Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Kinky Kristmas Fic: Black Queen, Dark Pawn (Bellatrix/Severus) 
3rd December 2011 12:00
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]akatnamedeaster
From: [info]pale_moonlight

Title: Black Queen, Dark Pawn
Characters/Pairings: Bellatrix Black/Severus Snape, past Bellatrix/Narcissa.
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Naive virgin!Snape, first time, dub-con.
Other Warnings/Content: Magical dildo play. Mentions of dark experiments of a sexual nature, incest, and violence against a child.
Word Count: 4,274
Summary/Description: Bellatrix Black is governed by the desire to break the chains of boredom and understand what life is about.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful beta, who had it back to me in no time at all despite the fact that she was very busy that weekend and isn't partial to the characters and kinks. ♥




Bellatrix Black was a woman of principle. She belonged to Her Lord, body and soul. He alone was allowed to fill her, and He alone would be the father of her possible future children. Although she doubted that becoming a mother was what fate held in store for her. She was by far too talented to waste her life in the nursery, supervising feeble-minded elves and perfecting household charms all day long. Besides, Her Lord had other means than breeding to face the challenge of eternity. And if Bellatrix only proved worthy, He might be persuaded to share His secret one day.

The fact that she was engaged to Rodolphus Lestrange had long ceased to matter in her life's equations. Should they ever marry it would mean nothing but a gesture of respect to their fathers, who had signed the marriage contract with their blood all those years ago. Rodolphus was just as disinclined to claim rights to her body as Bellatrix was to grant them. She had seen him and Rabastan practice with their chains and whips, and she had learned an important lesson that day. Sex, like everything else, was a power game.

Bellatrix Black was born and bred a winner, and she had perfected the rules of the game to fit her needs. She practiced it by more subtle means than rattling chains and cracking whips, and nothing she did would compromise her body or endanger her good name. No one who saw her would suspect the young woman to be anything than a proper society lady.

Bella bit the insides of her cheeks so as not to laugh out loud. People were morons, with only a few exceptions. It amused her that, with its squares of black and white marble, the Malfoy Manor ballroom floor resembled a chessboard: pieces in a game, with their moves restricted – what a fitting image for the guests of the Yule Ball tonight.

Rabastan and Rodolphus, for example. Stiff and formal in their pompous dress robes and hideous neck ruffles, they looked exactly like a pair of black rooks. To avoid giving the impression that they were more intimate than brothers should be, they stood at opposite ends of the dance floor, yet couldn't help keeping their eyes fixed on one another.

And Narcissa and Lucius, king and queen in silver and white. Poor Cissy, Bella thought; her beauty was bound to fade with maternity. But she didn't want to think about the consequences of her sister's recent nuptials and what she was already hiding under the voluminous layers of her skirts.

Evan Rosier distracted her, weaving his way through the dancers with a knight's awkward moves while balancing two glasses of red wine. He offered her one, and she decided to be generous and accept it. His face lit up. He pointed eagerly at the mistletoe that had followed him all the way from the buffet.

Bella sighed. She'd never liked puppies, and little Rosier was too sweet for her taste. She sent him away with a playful slap of her fan and a brilliant smile the memory of which he'd doubtlessly use as material for many wanks to come. When he'd finally taken the hint and left, his shoulders now drooping, she shrugged at his retreating back. If he'd been a Muggle in one of the bars she frequently visited she might have picked him up to see how long his eagerness would last, but his social standing forbade that, of course.

The mistletoe was still hovering close. Bella eyed it with distaste. The obligation to kiss under the dratted thing really was a rather vulgar custom, more suitable for one of Dumbledore's boisterous affairs than for a refined pureblood party. Typical for the Malfoys to try to cater to everyone's taste. At the end of the day, they were nothing but a bunch of cheap opportunists. Poor Cissy!

Bella snapped her fan shut and, using it like a Beater's bat, hit the offending plant as if it were a rogue Bludger. The mistletoe smashed against the wall and dropped to the floor, its magic broken. A few white berries rolled at her feet.

