Title: Haunted
Author: writcraft
Characters/Pairings: Lily Evans/Sirius Black, Lily Evans/James Potter, implied Sirius Black/James Potter
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Gateways (to other worlds, dimensions, realities etc.)
Other Warnings: Canon Character Death, Infidelity, Possible future threesome
Word Count: ~2,500
Summary/Description: Dead or alive, Sirius Black has always haunted Lily.
Author's Notes: Completed on 31 October but I have only just had the chance to post this today, backdated with permission from the Mods. Thanks to A for the quick beta.



Lily Evans isn’t impressed by schoolboy magic, even when it’s performed with a rakish smile.

When Sirius Black turns a daffodil into a lily and presents it to her, Lily folds her arms to put some distance between them.

“I suppose you think that’s very clever?”

“I think it’s very romantic.” Sirius winks and Lily tries to ignore the way her stomach flutters in response.

“I would be more impressed if you stopped making fun of people.”

“You mean Snape?” Sirius snorts. “I know exactly the kind of person he is, and you’re better off steering clear of that lot.”

“Thanks for the advice, but I think I can make that kind of decision for myself.” Lily glares at Sirius and rolls her eyes when James appears just as he always does when Sirius is around.

“Is he bothering you?” James slings an arm across Sirius’ shoulders and gives Lily and easy smile.

“Not particularly.” Lily turns to walk away and James calls after her.

“How about that date, Evans?”

Lily keeps walking and doesn’t respond.

* * *

It’s largely James that pursues her, with relentless smiles and heartfelt attempts to make Lily think he’s anything other than a total pillock. After the first attempts at romance fail, Sirius backs off and seems content to let James do all the chasing.

Lily isn’t terribly bothered, and refuses to be swayed by Quidditch playing hot-shots who think they’re something special.

When James asks her out for the hundredth time, Sirius holds her gaze and winks. “You should give him a chance, you know.”

“Just because he’s persistent?”

“Not because of that.” Sirius’ lazy smile makes Lily’s heart quicken. “Because he’s better than you think.”

“Better than you?” Lily questions.

“Undoubtedly,” Sirius replies.

* * *

Sometimes Lily wonders if James and Sirius are more than friends.

They have an easy manner with one another, lounging on the sofas in the common room always just that little bit too close.

They whisper together, their heads bowed and their gestures animated. When James leans close, Sirius’ eyes darken and his tongue flicks over his lips.

“Then you’ll do it?” James questions. It’s almost uncomfortable to watch the way his lips brush the shell of Sirius’ ear. Uncomfortable, intrusive and voyeuristic.

“I’ll do it,” Sirius confirms. His eyes meet Lily’s and his lips curve upwards into a smile. He brushes his fingers against the thin cotton of the school trousers James wears. He inches his fingers higher until James catches his hand and murmurs something Lily can’t quite catch.

Sirius nods in her direction and she looks down quickly as James looks up, her cheeks heating as she focuses on her book.

When she raises her eyes again, James and Sirius have gone.

* * *

Lily goes outside for some fresh air and finds herself on the Quidditch pitch, watching James and Sirius dip and twist through the air. James is graceful and technically adept, while Sirius just flies like he doesn’t give a fuck.

“Slow down you idiot.” James laughs and the sound catches on the wind.

Sirius shrugs and directs his broom into a steep dive towards the ground. Lily’s heart catches in her throat as he hurtles through the air with reckless determination. James gives chase but he’s too far away to stop Sirius, who careers increasingly close to the earth. At the last possible moment, he pulls his broom up sharply and it skims the grass.

Lily breathes out, her heart hammering.

“Brilliant!” Sirius miscalculates his next manoeuvre and his concentration falters. With a grunt he hits the floor and lies back on the floor in an ungainly mess of sprawled limbs. His broom lands with a thud beside him and James follows shortly afterwards.

“Anyone would think you’ve got a death wish.” James settles on the grass next to Sirius.

“Perhaps I have,” Sirius murmurs. James rests his head on Sirius’ chest just above his heart and whispers something which looks like I love you. Sirius nudges James and clears his throat. “We’ve got company, J.”

