Dean Winchester (agentplant) wrote in crownplazaic, @ 2021-01-25 09:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, castiel, dean winchester |
Who: Dean Winchester & Castiel
Where: Room 113
When: 1/24/21 - morning
What: Guess who's back?
Status: Closed - Complete
Warnings: Slightly sexual - ftb.
When he had needed him, Castiel hadn't been there. Dean knew that the angel would never ignore his prayer, and so it only made sense that the angel had left unexpectedly. He certainly didn't fault the other, there was no control over what happened to them. But, it didn't make it hurt any less. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. There was always something getting in the way of them and maybe they had been doomed from the start. Most of the day had been spent at the bar and he was certainly feeling the effects of it that morning. With a tired groan, he opened his eyes slowly and turned to look at the clock beside the bed. It was almost ten and he contemplated spending the rest of the day in bed. But, maybe he would shower and get himself something to eat first. Maybe. His palms rubbed against his eyes and he noticed a blurry figure just standing there. "Sam? What the fuck are you-" no, that wasn't Sam. The hair color was wrong and so was the height, and what the hell were they- "Cas?" Dean sat up quickly and just stared at the other in disbelief. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" He questioned, his voice mournful as he spoke. "Well, I guess this is better than not seeing you at all." After he had checked in, Castiel had walked around all morning, inside and outside, testing boundaries trying to get a feel for this place. He didn't learn much, only that the air around the place breathed magic - something old and potent and something he couldn't recognize - and that, somehow, this was earth, or very close to it, and he wondered what could have dragged him away from Jack and Heaven, and put him back on earth. He wasn't supposed to be here. It felt like he was being punished. Being rescued from the Empty and helping Jack remake Heaven as a more human-friendly place - he had thought that one day he would be able to rejoin his friends, to see them again. But, as he waited for Dean to adjust to death, to his new life in Heaven, suddenly, Castiel was just here. When he had run into Sam in the lobby earlier this morning he had been confused, but thrilled to see him and to meet his son. But when Sam told him that Dean was there - there were no words. But he put on his best, most unconcerned face as Sam led him to their room and let him inside. Being here wasn't something that was supposed to happen, and Cas wasn't even how long he had stood there and watched Dean as he slept, the long fan of eyelashes that swept his freckle dusted cheek. He felt like he hadn't seen him in years. "You aren't dreaming, I'm here," he said when Dean stirred and tried to get his bearings. He wasn't sure exactly what point in time Dean was from, but he guessed that it was after they had parted ways - his own end. He sat down on the foot of Dean's bed and was quiet for a minute before he smiled softly. "Hello, Dean." "I'm not-" he felt the weight shift as Castiel sat down on the bed and he looked back at him in awe. "Did you just get here? How did you know where I was?" He could tell by the way Cas handled himself that it wasn't the same Cas he had slept with, but did it really matter? Cas was still Cas, and he was here. His fingers scratched over his stubbled jaw and then brushed through his hair slowly. "I thought... did you die for me?" He questioned curiously, trying to figure out where he came from. After saying the words he realized it was kind of an awkward thing to say, but he had just woken up and was still groggy, plus he had a headache. "Sorry, I need some coffee, it's- well, okay, it's not early, but I had kind of a late night." After day drinking, he had spent the night keeping an eye on DJ, while Sam had gone off to hang out with Gabe. "I guess I should get dressed, maybe." "Sam let me in. I bumped into him and his son downstairs after check-in." He didn't think it was necessary to bore Dean with the whole story of how he came to be here just a few hours ago, or how he got here, which truthfully, he didn't know yet. "He did ask me to tell you Happy Birthday, however. So, happy birthday." Cas' lips parted slightly at the question Dean had blurted out, not because he was upset, it didn't bother him that he had gone to the empty, but it made him think about the moment again, and he was quiet for a few seconds. He was never going to have been prepared for that talk no matter how long he waited. "I - when I was taken by the Empty, technically, I didn't die. I was very much alive when she -," he paused and gave a swallow. "But yes, I did it for you." He rose when Dean said he needed coffee, glad for a break from that, no matter how short or long it was. Whatever Dean wanted to know, he'd tell him. "I can make you some." He pointed to the single cup coffee maker that was set up on the table and set off working. "Don't get up or get dressed on my account, I can give this to you when it's done." "What? It's not my birthday," he stated as he reached over to grab his phone. "Not until the- oh, well, I guess I lost track of time." After Sam had been gone, the days all blurred into one and he had completely forgotten it was his birthday. "Thanks. Did you bring me a present, or... let me guess. I get to unwrap you?" He added with a cheeky grin. The mood shifted slightly and he gave a nod. "You couldn't see me anymore, so in my book, that's about as good as dead." There was no point in really dwelling on it. It had happened and Dean would be soon to follow, but none of that mattered right now. "I shouldn't get dressed on your account? Should