Chloe Deacon (chargedphase) wrote in commandhq, @ 2018-04-27 18:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | chloe deacon, kelly deacon, p: mena, p: squid |
Who: Chloe & Kelly Deacon
What: 🎶 Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters 🎶
When: 18th April, early evening
Where: Chloe's room
Rating: PG
Chloe looked away from the computer and pressed her head into her hands. She and Kelly had stopped swapping messages over the network a little while back and whilst she knew that she hadn’t been totally successful in derailing her sister from wanting to spend time with her she kind of hoped that she’d at least go off on a tour or something first. The knock at her door told her that had been too damn much to hope for.
Honestly, she was glad her sister was here- it made her feel less alone. But at the same time it was one more thing she had to feel guilty about. Kelly had been free, a big-shot lawyer at home doing cases that helped people, she made a difference in the world and she’d never once been caught using her powers. She’d kept them hidden so well that no one even knew. And then she threw all of that away for what? For her? Chloe wasn’t worth that. She might have been before, but she wasn’t now.
Not after the accident.
Not after she saved herself and left Louis in the car to-
Her throat closed up that familiar tightness that was second nature to her now. The tightness that hung around her neck like a noose. She was constantly on the edge of crying even though she was pretty sure she had nothing left in her to cry out. After all, she’d done nothing but cry for three weeks.
“J-Just a second,” she responded, drawl wrapping around her vowels as she pushed her hair back out of her face and got up from the chair in her room. She pushed it under the desk and in a hurry looked to make sure there was nothing out of place in her room, nothing that would make it look like she wasn’t okay. She stuck her foot in the trash can to squish down the tissues that were there and turned her pillow over so that the slight damp spot from an early session hugging it and hating on the world - and herself.
She might have arrived only a few days ago but she’d only left her room when Susie came over to force her out to eat something, otherwise, she’d been holed up, leaving to shower and use the bathroom and out once a day with Susie to get some food. She just didn’t want to do anything or see anyone. She felt heartbroken, even more so now that she knew that she’d not killed her brother and ruined her family’s life but she’d ruined Kelly’s life too. Everything Kelly had going for her, just… gone.
She wiped a hand under her eyes and took a breath, pushing past the tightness in her throat and chest and tugged on her hoodie, zipping it up and not bothering to free her curls from where they’d become trapped under the collar.
As she opened the door, it had only been about six weeks since she’d last seen her sister - Chloe had stayed close to home for college and not moved out so Kelly came to family dinners all the time - but it felt like a lifetime and it was really really hard not to break down as soon as her eyes fell on her big sister and that look Kelly had on her face.
Her life was spiralling.
Not in a terrible fashion, although dealing with the grief of losing Louis had taken a sharp back seat once she’d discovered what had happened to Chloe. It was a lot for one family to take, and Kelly did feel horrible for dumping it on her parents at the same time, but she knew that Charlie could handle it, and she could tap in Matt or Scott (if he could get away) whenever it got too much.
But that was how she viewed it; mom and dad would have Charlie and Matt, they’d be able to hold each other up. Be there to support through the painful milestones to come. Deal with the grief and pain. But Chloe wouldn’t have that. It’d been hard enough to find out where Chloe was, and Kelly had tapped in numerous sources and contacts in the justice system.
By the time Kelly had gotten a hold of the hospital, Chloe had already been moved. And tracking that had been a nightmare that left her at her wit's end. Finding out what had happened, the assumption on how Chloe survived became very much apparent, and then Kelly had to apologise to Rockfort for almost shocking him -the cat looked terrible after a static charge.
It was like a whirlwind. Going from Atlanta to Washington, having the implant installed -and boy did she ever have to bite her tongue against that procedure and how inhumane it all was. It everything was worth it, it was all for this, right now. She was patient as she knocked on Chloe’s door -on her floor, just along the all, opposite ends of the suite.
When the door opened, Kelly smiled in relief, because even in here, locked up and pulled away from everything, she was just so glad to finally see her baby sister again. “Hey, baby girl.” It wasn’t a nickname she’d used in a long time, not since Chloe felt she’d outgrown it, but it seemed like the years had fallen away, and Chloe was the little eight-year-old that Kelly had to protect from the world.
“Too big for a hug?” Because Kelly just wanted to wrap her up and keep her safe right then.
Chloe didn’t move for a moment as she just stared at Kelly on the other side of the threshold. She wanted to close the door again, lean against it and block out the world, sink through the floor until she found somewhere she could hide but then Kelly opened her mouth, called her a nickname she hadn’t heard for years and something in her chest just broke.
