Logan (damnhardtokill) wrote in commandhq, @ 2018-05-16 22:10:00 |
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Ben knew a thing about being bored and he knew just how terribly things would go if he let that boredom fester so rather than letting it get to that point he'd ventured into the garage and asked the cute redhead if he could help out. Thankfully he'd agreed, Noah was his name, and Ben soon had his hands in familiar places. In the engine of a car and with grease all over them. This he knew, this he understood, and it was good to just be able to do something that didn't involve feeling completely powerless at the fucked up situation he'd landed in a few years back all because he'd taken a bleeding holiday. Limbo was different from South Dakota and he still hadn't figured out if that was a good or bad thing just yet, he still needed to get to know a lot more people before he could make a decision either way. Still, it had a garage and somebody willing to let him help out which was a huge tick in the box for him. Since Ben had arrived in Limbo, Riley had done a stellar job of avoiding him. He'd almost run into him twice but had averted the crisis at the last minute and had started trading favours like cigarettes in prison, sending people out to get food for him at lunch and dinner so that he didn't have to go into the canteen and risk running into Ben. But he had checked on the guy and he looked good which was just distinctly unfair considering it had been six years and Riley was still - as Matt would say - a hot mess about the whole thing. And everything else, to be honest. Avoidance had been his key strategy. Thank god his meeting with Dr Popov had been okay and he had a full prescription again. It was, however, utterly inevitable that he would end up running into Ben at some point. He had just hoped it would be later rather than sooner. The guy needed to settle in, the guy needed to get used to the place. Ben needed to just... be and not be reminded of a time that was painful for them both. And Riley? Riley was struggling to deal with it and genuinely had been looking into transferring back to another base just to avoid it. Yeah. He was the master of healthy coping mechanisms. Avoidance was his thing. So when he walked into the garage with sandwiches for himself and Noah, only to be greeted by the back of someone's head - long blonde hair and a form he recognised (and would if he went blind) that sent his brain into a tailspin - he sort of froze on the spot by the door. Noah wasn't around, and Noah had been the person he'd been coming to visit. So he could just leave. Just... back up and leave. That was his plan, of course it failed miserably when he turned to go and caught his arm on a toolbox that shouldn't have been as precariously balanced as it was - who did that? - and sent it clattering to the floor. Ben was thankfully pretty difficult to scare so when the sudden clattering sound erupted from behind him he didn't jerk back or he might have hit his head though as he turned his head and came face to face with somebody he didn't think he would ever see again he was suddenly wishing rather vehemently for a concussion. That was Riley, the very same Riley Hunter to whom he'd been married to and lost because of his own very stupid decisions, and almost instantly it felt like his throat was made out of sandpaper. Balls. Well clearly somebody needed to say something and judging by the deer caught in headlights look on Riley's face it wasn't going to be the other man. Ben inhaled and picked up a nearby rag to clean off his hands as he turned to face Riley. "Hi mate, long time no see." Not his best but least it was better than nothing. Hi mate, long time no see? Those were the first words out of Ben's mouth? That was what he chose to say? Riley knew that the prefix was just a thing they said. It didn't mean anything, but at the same time he wished that his stomach didn't flop over on itself. Ben didn't look like he'd changed all that much. A little older, maybe, and he needed a hair cut and a shave but the look suited him. Seeing him now was like a punch to the stomach; a super - evo - stuck in the Regiment, trapped and forced to serve a country that wasn't even his. "Give us a heart attack, why don't you," he grumbled, putting the bag down on the counter and crouching to start picking up the tools he'd knocked when the toolbox had been unceremoniously shoved to the floor by his elbow. It was a good distraction - were his hands shaking? Shit, he needed a cigarette - from looking at Ben. Christ, how was that even remotely fair, how good he looked. Singledom was fitting him well, it would seem. Jesus Christ. "Long time," he agreed, finally looking up at Ben again, "the fuck happened to you?" Ben wasn't the only one looking