An Argument Who: Astoria and Blaise When: Wednesday Night Where: Astoria's Flat What: An argument Rating/Status: PG/Completed
After his encounter with the Dark Lord, Blaise went home to change. He couldn't help but glance at the Mark on his arm, it stood out quite a bit. He grabbed a long sleeved dress shirt and disapparrated to Astoria's door.
Blaise knocked softly and waited for Astoria to open the door. After his meeting, he needed to relax, and though Astoria wasn't expecting him, he hoped she would be happy to see him. When the door opened, Blaise offered her a smile and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "I know I should've told you I was coming. Sorry."
--
Astoria had answered the door herself. Though Colin was now technically her slave, Astoria couldn't bring herself to ask him to do anything. It was late when Blaise knocked on the door and Astoria had already changed out of her normal clothes and into a dressing gown. Her eyes widened in surprise at seeing him and offered her cheek for the kiss.
"You never need to tell me you're coming, Blaise. Please, come inside." Astoria smiled softly at him and ushered him into the flat. "Would you like something to drink?"
--
Blaise smiled at her and let her usher him in. "Please. Anything's fine." Blaise looked around after Astoria had left the room. It felt like something was different in there. Blaise took a seat on the couch and waited till she got back.
"What have you been doing these past few days?" Blaise rubbed absentmindedly at his left arm. Not only had he gotten the Mark, he'd been in such a hurry he hadn't put his pain potion on the welts from the brains.
--
Ducking into the kitchen to make tea, Astoria quietly cast a spell on Colin's door. It locked easily and she charmed it from allowing sound to come out or go in. She didn't want either of the men in her life to meet each other just yet. Especially not when she knew they would never accept each other.
Coming back out into the living room, Astoria set the tea tray down on a table. "Rehearsing mostly," she said with a smile and poured Blaise a cup of tea. "There is a large benefit in May that I'm to play at. Five different pieces all more difficult than I had anticipated." Astoria looked up at Blaise and smiled, truly happy for his surprise visit. She missed him when he wasn't with her. Reaching up, Astoria ran her fingers along his cheek. "You look tired."
--
Blaise pressed his face against her palm, closing his eyes for a second. "Ive just been working late this week. A new project." Blaise offered a smile and picked up his cup and took a sip.
"What is the benefit for?" Blaise took another sip and put the cup back down, leaning comfortably against the couch arm to watch her.
--
There were small gestures Blaise made that told Astoria he enjoyed his attention more than he said. She could tell from the way he responded to her touch. But she wouldn't push it. Astoria dropped her hand back to her lap and sat far enough away from Blaise that she wouldn't come across as needing his affection. "Raising money for St. Mungo's. They have the same benefit every year."
"I've missed you," she said quietly. "I thought perhaps after I was hurt we.. well. I know you're busy and I understand you don't always have time for me, but I'd like to see you more often."
--
"I know. I'm sorry, I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me or not. You never replied to my journal, so I wasn't..." Blaise rubbed his arm again before reaching for his cup. "I can always make time to see you, Astoria, if you want me to." He offered another smile and took a sip of his tea.
Blaise scooted closer to her and kissed her softly, his left hand finding it's way to cup her cheek.
--
"Mother would barely leave my side. And then I.. well I've been busy," she said softly, hating herself for lying to him. "But I always want to see you." Her eyes went to his arm for a moment and she opened his mouth to question him, but then his lips were against hers and Astoria forget her question. She sighed happily as he kissed her and wrapped her arms around him.
"If all your visit involve kisses like that I might have to demand one every day," she joked lightly against his lips.
--
Blaise smirked lightly, "I have absolutely no problem making myself available for you then." Blaise kissed her once more before leaning against the couch, still sitting quite close. "Were you really hurt that bad? You seemed alright when I left, just shaken." He allowed his worry to show, knowing Astoria would appreciate that he had been worried. He decided not to wonder he was worried at all in the first place, he just didn't want to lose his project.
Blaise rubbed his arm again, wishing the pain would go away. He couldn't tell if it was the welts or the mark or both, but it was very annoying and he knew Astoria would notice it eventually.
--
A few blonde tendrils fell from her loose bun as Astoria shook her head. "No, I was all right. But Mother is Mother and she wasn't going to let me rest until she was certain I was rested," Astoria laughed lightly. "You shouldn't worry about me so much, love. I'm stronger than I look." The small term of endearment had slipped out before Astoria could stop it and she looked at Blaise carefully, wondering how he would react to her being so informal and forward.
"What is wrong with your arm?" Reaching for it, Astoria unbuttoned the cuff of his sleeve and started to push the fabric back. "If it itches I have a lotion that will do wonders."