I get undressed on your account, then?" Fuck. What was he even doing right now? "If you would be so kind as to make me a cup, yeah, that would be awesome, thanks. Was Sam on his way to bring me bacon, I hope?" "Since it's your birthday it must be January," Cas was trying to figure out a timeline in his mind. That was another thing that didn't matter either but he still wanted to know when he had taken his leap and… when Dean had taken his, and how far into the future this place had brought them. Maybe that simple information had been on the registry, if he'd just paid attention. His head snapped up and he looked back over his shoulder at Dean, eyebrow lifted in silent question, and he couldn’t help but lift the corner of his lips up at Dean’s cheeky smile. "I uh, don't have anything under my suit so it wouldn't be much of a gift -," Oh. Oh. Castiel didn't know what to say, Dean was surely teasing, and a large part of him was glad that things between them seemed to go right back to normal. Dean really didn't seem to want to talk about their last moments together - or what he had thought was their last moments - and that was fine. He could live with that. He was getting what felt like mixed signals but - it didn't matter. "I've been in here about an hour I believe, or maybe longer, if Sam was coming back with bacon I'm sure it would be cold by now," he took the mug after the coffee had finished brewing over to Dean and set the steaming cup on the nightstand next to the bed. "I can go downstairs and get you some breakfast if you like, or," he sat back down on Dean's bed, closer to Dean this time and shrugged out of his trenchcoat. "I can keep you company and we can - talk - if you would prefer." Dean knew that much at least, that it was January, but it felt like the month had only just begun. He couldn't help but chuckle at how clueless Cas was, but it seemed he figured it out after a moment. He reached over and lifted the cup of coffee to his lips, eyes closed as he inhaled the aroma. "Ah, the nectar of the Gods, absolutely delicious." He took a careful sip, both hands wrapped around the mug. "Hey, do you think you can do me a favor since you came here empty-handed and all?" Dean teased, a crooked smile on his face. "Can you maybe get rid of my headache? I had a little too much to drink last night." He took another careful sip and watched as Cas not only removed his coat but then moved closer to him on the bed. "Oh, I'd much prefer to do something else, but talking works too." Was he supposed to tell him about the other Cas who had just left? No, maybe not. What was the difference anyway, it would only make things awkward. "You're ridiculous," Cas smiled as he watched Dean handle the cup as carefully as if it was a newborn. This was the most simple and easy exchange the two of them had had together since - well, in ages. There was always so much drama in their lives, everything always seemed to come at them from all sides all the time. This was downtime, and this was nice. What it took to get them there, where they could have five minutes of this was really sad. A look of concern crossed Cas' features when Dean mentioned a headache, but it lessened a degree as he scooted closer to him so that he could actually reach his head. "You just missed my touch," he said, glancing at Dean as he lifted two fingers to the hunter's forehead, lightly touching him as they glowed just a little bit to take his pain away. Cas got caught up looking at Dean and scarcely realized that he had lowered his hand to gently rest his fingers against Dean's cheek. "I wasn't really sure I'd ever see you again," he gave a small and humorous laugh. "I'm a little bit in awe that I'm here with you right now." He moved his hand and shook his head, tossing his trenchcoat over to Sam's bed."What is it you'd prefer to do rather than talk? Or is there anything that you'd like to talk about?" "I know. I'm ridiculous, and you love me anyway." He replied with a smile, absolutely proud of himself. When Cas said he just missed his touch, Dean grinned crookedly. "How did you know? Is it your little angel esp you got going on in that head of yours?" His eyes closed, and when they opened, he felt much better. All thanks to Cas. When his eyes opened, he noticed the look that Cas was giving him, and it caused him to blush. He didn't look at him with pity, or like he was broken. No, Cas looked at him and he could just feel the love and that was a beautiful thing. "I know the feeling, Cas. I'm in awe that I'm with you right now myself." Dean leaned over and set the cup back down on the nightstand and turned his focus to Castiel. "What I'd like to do, is this," he said simply, and then leaned in to brush his lips against Castiel's in a tender kiss. Before he could say another word, there was another kiss, and then another. His hands moved to slide across his shoulders and down his back. Cas had seen Dean be adorable, but he couldn't remember ever having been the recipient of that extremely charming part of him before. And it was absolutely mind blowing to have that aimed at you. He didn't know what had changed, - no, scratch that, he did know what had changed, but Dean didn't seem to be avoiding what had been said as much as he was avoiding talk of what Cas had done. When he opened his mouth to question what Dean had just said, the words were almost spoken against Dean's lips when he kissed him. He moved his hand to Dean's side as he tilted his head just a bit and cupped the hunter's stubbly jaw and stroked a thumb over his cheek. Dean's lips were so soft, plush and warm, and they tasted faintly of the coffee he had been drinking. This was what he wanted, had always dreamed about having. And this was worth every sacrifice he'd ever made. He did break the kisses, both to give himself a