“We do?” James looks up, his cheeks flushed red and his eyes sleepy. His eyes meet Lily’s and his face brightens with renewed energy. “Hey, Evans.”

Lily raises her hand and waves.

James stands and brushes the grass from his jeans while Sirius fixes his gaze on Lily, his expression unreadable.

* * *

When Lily and James kiss, James is just as confident as he is when he flies. He’s warm, and he smells like freshly laundered linen.

“Lily.” He breathes Lily’s name against her lips. His breathing hitches and he repeats her name again, letting the syllables roll off his tongue with reverence. He slides his hands over Lily’s back and up to tangle into her hair, treating her as if she’s something to be savoured and cherished.

Although she tries not to, Lily can’t help but imagine where James learned to kiss with such assured confidence.

She pictures Sirius gripping onto James and hauling him close by the scruff of his shirt. She can almost hear Sirius murmur a litany of filth, his voice rough and deep.

Heat curls in Lily’s stomach and when James slips his hand under her skirt, this time she doesn’t stop him.

* * *

They spend their last year of school together, cocooned in the walls of Hogwarts and wondering what it might be like to fight a war.

“It’s not as bad as we think, I’m sure of it.” Always reassuring, Peter tops up their china mugs with Firewhiskey. “Besides, it will all be over soon.”

“I’m looking forward to fighting.” Sirius slashes his wand through the air as if duelling against an invisible threat. “It’s about time we got out of this place to do something useful. I just hope if the Aurors get my parents they’ll let me have a go at the interrogation.”

He says interrogation in a cool, hard tone. His expression darkens and his hand drops to his side as his lip curls. Lily exchanges a glance with James, who gets to his feet and murmurs something to Sirius which makes him laugh.

“Fuck you, Prongs.” His expression softens and he punches James lightly on the shoulder.

Sometimes Lily wonders if Sirius hates her for taking James away.

On other occasions when James gives Sirius the kind of smile she knows all too well, Lily wonders if James ever really left Sirius at all.

* * *

James and Lily marry in the autumn.

The apples crowd together in a small wicker basket, each one ripe and flushed pink with the hue of the season. Irregular pieces of wood next to the fire carry the scent of the earth and fallen leaves.

Witches and wizards dance to music in the warm room, trying to forget the war. Suspended in time, Lily pushes the horrors of battle to one side to enjoy their precious moment.

Lily stays close to James, who clutches her hand tightly.

Everyone tells her she looks beautiful, apart from Sirius who’s drunk and stupid. Instead he squeezes James’ arm and gives him a peculiar sort of smile.

They stare at one another for a heartbeat too long. When Sirius speaks, his voice is rough and gravelly. “Congratulations.”

James nods and they smile at one another awkwardly before James groans. “Come here, you daft prick.”

They embrace and clap one another on the back, just as old friends would and the tension leaves the room.

For the first time that day, James lets go of Lily’s hand.

* * *

Lily doesn’t know if she can trust James and Sirius, but she trusts her own strength of character. She ignores the way Sirius’ swagger makes her stomach twist and turn, and the way a careless wink or wide smile can cause her cheeks to heat.

They find themselves together a year after the wedding. They get pissed on Firewhiskey and wait for James to come home.

“It’s late – too late.”

“He’ll be back soon. Kingsley said it was going to be a long night. Don’t worry.” Sirius frowns at the Floo despite his words. His voice is thick with strong liquor and he pats the sofa. “Just sit. He’ll be fine.”

Lily does as Sirius suggests and tries to relax. She takes in the way Sirius lounges on the sofa as if he owns the place. His cologne is spicy and rich, his hair tousled and windswept.

“I do love him,” Lily blurts out. She feels the need to defend her marriage and to remind herself that Sirius is a friend and nothing more.

“I know.” Sirius looks up and meets Lily’s eyes. “Me too.”

Perhaps it’s the Firewhiskey or maybe it’s the fear of death. It could be the years of missed opportunities or the nagging doubts about the things Sirius and James get up to together, but when Sirius shifts closer Lily doesn’t pull away.

They kiss with frantic purpose and Sirius is just as rough and urgent as Lily always imagined.

