Title: The More Things Remain
Characters/Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: dirty talk
Other Warnings: much discussion of previous underage sexual encounters
Word Count: 3,100
Summary/Description: There's more than one way to reminisce.
Author's Notes: Thank you so much to mypretty_art for allowing me to write a story based on her lovely drawing: Same But Different. Please let her know if you think it's as gorgeous as I did. This takes place immediately after Remus and Sirius befuddle Harry by swelling with affection at what an idiot his father was when he was fifteen.



"So, I wasn't an idiot, then?" Remus asks. He sits at the kitchen table, leaning on his arms, hands splayed on the scarred wood. He has an easy, relaxed air about him and a smile playing just at the corner of his lips.

"Not as much as Snape, at any rate." Sirius sits across from him, as he has done so many times, at so many different tables. He feels lighter than he has in weeks.

"Thanks ever so much," Remus says, laughing. It's a bright sound that cuts through the gloom of this house.

"Think Harry's view of his dad is irrevocably damaged?" Sirius asks. He places his hands on the table, inches from Remus'.

"James was human." Remus shrugs. "Reckon it doesn't do any harm for Harry to know that."

Sirius can see James rumpling his hair, swaggering about one moment, jumping to defend a first year the next. "We should tell him more about James, what kind of person he was. And Lily."

Remus grins and touches the tips of Sirius' finger with his. And dear Merlin, Sirius thinks, but he can see Remus' face the first time they kissed when he smiles like that. "Should we tell him about the incident with the frog in fifth year Transfiguration?"

"I'm certain that wouldn't improve his opinion of either of them. And, the incident with the frog? That's an interesting choice of words, Moony."

"James was a frog at the time."

"He really was half an idiot a lot of the time," Sirius says. He grins at Remus' affectionate smile.

"And he was the other half of that idiot the rest of the time," Remus says. He takes both of Sirius' hands.

Sirius laughs. He can see James strutting into the dormitory, flush with a victory on the pitch. "Do you remember how he used to come in from Quidditch and re-enact his most brilliant moves?'

"He was indeed a legend in his own mind."

Sirius takes a deep breath. Remus' smile is a lovely, luminescent thing and he doesn't want to ruin the mood, but the words slip from his mouth before he can stop them. "He certainly became a legend immediately after his own time."

Remus tightens his fingers around Sirius'. He looks into Sirius' eyes. Sirius can breathe when he's the subject of Remus' fond gaze.

"I remember how you used to come in from Quidditch," Remus says. His smile becomes lopsided and mischievous.

"Do you, now? And how was that?" Sirius' stomach flutters like it did when he was sixteen and Remus smiled like that.

Remus slides his hand over Sirius' and Sirius cradles his wrist. He can't take his eyes of Remus, his Remus, who he's getting to know again day by day; Moony who is so changed by time and loss and loneliness, yet so essentially the same.

"You'd strut into the room and hold forth about your brilliance on the pitch, and I'd watch you, everywhere you went, driving half the school mad," Remus says. "It's not only that you were the fittest bloke at the school, and you were that, it was just you. Everyone wanted you in one way or another."

"And you had me," Sirius says. "What does that make you?"

"Bloody lucky," Remus says, grinning.

"All those years in Azkaban, I thought everyday about what I missed. I missed James. I missed seeing Harry grow, but every moment, I missed your smile."

"Sirius," Remus says. "Padfoot, I know."

"Should we tell Harry about us?" Sirius asks. Harry should know. Sirius is his guardian and he's never going to be apart from either him or Remus again. Harry will finally have a family, or they all will--if Harry will have them. "Should we tell him that James was fine about it?"

"Do you remember when he caught us?" Remus asks. His eyes are bright, mischievous. He's had enough of sombre talk for the evening.

"I do." Sirius runs his thumb across the back of Remus' hands. They're all knuckles, strong and broad and so much more well-worked than they were all those years ago when Sirius first felt them on his skin. "I remember that you came the second he stumbled out of the dorm room, before I'd even sucked your cock."

