arrived, Archie was acting as Addison’s guardian for the school. He smiled gratefully at the nurse, slipping into Addison’s room and taking a seat beside the boy’s bed. Addison was going to make it. Archie had gotten him to the hospital in time. He curled his fingers around Addison’s thin hand and let out a long sigh of relief.
Addison was still tired and pain medication was flowing through his veins, but he was awake enough to feel someone's hand around his own. He glanced over at his bedside and saw Mr. Kennedy. "Hi," he greeted weakly, not sure what to say at this point. Sorry? Thank you? Both would probably be good.
At the sound of Addison's voice, Archie lifted his head and gave a tired but genuine little smile. "Hello, Addi," he said, squeezing Addison's fingers lightly. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired...kind of floaty," he admitted. "They said they're putting me on suicide watch. I tried to tell them that I'm not suicidal, but they wouldn't listen to me," Addison complained, his fingers twitching at the comforting squeeze.
“Unfortunately, they have their policies to follow too,” Archie said with another squeeze. “I know you weren’t trying to kill yourself, Addison. I’m glad you weren’t successful accidentally, though.”
"Well, I don't like their policies," Addison said, sighing softly. "I just want to go back to Dalton and forget this ever happened. Ugh, they said they were calling my dad, it'll take him like an hour to get here. Like he needs more stuff to worry about because of me."
"I know, Addi. I know." Archie sighed again, letting his hand drop into one propped up hand as he looked down at the boy. "Does your dad know about the cutting?"
"No, of course not," Addison shook his head, resting his head back on the pillow. It was going to be a long day. "He never knows anything, which is the way I prefer it to be."
"I could talk to him before he comes in here, if you'd like," Archie said. "Explain what's been going on, and how we've been working on it."
"I just hate that I've ruined everything that made him happy. I'm such a failure at being a good son," Addison replied with a soft sniffle. "I just really, really suck sometimes."
"Addison, what's been happening in your family isn't your fault," Archie murmured, reaching out to smoothe Addison's hair back. "You haven't ruined anything, and you're not a failure as a son."
"I've ruined a lot of things you don't know about," Addison answered in a soft voice. "I don't get why my dad doesn't hate me. He should. I'm the reason he's losing his family."
"He doesn't hate you because you're his son," Archie said. "He's your father. He loves you." He squeezed Addison's hand again, closing his eyes for a moment. "What do you think you've ruined?"
"Well, my brother was like the apple of my father's eye," Addison said, his thoughts drifting to the two. "And now he's probably going to prison because of me."
"Your brother was living a double-life," Archie said. "He was hurting you and lying to your father about it. That isn't your fault. That's his fault."
"Yeah, but it's my fault that he's going to go to prison," Addison replied. "I told Harris, and he told our old guidance counselor, and he told the police...it's my fault." His father was going to lose a son to jail, but at least it wasn't as bad as losing his wife to a car accident. Addison felt like he caused that too.
"Addison," Archie said, his voice quiet but firm. "Your brother was hurting you. That was his fault and his choice. You, and Harris, and Mr. hemmingway, all of you acted only to protect you. The only thing you did was make him face the consequences of his own actions. It is not your fault."
"I still feel bad," Addison admitted, his stomach twisting into tiny knots. "And it was my fault that...that my mom died, that was my fault, and all I'm doing now is taking someone else my dad loves away from him." He rarely talked about his mom, so this was rather uncharacteristic of him. He blamed it on the painkillers that were in his system.
"I know," Archie said. "It hurts, and you feel guilty by association, but that doesn't make it your fault." He rubbed his thumb lightly over the back of Addison's hand. "What happened with your mother, Addi?"
"She got into a car accident," Addison said quietly, pulling his hand out of Archie's grasp. He felt like he didn't deserve comfort at the moment. "I wanted her to take me to my friend's house, so she left work early to come and get me. She got hit, and died."
“Addison...” Archie folded his hands together at the side of the bed, respecting Addison’s unspoken desire to not be touched at the moment. “Addi, that’s the same. That’s exactly the same. It hurts, and you feel guilty by association, but you didn’t cause that accident.”
"Yes, I did!" Addison raised his voice. "If I didn't beg her to come home, she wouldn't have gotten hit and she would've still been alive right now!"