moment to absorb this and to give Dean a moment to breathe. Was this what would have happened if he'd said something sooner? Cas moved his arm and circled Dean's waist and nudging at his lips with his own, asking for another kiss. Dean was more than happy to fulfill Castiel's request, but before he leaned in again, he moved to pull off his shirt, discarding it off to the side. He shifted against the bed and moved so that he was straddling the other man's lap, making it clear what he wanted. He kissed him passionately while his hips rolled to grind down against him. "I want you," he whispered hotly against his ear, just in case it wasn't as obvious to him. "I want you naked and in my arms. I don't care if I'm on top or not, I just want- no, I need you." His fingers came around to unbutton his suit jacket, followed by his shirt, moving swiftly. He didn't really care if Sam walked in on them, but then again, maybe he already knew what was going to happen. The last thing Cas had been expecting today, or any day ever, was a lapful of shirtless Dean Winchester kissing him and whispering how much he wanted him. How he wanted to be naked with him. How he needed him. Any other rational thought he could have had about this went out of the window when Dean ground down against him, the jogging pants he had slept in doing nothing to hide exactly how much he wanted Cas. After his own shirt was removed he grabbed Dean's bare back and pulled him closer, urging his legs to wrap around his waist as he kissed him hard and deep. He hadn't been with another man sexually before, but he wasn't exactly an idiot, he knew the mechanics, he knew the lingo, he knew the excited feeling in his stomach well, the one that started there and made the rest of his body feel flush with desire. Cas didn't care how this went either. All he cared about was being with him, in the biblical sense. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly, a sense of desperation in his tone. Dean paused a moment to look directly at Cas, maintaining eye contact as he spoke. "I've never been more sure before about anything in my life." He assured the other with a nod and a smile. His lips ghosted over his bare shoulders and up to his neck, kissing, sucking, and biting all over. His breath grew heated and he felt his body flush with fever, fingers moving to undo the belt buckle and unzip his pants. In a manner of minutes, they were both undressed, and soon Dean was buried deep inside Cas. With their fingers laced together, he moaned out in pleasure, kissing him hungrily. "You're amazing, fuck," he stated breathlessly, his heart pounding against his chest. All he wanted was to lay there in bed with Cas for the rest of the day, and for the moment, he felt nothing but pure bliss and happiness, a smile stuck on his face. It felt like they had gone at it for hours, having some of the most intense, passionate sex ever. Dean collapsed on top of the other, a breathless, sweaty, but content mess. "That was fucking perfect." There had to be something to the people who 'held out for love'. This -what he was doing with Dean, there was nothing, no feeling he had ever had that he could even compare to what he felt now. His body was drumming and singing all at once, and he was not ashamed to admit that there might have been tears of the overwhelmed, the of which evidence still clung like tiny diamonds to his lashes, but describing how he felt, summing it up, giving even a description wasn't really possible. As it was, words seemed to have left him for a moment, and while he was still coming down he wrapped his shay arms around Dean as the man collapsed on top of him and uttered something that sounded like 'wow'. Once a semblance of reality floated back to him, Cas held Dean and rolled them both over to their sides, face to face, and he felt like he couldn't stop running his fingers through Dean's hair or touching his face. He was amazed that he was here, like this, with Dean. "Heaven could never compare," he whispered, pressing his lips against Dean's. With just one look or a simple touch, it felt like Castiel could turn his world upside down. As they laid together, side by side, he noticed the glistening of tears against his lashes. "How did I get so lucky?" He whispered in response, actually feeling loved. Which was terrifying, yet exhilarating. Dean had been blind for so long, but now he had seen the light and there were no excuses anymore. His hand moved to sweep across his back and he kissed the angel repeatedly. "You better not leave me again. I don't think that I could handle it." His fingers traced lazy patterns against his bare skin, and he snuggled a little closer to Cas. "Cas…" his voice was soft as he spoke, slightly nervous at the moment. "I just want you to know that I-" Dean stopped himself and took a deep breath to calm himself. "I- I love you, too." "I'm the lucky one," Cas said in response. He was almost afraid to let go of Dean, stop touching him, because it felt like if he did Dean would just disappear. That none of this would be real. But - even he couldn't imagine something this wonderful in his head. "I don't know what I've done to deserve this, but I want so much to keep this. I don't ever want to leave." Honestly, he still wasn't quite sure where he was, but wherever this was, this afterlife or parallel universe, he wanted to stay in it. After Dean spoke, Cas was quiet, he tried to respond without his voice cracking but the sound wouldn't even leave his mouth. He smiled at Dean, fingertips pressing a little deeper than he meant, not painfully, into Dean's shoulders. "I love that you can say that, I love that you do," and he loved that he could feel it. It felt like their relationship had taken a giant leap in a short time, but it had been years. "Love of my life." He had said