Title: Forty-Flavour Kisses
Author: kinky_kneazle
Required Character and Prompt: Filius Flitwick and ice cream
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Neville, George/Pansy, Snape/Lupin
Rating: NC-17
Content/Warnings: Let's see... D/s, rimming, collaring, anal sex, fingering, wall!sex, food!porn, fellatio
Word Count: 4,200
Summary/Description: Fortescue's newest product is ice cream flavoured lip balm, and it's just irresistible.
Author's Notes: The title comes from a line from the Monkees' song "Last Train to Clarksville" and did, in fact, give me the spark of inspiration for this fic. With love to uniquepov and curiouslyfic for giving me pairings and kinks to work with: this fic is for them. And even more love to curiouslyfic for the extra quick beta work.


Filius Flitwick stood on the riser behind the cash register. His assistant, the lovely Miss Lovegood, was the one who served the ice cream, but he liked to speak to each customer. He knew so many of them – he'd taught at Hogwarts for many years – and it was nice to see the new generation coming in for their first taste of Florean Fortescue's famous ice cream. Of course, Florean had never been found, but he had left the little shop to his best friend, and Filius was determined to keep it going in his honour.

That didn't mean he hadn't made a few improvements; added a few new products.

"What's this, Professor?"

"Harry, I'm not your teacher any more. You can call me Filius, or Mr Flitwick, if you must."

"Of course, um, Filius. And what -?"

"That is a new line of lip balm. I've called it Forty-Flavour Kisses, and there are, indeed, forty flavours contained in that little tin. It will taste like your favourite flavour of ice cream, or, if you are kissing someone, their favourite flavour. On sale – five sickles a jar with any ice cream purchase."

Filius smiled as Harry picked up a jar and smeared the balm over his lips. He handed over some money and Filius waved at the boy as he picked up his tub of ice cream and walked back out the door.


Harry walked out into the warm, summer air, enjoying the light taste of lemon sorbet on his lips. As he walked towards the Apparition point he noticed people were staring at his lips, rather than his scar. He smiled at the thought that his old charms teacher's lip balm made his lips look more luscious as well.

Once at the Apparition point he headed home, the tub of Neville's favourite clutched under his arm.

"Harry? Is that you?"

"Yup!" he called as he slipped the snozzberry ripple into the freezer. He turned, with a smile on his lips and found Neville's eyes moving from his eyes to his lips.

Harry's stomach clenched at that look; Neville looked downright predatory and Harry felt his cock throb in response.

"Sir?" he said hesitatingly, not sure what Neville was wanting.

"What's that on your lips?"

He held up the jar of Forty-Flavour Kisses wordlessly, his eyes still on the expression on Neville's face. Neville crossed the room in two strides, pulling Harry into a rough kiss.

"You smell – you taste – like snozzberry ripple ice cream."

"It's meant to change to the favourite flavour of whoever is tasting it."

"That's a tricky bit of charmwork."

"Professor Flitwick."

Neville kissed him again. "It's like you're irresistible suddenly." Another kiss. "You just taste so –" His hand was clenched tight in Harry's hair, Harry gasped as he yanked back.

"I'm not always irresistible?" he managed to gasp out.

"I usually have a little more control."

He did. Neville was always in control, and this wild man who was palming his cock and biting at his neck was exhilarating. Hands on his shoulders pushed him away and Harry heard himself whine.

"Trousers off and over the table, Harry."

Harry quickly obeyed, keeping his eyes on Neville who was struggling for breath. When he sat on the table Neville smiled.

"Bend over the table."

Harry turned, adjusting his cock so that it was hard against the table and his belly.

"Where's that balm? Accio lip balm." Harry heard the thud in his hand and moments later felt cool gel smearing around his rim then pressing into his arse. "Fuck, Harry, I have to – "

Then Harry felt fingers press into his flesh and spread him open and seconds later a tongue swiped over his hole. He heard a strangled croak escape his throat and he grasped the edges of the table, as if it could stop him flying away.

Neville pulled away long enough to murmur, "Fucking love snozzberry ripple," then his tongue was pushing in, fucking Harry and it seemed like he was trying to lick every smear of lip balm from Harry's body.

"Please," Harry begged as he pushed back onto Neville's tongue.