"Watch where you're aiming," an unexpected voice interrupted her private little amusement. "These things can kill gods."

"How fortunate, then, that there are presently only mere mortals around," Bella retorted, careful not to show any sign of surprise.

The speaker emerged from the shadows. It turned out to be that ugly schoolmaster, Snape. Just like him to cite an obscure piece of Norse mythology. She really had to wonder about the Malfoys. To cultivate vulgar customs was one thing – at least they were justified by ancient tradition. But to invite a half-blood upstart like Snape – that was quite another affair.

Bella regarded him curiously. His dress robes had seen better days – presumably sometime around the end of the last century. All those ridiculous buttons, and the high collar that was so tight around his Adam's apple that she marveled at his ability to breathe. His greasy locks didn't improve things, either, concealing most of his face but failing to hide the enormous vulture beak. Yet his worst feature was without doubt his posture. Gaunt and too tall, he stood hunched with his head withdrawn into his bony shoulders. A lamp post, Bella thought, a black-clad lamp post, and the idea amused her to no end. Laughter bubbled up inside her, threatening to break to the surface. And because Snape was a no one, a complete nonentity, she behaved as if she was alone. She threw her head back and let it all out. Wave after wave of glorious laughter.

It was over as soon as it had begun. She wiped the tears from her face and composed herself. In an effort to restrain herself from another outburst of hilarity, she avoided to look at the sad figure in front of her. Her eyes fell upon the remains of the mistletoe on the floor. She picked up one of the pearly white berries. "I much prefer Celtic folklore," she remarked offhandedly. "It's no wonder the druids considered mistletoe a representation of divine male essence – these berries do look a lot like semen, don't they?"

She expected a sarcastic reply or at least an attempt at acerbic wit. When Snape remained uncharacteristically silent, Bella finally met his eyes. And was jolted out of her composure altogether.

Snape's face had turned beet red. His posture had become, if that was even possible, still tenser.

While Bellatrix Black had carefully cultivated her image as an enigmatic personality, a witch of many faces, she was well aware of the fact that deep down, she was a very simple woman. Her sole motivator was greed. Greed for life. An unlimited desire to break the chains of boredom and understand what life was about. Dissect it, and devour it.

Snape's reaction to her casual remark told her nothing she couldn't have guessed already. It was only to be expected that a young man of his looks and social standing would be sexually inexperienced. With his small teacher's salary he probably couldn't even afford visiting Knockturn's more reasonably priced establishments.

No, it wasn't his inexperience in sexual matters that sent a shiver down Bella's spine and made her skin prickle. It was the intensity of his emotion. She sensed more than simple embarrassment. Snape's unease was so profound that she needed to find out more about it.

She cast Imperio with a quick movement of her wand that was hidden inside one of her long, fingerless dress gloves. His head shot up and he looked at her in astonishment. For a moment she thought the spell hadn't worked, but then his eyes clouded over and he followed her without any ado through a small door behind a curtain, his movements edgy like that of a trapped spider.

Bella was glad now that they'd explored the manor the night before the wedding, Cissy and she, playing hide and seek in the secret passageways, Bella desperately wishing she could Apparate them far away to another secret place where no Malfoy would ever be granted access. She remembered all the traps and shortcuts and guided Snape to her room unseen. There she deposited him on the bed and subjected him to a body bind that spared his neck and head, leaving him the ability to speak. Then she lifted the Imperius curse.

"And what are you planning to do with me now?" he asked, his voice calm and controlled.

Disappointed that all the fascinating embarrassment was gone, Bella asked herself exactly the same question. What the hell had she been thinking?

"Surely you are aware that I will be missed. The Dark Lord himself has ordered Lucius to invite me tonight." There was triumph in his voice as he referred to Her Lord, and Bella hissed.

"Don't worry," she mocked. "You'll leave this room mostly intact."

"Mostly?" His eyebrow rose to the hairline. "You're referring to my memory, I suppose?"

Bella sniggered. This was going to be fun after all. "That I'll have to Obliviate you afterwards goes without saying. No, that's not what I meant." She knelt on the bed and leaned closer to his face. "What you're going to lose tonight …" she whispered into his ear, "… is your virginity."

