"Holy shit! You guys are fuckin' nuts, man! ...hahaha, holy crap! That was, like, that was some Fast and Furious shit right there dude!"
Mid-forties. Balding, a ring of hair around the back of his head. Thick black-rimmed glasses. A pot belly covered in a long, loose Lakers jersey, with an old Army Surplus flak jacket over top. Tight white underwear that was a disturbing shade of yellow, one that neither god nor man could recognize as a color stemming from nature. Bare legs. Rubber sandals. Daniel, or 'Cobr4 Co\m/\m/and3r' as he insisted his internet friends called him, was not a person either Shamash or Tyr had picked up in their quest for justice, so much as that he had been sitting in the chariot already when they found it. Inside the thieves' den. Just sitting there, 'chilling', high off his mind and willing to share. The how or why of the situation was a story best left for another time - a time when their enemies had been dispatched and they could then share tales around a fire. For now this unusual mortal had gained their trust, his knowledge aiding them in hot-wiring the chariot in the first place.
Thick clouds of pot smoke billowed out of the now nonexistent back door as Tyr stood, ready to challenge all that would stand against them. As the chariot whirled around and several of their enemies passed by Tyr leaned hard, slicing his blade through the hood in a shower of metal and sparks. Cobr4 Co\m/\m/and3r began tugging annoyingly on his robe as the god leaned out of the car from his spot in the back seat.
"Hey man. Hey, hey dude. Hey bro, what kind of sword is that? That's a cool sword. Can I try that sword? Hey bro, c'mon. I could totally handle it. I held one of those at this Ren Fair once and it was totally wicked!" A moment later the man's attention had turned to Shamash, gripping the metal grating between the front and the back as he blew a puff of smoke through. "Hey. Hey, can I drive? Hey, c'mon, I wanna try some of that Vin Diesel stuff man! People tell me I could probably look like him if I work out some, ladies mostly. ...Hey, can you make a right here? I could go for some fucking Ihop right now. Either of you guys hungry?"
"Pull over or we'll open fire!"
The booming sound of the steel dragon from above could not be ignored. The chariots screeched and turned in their new direction, struggling to keep up with the heroes, but the dragon's cursed maneuverability ensured that they could not lose it for long. "Shamash!" Tyr screamed out, eyes wide, veins bulging at his neck, "take us higher! Take us to the dragon! I can slay it if you bring me near!"