good for all the years and distance. Riley had cut his hair but it suited him, really suited him, and his sense of style was looking a lot more dapper than it had when they were younger. Clearly leaving Newcastle and Ben behind was the best thing that could have happened to him. Go figure. Not that Ben was surprised, he'd always felt like it had been too good to be true and he hadn't really deserved the other man. "Got powers like," he drawled as he placed the rag to one side and moved his hands to either side where he just curled them around the metal he was currently leaned up against. "Real champion thing to find out on my one and only holiday outta the UK." Nevermind how he'd discovered them, less said the better. He cleared his throat. "Course could say the same about yous." Riley had to stop his eyes from drifting down to Ben's hands, where they were curled around the metal. He swallowed, dragged his wandering gaze away and focused on picking up the tools, stuffing them awkwardly back into the box. They were haphazardly put in there, askew and wonky and not at all fitting in as nicely as they had done but it had to do; Riley didn't know how to put that shit back together so cobbled it was. He rubbed the side of his neck as he stood up again, folding his arms across his chest and leaning his hip against the counter. "Never did like making life easy for yourself, did you," he told Ben with a roll of his eyes. Clearing his throat, he pushed aside his concern or at least he tried to. It didn't work, the question spilled out of him like water from a leaky bucket. "Are you okay, like? The treated you well in the other facility? And here, your handler being fair enough with you?" Ben ducked his head to hide an affectionate smile at how Riley failed quite miserably in putting the tools back into the box, he'd fix it later. "Aye, life's a real treat right now." He pushed a breath out of his suddenly tight chest and felt a need to fidget so to avoid that he lifted his hands and replicated Riley's stance of arms across the chest. "I have naught to complain about," Ben assured Riley. "Mebbies except for the fact I'm here in the first place but you know it is what it is, mind." Unable to keep his hands still Ben reached up to scrub his hand through his hair. "And yous?" "It is what it is," Riley echoed quietly, chewing the inside of his cheek before lifting one hand to his mouth, teeth latching around the edge of his thumb. "Aye, 'm alright." He was a handler, other than having some people on his team who were... interesting to work with and his partner who was bordering on becoming an alcoholic due to his ex fiancee turning up right after his brother died and his whole family seemed to sort of implode, Riley really had nothing to complain about. "Goverment job turned into something else, ended up working here." His words were a little muffled by his thumb, but it was easier to bite that than the inside of his mouth. God, he wished he could go out for a cigarette. "Couplea years in Maine, recently came here meself." He could hear his accent getting thicker just by being around Ben. It had almost gone save for a few twangs here and there. Just seeing Ben's face a few weeks back had been enough to make it start creeping back, and now he could hear it. He cleared his throat. "I- uh, brought some food. You wanna eat lunch with us?" He stopped himself asking 'or are we not there, yet?' because he wasn't about to make this a bigger thing than it needed to be. Other than being captured, Ben seemed to be fine. Better than fine. "If you'd rather be alone, mind, I can just leave it." Ben's eyes dropped to where Riley's teeth caught around the edge of his thumb and he could feel his hands itching to reach out to pull it away because he knew that was a nervous habit. Some things never changed regardless of time or space it would seem. Thankfully he had more self control than he had all those years ago and despite his body screaming at him to go over, close the distance, he refrained. "Yous wanna be careful," he gestured to the thumb. "Nae good hurting yourself." He only looked fine because Ben was good at pretending, he'd mastered the art at a very young age after all, had to with his mother. "Wouldn't want to intrude, you know. Noah'll be back soon, said something about needing tae get a drink. Guess he didn't know yous was coming with lunch." "If Noah's left now," Riley pointed out, dropping his hand away from his mouth and glancing at his thumb, rubbing it with his other hand like that would soothe the sudden sting that came with it, "'s likely that he's gone tae lunch with someone else." He shrugged. "Was gonna surprise him, like, so it'll just go to waste if I wait." He shifted, eyes darting to the floor and he visibly swallowed. It might not