Here on Kelly Chambliss's rec in the Quibbler, and I'm so glad I found this gem. It's an almost impossible pairing to pull off, and you manage it so smoothly and so fully IC.
Millicent is still so terribly young, and already so hurt and cynical for someone her age. She wants to feel her fist solidly connect with them, to split the lips that say of course she's with him, that fat ugly slag, who else would have her? Great Millicent line, and so beautifully mirrored when Aberforth sees the scar on her knuckle and recognises it for what it is.
Millicent's feeling of triumph over the stupid boys who would just use her is just the right mix of glee and despair that she is the ugly one, and that they would say and think just this.
And Aberforth, the observer with all the wisdom of his great age. Her face still has that awkward, half-finished look of youth, but sometimes he looks at her sidelong and fancies he can see what she'll look like with all the blanks filled in, who she'll be when she's all grown up. A beautiful line.
His comments on the banality of wrongdoing are so perfectly IC, too.
And the beautiful near-parallel final lines of each section.
Millicent is still so terribly young, and already so hurt and cynical for someone her age. She wants to feel her fist solidly connect with them, to split the lips that say of course she's with him, that fat ugly slag, who else would have her? Great Millicent line, and so beautifully mirrored when Aberforth sees the scar on her knuckle and recognises it for what it is.
Millicent's feeling of triumph over the stupid boys who would just use her is just the right mix of glee and despair that she is the ugly one, and that they would say and think just this.
And Aberforth, the observer with all the wisdom of his great age. Her face still has that awkward, half-finished look of youth, but sometimes he looks at her sidelong and fancies he can see what she'll look like with all the blanks filled in, who she'll be when she's all grown up. A beautiful line.
His comments on the banality of wrongdoing are so perfectly IC, too.
And the beautiful near-parallel final lines of each section.
Great job.