She didn’t respond, just stepped forward and face planted into her big sister, wrapping her arms around Kelly’s waist, even as her fingers twisted in her shirt, clutching to her as if Kelly were the only port in a storm. It took less than ten seconds for her shoulders to hitch along with her breathing and she mumbled, thick and broken and choked with barely suppressed tears, “I’m so sorry.”
The solid weight hitting her didn’t stop Kelly wrapping her arms around her little sister, squeezing her tightly and just taking the minute to breath. Chloe was safe -relatively speaking- and Kelly could keep her that way now. “Aw honey,” there was so much welled up inside them, both of them, the whole family right now, and Kelly wasn’t putting the grief to one side, not entirely, but she was sure that Chloe was battling through more than grief right then too, “so am I. I was so worried about you.”
There had been countless questions and vague answers in the days following the accident, and even after the investigation was closed and they were allowed to bury Louis, they had no further information about Chloe, other than authorities were looking into it.
Rocking slightly on the spot, content to let Chloe soak up however much she needed, Kelly gave the back of her head a small stroke, “I’m here now though, and I’ve got you, okay? I’ve got you.” Come hell or high water.
“I’m- it- I-” Chloe couldn’t even form words, she just clutched at Kelly and focused on not phasing through her sister; the already shaky self-taught control she had over her powers was faltering since she’d arrived. Three weeks with them turned off in prison had meant that her constant control was a struggle again, having to remember to stay solid while she was constantly a mess.
She squeezed her eyes closed and took in a deep breath, feeling her fingers tingling a little so she focused on trying to keep it together.
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” she managed, hiccupping between her words, “I- Wait- Why are you apologising?” Chloe leaned back, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her hoodie as she looked up at her sister, confusion at the sort of reciprocated apology briefly derailing her thoughts.
She sniffed, rubbing at her eyes again with her sleeve, “Why- but you shouldn’t have- I mean, you didn’t need to come here, Kelly, you- that- I- I’m so sorry.” And she was, for everything. Right now, she felt like she didn’t deserve an amazing older sister who turned herself in.
Kelly could almost feel Chloe struggling to stay together, not just emotionally. She recognised the battle for control, for maintaining that thin grasp on powers that could overwhelm. She toyed, briefly, with the idea of trying to help calm Chloe, just enough pheromones to sedate her a little, just to chill and calm her. But she didn’t want to numb the effects that Chloe would need to deal with, to give her any kind of crutch to get too used to.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner, that I couldn’t get through all the red tape and hoops to see you.” By the time they figured out something wasn’t right, and Kelly made a few calls she couldn’t find Chloe at all, and then she was told Chloe had admitted to causing the whole thing, implication flying that she’d meant to do it. Which she was sure, anyone who knew Chloe would never believe. “I should’ve been there when you needed me, and I couldn’t be. And I’m sorry for that.”
She had been with Charlie and Mom, she’d had Scott to wrap her in a hug, Charlie to lean on and cry with. Chloe hadn’t been able to take comfort with them. Not even at the funeral. And how difficult that would become, Chloe not even getting that kind of closure from things.
“Listen, I did what I wanted to do, that’s not anything you need to carry. I choose to turn myself in, to tell them what I am. I did that. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. I lied so that we would all be together, but now things are different and I made a new choice.” Kelly brought her hands up, cupping Chloe’s cheeks in her hands, “I will not leave you on your own, not ever again, okay?” And it would take some time, Kelly knew that, but she’d need to make sure that Chloe knew that she in no way, shape or form, held Chloe responsible for Louis’ death either.
“I lied too,” Chloe hiccupped, lifting her hands to curl them around Kelly’s wrists and squeezing. The touch was grounding, something to focus on so she didn’t just disappear through the floor. Honestly, the thought had been there; to just disappear when Kelly turned up. It would have been very easy to avoid her sister in a place like this, even if they were on the same team. “I didn’t wanna get taken away. Ain’t like it did me much good though, right?”
She gave a weak smile and then withdrew, tugging her sleeves down over her hands so she could dab at her face. She felt like she looked dreadful; eyes red-rimmed and cheeks pink. Her hair was a mess too but at least that was in a ponytail and out of her face. She was glad Kelly didn’t ask about the accident, she supposed they had more pressing concerns than something that had happened a month ago, and it was on the tip of her tongue to ask about everyone else, about their momma and dad. About Scott and Matt and Charlie. But she didn’t.