have been a flat out rejection but it kind of felt like it. "Honestly, it's not gonna be an intrusion." His lips quirked up into a smile that was nothing short of self-deprecating, "Unless the idea of eating lunch with a handler is that unappealing." Handler. Not him. Riley wasn't quite that pathetic. But it was close. The more he looked at Ben, the more he saw an edge of something in his eyes, and he wanted to stay because he felt like needed to see more, to understand. And honestly, it was Ben. What else was he supposed to do? "Dinnae say that," Ben replied with a shake of his head. "I can always eat." Which wasn't a lie, Ben was quite the blackhole when it came to food. He did find himself wondering if Riley was intending to surprise Noah with lunch because they were friends or something more. Not that he had any place to judge. Riley was a free man after all, to do what he wanted and with whoever he wanted. "So yous wanna share not going to complain." He pushed away from the car he was currently leaning against and wandered over to the nearby sink to wash his hands because grease was a persistent fucker. Riley chuckled, "Nice to know some things never change," he commented, picking up the bag from where he'd left it and moved a little closer, normally confident footsteps faltering a bit but he was immeasurably glad that Ben's back was to him. He just took the moment to try and pull his shit together because come on. "Here's hoping youse have the same taste in sandwiches." Ben had never really been that picky, so the subs that Riley had nabbed from the canteen were likely fine. He'd gone for innocuous flavours anyway, cheese and ham, chicken salad, BLT... Noah could eat enough for a small army, Riley had learned that the hard way the first time they'd had lunch together and halfway through he'd caught Noah eyeing the rest of his lunch. He set up on the small, round table not too far from where Ben had been working on a car and definitely didn't watch the guy's back as he washed his hands. He allowed himself a glance and then he busied himself with pulling out the five subs he'd brought, and the sodas that came along with it. And a fruit juice for himself. Ben was in the middle of drying his hands when he noticed just how much food Riley had brought with him and arched an eyebrow. "Who yous been feeding?" It was an impressive spread, almost enough to rival what a friend back home would put on whenever she had guests over. It was a Northern thing or so she used to say. Ben just figured she enjoyed feeding people. "Small army?" He put aside the towel he'd been using to dry his hands and moved over to take a seat at the small table. He tried not to 'manspread' but it just sort of happened without Ben realising it. "Yous on a diet or something?" He asked when it became clear that the fruit juice was for Ben. It was either that or he'd gone all healthy in the last few years in contrast to the Riley of days gone past who would happily tuck into a good old chippy dinner. Ben took a hold of a soda and cracked into it because no thank you to fruit juice. Riley laughed, the sound warm and rich. "Noah's the only other person I've ever met that eats like you," he shared. "First time we sat down for lunch he'd finished his food in thirty seconds, like, and was eyeing up mine. He hoovers up leftovers like no one I've ever seen." When Ben spread out, his foot knocked into Riley's. There was a time when that would have resulted in a knock back, a small footsie game happening under the table before they ended up stopping because they were laughing too much. Now, though, Riley stayed where he was for a moment before he nudged Ben's foot lightly and then shifted, tucking his feet under his chair, taking up less room. "Mate, just 'cause I've got us a fruit juice to have with me lunch doesn't mean I'm on a health kick. I'll have a soda later, mebbe." He unscrewed the juice and lifted a shoulder. "Help yourself," he said, though he'd put the BLT closer to Ben because he knew that was one of his favourites. "Bet that's something tae see," Ben said with a smirk. He'd never really met anyone who eat the same amount as him, but the more he thought about his "powers" the more it began to make sense. At the open invitation he collected up the BLT which Riley had thankfully put close enough to him to grab it easily enough and Ben took the first bite. It was in that moment he realised just how hungry he had been and hadn't realised. And he tried not to look like he froze when he felt his foot knocked into Riley's but he totally did especially as he had no idea how it would be received, but thankfully Riley nudged his foot back so Ben let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. "Aye, good tae know. Wouldn't want tae think you'd turned into a