He didn't answer, but Bella could feel the sharp intake of breath.

"You are a virgin, aren't you?" she asked in her sweetest voice. "Or am I mistaken? Has someone beaten me to the punch?"

Snape only glared at her.

"Don't worry, baby bear" she cooed. "Mummy won't hurt you." She slashed her wand through the air and laughed. "Much."

Four strong ropes coiled into existence, landed on the sheets with a soft thud, and slithered around Snape's wrists and ankles, securing him to the bed posts. Another slash of her wand lifted the body bind.

Snape still only glared. He lay perfectly still, his hands balled into angry fists and his whole body taut in silent protest.

I'll get a reaction out of you yet! Bella promised herself as she turned away to slip out of her dress robes. She wore a corset underneath, as she usually did. With every intake of breath, the tight lacing reminded her that she was alive, free, and powerful. The one she wore today was made of crimson velvet that matched the color of her lips, toe and fingernails. It left her breasts exposed, and she didn't wear any other underwear. Sucking her fingers into her mouth one after the other, she pondered whether she should paint her nipples red, too, but decided against it. Too much effort for a nobody like Snape, she thought as they hardened between her wet fingertips.

She sat at the vanity and took her time to roll down her stockings, enjoying the feeling of silk on bare skin, of shedding yet another layer of her proper society persona. As she crossed her naked legs, she was aroused. In the mirror she could see Snape on the bed, looking at her with his head turned at an impossible angle. She took her gloves off last. Her wand, exposed now in its emerald studded arm holster, she would still need.

Snape's glare had long ceased to impress. If he wanted to play this game under the false pretense that he didn't desire her, who was Bella to spoil his fun. Forcing him to admit, one way or the other, just how desperately he wanted her would be an additional challenge.

First, the hideous dress robes would have to go. Her wand already raised to blast the buttons off, she thought the better of it. Some things were best savored unhurriedly. She opened the topmost button and freed Snape's Adam's apple.

With every button, Bella revealed more sallow skin. Snape was emaciated, the ribs protruding sharply. The sparse chest hair couldn't hide the many scars, and Bella wondered how he had come by them.

Vaguely she remembered a wretched first year in her last year as a prefect. Impossibly small in his overlarge coat. With him a Muggle with a matching nose, slamming the boy's head against virtually every stone of King's Cross station, laughing at the boy's misery every time a wall didn't yield. – "Told you so!" – The Muggle's open-mouthed stare as the boy finally disappeared through the wall between platform nine and ten. A witch, sallow-faced and sour-looking, cracking into existence behind a waste container and hurrying after the boy. But only after giving a two-fingered salute to the Muggle. – "Told you so!"

Hand in hand, Bella and Cissy had walked past the fool, their heads high and the air ringing with their derision. On the other side of the barrier Snape, sprawled on the ground. Bruises on his forehead that the witch unsuccessfully tried to heal with a battered wand. His glare had been exactly the same.

"You're most definitely the ugliest man I've ever seen," Bella stated, following one of his scars with a blood-red nail.

Snape burst into hysterical laughter, the sudden movement of his body making the bed creak. "If you really think so, why don't you stop raping me?"

Bella brought her wand down forcefully, and the rest of the buttons scattered in all directions. "Doesn't look like rape to me," she commented on the state of his cock.

In stark contrast to the rest of his body, Snape's cock was thick and red and unquestionably interested. The slit was adorned with a pearly droplet, and when Bella's fingernail scratched along the big blue vein on the underside, Snape let out a strangled groan. A long string of semen shot across his stomach.

Bella sniggered. "Eager, are we?"

"This means nothing!" Snape's voice was filled with loathing. His eyes were squeezed shut. Two tracks of moisture were running down his cheeks, but Bella couldn't determine whether it was sweat or tears.

"Of course not," she mocked, patting his bony pelvis. "Don't worry. You'll soon be ready for a repeat performance."