"Please, what? Do you want me to fuck you? Or do you want to come on my tongue? Tell me, Pet."

Harry groaned. "Fuck me," he said. "Please, fuck me." There was nothing he liked more than his Master's cock up his arse.

Neville didn't move straight away. He nuzzled his face forward again, a soft moan escaping his lips as he circled his tongue around Harry's rim.

Then he stood and Harry could feel the rough material of the trousers he wore in the garden against the back of his thighs. One of Neville's boots nudged Harry's feet and he obediently widened his stance, knowing his hole was on display for Neville's eyes.

"You want this, then?"

Harry felt the tip of Neville's cock smear pre-come across his hole. "Yes, Sir. Please."

He was expecting to be teased. Expecting Neville to wait and draw it out like he normally did. But Neville gripped his hips tight and seated himself in one, sure thrust. Harry heard himself whimper, but didn't bother to hide it. He knew how much Neville liked to hear his moans and pleas.

Neville pulled him up so that he was leaning on his hands, Neville's chest pressed against his back. The new angle made him feel even fuller, and Neville's hand on his cock sent pleasure soaring through him.

He had to wait. Had to get permission before he was allowed to lose control. But Neville was thrusting hard and fast and his hand was moving with the same rhythm, giving a little twist at the end of each stroke.

"Sir, please, I can't-" He tipped his head back, resting against Neville's shoulder as he gritted his teeth and tried not to give in.

"Come, Harry. I can't wait and I want to feel you. Come for me, Pet."

There was a final twist and Harry clenched and spurted and gasped and screamed and felt Neville's cock pulse inside him. His arms gave wavered, then collapsed, sending them sprawling across the table.

"Happy anniversary?" Harry said with a laugh. He shivered as lips pressed to the top of his spine.

"Accio Harry's present," Neville said.

"This wasn't my present?" Harry felt Neville's chuckle through his entire body.

"This was completely unexpected." He pulled away, but didn't clean them, instead left his come dripping down Harry's thighs. Harry turned and at a gesture from Neville he sank to his knees. "Do you think the balm is drugged?"

"By Professor Flitwick? I highly doubt it."

"Yeah, you're right. It's you that's irresistible. That's why I got you this."

He held out a box and Harry frowned slightly at the way Neville was fidgeting; it wasn't like him to be nervous.

"You don't have to accept it. I mean, I'd understand."

Harry quickly ripped the paper open and opened the box, staring at the circle of emerald leather in the box.

"It's dragonhide. From a, um, a horntail."

Harry didn't think his smile could get any wider. He pushed the box into Neville's hands and spun on the spot, bowing his head. "Could you put it on me? Please?"

The leather was fastened around his neck and Harry grabbed a hand and pulled it to his lips. "I only got you snozzberry ripple ice cream. I hope you don't mind." He was pulled to his feet.

"You got me you, Harry. And I'm going to enjoy eating snozzberry ripple ice cream from every inch of your body."

* * *

"You're here on your lunch break, Miss Parkinson?"

"Yes, Professor."

Filius smiled at the girl as she took a lick of her banana-caramel twirl. He had always liked her, had seen past the mask she wore at school. Since the war and her new job she was definitely friendlier, at least with him.

"Take a jar of our new lip balm," he said, hoping to see her smile.

"Thank you, Sir."

"It will always be your favourite flavour, Miss Parkinson."

She smiled her thanks and smeared it on as she walked out the door.


George watched Pansy as she walked past the front window of Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. She was licking an ice cream cone and George knew without asking that it was banana-caramel twirl. She was a creature of habit, his Pansy, and her lunch routine was no exception. A small salad that she brought from home, a cup of tea from the staff kitchen, and then a walk to Fortescue's where she got a small banana-caramel twirl and ate it on her walk back to the store.

His Pansy. He snorted before turning his attention back to the small girl in front of him. She was not his in any way that mattered. In any way he wanted. She was his employee and he was going to keep his hands off her, as he should, no matter how hard it turned out to be.

The small bell tinkled as she walked in, carefully popping the final bit of cone in her mouth. Then she took a jar from her pocket and smeared some of whatever was inside it on her lips. That was a new addition to the routine. He found himself looking at her lips, at the way they now seemed moist as if she'd just licked them. He watched as she actually did lick them, a smile curving across her face.