--
He smirked slightly at the term, but didn't mind. He didn't have any time to say anything, or tease her about it, before she noticed his arm. He didn't want to alarm her, so he merely covered her hand with his free one, and laced their fingers together. "Its nothing, I was working on a project and it, uh, got away from me. It's just a few welts. I have a potion at home that'll take care of it." Blaise smiled reassuredly at her, and mentally congratulated himself. He hadn't told a lie, just omitted the truth, a specialty of his.
Blaise leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Dont worry about me. I'm stronger than I look," he said softly, mimicking her words from earlier.
--
"Oh don't be so proud," she said and pushed his hands away. "Let me look at it at least. You took care of me and you should let me do the same for you." Astoria pushed the sleeve up to his elbow and...
Oh.
Her hands froze on his arm, the Dark Mark tattooed so boldly on his arm. That hadn't been there before. She would have noticed it before. Which meant it was new and Blaise.. her Blaise.. he.. Astoria felt her heart leap into her throat and she quickly retreated to the other side of the sofa. What if he knew? What if he knew she was friends with Colin? That she was kind to Colin? Looking up at Blaise with wide eyes, Astoria lost her ability to say anything.
--
Blaise started to protest, but it was too late. He froze as he watched her retreat to the other side of the sofa. He had assumed she wouldn't be happy about it, but she looked terrified.
"Astoria. I know we haven't known each other that long, but you don't need to look so scared. I'm not going to hurt you."
--
So he said. But Death Eaters weren't known for honesty, were they? She had spent her life around them. She saw what they were capable of. She saw the state Colin was in when he came to her flat and she could never look at that Mark the same way again. She knew what those people did.
Shaking her head, Astoria stood from the sofa. "No," she said. "You didn't. You couldn't have."
--
"Couldn't what? Get the Mark? Astoria, He came to me personally and tested me." He couldn't help the slight smile on his face. Despite the pain, it was an amazing feeling. "I don't understand why you're acting like this. Considering who we are, you should've known I would get it." Blaise stayed sitting, staring up at her, slightly confused and, he would never admit it, hurt. Why didn't she get what an honor it was?
--
"But I thought you were.. I thought.." Astoria had come to realize over the last few months how very wrong she was about many things. She had believed everything her parents told her, but it couldn't be true. And she had thought Blaise was a kind person, but now he was going to hurt innocent people for no reason.
"I thought you were a good person," she said sadly.
--
Blaise stood up slowly, his eyes on Astoria the whole time. "Everything you've seen about me is true. Just because I have this Mark doesn't mean I'm not a good person, and for you to say that to me...That's like someone thinking you're nothing more than a pretty blonde."
Blaise shook his head slowly. "Look, I know He's going to have me do things, things I'd rather not do, but if I have to to get what I want, than I will." He knew the Dark Lord had been angry with his honesty, but Blaise refused to outright lie. It didn't solve anything.
--
Astoria couldn't hide the hurt expression that crossed her face. A pretty blonde? She was far more than a pretty blonde. Folding her arms over her chest, Astoria watched Blaise carefully. She didn't know him well enough to trust him now. Before, yes, but now... well now he had someone in his life that mattered more than she ever would. Astoria knew that. She had seen the wives of the Death Eaters. They were always second, sometimes even third or fourth.
"You're going to have to kill people," she said plainly. "People who don't agree with Him or His ideals. And you'll have to. You'll kill whenever you're ordered to. And what happens if it's me one day? What if I.. what if you have to choose?"
--
"He would never have me kill you. You're a pureblooded witch who comes from a good family and keeps you're head down. Unless you do something wrong, why would he even be concerned with you?" Blaise rubbed his arm. This wasn't exactly fair.
"I haven't changed from the person who healed you last week. You realize I chose you over going out and fighting and proving myself to Him? Doesn't that tell you something?"
--
Unless she did something wrong. So there was a reason, albeit unlikely. There was a situation that would involve Blaise being sent to hurt her. And Astoria didn't know if he would choose her over the Dark Lord.
"You're right. You haven't changed. All I ever wanted was for you to be honest with me and you've never once mentioned you wanted to take the Mark. Not once!"
--
Blaise rubbed his eyes, he was so tired, and fighting with Astoria wasn't helping. "To be fair, you never asked." Blaise shrugged half heartedly. Considering their society, one should always either ask or assume they want the mark.
"Astoria, I would never hurt you. You have to believe me." Despite what had started as an extremely elaborate plan to hurt her, he had no intentions of it now, and he hoped that showed.