It was time to do this properly. Bella Accio'd Snape's wand and his robes and carelessly discarded both on the vanity chair. Then she Summoned a cushion to put under Snape's arse and adjusted the ropes so that his legs were pulled up and open. A quick touch of her wand to his opening lubed him up nicely. Now that Snape was prepared, Bella concentrated on a spell of her own invention.

Virilis didn't merely create a magical dildo that was connected with and tuned in to a witch's clitoris. It was much more than that. The spell was a modification of Legilimens and so dark that the thought of it alone sent delightful shivers down Bella's spine. Virilis penetrated the body, filled every crevice, and finally entered the recipient's blood stream and nerve cells. It established a strong connection between caster and recipient, enabling a witch to "read" the body of her sexual partner, extracting emotions and sometimes even memories.

Bella had yet to perfect the spell. She had tested it on a succession of Muggles, with mixed results. While it simply hadn't worked with most of them, a few had gone mad under the spell. Bella had sensed their breaking apart and the inner chaos that followed. Her orgasms had been intense, glorious fireworks of destruction. But it wasn't enough. Bella needed to know everything. She needed to get inside people and sense what made them tick. Their worst fears and deepest desires. To achieve her goal she had to learn how to control herself and the spell.

Self-control wasn't Bella's forte. That was the main reason why she didn't practice Legilimency. She knew herself too well to assume that she'd ever be able to Occlude her mind adequately to ward off a counter attack. Virilis wasn't dangerous in that regard. There was no way for the recipient to repel it. And with time and much practice, Bella was now able to avoid madness – if she was so inclined – and read her sexual partners to a certain extend. Yet it was never enough.

She spread her legs and massaged her clit until it was sufficiently enlarged. Then she applied Virilis with a soft touch of her wand. It sent a jolt through her entire body, electrified her in a way nothing else could. She brimmed with desire, and the silvery organ that now jutted out between her legs pulled her to the bed where Snape was waiting.

Snape watched her through slitted eyes. His face was completely unreadable. Bella could hardly wait to find out what he was thinking. "Ready?" she asked in a husky voice.

"This would be a more pleasurable first experience if I could move my arms and legs," Snape answered slowly.

"I doubt that –" Bella started, but then she gave it another thought. Naked and without his wand, Snape was completely harmless. With her wand in the arm holster she could easily control him. And if he was willing it might be less of a problem for Virilis to read him. The thought made her giddy with lust, and her artificial cock swelled even further. She slashed her wand, and the ropes that bound Snape evaporated.

He rubbed his wrists but otherwise didn't move. Bella showed him how to position his legs and spread more lube across his pucker. Foggy tendrils emanated from her cock, and Bella couldn't wait any longer. She pushed inside.

Snape surrounded her like a well-fitting glove. She could sense his fear, and a stubborn determination not to lose control. She could also sense desire.

"Does it feel good?" she asked, stroking his cock in rhythm with her thrusts. The answer was obvious. His cock filled in her hand and soon was fully erect again. She sensed his moans rather than heard them.

Bella intensified her thrusts. She could sense something else now, a strong feeling hidden behind a barrier of despair. Bella's orgasm was close now, so very close, but she willed it away and pushed deeper. An audible moan escaped Snape's lips, and he stretched out his hands to touch her breasts.

Virilis scratched at the barrier now. When Bella closed her eyes, an image of Snape's Muggle father appeared, fastening his belt. The naked boy at his feet was bleeding from several wounds on his back. "Do you understand now? Whatever your mother tells you, you're nothing special. Nothing at all!"

The scene changed. Memory Snape was at least fifteen or sixteen years old now. His face was distorted with hatred, and he looked uglier than ever as he raised his wand against his father, who was busy unbuckling his belt. "Never again, you stinking bastard," Snape spat. "You better run! Like the filthy coward you are."

But the Muggle only laughed. With his belt, he knocked the wand out of the hand of his unresisting son. Snape crouched down in the corner, covering his face with his arms. The Muggle stepped up to him. "Who's a coward now?"

