I have no bloody clue why you're getting these because I am so not in love with you, I fancy Malcolm and definitely like having sex with blokes but maybe it's because you're smart. Malcolm's smart like that. Really, really smart. But your hair! And female bits.
Ugh. I cannot send this you'll think me a fool
I never knew about happiness; I didn’t think dreams came true; I couldn’t believe in love, Until I finally met you.