Title: Disorderly Conduct
Author: mindabbles
Characters/Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Padlocks, Sacofricosis
Word Count: 1500
Summary/Description: No meeting can end soon enough. Especially not this one.
Author's Notes: A little visit back to the first OTP. :)



This isn't the way he'd intended the evening to go. His life hasn't gone as he'd intended it, he thought, so if he was surprised, he should bloody well get over it.

He'd had a quiet evening at home planned—just Remus and him and a bottle and some long-awaited quality time.

It's a shame, really. As if another infernal, impromptu meeting couldn't wait. As far as he could tell, there wasn't anything that really needed discussing tonight. You'd think they couldn't wipe their own arses without having a meeting to discuss the right amount of loo paper to use.

It's a waste of the whisky he and Remus had consumed in their earlier preparation for this evening. That's the real shame of it.

Unless Dumbledore whisks Remus off to play fiddlesticks with werewolves, that is, then the real shame of it will be the waste of the tortured look on Remus' face.

The padlock can't be comfortable. Granted, Remus has weathered more uncomfortable things than a bit of metal around his cock.

*

Remus shifts in his seat. The lock and metal cage must be pressing against his balls. Remus' eyes dart to Sirius. Sirius wonders if the padlock has taken on the warmth of Remus' body. As soon as he gets Remus alone, as soon as all these blowhards stop going on about whatever they're on about now, he'll strip Remus bare and press his mouth to that lock, work his tongue around it to taste Remus' skin.

Remus stands. He's holding his robe out from his front, just a bit. He's a tankard of Butterbeer in his hand, so no one else will notice it. He glances at Sirius again and licks his lips. Sirius knows now. Remus is hard as a rock beneath he robes, beneath his even tone and his reasonable conversation. No one else knows and no one else in this room knows that, when Sirius gets him alone, as soon as he strips him bare, Remus will be anything but even and reasonable.

Sirius' cock throbs.

*

"Sirius," Remus says. "What do you think?"

Remus is the one who always asks him for his opinion. Not that Sirius waits to be asked. Tonight, he doesn't want to contribute a single word to make this infernal meeting last longer than it already has.

"I think we've masticated the subject long enough," he says.

Remus' eyes dart to the ceiling for just a second. He nearly smiles and then he launches into another topic that gets Tonks all worked up and he remembers. Remus is a sadist.

He used to do this when they were in school, 7th year, when all Sirius could think about was getting Remus alone and fucking him. It's a wonder he got any NEWTS at all. His blood didn't spend much time in his brain. Sirius feels his cock swell and his face heat. He looks back at Remus, who is talking to Bill, but looking at Sirius. Remus smiles and rolls his hips, almost imperceptibly. Only Sirius would have seen that and only Sirius would have seen the silent gasp that escapes Remus' lips at the moment when the padlock must have caught on his skin.

Everything but how Sirius wants to push him into a cupboard and fuck him, just as badly as when they were seventeen, fades. There's no one else in the room, and memories of staring at Remus, sitting on the edge of his seat and nearly flying out of his skin in his desire to get Remus alone, flood him. Nights in the common room, chatting with James, and Remus would just look and something in his eyes would tell Sirius, would compel him to follow him the moment he could extract himself.

Sometimes that wasn't possible. There were Quidditch strategies to debate and essays to write and sometimes Remus was a sadist and would make Sirius wait. Like he was now, when really, the one with the padlock squeezing his cock should not be the one in charge.

*

"This reminds me of something," Remus is saying, still talking to Bill. He turns again to look at Sirius. "When we were in school."

Sirius has no idea what Remus is going on about because the way his eyes are stripping Sirius down and making him want to leap across the room at him, leave his blood pounding in his ears and he can't hear anything that anyone is saying anymore.

History of Magic lessons had been like this. That's probably not what Remus meant. Only now, Sirius has a brilliant idea of his own. Once, during 7th year, Binns had been droning on even more than everyone in this meeting is now. Remus' fringe had been flopping over into his face and he'd had his lip caught between his teeth. Sirius hadn't been able to take it anymore. He'd slipped his wand into his pocket and cut a slit, opening his pocket. He'd slid his hand inside and pressed down on his aching cock.