it. Dean had finally said the words and now Cas knew. He wouldn't have to worry if his feelings were reciprocated anymore, and things wouldn't have to be awkward between them. "Cas, if it weren't for you, we wouldn't even be here right now." It was strange how a chain of fucked up events had led to this. If Cas hadn't made the promise with the shadow, they would have both been dead, fast asleep in the Empty, alone. If he didn't know that he was going to die, he might not ever have taken the chance. So many things had happened to bring them to this point and it was hard to believe they had finally made it this far. He felt how the angel gripped him a little tighter, and Dean just smiled. "Honestly, I can't believe I finally said it. But, I didn't want to take it to my grave. I needed you to know." His fingers traced over his lips and he leaned in for a chaste kiss, arms tight around the other. If he had never gone to hell, would they have ever met? It was strange to think that everything brought them to this moment and it was one of the few good things about the hotel. It had given them a chance to be together. "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, Cas." He whispered against his ear, fingers gliding over his shoulder. Cas had always assumed that the feelings he had for Dean were his alone, that Dean never shared them, not for him, nor would he ever. And that had been just fine, Cas loved him anyway, and he would do it from afar, he could do it from afar, forever. The only reason that he had ever said the words out loud was because of the deal he'd made with the entity and he realized that just saying it, feeling it, made him happy. And the entity had known, too. When they had first met in the Empty they had said to him that they 'knew who he loved'. That it was willing to wait so long to collect on a deal was a scary thought, and one he would like to banish forever. "I was always grateful that it was me and not another angel," he said softly. No one else was in the room and there was barely a hairsbreadth of space between them, but talking low, whispering, it all felt more intimate. They were in a bubble, their own little world, and he wasn't quite ready to leave it yet. "But I wanted it to be me. Even then I just wanted to hold you and protect you. I think I fell in love then and didn't realize what I felt." Cas dragged his lips slowly along Dean's jaw and dropped kisses all the way under his chin and on his throat, his hand now drifting from his ass to his upper back. "It doesn't matter when you said it, that you even said it at all - means everything." He kissed Dean again, still marveling that he could. "I was waiting in Heaven for you," he said simply. "Right before I came here, that's where I was. I suppose something got tired of seeing us starcrossed and hurried things along." "But, you didn't even know me, Cas. Not to mention the fact that I wasn't exactly at my best down there." It wasn't something he liked to talk about, or even think about, but he wasn't sure how anyone could have fallen in love with him when he had been so weak. It didn't matter that it had been a part he needed to play. His father had resisted, and he should have too. "No, forget I asked, it's fine, it doesn't matter how or why." Torturing other souls in hell was one of his biggest disappointments, if not the biggest. But, it wasn't a moment for self-hatred and disgust. Cas loved him, despite all of the things he had done, and there wasn't anything that the angel didn't know. He didn't have to hide or pretend to be something else, it was already out there in the open and Dean didn't have to worry that Cas would find out and leave him. "What are we, Romeo and Juliet? Two star crossed lovers who were never meant to be together in life?" Yes, some of what he learned in school had stuck. "I'm just happy that I get to spend a birthday I was never supposed to have with you." He stated before brushing his lips over Cas' jaw. "Just so you know, at the rate we're going, I think I might need you again." "Not to venture too far into something you don't want to talk about, but I saw your soul. You've always seen yourself as broken and bad, but when I saw you that first time - I've never seen a more beautiful, purer soul than yours. You didn't belong where you were. The world we're in now doesn't even deserve you, Dean, and I certainly don't." But he wasn't letting him go. He wasn't as selfless as he should be, and he was far weaker creature than anyone assumed. They were all right, he was lost the very first moment he ever touched Dean Winchester, and he never wanted to look back. Castiel gave a little chuckle and kissed Dean. "Romeo and Juliet. Both of us have done the death part, repeatedly, lets just hope that now that our paths have crossed again that this is the final and right time for us," he said, sliding his arms around Dean's neck, his kisses punctuating everything he was saying. "Mm, well, it is your birthday, I suppose you're entitled to whatever you want." How could a soul so pure be easily corrupted, he wondered? Cas was kind of pushing it when he said the world didn't even deserve him, but it was all subjective, he supposed. He wanted to make a crack about that being the reason why he had never settled down, but thought better of it and figured it was better left unsaid. "Yes, this better be our time, finally." Dean wondered if they had both survived if they might have ended up together. But, there was no point in dwelling on what might have been. They had the here and now to focus on, and now, Dean was ready to enjoy Cas as much as possible. "How about we switch positions this time?" He grinned crookedly and let his hand travel down to grab a firm hold of the other man's ass. "If I get whatever I want, I think we might be in bed all day." |