health freak these last couple of years." Riley spotted the freeze, brief as it was. He saw how Ben's fingers tightened slightly around the sandwich and how his eyes widened slightly at the edges. He found he caught his own breath, not sure if it was because their feet had touched or if it was because Riley had nudged him. Either way, he was glad that he'd retreated. Been the one to pull back. He wet his lower lip and pulled the chicken salad closer to himself, tearing the baguette in two and then pulling a piece off. "As if," he muttered around a small mouthful of food. "My diet is still a fucking mess, mate, no need to worry about that. Only thing I don't do anymore is drink." Because it screwed with his medication and sleeping was more important than the buzz that came with alcohol. He swallowed, watching Ben sort of inhale a quarter of the sandwich. His lips curled up into an affectionate smile that he hadn't noticed, so it wasn't hidden or obscured. "Jeez, Benji, when was the last time you ate?" "Fair enough," Ben muttered with a nod of his head. He however had not given up alcohol. In fact his reliance on it had quadrupled in recent years and as much as he hated to admit it he was probably starting to rival his mother's level of dependence. He was just higher functioning than she'd ever been. He was halfway through his sandwich when Riley brought up the fact he'd basically decimated it and inbetween bites and chews he lifted his shoulders before as he swallowed he returned. "Not that long ago, just hungry like." Wasn't a lie, he was normally hungry a lot of the time. And he had noticed the smile but didn't get his hopes up because of everything that had happened. Riley snorted and shook his head. It was so reassuring that some things never changed; Ben's appetite being one of them. So much about Riley had changed that sometimes he felt like he was a stranger to himself. Maybe he wasn't, but sometimes he looked at himself in the mirror and didn't even know who he was. He rubbed the back of his neck, picking at the sandwich again. "Pretty sure you might wanna think about keeping some snacks or summat in here," he said, "But hide them from Noah. He's like a bloodhound for food." He took a sip of his fruit juice and then found himself eyeing it distastefully. He reached for a soda a second later and cracked the Sprite open, eyes meeting Ben's and his eyebrow quirked, as did his lips, as it hissed open. He drew in a breah. "So, you finding it okay here?" "Yous gonna eat that or pick it tae death?" Ben asked, eyebrow lifted as he watched Riley closely. Thankfully he did have a certain distaste of fruit juice and had now turned to the Sprite so that was something, but the picking thing? That was weird. Really weird. He demolished what remained of his sandwich and sat back to take a slow sip of his soda, shifting to better brace his back against the rest of the chair. "Aye, another facility, another handler, naught to moan 'bout." Riley ducked his head, clearly embarrassed at having been called out on his eating habits. No one ever did that, but he supposed no one knew him from before. Honestly, no one knew him like Ben. He was glad his head was ducked; he could feel his expression twisting a little. He rubbed his hand over his face and his thumb was caught between his teeth for a moment before he caught himself and dropped it. "Just a slow eater, mate," he said, though they both knew that was bullshit. He pushed another sandwich in Ben's direction, considering there was hardly even any crumbs left. "So quit eyin' it up. I'm gonna eat it." He wrinkled his nose, looking at Ben through his lashes before lifting his head properly, not looking at how the shirt pulled, how Ben sat in the chair, how he - as he always had done - just commanded the space around himself. Fuck. "You know if you have any problems, you can come to me, right? I mean, about your handler or whatever. I don't know her but... y'know." "Uh huh," Ben returned, seemingly unconvinced by the not so convincing argument that Riley was a slow eater. It was eat or have your food be eaten when they'd grown up. "Yous better." He looked good sure but he also looked thinner, but then Riley had never been a meaty guy so any loss of weight was even more noticeable and Ben noticed. The second sandwich was collected up because no point food going to waste. He sipped at his soda. "I'll be sure tae remember that but I'll be alright. Big boy after all." Besides he didn't want to bother Riley, not when it was clear he had something good going here. Odd choice of a careeer, but he wasn't in any position to judge. Riley snorted, "I will, like, just 'cause youse cannot imagine savouring food and just wanna inhale it like a hoover doesn't mean the rest of us don't like tae," he teased, knocking