His wand is still in the folds of his robe. He touches his wand to the inside of his pocket and the fabric gives way. He slips his hand in and curls his hand around the bulge of his hard cock.

"Remus," Sirius says, "This reminds me of something as well."

*

"I'm beginning to wonder if this meeting will ever end," Remus says. His head falls back against the wall, in the corridor behind the kitchen, as Sirius pushes open his robe.

"You keep introducing new topics," says Sirius, falling to his knees in front of Remus.

Remus threads his fingers through Sirius' hair. "That's why I thought it'd never end."

"Arse," Sirius breathes out. His cheek is pressed against Remus' naked thigh. He darts out his tongue and touches the metal ring of the padlock. It circles the top of Remus' cock. Another hangs down in front of Remus' balls, securing the series of metal rings that cage Remus' cock. Sirius trails his fingers along the warm metal and Remus gasps. "You've been half hard this whole time, haven't you?"

"You're avoiding the issue," Remus says. He holds Sirius' head, angling it so Sirius' breath ghosts across his cock and Sirius can feel the warmth coming off him. "You're cheating."

Remus loves to drive Sirius to distraction. He has done since the first time he discovered he had that particular power.

He knew Remus knew what he was doing with his hand in his pocket, but the bastard didn't break, just kept bringing up brilliant ideas for strategy, recruitment, whatever-the-bloody-hell-else he was talking about. When Sirius thought he'd burst if he didn't come, he'd excused himself to use the loo. Remus had been right on his heels.

He could hear the drone of the voices in the kitchen. Anyone could come around the corner and see them. He slides his hand back through the gap in his pocket and finally wraps his hand around his aching cock. He reaches for the padlock at the top of Remus' cock.

"No," Remus says. "Not yet. We're going back to the meeting in a moment and I want you to know that I'm still hard, that I'm still under lock and key, waiting for you, waiting until I can fuck you. It makes these meetings so much more interesting."

"Fuck, Remus," Sirius groans. He slides his mouth over the metal cage. By pressing his tongue against it, he can feel the smoothness of Remus' skin beneath. Remus moans and Sirius doesn't know how he can stand it.

Sirius strokes his own cock as he works his tongue against Remus'. The metal bites into him if he's not careful, and the padlock knocks against his hand as he tries to caress Remus' balls. Remus' hand twines in his hair, not quite pulling.

"Harder, Sirius," Remus says. "Stroke yourself harder."

Sirius squeezes his fingers around his cock and strokes. Remus is watching his face and stroking his hair. Sirius pulls back and Remus' bound cock slides from his mouth. He presses his lips to the place where Remus' groin meets his thigh and sucks. Remus breathes out a slow, ragged breath. He sounds like he does just before he comes and that makes Sirius stroke his cock faster. He's slick now and he lingers on the head, feeling a damp spot in the front if his robe.

Sirius looks up into Remus' eyes. He loves Sirius' cock and his arse. He loves his hand and his mouth, but it's his eyes that can undo him every time.

"Come, Sirius," Remus says.

Sirius fucks into his fist. He can't look away from Remus and he can't take it anymore. Remus breathes out a quiet, yes, and Sirius' hand stutters on his cock as he comes. He hears the fabric of his robe rip.

"You ripped a lot of robes in 7th year as well, if I remember correctly," Remus says. "I always wondered how someone who had House-elves for everything was so good at mending robes."

"All to your credit, Moony." Sirius laughs breathlessly and leans back against the wall. His robe is sticky and ripped and he can feel his face burning.

Remus rights his clothes and he looks as cool and even as ever. "Now, collect yourself," Remus says. "I'm going to make some excuse for our absence and then you're going to come back to the meeting. You're going to watch me and know that I'm hard and waiting for you. Think about it and think about how my cock feels inside this thing. And when you're hard again, find a way to let me know."

"Don't reckon it'll take long," Sirius says.

Remus leans down and presses his lips to Sirius'. He pulls Sirius' bottom lip between his. "Mend that pocket before you come back, eh?"

"We'll see if you get Moody on another tangent or not, and how long it is before you're fucking me, before I'll commit to that."

If he knows Remus, and he does, he'll take that as a challenge. Perhaps impromptu meetings have their uses after all.