Sharp pain interrupted Bella. Snape had pinched her nipple too hard. A crimson droplet adorned the potion-stained nail of his thumb. Snape didn't react as she freed her breast and took his hand in hers. He had his eyes closed. Bella now knew that it was tears in the corners. But his moans were moans of lust, and his cock was leaking. Bella caught a pearl with her fingertip. The bitter taste was intoxicating.

Bella's thrusts were erratic now, and she was panting heavily. Still she pushed deeper.

"Filthy little Mudblood," Snape called a red-headed student at the lake shore. Bella couldn't remember her, but she certainly approved. But why was this memory clouded by so much pain? The scene reformed. Snape was apologizing to the Mudblood over and over again. When Virilis entered Snape's visual cortex, Bella could see what he saw behind his closed lids. His fantasy.

The Mudblood looked up at him, stars in her green green eyes. She smiled as he reverently touched her breasts. "Of course I want you to, Sev. I've wanted you for a very long time now." Her words were like a benediction to Snape, and all his sins were absolved in her smile. His self-imposed celibacy, the tireless struggle to stay pure in her name was finally crowned with success. When he entered her, he did it with so much awe as if he were about to defile the Madonna. He nearly spilled himself before he managed. But then it was bliss. Utter bliss ...

"Fuck!" Bella screamed as orgasm hit her. "You're madly in love with a Mudblood."

"Nooooo!" Snape squeezed her hand like a vice as he came in shuddering jerks.

Virilis vanished into thin air as soon as it had completed its job. And what unexpected insights it had revealed. Bella stretched out like a cat in the sunlight, enjoying the afterglow and wondering what she would do with the exciting new information she had gained. Blackmail might be the best option, but it could be even more rewarding to disgrace Snape in the eyes of Her Lord and get rid of him once and for all. That way, Lucius might be taken down a notch or two, too, for introducing the unsavory upstart in the first place. And if Bella was lucky, Cissy would reconsider her choice. It was still time to dispose of the spawn. Or they could bring it up together. To think of the great things –

"What did you just do?"

Snape's voice yanked Bella from her pleasant thoughts. "What do you think?" she answered, deciding that a touch of vulgarity should silence his complaints before she was ready to get up, dress, and Obliviate him. "I gave you a proper fucking, ducky."

Snape only stared. Bella had never before noticed just how cold and empty his eyes were. Endless tunnels where you could get lost in the dark. Bella remembered how Cissy had been afraid of the dark. She had sneaked into Bella's bed every night, and Bella had comforted her until she fell asleep. Bella hadn't been used to sleeping alone until the day of Cissy's wedding. They had been up to all kind of mischief –

"Has it been a satisfying experience?" Snape asked. "I can imagine you must feel hollow. Magically generated orgasms are reported to cause a feeling of sadness and loss."

Hollow? What the hell was the idiot rattling on about? Bella remembered her first orgasm, how good Cissy's fingers had felt. Cissy and she had improved their technique over the years. "Anything goes that doesn't tear the hymen," had been their motto. Cissy's tongue –

"Maybe I can help you." Snape's voice invaded her daydream, but it was so smooth and silky now that Bella didn't mind. "Allow me to pleasure you with my fingers. My tongue."

Bella closed her eyes as Snape started to caress her breasts. His fingers were just as awkward as Cissy's had been that first time, but he made up for it as he sucked a sensitive nipple into his hot mouth. Bella quivered with anticipation as he kissed and licked his way downwards. There was a sound similar to that of a chair toppling over, but Bella only spread her legs wide to give that marvelous tongue access to her clit.

When her wand slipped from the holster, it was too late. Bella jumped up in an effort to catch it, but was stopped short by the tip of Snape's wand pressing against her throat.

"Never fuck with a Legilimens," he hissed. "Ducky."

Bella didn't dare to wipe the spittle from her chin. Snape's face was distorted with hatred, and he had a mad gleam in his eyes. His expression matched the one he had worn as he threatened his father. But somehow Bella knew that he wouldn't back down this time. Slowly, she raised her hands.

~

"Obliviate!"

