Castiel (agentbeyonce) wrote in crownplazaic, @ 2021-05-27 02:31:00 |
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He supposed it was better than Cas having been sent home, but he still didn't understand how the other him had managed to fool Castiel. It should have been the least of his concerns, but as he walked through the empty streets of New York, it was the one thing present in his mind. Dean had said he wasn't going to come to the other man's aid, but there was no way in hell he would actually leave him in the hands of that psychotic son of a bitch. He knew exactly what he was dealing with, but he had yet to come up with a strategy on how to best his demonic self. It was definitely a tricky situation, he knew that his other self wouldn't give a shit about much of anything. Anything other than Cas, that was. Having been in his shoes many years ago, Dean felt confident that the other version of himself would never kill Cas, but in regards to torture, he wasn't exactly sure what he would do. The description of where Cas was had been a little vague, and he had already visited three buildings in search of the other, but he wasn't going back to the hotel until Cas was at his side. He strode through the streets of New York heavily armed, though he knew that his alter-ego couldn't be killed. Still, he just needed enough time to wrap his boyfriend's foot and carry him out. He had no idea if the other Dean was keeping a close eye on the place, but if Cas had been messaging him, he knew that he at least wasn't in the same room as the other. Luckily, the elevators were still operating in the abandoned buildings, and as he made his way up, he had a good feeling about this one. The doors finally opened up to the penthouse suite and he could easily tell that someone had taken up residence there. "Cas, you here?!" He called out, his gun cocked and ready to go. Earlier that night Cas had gone out looking around. He was looking for the people that everyone had warned about over the network, but so far all he had seen were familiar faces from the hotel and no one or nothing dangerous. He felt like an hour or two had passed (he hadn’t checked the time) when he decided to give up and transport back to the hotel to see if Dean wanted to take a stroll through the park. Movement in his peripheral vision caught his eye, and the person he had been thinking about a second ago had seemingly been wished to the same sidewalk he was standing on. “Dean,” he smiled as he walked forward, his boyfriend turning his head to look at him. Cas didn’t miss the furrowing of Dean’s brow or the confused look that was playing lightly across his face, but that he chalked up the two of them unexpectedly running into each other. Nothing seemed amiss, nothing felt wrong and Cas simply ventured forward and reached out to twine Dean’s fingers with his. Everything after that happened so fast. One second he was free, the next he had a pair of handcuffs slapped on his wrists - and not just any handcuffs he would find out, but angel cuffs, each locking bracelet etched with sigils that would nullify his powers and his strength. Just before the butt of a gun rendered him unconscious, Cas understood exactly who he was looking at and what was probably going to happen to him. When he awoke he was strung up, dangling from the ceiling by some kind of homemade pulley, cuffs off but Dean drawing yet another sigil into his foot, one that would, to his captor's glee, bind Castiel’s powers and keep him as weak as if he were wearing the cuffs. For the first time, he was able to get a good look at this demon Dean. He wasn’t an ordinary demon, in that he wasn’t possessed, and his face through Cas’ eyes was his own. He was strong and powerful, and he seemed to enjoy speculating on Cas’ relationship with Dean and making him roll his eyes, but when he was tired of talking, fists flew. Feet flew. And that first blade he kept so close-cut through Cas’ flesh like butter. Dean was going to be pissed when he figured out that he had been messaging the demon version of himself at the end and not talking to Cas at all, but to the demon's credit, he hadn’t really lied - exaggerated, underplayed definitely, but not lie. He had no doubts that Dean was going to come through, no matter what he said Cas knew he would come here to save his idiot angel. And he was right. He heard Dean, his Dean’s voice bellow through the apartment. At first Cas’ voice was laced with pain, but then he yelled. “It’s a trap, you know!” He heard Castiel's voice from where he stood, and he could tell that he was in pain. It was hard not to feel guilty about the situation. While he might not have been the one doing the actual torturing, it was his fault that this version of himself ever existed in the first place. While he wasn't sure what his alter-ego was after, Dean wasn't surprised to hear it was a trap. Castiel had been the bait to lure him out of the hotel, and now, here he was, prepared to get his ass kicked by himself. It wasn't the first time, and it probably wouldn't be the last. Deanmon was standing right next to Cas when the angel called out, and he rolled his eyes. "You know, if I wasn't so interested in hearing your screams, I would have fucking stuffed your mouth with a ball gag. Though, maybe you'd kind of like that?" He smirked in amusement and gave Cas a good shove. "You're going to have a front-row ticket to the end of Dean Winchester. On a scale of one to ten, how excited are you to see me end him?" He knew that the moment Dean saw Cas, he would react in his usual hot-headed temper and it would be that much more thrilling. Dean stepped into the area where they were and he immediately shot his gun to drop Cas from the pulley. "You sick and twisted son of a bitch. I might not be able to kill you, but you can bet your ass that I'll make you wish you could." He paused for a moment to direct his attention to the other man. "Cas, are you okay?" He questioned, full of concern for his boyfriend. Cas rolled his eyes at Deanmon, he wasn't going to give the satisfaction of saying anything along the lines of what he liked stuffed in his mouth instead, so