diana selwyn, fair & balanced (artamos) wrote in cultureic, @ 2015-12-13 21:30:00 |
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The typical THE SELWYN DISPATCH titles play before revealing Cassiopeia Mountebank, one of the programme's regular investigative reporters, sitting behind Diana Selwyn's desk. CM: Good evening, and welcome to The Selwyn Dispatch for a Sunday Special Report. A bit of a change of pace today, as I'm honoured to man the big desk while Diana Selwyn herself goes live on the scene at the Magical Culture Centre bonfire. Diana?Cut to Selwyn in a crisp black suit, with a bubble-head charm floating around her face to protect her from the smoke. Behind her, a towering inferno rages. Beside her, Bellatrix Lestrange, also in a bubble-head charm, looks very pleased with herself. DS: Thank you, Cassiopeia! I'm here with Bellatrix Lestrange, Chair of the Board of Directors at the Magical Culture Centre and Wizarding Family Council.A chyron beneath Bellatrix reads: BELLATRIX LESTRANGE PHILANTHROPIST DS: Madam Lestrange, what would you like to tell the world about tonight's demonstration?Selwyn leaves Bellatrix to tend to the various proceedings, as meanwhile the counter-protestors begin to get more active. Benjy Fenwick, unidentified by the chyron as he enters suddenly, walks past her flipping the bird. "You're fit, but crazy as a box of cats!" he shouts, marching out of frame again as quickly as he appeared. DS: [smiling brightly] As you can see, Cassiopeia, there's a tense atmosphere down here. Let's speak with one of the demonstrators who's come to show her support for the Magical Culture Centre, Ms. Florence Abercrombie.Florence is dressed in 1960s garb, done up as Muggle anti-homosexuality provocateur Anita Bryant. She is holding a collection of vinyl Beatles records. A chyron beneath her reads: FLORENCE ABERCROMBIE DOMINATRIX, ACTIVIST DS: Hello, Ms. Abercrombie. What have you brought to the bonfire?" Later in the evening, as violence has erupted across Tinworth town square, Selwyn ambles through the crowd trying to find people to talk to. The camera settles on a masked Lennox Madley, who is identified only by the chyron UNIDENTIFIED TERRORIST, as she screams "You can't burn progress!" and "Tear down the Statute of Secrecy!" DS: Sickening, Cassiopeia, to see these thugs appropriating a lawful, peaceful political gathering to foment violent revolution. But then, this is their way.Selwyn directs the camera to where Bellatrix is engaged in a vicious argument with Cedrella Weasley and Emmeline Vance. A chyron beneath Emmeline reads: EMMELINE VANCE JANITRESS, DAUGHTER OF MUGGLES EV: The only people ruining society are Death Eaters like you!Selwyn just shakes her head, sadly. The melee has drawn to a close, and Bellatrix Lestrange has been arrested. Selwyn's bubble-head charm has burst, but she still smiles that patented news presenter smile as though there aren't broken noses and black eyes all around her. She stands with Rodolphus Lestrange, and beneath him is a chyron reading: RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE CELEBRATED BUSINESSMAN DS: Mr. Lestrange, do you have anything to tell the viewing public about this disgraceful turn of events? Cassiopeia Mountebank closes the show with a promise that the story will continue to unfold over the course of the next week, once Ms. Selwyn is back at the big desk as is proper. She wishes all a good night and solace to those injured by pro-Muggle agitators at tonight's bonfire. |