--
"I should have ASKED?!" Astoria rarely raised her voice, but she couldn't stop herself from shouting. "I generally don't ASK people if they have urges to kill others. I don't ASK the man I'm falling--" Her mouth snapped shut and Astoria turned away from Blaise. Damn. Damn him.
"Get out," she said with a tear-filled voice. "Get out right now." She didn't want him to know. If he knew just how much she cared about him then he could use it to his advantage. "Go with your stupid Death Eaters."
--
"I don't have an urge to kill others! If I could get what I wan without killing anyone, I would." Blaise's eyebrows shot up and he could stop one corner of his mouth from smiling.
But then she told him to leave. "No. You want me to leave, you'll have to push me out of here yourself. Otherwise we're talking about this. I'm not going to go home and wonder if we just became nothing." Blaise sat down on the arm of the sofa and watched Astoria patiently. He was not leaving."
--
Clenching her jaw, Astoria glared at the wall before spinning around and throwing the first thing she could find at Blaise. It happened to be a small book of poetry she was reading earlier that day. "I HATE this world. I hate that my friend was in prison for so long when he didn't do anything wrong! I hate that I've had to lock him in his room to keep him safe. And now what?! I have to tell him that my boyfriend is one of the people who want him dead?! HOW is that right!?" Astoria took a step towards the couch, her cheeks flushed with anger.
"I would never have agreed to any of this if I had known. I wouldn't have. I thought that maybe you weren't like them. That you were different, but you're not. You're worse because you made me think I.. you acted like we were special."
--
Blaise got up to avoidthe book, but it didn't make him miss what she said. She had a friend in prison, and...Blaise didn't have any time to show how shocked he was before she kept speaking.
"We are special. And I am different, trust me. I just...there are things I need to know, and he's the only one who knows, or could possibly know." Blaise looked ashamedly down at the floor. Yes, he was using the Dark Lord, but all his followers were. For power or wealth or whatever. "Did you know I can't stand the sight of blood? It makes me physically ill. I am different. I don't want to hurt people Astoria."
--
"We aren't special," she scoffed. "I'm stupid. I am. I told myself that you liked me for me and not my looks or my family or anything like that, but you can't. Because if you really cared about who I am you should have known I'd hate this. And I hate it. I don't want to see you become like them."
She couldn't accept that anyone would willingly become a Death Eater if they didn't enjoy hurting people. She wouldn't accept that. "Colin is in the other room," she said finally. "You better tell me this moment if I have to hide him away from you. If he and I have to run away because you'll tell people that we're friends."
--
Blaise sighed. And went to the door, opening it slowly and peeking in to see a form sleeping on the bed. He closed the door just as quietly and came back to the living room. "I'm not going to tell. When, if, I see the Dark Lord I'll use occulemency so he can't see Colin, that's his name right?" Blaise looked at her again, and leaned against the wall. "Im not like them. Not all of them are like what you imagine. But I'm especially not, and you should know that."
--
"You'd better not touch him. Ever. I mean it, Blaise. He.. he's my friend." Astoria bit down on her lip, incredibly worried. What was she supposed to do? She loved Blaise and he was a bad person. Or maybe he wasn't. She didn't know one way or the other.
"Do you.. how much do you care for me? You have to tell me right now before I decide if I want to see you anymore."
--
"I won't touch him." That was all he could say. It was better for all of them if he just forgot that the boy existed. Astoria's words made him look at her terrified. That was a dangerous question, one he didn't know the answer to. "I..."
Blaise sighed. "I don't know. I know I want you to keep seeing me. I don't want you to be upset with me, and when the Dark Lord looked in my mind earlier, you were the first thing He saw. You were the first thing I thought of." Blaise shrugged, not willing to admit that was falling for her, but he didn't want to lose her.
--
That wasn't an answer. Or, at the least, it wasn't the answer she'd been wanting to hear. How was she supposed to trust Blaise when he didn't know how he felt about her? How was she supposed to be confident that he wouldn't hurt her if he couldn't even say how he felt.
"Yeah. I get it." Astoria refused to reach up and wipe her eyes which had somehow filled with tears. "I think you should leave now. I don't want to talk to you anymore right now." Honestly, she wasn't sure how much longer she could stand there without sobbing like a fool.
--
Blaise sighed. She didn't get it. The fact that he had even told her that said that he liked her more than he felt he should. Just because he couldn't say it, identify it, didn't mean that it wasn't strong.
Blaise took a step toward her, knowing enough to not try to touch her. "I don't know what answer you wanted, but I meant what I said. This is new to me, Astoria." He hesitated for a second before going and opening the door. "You should give him another blanket. He looked cold." Blaise glanced at her one more time before leaving, his happiness gone and his arm still throbbing.