he just rolled his eyes and gave a snort. "Sam took you out once, now you're up against an arguably better hunter, I wouldn't get my hopes up too high," Cas said, slipping for just a second, his feet almost going flat while the ropes nearly pulled his arms out of their sockets. He wouldn't lie, that shit hurt, it even hurt when he took a breath - his positioning didn't allow for much but pain, pain, and more pain - so that's why when he spoke it was for a good reason, like warning Dean and simultaneously letting him know that they were indeed there. And to taunt the demon who held him captive. Demon Dean was kind of a dick. A lot like the real Dean, except a demon. Cas heard the shot and felt his arms fall free, but he was unable to stop himself from falling flat to the floor. How long had he been up there? He was half expecting the demon to kick him over, or stop him somehow, but he already knew that whatever was happening was meant for Dean and not him. "I'm fine," he managed to say, looking down at his feet while he pulled at his ropes with his teeth. He tried to catch Dean's eyes with his own, glancing silently at the back pocket the first blade was in. "Kill him and let's go." "You're all bark and no bite, Dean. You still have all that guilt holding you back. Although, I do give you credit for finally admitting how you felt about Cas." He was in no rush to tie Castiel up again, the angel was helpless and wouldn't get very far on his own. "Yeah, so what? Guilt is what makes you human." He countered in return, not about to let his other self get in his head. He saw where Castiel's eyes had gone, and he knew that the first blade was tucked away there. "No, guilt is what eats away at you on a daily basis. Guilt is what drives you to drink so much. For you, guilt is a prison, and I'm more than happy to set you free from it all." He looked back at Dean with a cocky grin, ready to fight. "You know what? I don't have time for this bullshit, you talk too much." Dean rolled his eyes and fired his gun at the other's head. "Dean, really? I would think-" he stopped short when he suddenly realized that he couldn't move. "What was that again? I don't think I heard you. Come a little bit closer so I can hear better." There was a slight pause, and then he continued. "Oh, right, the bullet I just fired into your head? It's got a devil's trap carved into it. So, if you don't want to be glued to the floor for all time, you'll have to dig it out of your head." He hurried over to where Cas was and crouched down to help him up, cutting whatever rope was still left behind. "Can you walk, or do I need to carry you?" It was a serious question, and even though it would be a challenge, he would tough it out for Cas. Castiel knew that Dean wouldn’t just shoot to shoot, not in this situation, or hope that his bullet would knock the demon off-center long enough for him to grab the blade. Dean had been working with demons and killing them for years, Cas knew he would never underestimate the other Dean or the situation at all. But he watched him fire, watched the bullet land, and as expected, do nothing. Or, at least it seemed that way. Of course. How could he forget something like that? The boys never seemed to utilize those devils trap bullets as often as they should, but this time, in this scenario, Dean had. Cas almost laughed. “You’d carry me all the way downstairs and all the way back to the hotel?” Cas huffed a laugh, not because he doubted Dean could do it, but because he knew he would hear about his fat ass or something for days and days to come. He was still busy untying the massive amounts of rope the demon had used on him. “Give me a knife, or make a mark through the sigil on my foot, render it useless and I should work again.” And be able to heal, because holy shit, he hurt, Dean - the demon variety - had done a lot of damage to him. “What did you mean finally admit his feelings for me?” Cas asked the demon, almost as an afterthought. “Do you have them too?” “The what, now?” Dean looked at Cas with a furrowed brow and then dropped his gaze to the angel’s feet. When he saw what the other had done, an incredible wave of rage and anger took over him. There was a huge part of him that wanted to retaliate and inflict the same pain and suffering he had caused Cas, but there was no point. The other would probably enjoy it too much. Deanmon wasn’t about to give either of them the satisfaction by making a scene, and he simply crossed his arms over his chest and gave a shrug of his shoulders. He turned to watch as Dean sliced the blade through the sigil on Castiel’s foot. “What I meant, Cas, was exactly what I said.” Before he could continue what he was saying, Dean jumped in. “The attraction to you started shortly after we first met, like, maybe a few months in? I dunno when, exactly, but it doesn’t really matter at this point.” Thinking back on it, he realized that the only person he had been able to fool in regards to not having feelings for him, was Cas, and maybe himself. Everyone else had seen right through it, despite Dean trying his damndest to pretend otherwise. He had shoved all of the emotions he had felt, deep down, into his never-ending pit of despair, and he had been prepared to take it all to his grave. Which, was actually what would have happened, had Cas not been at the hotel. “Good luck with the surgery on your head, jackass. I’d say it was a pleasure, but it really wasn’t.” Dean added, rising from the crouched position he had been in, moving to head out. “In the end, your hubris was your downfall, just so you know. I knew you would be sloppy with the execution of your fucked up plan.” There was only a slight amount of flinching when the blade broke through the sigil on his foot, almost immediately restoring his powers as the injury itself started to heal on his foot. Now that the demon!Dean was no threat to them and didn’t seem to be working on the bullet removal from his head, there was no reason to hurry away from here yet and he could take a moment to let himself really heal and check over Dean even though he didn’t seem like he had been injured on this adventure. Cas