"Not before, surely," Remus says. The corner of his mouth quirks up in that lopsided smile. "I'd hate to think I gave up an opportunity to have you suck my cock."

"Yes before. I remember every detail. I'd pushed you down on the bed. My hands were on your chest. I wanted you so badly. I kissed you everywhere and had only just kissed the very tip of your cock when he walked in and stopped me from pulling you all the way into my mouth."

"My, you do remember," Remus says. He bites the corner of his lips.

"Yes, well, it was a tragedy," Sirius says. He feels disoriented for a moment. He's assaulted by memories of Remus, young and tender, so in love with him that his head spun whenever their lips touched. "I remember lots of things. I remember what it was like to think about nothing but the next time we could be alone. I remember when the only important thing was falling in love with you."

Remus takes a deep breath and Sirius holds his. He never knows when he might say too much, come at it too intense, and that is the gift about being with Remus. No matter how hard, how difficult, how pained he is, Remus can contain it.

Remus gets that look he always used to before they pulled off the most brilliant prank of their school careers.

"Do you remember what you did at the Quidditch pitch when Gryffindor won that match in sixth year?"

And just like that, he changes the mood. He's been doing that since they've found each other again—when the shadows pull at Sirius too hard, Remus is the only one who can bring him back.

"Moony, I owe a large part of my sanity to being able to remember that night," Sirius says. He loves the little lines that Remus has by his eyes when he smiles now. That's one of the many tiny changes that he might not notice so well if he hadn't spent so many hours studying Remus' face when they were younger.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not sure it's worked." Remus raises his eyebrows. His chocolate brown eyes twinkle.

"Arse," Sirius says. You could dive into those eyes.

"Well, the status of your sanity aside, I remember every detail of that afternoon," Remus says. He looks down and seems to retreat into his own head for just a moment. "Gryffindor won. I ran onto the pitch after. James was the centre of attention, everyone clapping him on the back."

"I walked over to you."

"You walked over to me and I grabbed your hand. No one—"

"No one could see because everyone had poured onto the pitch," Sirius says. He can remember the feel of the crush of people around them and Remus' fingers on his skin. He was terrified because he didn't know if this was different for Remus, but knew that it was for him. He laced his fingers with Remus'.

"You," Remus says, catching his breath. "You took my hand and I nearly passed out because I'd been in love with you for a year."

"Pft. A year?" Sirius laughs lightly. "That's nothing, Moony. I'm sure I was near onto three."

"Yes, well, you always were an over-achiever."

"If we hadn't just trounced Ravenclaw, I probably never would have pulled you off behind a tree."

"You didn't have to pull very hard."

"No," Sirius says. “I recall that you came along rather willingly.”

Remus pulls on his hand until Sirius is standing.

"James suspected right then. He told me later that he knew," Sirius says as Remus pulls him around the table until he's standing right in front of him. "What would he say to see what bitter old men we've become?" Sirius smiles down at Remus. He brushes his hand through Remus’ soft hair. It might be a bit thinner and certainly grayer about the edges, but it’s just as soft as it was when he was sixteen.

Remus touches him, hand curled against his hip. "I'm not feeling terribly bitter just now," Remus says. He steers Sirius closer and Sirius straddles him, sinking down into his lap.

Remus runs his hands up Sirius’ back. Sirius leans and kisses him, nearly overwhelmed with gratitude that he can, indeed, kiss him again.

"You pushed me against that tree and kissed me like you thought I might Apparate away if you didn’t make quick work of it," Remus says. He tilts his head and there’s that slightly lopsided smile, inviting more kisses.

Sirius traces Remus’ lips with his tongue. When Remus opens his mouth in a sigh, Sirius dips his tongue inside, touching just the tips of their tongues together.

“Mm,” Remus moans. He tilts his head and opens wider for Sirius, pulling Sirius’ tongue into his mouth. “Mm,” Remus moans again as Sirius slides his tongue slowly back and forth along Remus’. He sucks on Remus’ tongue, pulling it into his mouth for a moment before he pulls back, ending the kiss with a press of their lips.

