Aziraphale (soft_angel) wrote in crownplazaic, @ 2020-10-29 00:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, aziraphale, lucifer morningstar |
Who: Aziraphale and Lucifer
Where: One of the hallways
When: BACKDATED - September 26th
What: An angel and devil meet
Status: Complete in gdocs
Warnings: A bit of suggestive talk, but not too bad.
Tea. Aziraphale needed a cup of tea. Immediately.
And maybe some biscuits, if there were any. Choco bickies would be ideal. Or maybe a blueberry scone? But they had to be fresh. With a smattering of clotted cream. Oooo! Cream reminded him of Victoria sponge, would this place have that? Hypothetically, they were in Scotland, although the more time that passed, the more suspicious Aziraphale became that this was a lie.
TEA! It was easier to think about tea. So, with this as his goal, the angel emerged from the library to seek out the location of the hotel kitchen.,
________
Lucifer had been greatly relieved when he had awoken to find the pirate clothing to be nothing but a distant memory. His designer suits had returned and he was able to once again style his hair as usual. He ventured out of his room and made his way towards the bar, finding that it was never too early to start drinking. Midway to the bar, he found himself facing another being who was Lucifer found to be oddly dressed.
The other appeared to be new as he seemed a little lost in direction and Lucifer spoke up to address. “Are you looking for something in particular? If it’s the bar, I’m headed there myself, and if anywhere else, I might be able to properly guide you.”
__________
The voice Aziraphale heard behind him was not only unexpected, but its tone caused an eerie sensation, an unpleasant tingle, and a knot in the area where his stomach ought to be. Who could cause such a reaction? Tentatively, he looked over his shoulder and furrowed his brow at the man that he didn’t recognize. Then, with a fearful gasp, he instinctively knew whom he was facing: this was no man, nor some ordinary demon. This was the Demon, capital D followed by EVIL, the original fallen angel, himself.
Aziraphale’s eyes bulged open wide in terror, and scuttled backwards as far as possible until he found himself back flat against the wall with nowhere else to go. “You!” he managed to blurt out, once recovered. He began to mutter, “So this is Hell. It must be, mustn’t it? What with you here and all? I had an inkling it might be. All this time, and it’s finally caught up with me... I’ve gone and fallen.” His voice cracked miserably with that last sentence, and he continued being close to tears, “I don’t deserve to be punished! And what in Your name did you do with Crowley!”
__________
Lucifer was stunned by such a reaction, confused as to why the other would react so harshly. The only time his presence elicited such a response was when he revealed his true form to another human. It took him a moment to realize that the man across from him had to be a celestial being and was capable of seeing beyond his usual appearance, or possibly a psychic. "I assure you, we have never met before and I haven't the slightest idea of who you are." He remarked simply and advanced towards the other, rather amused now.
"No, this is not Hell, it's a bit lacking in heat, wouldn't you say?" He grinned brightly and stopped when there were only a few feet between them. "I suppose I don't need to introduce myself, but, who might you be? What in Lucifer did I do with Crowley? Never heard of him."
_____
The idea of Crowley being in trouble helped Aziraphale to muster the courage to rebuke the Prince of Darkness. He indignantly shook his finger and scolded, “Ooooo, you can’t fool me. I know your wiles. Don’t come any closer!” Between Lucifer’s grin and being far too close in his personal space, Aziraphale was made uncomfortable, but he sallied forth. “If you’ve done anything to Crowley, I’ll… well… there’s probably not much I can do at this point. But I shall be very cross!”
Befuddled at first, Aziraphale began to ramble his thought process. “What sort of game are you playing at? Crowley told me he’d gotten commendations from you for his outstanding work on Earth. Why, we met face to face just the other day! How have you already forgotten? Ah, but you are the Devil, after all! Alright then, I’ll play along. I am Aziraphale, Principality. Uhhh... former Principality at this rate.” He paused for a moment to consider how to continue, but building up steam, he did so with gusto. “My partner is Crowley, formerly from your ranks. We defied Heaven and Hell to stop this foolish Armageddon nonsense, and I might add, quite successfully! All things considered...”
_____
Lucifer sighed dramatically and reached down to adjust the buttons on his jacket. As much as he wanted to play along and continue the ruse, he was different from others. This Lucifer, prided himself on telling the truth and never lied, even when it had been at the detriment of Chloe. “Oh, you? You’re going to be very cross? Tell me, should that make me quake with fear? I should be terrified of you, some kind of dormouse?” He scoffed in disbelief and shook his head. He usually didn’t act like this, in any other circumstances he would have told the other he wasn’t who he believed he was, but he was bored.