Ben's foot under the table again without even thinking about the action. He swallowed afterwards though, looking like he was going to apologise for getting carried away in the moment. He picked up his drink and lifted a shoulder. "'snot a problem, Ben," he said, "Wanna make sure you're looked after, like. If I can help with that I want to." Ben rolled his eyes at the remark from Riley though he did notice the way the other man just froze and he could tell he had a split second of indecision over to handle it. Thankfully he opted for not making a big deal out of it and he did what Riley had done earlier in their conversation, knocked his foot back in return. "Alright," he said with a simple nod his head. "I'll have tae remember that, but it's all good, promise." And he was about to say something else when Noah suddenly appeared in his peripheral, looking very much like a deer caught in headlights. "Shit, sorry," Noah shot out. "I didn't mean to interrupt." Ben shook his head. "S'alright, mate. Your working space after all." Riley ducked his head when Ben knocked his foot, attempting to hide how his face broke out in a smile at the returned gesture. He wasn't sure if he was quick enough, but he pushed his hand through his hair and cleared his throat when there was a voice from behind them. He turned in the chair and grinned at Noah. "Found a better use for your lunch anyway, mate," he said, getting to his feet, not even a quarter of his sandwich eaten. "Youse both can finish the rest of these if you'd like." He pocketed his fruit juice and swept his can up into his hands. "If Ben doesn't beat you to what's left, that is." He made no move to hug Noah, nothing other than looking like he was pleased - if not slightly irritated, in a very subtle manner - to see someone he called a friend. "Should probably get going anyway," he said, meeting Ben's eyes for a moment and he wasn't even sure that he wanted to leave. But he should. He really should. "Let youse get back to work." Despite his best efforts Ben had caught Riley's smile though again he stamped down on whatever small hope that might have generated as Riley was a genuinely nice guy so it shouldn't be a surprise to Ben that he was willing to be congenial. "Good thing I've already eaten then," Noah remarked with a pointed look in Riley's direction. Of course as both Noah and Riley interacted Ben was watching and it was during this interaction he concluded that there were no romantic feelings or even in the trouser feelings happening. And he didn't at all feel relieved. Nope. Not him. "Aye, wouldn't wanna keep youse from work or something." "God forbid," Noah echoed with a toothy grin. Riley pulled an 'I don't know what you're talking about' face when Noah levelled him with a pointed look, partly because he didn't know what it was that Noah was looking at him for and partly because whatever the reason behind the look he was sure that it wasn't warranted. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and lifted his shoulders. "I'm begining to get the feeling that youse two being friends is gonna be the death of me." He swallowed and glanced at the door, then rocked up onto his toes like a kid that really didn't want to leave but knew they had to. "Don't let the rest of that go to waste, like." Not warranted? Never mind the fact he was just ever so casually sharing lunch with his ex-husband, the very same one that he'd divorced because of the whole cheating scandal. Ben seemed like a cool guy but Noah was a good friend who didn't let his friends make dumb decisions because they weren't quite over their ex. "We won't," Noah assured him. "Marine's honour." Ben snorted quietly at Noah's remark and then promptly helped himself to another sandwich, demonstrating just how the food wouldn't go to waste. The reason behind the look clicked a moment later and Riley just ducked his head a little and pushed a hand through his hair before returning it to his pockets. "Okay, 'cause they're good today. Mira and the team outdid themselves." He glanced at Ben, watching him for a moment and opening his mouth to say something before he gestured with a thumb over his shoulder. "I- uh- yeah. Youse two have fun now." He wet his lower lip and turned on his heel to leave, knocking into another counter as he did though this time he caught the paint-pot before it fell all over the floor. He glanced back at Ben, the look on his face warning him not to even think about laughing and then he, in effect, scuttled out of the garage. As soon as he did, though, he slumped against the wall and pressed his hands to his face. Fuck. He needed a cigarette. It wouldn't help his racing heartbeat, but it might make him feel a little better about the fact that fucking Benwas here, and that Ben still looked... like Ben. |