"I was afraid you’d disappear," Sirius says, his cheek pressed against Remus’.

"I didn’t." Remus’ fingers trail through Sirius’ hair.

"No," Sirius says, wrapping his arms tightly around him. "Never. Not even when I deserved it."

"Sirius," Remus murmurs. He smooths Sirius’ hair back from his face and Sirius feels the shadows recede again.

Remus’ hands move down Sirius’ back to curl around his arse. He pulls Sirius even closer and rocks his hips up. He’s hard and Sirius moans softly and grinds down.

"I used to watch you whenever I could, before, before I knew you were watching, too. I'd wait to catch a glimpse of you coming from the bath or dressing," Remus says. His hands are at the fastenings of Sirius’ robe, loosening it. "I felt guilty, but I couldn’t stop myself."

"I hoped you were watching," Sirius says. He’s as hard now as he’s ever been, blood racing through his body and urging him to take this faster. "I hoped you were watching and then I thought about you looking at me every night when I wanked. By the time we actually fucked, I‘d had you a thousand times in my imagination."

Sirius pushes Remus’ robe open and it dangles from his shoulders. He unfastens Remus’ trousers and reaches in to palm his hard cock.

"Ngh," Remus moans. He pushes up into Sirius’ hand and Sirius rubs the thin fabric of his pants over the head of his cock. "I remember the first time, feeling you push inside me. It hurt, but god it felt so good," Remus says. His voices is low and husky.

"You did take to it, rather," says Sirius. He presses harder against Remus’ cock and his own throbs every time he rubs over Remus’.

Remus hooks his thumbs under the waistband of Sirius’ trousers and pants and pulls them down around his hips. His legs are open across Remus’ lap and he feels filthy and exposed, spread over Remus, trousers halfway down.

"That’s because you took to it as well," Remus says. "I remember how you shook when you touched my arse." He runs his fingers along the cleft of Sirius’ arse, pushing one deeper in to brush over his entrance. Sirius groans and arches his back. "You nearly came when you slid that first finger inside me."

"I would have if I hadn’t had two wanks earlier in the day, thinking about what we were going to do that night," Sirius says. He remembers every detail of that night, of how it felt to touch Remus so intimately and know that he was the first one, and back then, hope that he’d be the only one. "You felt so hot and so tight."

"It amazed me how my body stretched around your fingers, and fuck how I could feel it," Remus says. He’s flushed and the spot where Sirius is slowly rubbing his pants over the head of his cock is soaked and slippery. "Each time you pushed in more, opened me more, I only wanted more. I had no idea it would be like that, so good I couldn‘t imagine how I‘d lived without it."

Remus reaches his hand down between them and lightly runs his fingers up the sides of Sirius’ cock. Sirius gasps. The light, teasing touch is almost too much.

He wants to beg Remus to let him do that now, reach behind him and slowly work him open until he’s shaking and begging for Sirius to push inside him. But Remus won’t stop talking and every word makes Sirius harder, more desperate.

"When I couldn’t take it anymore and I turned around, on my hands and knees, I thought I was going pass out from waiting for you," Remus whispers. He traces the underside of Sirius’ cock with his fingers and Sirius knows he’s going to come like this.

"I wanted to watch you, I wanted to be face-to-face," Sirius says. He watches Remus’ face. Some days, days like today, he’s in a near constant state of overwhelming gratitude at this second chance for them to get it right.

"But I wanted to be able to move back against you, make you fuck me hard. I wanted you to fuck me hard enough that I wouldn‘t be able to wonder the next morning if it had been a dream."

"Oh god, Remus," Sirius moans.

Remus grips his cock harder now and strokes from top to bottom, squeezing lightly over the head. Sirius rocks back and forth on Remus’ lap. He splays his hands on Remus’ chest, bracing himself and pinching Remus’ nipples between his fingers.

