WHO: Greta Catchlove and Jacob Sloper WHEN: Monday, 15 February WHERE: The Critters' offices at the Ministry SUMMARY: Love is in the air... RATING: Just some mild language, otherwise tame!
Greta, ever the people pleaser, had agreed to run a paper file over to the Critters for one of the other admins. She’d had a lot on her mind lately, and she was happy to have the busy work, quite frankly. Keeping her legs moving seemed to help keep her mind from going into overdrive.
She walked up to the fourth floor, and was headed towards one of the Admins’ desks when she felt a sharp prick on her...well, on her behind. She jumped and turned at the same time, and her eyes landed on....Jacob Sloper.
She’d seen him before, but had she ever really noticed him? His broad shoulders, his impressive height, his widow’s peak. How had she never noticed his widow’s peak before? She had never seen one so perfect. As if drawn like a moth to a flame, Greta walked towards him, staring somewhat stupidly at him for a few seconds before managing to say, “Hi.”
Even though his promotion had come with its own private office, Jacob still liked to mill around the Critters' desks every so often to keep an eye on what everyone was up to. A few well-placed glares tended to help productivity along in his opinion, too.
So he was looking over a stack of paperwork, checking in on cases in progress and magical beings that were overdue a check-in, when Greta approached him, sparing the girl just the briefest of glances and a gruff, "Hi."
A few moments later he glanced up from his papers again, seeming surprised to still find her there, "Something I can help you with?"
Greta looked down at the folder full of papers in her hands. What was she thinking, bringing him such a meager offering? An idea came to her suddenly, and she dropped the folder, papers flying everywhere as she rushed out of the Critters’ department.
Looking down first at the scattered papers as they fluttered to the ground and then to Greta's rapidly retreating form, Jacob took a moment and then, "Riiiiiiight…" He honestly wished he could say this was the weirdest thing he saw in the Critters' office. Hell, it wasn't even the weirdest thing he'd seen that month.
"Can someone clean this up?"
Greta reappeared a few minutes later, a large box of candy in hand. Her hair was flying every which way, like she had been hurrying. She looked at the spot where Jacob had been, but he was now gone.
Greta frowned and looked around, spotting him in an office. She brightened again and practically bounced over towards him. “Hi,” she said again, her smile looking slightly dazed. She looked at him as if expecting further response.
Jacob glanced up from his desk, blinked, and immediately looked wary. "Hi," he said, his tone slow and deliberate, as though he was worried about provoking the strange girl who had bounded her way into his office.
"You're not going to throw those on the floor too, are you?" He asked, nodding towards the candies. "Because Greengrass is already bitching about having to pick up the papers you left."
“Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Greta said, slightly out of breath. She held out the large box of candy. The lid had a strange pattern on it, as if it was put together like a patchwork quilt. She’d brought in small boxes of candy for everyone in the DMLE, and was going to distribute them after lunch. But then she’d spotted Jacob, and she knew that he deserved all the candy. So she’d transfigured all the small boxes into one big box.
“This is for you,” she said, still holding out the box. “I made them all. For you.” That was a lie, or half of one. She had made them herself, but Jacob had been far from her mind at the time.
"Riiiiiiiight." His careful, cautious tone faltered a little and he wondered just how quickly the others would rush to his side if he started shouting. Or if they'd think he'd just run afoul of Hooter again and ignore it. He really needed to cut down on his shouting.
"Why, exactly?"
Greta looked confused. Wasn’t it obvious? “Because you deserve them,” she said, her eyes blinking a few times, as if in a slight daze. “Try one,” she urged. “They’re really good, I promise.” She looked hopefully at him, her expression somehow mirroring that of a very needy puppy.
"That's -" He took a moment to consider the best choice, "nice. But we actually had a case of poisoned candies a few weeks back. We can't take any chances with our Department right now."
Normally Jacob would have brute-forced his way through the situation, bellowing for Greta to get out of his office and leave him be, but something seemed… off about the whole thing, and he didn't want to take any chances in case it turned out to be some kind of Dark Army attack.
"So you should probably just eat them yourself."
Greta’s face fell. “But I made them myself,” she repeated. “They’re not poisoned, I promise. Those last ones weren’t even from me - Asher was just confused. I barely even knew him until a few weeks ago.” She looked forlornly down at the box of chocolates. He wasn’t rejecting the chocolates, he was rejecting her. She felt her eyes start to fill up with tears.
“I can eat one to prove they’re not poisoned,” she said. “You can pick one at random, just to be sure.”
"I'm on a diet, so…" Jacob replied weakly. Then he spotted the tears welling in her eyes, raw emotion definitely wasn't something that he had the strength to deal with today. "Right." Shouting it was.
Looking over Greta's shoulder, he called out into the rest of the Department, "Guys! My office is private for a reason! You're supposed to stop people from just marching in!"
Greta burst into tears in earnest, dropping the box of candy (oops...exactly what he’d predicted she would do) and sitting down in the empty chair across from the desk. “I’m sorry,” she said, her hands gesticulating as she spoke. “I just thought it would make you happy, I didn’t know you were on a diet. You don’t need to be on a diet.” She looked up and her expression cleared for a brief moment into something like happiness. “You’re very fit,” she said, her voice ringing with sincerity and earnestness.
Watching the girl break down in front of him, Jacob had to wonder just what he'd done to deserve this. And then it hit him. Cupids. Fucking Cupids…
Realising he needed to remove himself from the equation quickly, Jacob pushed himself up from his desk, nodding briefly at Greta, "Right. That's very nice of you to say. Just… just wait there, alright?"
That said, he stepped quickly out of his office and made a beeline for the elevator, calling over his shoulder to the other Critters as he went, "Crazy Girl! Cupids! My Office! Deal with it!"