“You did this with him.” It’s a statement not a question, and Sirius grunts in response. You still do, Lily thinks as Sirius presses her back onto the cushions.

“It’s not exactly like this.” Sirius slides his fingers over Lily’s knickers to emphasis his point. When he pulls them to one side and fucks her steadily with his fingers, his touch is confident and assured. Lily wonders who else there’s been when Sirius moves down her body.

“Don’t make jokes. Not now.”

“I don’t intend to.” Sirius looks up, his expression intense. He runs his tongue over Lily's clit, his stubble rough against her most intimate parts. He continues to work his fingers deep inside her until Lily’s body shakes and trembles with the force of her climax.

When Sirius presses into her, he bites down on her shoulder and groans with pleasure. They fuck until he comes with a shout and Lily’s name leaves his lips with a gasp.

They tidy themselves up before James gets back. When he finally steps through the Floo, James looks flushed and energetic.

“What have you two been up to?”

“Drinking far too much.” Sirius claps James on the shoulder and stretches. “It won’t happen again.”

Lily swallows and catches the look which passes between James and Sirius. She wonders if James knows, somehow. Sirius and he do so much of their communicating through loaded looks and hushed whispers which nobody else can properly hear. It's possible that one look from Sirius could translate into I've been fucking your wife.

If James has any doubts, he doesn't raise them. He's quieter than usual but when they settle in to bed he reaches for Lily and pulls her close. His hands stroke through her hair, and he is just as tender as he's always been. His gentle touch makes Lily feel ashamed and impossibly sad. She nestles closer to James and breathes in his clean, soapy scent.

“Padfoot left pretty sharpish,” James murmers, his voice slow with sleep.

“I imagine he wanted to get home. You didn’t get back until late.” Lily holds her breath, but James seems content to leave it at that.

Lily stays awake until James begins to snore, and resolves never to lose her head around Sirius again.

* * *

Lily expects death to be easy, but it’s not.

She finds herself trapped between one world and the next. She searches for James but he’s gone somewhere she can’t seem to get to, no matter how hard she tries.

At first, Lily thinks it’s all about Harry.

She imagines she must have been kept here to protect him, and she follows his movements as he grows old. She weeps when she sees him adapting to his tiny space in the cupboard under the stairs and at night she ensures Petunia is restless and unsettled. Lily’s anger is sharp and intense and she aches with the desire to hold Harry close and tell him how loved he is and how very proud he makes her.

The pain of seeing Harry belittled and bullied by her own family leaves Lily shaking and pained. She curses Peter for allowing all that she loved to be taken from her.

Sometimes Lily visits Sirius in the darkness of Azkaban and wonders at the horrors of a place even the dead fear to visit. She sits next to him on his narrow bed and strokes her fingers through his hair.

He is warm, she is cold.

His heart beats restlessly and she places her head on his chest to listen to the sound of life.

She whispers he’s at Hogwarts and lets the paper flutter through the air, caught on the breath of the wind.

She waits for Sirius to wake, and hopes.

* * *

When the spell hits Sirius, it tears through Lily's body and stops at her heart.

“Don’t take him. Harry needs him. Don’t take him.”

Lily cries until her throat is sore and her voice is hoarse.

Eventually she lifts herself from the cool marble floor of the Ministry and watches the shadows in the corner of the vast space take on an almost human form. For the first time since Lily's death the ache of loneliness dissipates.

“Where have you been?” James is confused and he beckons to Lily. “I’ve been looking for you forever.”

“Lost.” Lily looks at Sirius, who leans against the wall and crosses his legs at the ankle. He looks younger and poses with his usual confidence. “And I’m not the only one.”

“Not so lost anymore.” Sirius pushes off the wall and stands next to James.

For one heart breaking moment, Lily wonders if this is it. The possibility that she might lose both of them is a pain she doesn’t think she can bear.

“Is this the end?” She masks the tremble in her voice.

“Not yet. Not quite.” James smiles and the darkness lifts. “Are you coming with us, Evans?”

Lily looks at Sirius, who responds by winking and stretching out his hand.

Lily smiles in response, warm for the very first time. “Always.”

~Fin~*