“One of these days y’all gonna have to stop tryna protect me,” she drawled, trying to lighten the mood a bit because she hated the way that Kelly looked concerned like she knew Chloe would break apart in seconds. She’d been doing an admirable job of hiding just how broken she felt; Susie knew because she’d comforted her on the nights when Chloe had just laid on the cot in her cell and sobbed. But she hadn’t wanted anyone else to know, she hadn’t wanted sympathy or understanding because, accident or not, everything that unfolded was her fault. Everything that happened to Kelly - even though she said she’d made her choice - was Chloe’s fault.
She sniffed, hands still hidden by her top. “Here’s hopin’ neither of us gets transferred.”
“Well, that’s not ever going to happen? What’s a big sister for if not to look out for you?” Which she’d do, no matter what, even if Chloe was less than accommodating in helping her do it. Kelly was the patient sort, and she knew how to help people even when they weren’t really looking to be helped for whatever reason.
“I dare them to try.” She was making the effort to not expose all of her powers -they got to know three of them, the ones the figured they could use without compromising her integrity with what they wanted. “I don’t care how special they think they are, or what authority they have.” Of course, there was the possibility it would happen, but they’d soon realise how uncooperative Kelly could be if they took her away from Chloe -she’d be the best example of well behaved super powered lackey they wanted, so long as they didn’t take her from Chloe.
“So, are we sitting down and not moving, or going for a wander in this fucking maze of a place -and if you tell mom I swore in front of you, I will deny it.” It was an automatic thing, just throwing it out there -Charlie said it to Kelly all the time, despite the fact that they were in their thirties and pushing forty for Charlie. Mom still hated whenever they cussed.
Chloe shrugged. From what she’d seen when she’d read back on the network, transfers were often and quick and no one had any say in them. In fact, it was one day there, the next day gone it seemed. Just whooshed away overnight. She supposed that was what happened in top secret, utterly illegal government facilities, though.
She rubbed her hand over her face, the timing just right so that when Kelly mentioned their mom it hid the slight flinch to her expression. She knew if they just stayed still, Kelly would end up making her talk about her feelings, or something equally painful that would make her literally sink through the floor. So wandering about aimlessly would be preferable.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, she managed to fix Kelly with a look that included a characteristically Deacon-like arched brow. “Pretty sure I can’t tell momma anything right now even if I wanted to tattle on you,” she pointed out, checking she had her shoes on before she shrugged. “We can go out? Gotta take a wander around this place, see if I can remember what Jay showed me when we did it the other day. Ain’t gonna do us no good sittin’ in here.”
Wandering around would be stem off any serious conversations for a little while, but Kelly would still be able to gauge how Chloe was really doing. She just needed to try and keep as much of the conversation as light as possible. “Hey, I take no chances.” There was probably a way to get something out to someone -Kelly wasn’t sure if Chloe knew that Scott was apparently around, although he seemed to either be uncharacteristically quiet, or he was in shock. Holly would sort that, and Holly could possibly check on their parents if one or both of them asked.
“Well, I could do with wandering, stretch my legs a bit.” Enough that she wouldn’t want to climb any walls as much. “I should try and work out where things are too. If we’re hungry after, we can grab a little something to eat.” She wasn’t going to force Chloe, but she’d been keeping a close watch on how the youngest Deacon was doing. “God knows I can always eat.” Metabolism being what it was.
“I had a tour couplea days ago when I got here,” Chloe responded, “I can at least remember how to get to the shop and the cafeteria place.” She wrapped her hoodie around herself and glanced at her room, looking massively uncomfortable at the thought of leaving the sanctity of her room but she knew she couldn’t hide away forever. Especially now that Kelly was here. Susie, at least, appreciated that Chloe wasn’t feeling as social as she might have been.
She indicated that Kelly should follow her through the door, but instead of opening it, she walked right through it. They might not have discussed their powers, but since she was feeling particularly intangible right now it at least saved half of the awkward conversation that she knew would follow at some point.
“You comin’, Kell?” she asked from the other side of the door, and little thought it was, her smile could be heard in her voice.
There was a slight smirk on Kelly’s face as Chloe stepped through the door. The kid was at least showing off a little then, not just curling into herself to try and vanish. It was something, at least, that was good.
Opening the door, just giving Chloe a look, “Nice move,” it did explain a thing or two, if Chloe was able to pass through solid objects, it made sense that she wasn’t largely injured in the accident. Not that Kelly was going to bring it up. “Lead the way, and maybe we could use actual doorways and corridors? Because unlike you, I’m fully solid, all the time.”
Chloe smiled a little, ignoring the little bit of her that was internally rejoicing at having had a compliment about her powers. It was something only Louis had done and even then he’d largely given her stick for not being able to control it.
She reached out when Kelly joined her and took hold of her sister’s hand.
“I got you,” she said, tugging gently. “This way.”