He cocked his head to the side and then moved close enough to reach out and touch the other man’s lapels, taking care in doing so. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Aziraphale. You’re quite low on the pecking order, it would seem.” Lucifer brushed his fingers over the collar of the other man’s shirt and finally took a few steps back. “I know nothing of an Armageddon, but, congratulations on your accomplishments. Hopefully, by now, you have come to realize that I am not the Lucifer you believe me to be. If you don’t, well, that’s fine with me. I couldn’t care less either way.”
________
The unfortunate truth was that Aziraphale was accustomed to being bemeaned by his fellow angels. While technically, Principalities were higher up the celestial totem pole than Archangels, between his negligent blunder in the Garden of Eden that resulted in his demotion, and subsequent reassignment to live on Earth among the mortals, which was considered ‘dirty work’ by most, and which placed him under the jurisdiction of Gabriel, he was tolerated by Heaven at best, and the target of condescension. So much so, that he preferred the company of humans instead of angels, and better still, solitude (the best was Crowley).
But compared to Lucifer, Aziraphale was indeed a dormouse, and being called that took the wind out of his sails. The angel’s body completely tensed, and he cringed when he was touched, feeling violated and fully expecting to experience pain. None came. Aziraphale remained fully on guard, even as Lucifer turned away, but his curiosity was piqued.
“What... what sort of Lucifer are you?”
________
“Well, for starters, I don’t lie. In general, I do not kill, maim or torture anyone, humans and supernatural beings alike. It’s only happened twice and under extreme circumstances. Definitely not something I enjoyed doing.” Lucifer paused for a moment and considered his statement with a sly grin. “I take that back, maybe I do torture people a little, to get the truth out of them, but nothing quite as awful as you might think. The detective would never allow such a thing, trust me on that.” He declared firmly, standing tall and proud.
“My Father does not allow me to meddle in the affairs of humans, and yes, I do obey his rules, albeit begrudgingly at most times. I do not enjoy ruling Hell and I simply want to enjoy life on earth. Does that answer your question?”
_________
But that’s what demons do. They lie, was Aziraphale’s immediate thought. How many times had he accused Crowley of lying? So, right off the bat, the angel was suspicious. But the longer he listened, the more sincerity he could hear in Lucifer’s tone. Releasing some of his tension, but still keeping up his guard, he regarded the Devil with curiosity. “You sound like Crowley...” he muttered. “Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say Crowley ever tortured anybody... and he always did a good amount of meddling....”
He grimaced a little, remembering the interactions he witnessed between the demons in his short visit to Hell. “Yes, I’ve been there. It’s not a pleasant place, by any stretch of the imagination. And the demons seem like an unruly lot. I suppose though, if you delegated your authority properly, Hell’s administration could go on without your direct supervision. I mean, that’s what we do in Heaven...” He paused, then asked, “Your Father?”
_________
“I have no idea who Crowley is, the name does not ring a bell and I know every demon by name. I’m not sure what your Hell is like, but mine...we started out using conventional methods of torture, it was all we knew. But, now, we place the occupants of Hell in what we call a Hell loop, which involves more of emotional torture. The demons, however, yes, they can be unruly and they did cause a bit of an uprising when I retired from Hell, and I did have to return to rule, since they were incapable of handling things on their own. But then Michael decided to make an appearance and attempted to properly fuck up my life. Which, I have to say, he is doing a fantastic job of being a giant bag of dicks.”
Lucifer growled at the very thought of his twin, completely frustrated by it all. He reached into his front pocket and retrieved his flask to take a long drink. “Yes, my Father, the one who created me and all us other celestials. Well, my mum too, of course. Why do you say it like that?”
______
Emotional torture sounded horrific, but Aziraphale didn’t consider the psychological abuse he’d taken from his fellow angels were pretty much along the same line. Again, he grimaced, then commented, “There’s no need for such language.” Not that Aziraphale believed that Lucifer, of all people, would censor his speech. It did help make him feel superior, since he didn’t swear himself (except for that one time, but that was totally justifiable!).
“Hmmmm... it rather sounds like your Michael is the same as mine.” There was a time when he wouldn’t have dreamed about saying anything ill about his fellow angels, but he’d just escaped execution at their hands. There were benefits to his newly acquired freedom, however it would take a while to be fully comfortable with it. “Father and mum?” Aziraphale made a face at how odd this sounded, then answered, “Now I know something is off.” He spoke with a sort of authority that maintained his reality was the one that was real and correct, without considering there might be other universes that were just as valid. “The Almighty presents as female. Oh, the humans have turned it around with their patriarchal norms, but She never felt the need to correct them.” He held his hands at waist level and started to wring them in a self-comforting way. “It’s odd that you refer to Her... or in your case, Him so... intimately. As Father. And I have no idea what you mean by mum. Do you mean to say you were procreated?”