He wanted to kiss her. Wanted to kiss that smile and taste those lips and –

"Sir? Am I meant to have change?"

"Of course," George said looking down at his customer. "One sickle and two knuts. Here you are."

The day wore on and he found he could not keep his eyes off her.

When he looked up at her behind the counter there was always a small smile curving across her face. When they brushed past each other when walking between the aisles, her tongue would dart out to moisten her lower lip. And when she poked her head into the storeroom to call for him, she threw him a saucy grin he wanted to kiss right off her mouth.

As the last customer finally left the store and he waved his wand to lock the place, Pansy pulled out the little jar and rubbed more of the stuff on her lips.

"What is that?"

"A new lip balm that Professor Flitwick is selling. He's calling it Forty-Flavour Kisses." She stepped towards him, holding the jar up. "It's meant to taste like whatever your favourite flavour is."

"Can I try it?"

"Of course." She held out the jar, but he ignored it and stepped into her space, waiting for her to pull away.

"Can I try it from here?" He rubbed a thumb along the plump lower lip that he'd been staring at all day.

"Of course," she said again, this time a little breathlessly. He leaned down and slowly, carefully, waiting to see if she moved away, he licked the balm from her lip.

He drew away, looking down as her tongue traced where his own had just been. "You taste like candy canes and strawberries," he said. "I didn't even know Fortescue's had that flavour."

"I guess you learn something new every day."

"Tastes good," he said, tilting his head. "May I have another taste?"

She nodded, and this time when he pressed his lips to hers she kissed back, her hand cupping the back of his head and pulling him closer. It was like the balm set a fire between them, sulphur going up everywhere their bodies touched and George turned them so he could press her against the dark oak of the door.

Merlin, he hadn't even known how much he'd wanted this until he'd tasted those lips. He pushed forward, his cock hard against her hip, and delighted in the way she arched against him, the way her head fell back, exposing her long neck to his lips. His hand inched its way up her thigh and traced around the lace of her knickers.

"Please, George."

He wasn't sure what she wanted, but he'd just go with it until she told him to stop. He slipped his fingers under the satiny material and through the moisture gathered there.

"Fuck, Pansy."

One of her legs rose to hug his thigh and she tilted her hips, sending his fingers deep into her.

"That." She pulled him closer and George ground the heel of his hand against her. "Just like that."

He groaned, rocking his cock against her soft flesh in time with the thrusting of his fingers. "Been wanting this for so long, Pansy. So very long."

She looked at him with wide eyes as she moved her hips, urging him faster.

"Every step, every smile, every cheeky wiggle of those hips. Every time I heard your laugh I just wanted to throw you down and worship you."

She whimpered and he had to bite his lip to stop himself coming in his pants.

"And now you taste so," he licked the corner of her mouth, "very," then the other corner, "good."

She didn't let him lick again, instead turning her head so she could capture his lips, her fingers clutching at his hair as she rocked her hips against him. He was glad of the sharp nails digging in to his scalp; the pain distracted him enough from the pressure building in his balls to concentrate on the feel of the moisture coating his hand, her hot walls of her cunt drawing his fingers in.

He drew back from their kiss so he could watch the emotions play over her face, and was delighted at the soft whimpers that escaped her mouth.

"Yes," she said as ground down against his hand. "Don't stop, George. Please."

Merlin, he could listen to her voice like this all day. "I won't. Promise," he whispered before nibbling at her ear.

He pushed her harder against the wall, his cock moving desperately against her soft flesh as he pressed them together tight. Her hands were around his shoulders now, a long stream of obscenities leaving her mouth as she moved frantically against his hand.

"Harder," she said, and he obeyed, pressing deep inside her.

"Wanna watch you come, Pansy. Wanna hear you scream my name. So beautiful, Pansy, so –"

Then it happened. Her muscles clenched around his fingers and her body shook against his as his name escaped her lips, not in a scream, but in a perfect whisper.

"Fuck," he said, then he pressed his lips against hers again, taking in that minty strawberry taste and moving against her fast and hard until he was coming in his pants like a green school boy.