~

A few white berries were scattered at Bella's feet. Someone must have busted one of the mistletoe plants that were floating around everywhere and making a nuisance of themselves. Kudos to whoever it was. She picked up one of the pearls and rolled it around in her palm. What had she just been thinking?

"Don't they look a lot like semen?" a smooth voice from the shadows interrupted her thoughts.

Annoyed, Bella swiveled her head to face the speaker. It turned out to be that ugly schoolmaster, Snape. How dare he talk to her like that? A nobody like him. Wondering why the half-blood upstart had been invited in the first place, Bella remembered her thoughts on the guests. Chess pieces. A fitting image indeed. That Snape was a pawn if she'd ever seen one.

"Do you know what will happen should a pawn make it all the way through the enemy lines?"

Too perplexed to answer, Bella flicked her fan open and close. Could that idiot just have read her mind?

"A pawn stealthy and clever enough to reach the other end of the board unharmed will be transformed into a queen, the most powerful piece in the game."

This was a threat barely veiled, and Bella's wand hand itched to teach the bastard a lesson. But when a house-elf announced the arrival of the Malfoys' guest of honor, she decided to postpone contemplating Snape's strange behavior and his uncanny smile. Gathering the voluminous skirts of her robes, she turned away and descended the stairs to the entrance hall to meet Her Lord.
Comments 
3rd December 2011 20:08
Ooooh yes, don't cross Snapey or you'll regret it. Nicely creepy.
9th January 2012 07:59
Thank you!
3rd December 2011 21:07
Oh, NICE. I was with you for the first 3/4 of it, just because hey, who doesn't love a good crazy!Bella pegging story? But that final bit just elevated it to a completely different level of awesome! I much prefer a Snape who can take care of himself to a wibbly one, and so I did a little cheer at the twist this took. :D Love Bella's spell, too, and especially your hints in describing it that she didn't yet know how to control it. *cackle* BAMF!Snape, hell yes. ♥
9th January 2012 08:02
I can't imagine a Snape who doesn't fight back, tbh. ;)

Thank you for your lovely comment and rec!
4th December 2011 01:25
EEEEE, YOU GO, SNAPE! Awesome twist. :D

You wrote a great Bellatrix, a great Snape, and this was a great fic. I loved all the characterisation and the canon details you put into it. :)
9th January 2012 08:03
Thank you so much! Also for your lovely rec!
4th December 2011 03:52
"Never fuck with a Legilimens," he hissed. "Ducky."

Hahaha! Beautifully weird and creepy!
9th January 2012 08:03
Thank you!
4th December 2011 12:24
OH wow. Just breath-taking. Wonderful wonderful portrayal of them both.
9th January 2012 08:04
Thank you so much!
4th December 2011 13:42
That was wonderful! I loved your chess metaphors and your portrayal of Bella. It was so well thought out and real, the way she would view the world, the way she would underestimate Snape!

(Also–pegging + Snape = ❤ !)
9th January 2012 08:06
Thank you! I had great fun with Bella, and I'm afraid my Snape will always be more of a bottom, even with women. ;)
9th January 2012 09:24
my Snape will always be more of a bottom.

You're a woman after my ♡ ;)
4th December 2011 15:28
Oh, trust Bella to use lovely dark sex magic - and on Snape, of all people! This is really beautifully written - and the twist at the end is spectacular.

I don't think I'll ever see Bella and Snape in the same light again.
9th January 2012 08:07
Thank you so much!
4th December 2011 19:51
*cheers for Snape*

Wonderful twist!
9th January 2012 08:07
Thank you!
5th December 2011 04:33
This: "Do you know what will happen should a pawn make it all the way through the enemy lines?"

Too perplexed to answer, Bella flicked her fan open and close. Could that idiot just have read her mind?

"A pawn stealthy and clever enough to reach the other end of the board unharmed will be transformed into a queen, the most powerful piece in the game."


is completely made of win! I loved the way you turned the tables on Bella (who truly deserves if anyone ever did) and the slick, elegant way Snape screws with her mind in the end. That's Severus to a T.

