Ellie reached out, brushing her fingers against Dina's arm. "I know." She felt like Dina wasn't really listening, but maybe she just needed to get her own stuff out there, and that was okay, too. "I don't expect it to, I already..." It occurred to her that maybe Dina was saying what she was saying not because she wasn't listening but because that was what she wanted and she was trying not to give in, but that only served to frustrate and confuse Ellie, because...well, why not?
"I'd take it back if I could," was what she finally settled on, surprising herself by the fact that she was holding it together, stroking Dina's arm. "But I can't. I don't, I know things can't ever go back to the way they were, and I'm not gonna force you to...whatever. I'm too tired, I'm..." She closed her eyes, trying desperately to fight back her own tears. "I know I broke my promise. I can't explain to you why, because...Dina, the fact that you don't seem to..." she reached down, took Dina's hand in her own. "You felt safe and I'm glad you did, even though I was being fuckin consumed with this complete and total darkness and I was scared...I mean, I felt like even if I didn't end up..." she trailed off, unable to say the words out loud. "...that hurting you or Potato accidentally were both very real possibilities, and then Tommy..." she swallowed hard. "You deserve to have a good life and I don't deserve to have a place in it. But I'm trying to do better and be better and so I just wanted to talk to you one more time, okay?"