Ben was desperate to fly. To feel the purr of the engine vibrate through his body as he sliced through the air at reckless speeds! To spin circles in the sky and forget everything below. But he had to be content with staying on the ground for now. There was comfort in knowing that he wasn’t the only one feeling restless. Han appeared to be adjusting well enough.
Maybe too well.
Ben was surprised at the candor in Han’s voice. It was obvious that his father had spoken to nearly everyone else before being forced into this current conversation. Rey, naturally, would have filled in the blanks the most, though he didn’t think she would have said anything too damning. The others, however, were another problem. He expected more disappointment in his father’s voice. Not .... well he didn’t know if it was affection but it was something.
“No matter what I’ve done....” he repeated the words slowly. A voice in the back of his mind told him to let it go. To accept what little he’d been offered. This was the closest to acceptance that he had been able to get since arriving here. He didn’t want to make things complicated but he didn’t want to hide behind the mask any longer.
He picked up his glass and took a loud gulp. “Even if I’ve killed you?”