The characterization of Bellatrix is spot on too, such a manipulative bitch with no compunction whatsoever. Just the way she should be. :)

Thank you for the wonderfully well written story Mystery Author!
9th January 2012 08:08
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
5th December 2011 10:30
Brilliantly twisted. Never underestimate a half-blood Slytherin, Bella!
9th January 2012 08:08
Thank you!
6th December 2011 04:07
I rarely read Marauder's era fic, and I don't usually love Snape fic. But your characters were wonderful, and so perfect, and so utterly Bellatrix and Snape, that you just sucked me in before I quite noticed. This was fabulous.
9th January 2012 08:09
Thank you for giving it a try! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
6th December 2011 16:33
Anonymous
Wow, I really like this.
9th January 2012 08:10
Thank you!
6th December 2011 21:14
This is fantastic! Bellatrix's POV is so well done, and the glimpse you give us of her psyche and how she sees her family and everything around her is fascinating and insightful. Just the right balance between twistedness that runs in the family/surroundings and personal cruelty (nature and nurture, as it were). I especially liked the scene in which you describe how laughter bubbles up inside her -- an intelligent counterpoint to the raving, hysterical maniac we see in the movies.

The chess metaphor works perfectly throughout, and the twist at the end is just right. And I'm just as impressed by your Severus. He's young and inexperienced, yet intelligent and, in the end, able to fend for himself -- as he would be, forever the pawn in other people's games and yet somehow managing to make it through the enemy lines.

Great fic!
9th January 2012 08:32
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and for all your support! I can't tell you how thrilled I was to hear that you enjoyed the story, having been terribly nervous to ask you to beta something outside of what you usually enjoy reading in the first place. :)
11th December 2011 14:53
Mystery Author, this? Is totally brilliant. The magical dildo and its use that's invasive and penetrating and humiliating in more ways than one is creative genius.

Your characterizations are fantastic. Bellatrix is wonderfully complex, sadistic, and perceptive with more than a hint of madness. And Snape...! You've written him perfectly for that time period. He's somewhere in between the impetuous, wearing-his-heart-on-his-sleeve teenager he was and the cold, controlled adult he's yet to become.

Oh, and love the premature ejaculation bit. 'Cause, well, it's sort of a bizarre personal kink of mine, but also, yes, totally inexperienced Snape? That would so happen to him. LOL

But the best part about this... of course, the ending! Abjlvayfauh! Snape turning the tables on Bella, getting her secrets instead, rattling her...

"Never fuck with a Legilimens," he hissed. "Ducky."

That is where I was cheering and woke up the dog. XD "BAMF" is not a term I ever thought I'd use for Snape, but he totally is here. LMAO
And then the queen/pawn metaphor reversing, changing the meaning of the title, Snape becoming the black queen and Bella the pawn that they'll be when all is said and done... Awesome.
9th January 2012 08:41
Thank you! I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed the story, especially that the chess metaphor worked for you! I had so much fun writing this. Only sorry for waking your dog. *sends virtual pats* ;)
12th December 2011 03:28
Holy hell! I knew Snape was going to gain control in the end but that completely freaked me out. He is the Queen.
9th January 2012 08:42
Thank you!
18th December 2011 04:31
Excellent twist of an ending, inventive magic, and strong characterizations -- well done.
9th January 2012 08:42
Thank you!
18th December 2011 19:26
Oh, this was brilliant. Dark and creepy and an absolutely perfect twist at the end. Your Bella was so unrepentant, so - detached? - from what she was doing... it made me think of those true-crime shows where they interview serial killers. You captured her voice really well.

I adore Snape, and watching him get a bit of his own back, there at the end, was great.

Well done!
9th January 2012 08:43
Thank you for your lovely comment. Glad you enjoyed it!
27th December 2011 06:34
Wicked! Loved the twist!
9th January 2012 08:43
Thank you!
2nd January 2012 19:51
Wow. This was brilliant. Loved the twist. Loved Snape in this.
9th January 2012 08:43
Thank you so much!
5th January 2012 01:02
way to go, Severus. so glad he got the upper hand, as well as a thorough deflowering!
9th January 2012 08:44
Thank you! :)
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