"Umm," he said, rather eloquently he thought, once he'd got his breath back.

"I think I scratched you," she replied, and he suddenly felt the pain from where her nails left lines down his back. His cock gave a feeble throb of interest.

He pulled away from her, looking at his feet feeling more unsure than he had in a long time. They stared at each other for a long time.

"So, are you going to buy me dinner, George Weasley?" she asked finally.

"Yes, Ma'am," he answered with a grin.

* * *

"How is the new product going, Filius?"

Filius looked up at the sound of his partner's voice. "It's proving popular, so far, Severus. I think spring must be in the air as well. There were a lot of amorous couples in the street today. Hopefully the lip balm is adding to the enjoyment of the kisses."

Severus Snape was actually the genius behind Forty-Flavour Kisses, his potions skills allowing him to mix a chameleon base that could hold all the flavours. He was also the primary creator of new concoctions for the shop. Although Filius would never wish serious injury on anyone, the fact that Severus could no longer make precise, complex potions had really been a huge boon for the shop. Severus made the ice cream and Filius served the customers; it was a perfect partnership.

"I'm glad it's doing well," Severus said, unscrewing one of the little tubs and giving it a sniff. "Please let me know if there are any complaints."

Filius watched him pocket the little tub and turn to leave. "Severus?" he said. "You did correct for the mild compulsion charm I had to add in, didn’t you? You said you could fix it in the potions work."

Severus gave him a smile that he wasn't at all sure he trusted. "Of course, Filius," he said after smearing his lips with the balm.


Remus Lupin stepped out of the Floo and into Severus Snape's small living area. Of all the odd jobs he did to keep a roof above his head, this was his favourite. If Sybil Trelawney had predicted that Severus would go into the ice-cream business, people would have finally put her in the bed next to Gilderoy Lockhart at St Mungo's, but he had, indeed, given up potions and focussed on sweets. That he had hired Remus as taste-tester extraordinaire was even more unbelievable.

But once a week he would turn up and be presented with small bowls of various flavours and give his opinion to the greasy git who was no longer greasy or quite so gittish. Of course, with every week it was harder and harder to concentrate on the flavours of the ice cream when what he really wanted to taste was his employer. Merlin, what Sirius would say if he knew Remus was dreaming of kissing Severus Snape.

"Severus?" he called when he saw the room was empty.

"One moment, Lupin," the silky voice replied. "I'm just readying your samples. Choc-caramel fudge."

Remus walked towards the kitchen and almost walked into the other man. He watched, horrified, as the ice-cream bowl flew up, right onto Severus' nose.

"What in blazes, Lupin?"

"I'm sorry," he said, biting his lip in an attempt not to smile, but now that he was looking at Severus he was caught not by the choc-caramel fudge on the man's nose, but a sheen on his lips. He reached up and ran his thumb across the thin lower lip, as if in a trance. Severus' tongue flicked out and as it touched his thumb, Remus jerked his hand back as if burned. "I'm sorry," he said again, though this time he was apologising for something completely different.

But there was something in Severus' eyes, something in the way he leaned forward, following his hand as if looking for more. Severus blinked, and handed a bowl to him, but Remus only turned to place it on a nearby table.

"You have to taste it before it melts," Severus said a little breathlessly.

"I want to taste something else," Remus replied, then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Severus'. He gave in to temptation and traced that lower lip with his tongue, then almost jerked back in surprise at the taste. "Triple-choc treat," he murmured. "My favourite."

"It's the lip balm," Severus said quickly. "It will taste like your favourite flavour."

"It tastes very well on you," Remus replied. "Do all your creations taste better from your skin?"

"I – I don't know."

The choc-caramel fudge was still on Severus' nose, though it was a little smeared after that kiss. "I can find out," Remus said. Then, not quite believing he was doing it, Remus snaked his tongue out to lick the ice cream from Severus' nose. Severus' hands gripped his arms, as if keeping him steady, and Remus settled his hands on the man's waist.

"Well?" Severus demanded.

Remus hummed in pleasure. "It's very good, Severus, but to truly know if your ice cream tastes better from your skin, I'd need a larger sample – of ice cream and skin."