______
Lucifer stared back at him oddly over the mention of his foul language and he thought back on what he had just said. “Do you mean dick or fuck?” He questioned for clarification, though he was almost certain the issue was over both words. “You know what I find most interesting? It seems that Michael, in any form, is always a giant douche. I guess it’s just built into his personality or something like that.” He shrugged it off and took another long drink from his flask before placing it back in his pocket.
“Now that is certainly an interesting tidbit, a female creator. But, no, mum didn’t give literal birth to us. We were simply created, willed into existence, as it were. We refer to Dad as God, and mum is the Goddess of creation. There also happens to be yet another universe where God prefers to be called, Chuck. Quite odd, if you ask me, nothing seems to be consistent in any world. Aside from Michael, of course. Michael is the dick and gets all the credit for being so good whilst I take on all the blame. The only similarity between us are our faces, we’re identical twins. Which, speaking of, I was also informed that a Lucifer exists in a world where he chooses to wear Sam Winchester as a meat suit, since he has no physical form of his own, apparently. He, from what I have been told, is also the complete opposite of me. So, there you have it. You should never judge a Lucifer by the name alone.”
_______
Aziraphale decided to let the whole foul language issue drop, before Lucifer started swearing indiscriminately to cause a reaction. He just huffed, and focused on the comments about Michael. Though he didn’t want to use the word douche, Aziraphale grimaced, then straightened his back before agreeing, “Yes. You may be right.” After a moment’s hesitation, he wondered, “What about your Gabriel?” The archangel was his direct supervisor, and a thorn in his side - was Gabriel also the same, elsewhere?
“Not female,” he corrected. “Presenting as female. There’s a distinction.” He gave Lucifer a not so discreet once-over, assuming this must be another difference between them. “The Almighty, his angels, both celestial and demonic, are neither male nor female. If we look like one or the other, it’s because we want it that way.”
With a furrowed brow, he listened to Lucifer continue, skeptically processing what he was being told. He still didn’t know how much to trust the Devil, but his curiosity kept prodding for more information. “Meat suit is a vulgar way of putting things. And I haven’t heard the name Sam Winchester before. But I do get your gist.”
_______
"I didn't get many visitors down in Hell and none of them enjoy spending time on Earth, so, I have absolutely no idea what Gabriel is like. It's been eons, as you can imagine. I've only seen Amenadiel, Azrael and Uriel during my time on Earth." He looked at him curiously over the mention of presenting as male or female.
"Mum and Dad are the only ones who lack a physical form that can walk amongst the general population. My angelic siblings are as they were created and the demons were born of Lilith. They can jump into bodies, but only if they have recently died, same for my parents. However, body jumping is forbidden under my rule." His gaze wandered down Aziraphale slowly and focused on his crotch.
"Does this mean you're lacking a dick, or does that materialize if you wish to present as male and can you make it whatever size you wish? Just curious, really."
______
Amenadiel, Azrael, and especially Uriel, were all known by Aziraphale. At least his own versions. How could he forget when Uriel cornered him in front of his own bookshop with pointed threats before Sandalphon punched him in the gut? Bad angels was what he called them, not to their faces, but after they’d left, and to him it was the worst he could muster. He didn’t know just how bad it would become. Then again, a part of him always knew - he’d just been in denial because there was no way out of his situation, and he needed to make the best of it.
As for describing the essence of the Lord, angels and demons, he became flustered. “Oh, there’s more nuance to it. I’m afraid I haven’t explained it well enough. You see, I’ve never had to before.”
But it was Lucifer’s personal question that really came as a surprise. He glanced down at the place the Devil was looking, then quickly looked back up with his eyebrows raised high in shock. He’d never had anybody discuss private, intimate topics so brazenly. He was more accustomed to the discrete mannerisms of the past, so he didn’t know what to do with himself. A blush came to his cheeks, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. He turned his head away out of shame, but then shot a glance at Lucifer out of the corners of his eyes, secretly titillated, but then just as quickly looked away at the floor … was it out of shame, or shyness? Either way, “Th... that’s a bit of a private question, don’t you think?” he stammered. “We only just met. Besides! You’re the Devil!”
______
Wow. Lucifer had always believed his own siblings to be stiff and uptight but, Aziraphale was a step above and beyond that. He had never seen such a high level of anxiety before and none of them lacked the confidence that this one seemed to. He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to the angel to turn him into this. It was doubtful that he had been created this way. “For goodness sake, it’s not like I asked you to drop trow and show me the bloody thing.” He exclaimed in exasperation and shook his head. “It’s fine, just forget I even asked in the first place.”
He reached back into his front pocket for the flask again and took a long drink from it, emptying it entirely. “I should probably let you go, I wouldn’t want to give you a heart attack or make you spontaneously combust.”
______