rey (galpatine) wrote in crownplazaic, @ 2021-06-05 10:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, finn, rey |
Who: Finn & Rey
What: So you found out you're a Palpatine.
When: 05/05 [backdate]
Where: Woods
Status: Complete.
Warnings: None.
Rey had slept in the woods that night, and when she woke up in her bed that morning went back outside to find a high place to roost. She needed to talk it out. She knew she needed to communicate with the others, but she wasn't just angry, she was distressed and hurt. The grip of fear of the evil heritage that coursed through her veins was strong. She would have latched on to the fact that she'd overcome that evil, but that evil was also the last of her family. It was still pretty early and she didn't have to report to Master Luke for her lessons just yet, which was good. She didn't know how to even start to explain her situation or ask for help. Her thoughts were dark and the feeling of betrayal that was twisting her heart made her feel even angrier. She was taking deep breaths, attempting to meditate, clear her mind, sort out her thoughts and feelings before seeing him. He killed Darth Vader, or so the legends said. And she killed Palpatine. Or would kill Palpatine. But he hadn't started off evil, had he? There was so much she didn't know. He was her grandfather. "I'm a Palpatine," she murmured to herself as her fingers gripped at tree branch she perched on, she let the feeling roll through her again, before taking a deep breath and reaching out around her to try and connect with the island...only to be disrupted by the feeling of another Jedi approaching. --- There would never be a moment where Finn could not find his friends- if they were still at the hotel. His mind reached out through the Force so naturally for them, preferring their feelings to those of would-be enemies. It was a kind of comfort no matter what mood they were in. To let her have her space was one plan, but the ex-Stormtrooper could not help himself. Whatever she was going through, the things he felt rolling from the trees above, he wanted to help. He was not there to tell her to not feel her feelings but to have someone by her side that would listen and be there. No one should be alone with so much to go through. Hands tucked in his pockets, he stopped at the base of her tree and looked up. “Mind if I join you?” He offered, readying himself to climb. --- Rey had a feeling he wouldn't fully leave, even if she had requested it. Or at least, he wouldn't stray too far. Finn felt deeply about a lot of things and sometimes felt like he cared too much. But did he really? She hadn't known anyone who really cared outside of stories since she'd been left on her planet. Left on her planet by her parents who were murdered by-- The thought made anger flare in her again. The desire to kill a man who should have brought her joy surfaced once more. People were always happy to find family, right? Not in this case. "Yes." She said, crossing her arms and leaning against the trunk. She even brought her legs up to curl up tightly. It wasn't a really good meditative pose, but she was trying to squeeze it out. Why did it bother her so much when he wasn't even here? None of that mattered here at all. It didn't matter. If it didn't matter then why did she care so much? If it didn't matter so much why did Ben feel the need to tell her? --- “Yes you would mind?” He questioned, letting go of the branches but not letting her out of his gaze. Rey was right; if she did not allow him to join her, he would find a spot at the tree roots below. Having decided to come seek her at all meant he would not back down. If she meditated, touched the Force, he would be there. The darkness in her thoughts and hatred for all that was and could have been would not dissuade him from his loyalty to her. “If I climb up anyway, would you punch me or let me spend some time with you?” He offered a sideways smirk. “I guess, we’ll find out-” He murmured to himself as he caught the tree branches again and started climbing. What was it with his best friends and climbing things? All of their childhoods had been extremely different, yet they all worked in harmony because of it- like they were meant to be. --- It had given Finn pause, but she knew it wasn't enough to stop him. She could hear the leaves rustling as he pulled himself up each branch. She knew that Stormtroopers were trained on all terrains. The one race she'd had with Finn and Poe when the jellyfish were there came to mind. Things seemed to make more sense then. They were easier. She was no one and become someone to two people she'd cared about. Now she was someone or at least related to a person with a reputation, and not a good one. "I should punch you," she said as he continued to get closer. He shouldn't be moving closer. He should be going away. What kind of evil coursed through her veins. Sure Luke and Leia were children of Vader, but she'd seen what'd become of Ben. And there was always that murky intent inside of her, just waiting to pull her over to the dark side. Ben had felt it. She wanted to kill him. Pointedly. She wanted to kill Palpatine too, and knew she'd have the chance.... together. With Ben. It was a lot to process and it wasn't helped by the fact that she wanted to tuck herself away from Finn and Poe. They'd both worked to befriend Ben and Armitage, but she hadn't done anything unforgivable yet. How much time did she have before she did? --- "Punch me?" His brows raised in surprise. "You can if that will make you feel better." He smirked at her as he settled into the branch across from her. While trained in all terrains, Poe was still a better climber than him. Finn didn't have that natural childhood of trees their friend did. Wrapping his legs around the thick branch for grip and balance, he laid his head back against the trunk that continued up. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to, but-" he shrugged, leaning his shoulder toward her in offer. "I'm going to be here for you and you can punch me as much as you'd like. I might even pretend I don't like it." He teased. --- Why was he still smiling? He was smiling at her and trying to comfort her. She could easily become a monster, couldn't she? What would it take to push her over that edge. It wasn't even just the betrayal she felt from not only Ben but also Armitage. The guilt on his face was so clear. But it was the fear that she could lose herself or would she become herself that really worried her. Things may have been different here at the hotel, but that didn't change who she was, did it? She turned her back to him and hugged her knees to her chest. She'd picked the tree because no one ever looked up. People could pass by beneath her and she'd remain undisturbed. Unfortunately, Finn was not one of those people. "Why are you smiling?" --- As she turned away from him, his brows furrowed. Settling back into the curve of his branch, he stared off through the greenery. She had the right to be angry with a messed up world beyond the security of the strange hotel. Kylo was an asshole for not telling her sooner and Finn knew that he'd end up taking at him about it. "I smile because you can't," he said softly, sincerely. "You're the only family I have. So wherever you go- mentally, emotionally, physically- I want to be there with you." After a moment of silence, he shifted, straightening his leg out along the branch. "I don't need to be Luke Skywalker to feel everything going on in your mind. You're still you no matter your family history." --- There was another long silence there. She had explained to Poe. He knew what had happened when she'd first gone to see Luke. He knew why she'd run off. He understood her fear and the struggle she went through because she'd told him the first time she'd felt the murderous intent toward Hux. And there was also the feeling of betrayal from him that had made her want to lash out. She was feeling it now, which is why she was pulling inward away from Finn, but he could feel that. And she felt bad he could feel it because none of it was his fault and he deserved better not evil things. "I don't know who me is, Finn," she said finally. "The first time I went to train with Master Luke, he had me reach out to the force and I went straight for the dark side. I don't know if I can trust myself not to do terrible things." Considering what Ben had done before he'd come back to the light... --- Finn let the silence be. His position settled and if she needed silence more than discussion then that was what he would give her; silence and his company. When she finally spoke, he looked over, his head lulling against the tree trunk as he did so. “I can trust you for both of us,” Finn offered. “It’s the Jedi’s religion that made everything dark or light, but what if you, Ben... and, even, I were more than that? Shouldn’t the actual balance be able to live in the grey?” While he had a lot less experience than the other two and nowhere near the lineage- to his knowledge- Finn also looked around at his friends and new friends, and saw a group of passionate flawed people. Every one of them had just as much darkness from their past as they did light in their future. They understood so much more of the world when standing in the middle. “Rey... I was a top Stormtrooper in my batch. Highest marks most kills until my first actual battle. I know you have the heart of a warrior, but the first time you looked at me-” He shrugged. “Well, I told you this already back then- but you never treated me differently because of my past. You saw there was more.” Another pause. “You are so much more. And if you decide to do terrible things to Ben because of this- it is your right and I will help or hold Hux down while you fight.” --- Finn was speaking a great amount of logic and it was hard to argue. He'd been nurtured in that environment to do terrible things, but in the end chose to protect rather than subdue. Every good trait of his had been discouraged, but here he was, in a tree with her, "friends" with Ben and ...something with Hux. She didn't know. They weren't trying to kill each other. She did remember the first time she saw him. She'd attacked him because BB-8 had told her he was wearing Poe's jacket. But after that, there was a lot of running and the bonding experience on the Millenium Falcon. It had been a strong bond and even after he'd confessed, she tried to keep him with her as he made plans to go to the outer rim in an attempt to escape his past. "It's not my past I'm afraid of, Finn." It wasn't nearly the same. "It's my blood. The dark side is strong in me." The mention of fighting Ben or him holding down Hux made her sigh. "I'm not going to beat either of them. I don't want to hurt anyone. That's why I'm up here. Trying to be alone." --- “But your blood is not the whole of you and your nature. You are strong in everything,” he offered with a soft smile. “This just means you’re more balanced.” Swinging his legs over to the side to face her, even though her back was to him. He reached out with the Force trying to allow her to feel how he felt about her and had witnessed with his own eyes before they were some big damn heroes. He did not even fully know the rest of the life they had lived, given the time he was pulled from. “You wouldn’t let me run away.” He shrugged. “I’m not going to let go of you. You aren’t alone. You aren’t some great evil because of a bloodline, just like Ben wasn’t some great good because of his. Or Master Luke wasn’t another Vader. If you were ever pulled to the dark side completely, it wouldn’t be because of Palpatine’s lineage… it would be because you felt it was the right choice.” Finn paused, before adding, “and, I can’t say that I wouldn’t just follow you then too because- honestly- you’re smarter than me so there had to be a good reason.” --- While Finn's words were comforting and she could feel the warmth start to flood her, he'd still feel the tangles of doubt and fear inside of her. She didn't bother to hide how deep it ran. There would be no good reason for her to do anything resembling what Vader or Kylo Ren had done. Palpatine's guiding hand had caused so much damage and his legacy ran through her veins, did it not? Taking in a breath, she didn't push him away or tell him to leave. She just sat there quietly. If he wanted to stay, she would let him stay, but she was done talking for now. There would be no peace before practice today. Luke would feel the turmoil. Would he reject her when she told him? This Luke wasn't afraid of the power like his future counterpart. He'd embraced her and she loved him, just as she loved Han and his sister. That time was coming soon, wasn't it? "Could you..." No. She'd go. She'd have to face him eventually. It was best to do it sooner rather than later. Rey wasn't a fan of running and if he was going to tell her he could not teach her anymore, she wanted it to be now. "I have to go to training," she said falling back out of the tree only to land gracefully on the floor. The invitation to talk more after was on the tip of her tongue, but she bit it back and walked away. |