Remus wasn’t sure how it happened, but he was pressed against the wall, Severus' lean body pressing into his, as tubs of ice cream came zooming from the store downstairs. It seemed like every chocolate flavour Fortescue's made had come to a rest in a circle around them, but that was less fascinating than the erection pressing against his own.

"Is this a big enough sample?" Severus asked.

"It will need a lot of skin," he replied, and was rather gratified when suddenly both of them were naked.

"Big enough sample?" This time the man smirked and Remus moved quickly, turning them so that it was Severus pressed against the wall.

"Definitely," he said, then he summoned the nearest tub – orange chocolate – and dug his fingers into it before smearing a line from Severus' shoulder to his nipple. The man didn't even tense at the cold, though his cock twitched, smearing moisture along Remus' thigh.

Remus breathed in, the smell of chocolate and orange and Snape filling his senses. Then he pressed his tongue to the nipple that the ice cream had hardened into a tight nub and he licked.

They both moaned, Remus at the taste and Severus at the feel, and Remus quickly summoned the next tub and the next.

Cherry-choc delight. Mocha swirl. Choc-nut crunch. Mint-choc chunk. He tasted the ice-cream from every inch of Severus' body. Well, every inch except the ones between his legs. He was saving that delicious erection until last, even with how very tempting it was, and how hearing Severus Snape beg was eating at his self-control.

"Lupin, please," Severus said as he moved restlessly against the wall.

"What flavour?" he asked and Severus pointed to the bowl that was still sitting on the table. The new one. Choc-caramel fudge.

The ice cream had not quite melted completely, and Remus scooped it out and rubbed it over the gorgeous erection. Severus' groan echoed through the room, low and deep and surging straight to his cock. He couldn't resist; he took the whole thing in his mouth, right to the base, and drew his mouth back up, drawing his tongue along the underside, sucking every drip of choc-caramel fudge that he could into his mouth.

"It's delicious," he said in the heartbeat there was before Severus pulled him forward.

He obediently opened his mouth, humming at the feel of those long fingers threading through his hair and digging into his scalp. Smears of chocolate remained and he swirled his tongue, seeking them out, even as Severus thrust into him.

"Fuck, Remus!" Severus said, and Remus thought his name coming from those lips was the best thing he'd ever heard. He relaxed his throat and let Severus thrust into him. His hand was wrapped around his cock, and he wondered how it had got there even as he moved it in time with Severus' hips.

He heard himself whimper, the sound muffled, but Severus seemed to hear it anyway if the tightening of his fingers was anything to go by.

"I'm going to –"

Remus looked up then, tilting his head so he could see Severus' face, meet his eyes. Obviously the permission he was trying to convey came across, because seconds later Severus growled and a warm fluid filled his mouth, tasting better than any ice cream, any chocolate concoction he'd ever had the opportunity to taste. Pleasure shuddered through him, spiked in his groin and he was spilling on the floor as Severus' cock finally stopped pulsing inside him.

He carefully got to his feet and kissed Severus again. "Now it tastes like choc-caramel fudge. And you. Guess I have a new favourite."


In the dark of the night Severus carefully disentangled his arms from around Remus and climbed out of bed. He padded naked to his workroom and took two books from the shelf above his desk.

He opened the first to the page titled 'Choc-caramel fudge' and drew five stars next to the recipe. It was a success, and he'd start producing enough for sale next week.

He opened the second book and whispered the password – a Potions Master kept his notes secret, whether he was experimenting with Wolfsbane or lip balms. This page was titled 'Forty-Flavour Kisses', and he dipped his quill carefully into the ink and began to make notes.

From my conversation with Lupin following our copulation activities, it appears the compulsion charm worked as expected – if both parties greatly desired the kiss, then the balm would make the desire to kiss impossible to resist. I wonder if anyone will complain about this side-effect, or if they will dismiss it as their own lack of willpower as Lupin did.

Still, as it has served my purposes, I will make the next batch with the ingredients to counteract the charm.

Then he drew six stars next to the recipe and padded back to his bed. Lupin - Remus - turned towards him, lips automatically seeking him out, and he took a moment to enjoy a kiss and the taste of spiced coffee from the lip balm. Dirty Chai – still his favourite flavour, and tasting all the better from Remus' lips.

Yes, the lip balm had served his purposes very well.