"You pulled my arse open with your hands, I remember that, and it felt so dirty. I was bent over and I knew you were looking at me, at where your cock would go, before you did it, and then you pressed your cock against me and I couldn’t breathe." Remus continues his relentless stroking and his eyes are burning, looking up at Sirius with desire so naked that Sirius can feel it.

"Fuck, god, Remus. Take your cock out. I want to see your cock."

Remus keeps stroking Sirius, running his thumb over the head, as he slips the waist band of his pants over his hard cock.

"So fucking gorgeous," Sirius says. He rubs his thumbs over Remus’ nipples and Remus groans. "Touch us both," Sirius says.

Remus wraps his hand around both of their cocks. The head of Sirius’ cock nudges Remus’ body with delicious pressure. Remus moves his hand slowly along their cocks, pressing them together. His little finger catches on the head of Sirius’ cock as he strokes back down and it makes the muscles in Sirius’ stomach twitch and jump.

"You slid into me so slowly, like you thought I would break," Remus says, resuming his tale. "Your cock went in bit by bit and I still couldn’t breathe, couldn’t beg you for more, but I wanted more, harder, faster."

"Yeah?" Sirius asks. He rolls his hips to urge Remus on, make his hand move harder and faster on their cocks. The friction as their cocks slide alongside each other makes Sirius curl his toes.

"When you were all the way inside me, and I knew we were really doing it, I could move. You pulled back and I felt every inch of your cock drag out of my hole. I wanted you to do that again and again and never stop. You were trembling, I could feel it where your hands held my hips. I could feel that you were gong to come, so I touched myself because I wanted to come at the same time."

Remus speeds his hand up. Sirius can feel how hard Remus’ cock is next to his. His own cock throbs and he has to move, fucking into Remus’ hand and making the friction burn.

"I want to fuck you like that now Moony," Sirius says. He moves faster and braces himself on Remus’ shoulders, fingers digging into Remus‘ skin.

"No, I want to fuck you," Remus says. His hand flies on their cocks. They‘re slick now and his hand moves easily. Sirius looks down and watches Remus stroke them. Remus has to work to hold them both, and his thick cock slides to press against the underside of Sirius’ longer one. He watches the heads of their cocks alternately disappear under Remus' grip and he gasps every time Remus' fingers squeeze over his. "It’s been a while. You’ll be tight and you’ll feel every inch of me. I‘ll slick you with my tongue and when you‘re begging, I'll work you open with my cock, bit by bit."

The words and the hand and the memories are too much and Sirius feels his orgasm start where his toes are curled against the floor.

"That’s it," Remus murmurs. "I want to see you come. Come on me. Slick my cock with your come so I can fuck you."

He rocks harder, trying to get more friction, get closer to Remus before it’s too much. His come coats Remus' belly and fingers and the slick heat makes the slide of Remus' hand so good he shudders.

"Fuck, Moony. Yes."

"Oh god, Sirius," Remus moans. He’s stroking himself with short, fast touches, rubbing Sirius’ come all over his prick. "Oh, yes." He moans again and Sirius couldn’t look away if he tried as Remus comes over his own hand and Sirius’ belly.

A flush spreads up Remus’ chest and they both pant, holding each other, wrapped around each other. Like this, completely enveloped in Remus’ embrace, his head on Remus’ shoulder, inhaling the scent of Remus and sex, Sirius can almost forget how much they’ve lost.

"I still want to fuck you," Remus says. The words are puffs of breath on Sirius’ neck and they make him shiver.

Sirius smiles. "Later, it seems. Regretfully, we’re not sixteen anymore and hard every ten minutes."

"Padfoot, take me up to your room, let me rest for a bit, maybe suck me if you’ve a mind. I promise, you can still make me hard every ten minutes." Remus looks up at Sirius, and there’s that fond, mischievous smile again.

Sirius extracts himself from Remus’ lap and takes his hand. "You’re on. Except that you’ll suck me, and while you’re doing it, I’ll tell you the story of the first time you discovered what a dab hand you were at the Incarcerous spell."