"Your mother obviously loved you," Archie murmured. "Very much, if she was willing to come home early so you could see your friend. And she knows, wherever she is now, she knows, Addison, that you did not beg her to come home with the malicious intent of having her die in an accident." He reached out again, gently touching Addison's shoulder. "Addison, your mother loved you. And she probably had ideas for how your life would go. She probably saw you growing up, having lots of friends, going to school. She probably imagined your first date, your graduation from high school, your acceptance into your dream college, your marriage... She probably held you in her arms as a baby and pictured the sort of man you'd grow up to be. After she died, she was probably very sad that she wouldn’t be there for you at all your future milestones, not physically. But I think she would still watch over you, with love and pride, and she’s probably so sad right now that she hurt you, with her untimely passing. She’s probably wishing she could take you into her arms one more time, Addi, and reassuring you that she doesn’t blame you. That she loves you. That she still wants everything in the world for you, and she doesn’t want her death to stop you from any of it.”
The more Archie kept on talking, the worse Addison felt. By the end of his speech, he was in tears. "I just really hate that she isn't here right now," he cried, rubbing at his eyes with his good arm. "And I feel bad for ever calling her that day and making her come home early, and I hate myself for doing that. I think of her every day, I love my mom..."
"She is here, Addison," Archie said, squeezing Addison's shoulder and swallowing past a lump in his own throat--this wasn't spur-of-the-moment advice. This was an amalgamation of something, of many things, he had been told after Horace's death, words that had eventually helped him to accept what had happened. "She's right here with you. She's been holding you all night. You have so much life left to live, Addison, and she doesn't want you to miss out on it. On any of it."
"I wish she was here physically," Addison muttered, sniffling and hiccuping through his tears. "I really, really, really miss her." And he did. There wasn't a day that went by where he felt guilty and where he just wished she appeared in front of him to give him a hug and kiss like she would every night when he was little.
"I know," Archie whispered, giving Addison's shoulder another squeeze. "I know, Addi."
"So yeah, I suck and I took away my mom and now my brother and I don't get why my dad still loves me, because I made his life miserable," Addison continued, trying to control his crying.
Archie gave Addison's shoulder a light tug, opening his arms to invite the boy into a hug.
Addison shook his head and pulled away from Archie once more. He was never this standoffish, but given what had happened tonight and what their conversation led to, he felt terrible at the moment.
Archie let Addison pull away, respecting his space. He sat back a little in his chair, thinking. “Does your dad know you feel like this?”
"No, I don't really talk to him all that much," Addison said, looking away. "I feel too guilty to talk about it."
"Would you like me to talk to him first when he arrives?" Archie asked again. "Explain things enough so he doesn't have to ask too many questions tonight, and can just be here for you?"
"Y-yeah," Addison said with a nod. "I don't really want to talk to him about it anyways...it's too hard."
"You will need to talk to him at some point," Archie murmured, "but I can take the immediate pressure off for you. Tonight, you just focus on getting some rest."
"Okay," Addison yawned, getting as comfortable as he could in the hospital bed. "Could you call Harris and tell him I'm here? He'll probably want to know..."
"I can let Harris know after your father arrives," Archie said, nodding at Addison. "Is there anything else you need?"
"A free pass to go back to Dalton ASAP?" Addison suggested, even though he knew Archie couldn't get that for him. He'd just have to suck it up and stay the remainder of the time he'd have to.
“I can’t get you that,” Archie said with a little shake of his head. “Best I can do is discuss things with your psych evaluators, let them know that I knew what was going on and what we’ve been doing to overcome it.”
"Alright," Addison accepted the answer. He touched the bandage that was wrapped around his arm and sighed again. "I guess I'll leave you to your stuff then....thanks, Mr. K."
"I can stay here until your dad comes," Archie said. "So you're not alone. You're welcome, Addison. Thank you for calling me, and for hanging on. You saved your own life tonight."
"I just want to be alone right now, if that's okay," Addison pleaded, giving Archie a look. "I'll be okay, I promise, I just want to be alone for a little bit..."
"All right," Archie said. "I'll wait outside for your dad. You know my number if you need anything else."
Addison nodded and figured he should get some more sleep. He was going to have to get up later anyways. "Okay, thanks..." And with that, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Archie watched Addison for a moment before pushing himself to his feet and heading for the door. He was pretty exhausted himself, but he still had a long day ahead of him. Thank god it was a holiday.