focused his eyes on the demon, and how belligerent and uncaring he seemed to be, and the words he started and his Dean finished only made him feel butterflies and an aching heart all at the same time. “It does matter, Dean. There will always be my wish that you had said something or showed something from the moment that you felt it, but it’s - in some way it’s nice to realize that I wasn’t alone in my pining.” He looked over at the demon version of Dean while he grabbed onto his already standing version of Dean’s forearm to help hoist himself from the floor. “So you know, even though you’ll probably never see the day, Sam and I didn’t give up on you. Despite everything you did to thwart us, we never gave up and we managed to help you come back.” Cas’ wounds and bruises faded as he spoke and the hold he had on Dean’s arm became their two hands twined together as he prepared to leave along with Dean. It was a confession he would have rather left unsaid, but he knew that his demonic self was about to spill the beans and Dean wanted to be the one to confess. He wondered if it would have even made a difference by acknowledging the way he felt about Cas, but it seemed highly unlikely to him. In fact, Castiel had likely been better off not knowing. "I didn't even know until you said something." He had always known that he felt differently about Cas, but he hadn't realized it was love that he felt. Or, maybe he had and had been too afraid to acknowledge it. Certain things were always better left unsaid. The other Dean looked at Cas in disgust and rolled his eyes. "Please, don't make me vomit. This has been the best thing to ever happen to me and I wouldn't trade that for anything." There was a part of Dean that felt guilty to leave the other in such a predicament, but he knew that the other would find a way out. He always did. He hesitated a moment before taking Castiel's hand in his own and walked with him to the elevator. "I am so glad that I didn't have to carry you all the way back to the hotel. I don't think my back could have handled it. Getting old sucks, Cas." Cas just returned the look with sadness. Seeing Dean - but not really Dean - look at him with such revulsion on his face, hurt. Rationally, he did completely understand that that wasn’t Dean, his Dean. But then again, wasn’t it? He knew for a fact that things Dean as a demon had said to Sam still hurt him two years after they had brought Dean back to his normal self, because whatever he said, whatever he did, was Dean without a filter. Everything was still what he thought and felt, but without the filter and all the limits on it. Without a word uttered in response to the other Dean, he walked hand in hand with his Dean to the elevators. “I would offer to fly us back, but you never did like to travel that way. And I think I would just like to take a minute and enjoy the change of scenery.” The elevator dinged as its doors opened and Cas pulled Dean inside. “I need to know. If I had never said anything, does that mean that you would have never known what you felt? And, how do you know what you feel for me is real, and not some exaggerated sense of gratefulness that I sacrificed myself for you? While he would have considered flying back to the hotel this one time, he was more than happy to walk back with Cas. Of course, the other would have questions, but he had been hoping it would slide by, given the circumstances. His gaze fixated on the numbers going down and he contemplated his answer. Dean knew that the way he felt about Castiel hadn’t been the result of gratefulness, but trying to explain that properly was going to be a challenge. He let out a heavy sigh and reached up with his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Cas, you have died repeatedly, and every single time I thought you were gone for good. Aside from one time, that is. I kept your body for days, hoping that you would come back like you always did, and I was in such denial that I couldn’t let you go. When I finally accepted that you weren’t coming back and I had to stand there and watch your body go up in flames, it was like a knife in my heart and the pain was indescribable.” His voice grew softer as he spoke and his head dropped to look down at their feet, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. The elevator doors opened and Dean took a deep breath, giving Cas’ hand a squeeze as they stepped out and into the lobby. “When the empty took you away, I just sat there with my head in my hands, thinking that this time, you were truly gone forever and that I would never see you again. Not even in the afterlife, because you went to a different place.” He squeezed Castiel’s hand again, this time a bit more firmly and longer. “It was easier to die than to accept I would never see your face again. That’s how I know that what I feel is real.” There was a part of him that felt guilty for asking the question that he had, but the larger part that was simply a guy in love wanted to know the truth. What it was that had really brought them together. It was easy for him to know what he had felt and why he had kept it a secret for so long, but he had never really asked or been told what it was that made Dean admit or feel the way he felt. Lips pressed together, Cas was silent but listening as Dean spoke, he watched the hunter fill with emotion as he spoke, more emotion than Cas had seen come from Dean in a long time, and felt more emotion than he himself had felt in a long time. He gripped Dean's fingers a little more tightly as they walked, letting the words wash over him and take root in his mind as they left the lobby and hit the empty streets of empty New York at night. Suddenly, he turned and grabbed Dean's shirt and dragged him close while his own back met purchase with the large wall of the building they had just left. For a few seconds, he ran his fingers over Dean's jaw. "I won't leave you," he promised, blue eyes full and glistening, only shadowed by a streetlight in front of them. He pressed their lips together in a few closed-mouth kisses. "As long as we're both here - in this hotel, we can keep what took us so long to find." |