Terra Cruze (terraza) wrote in colosseum, @ 2014-04-14 02:18:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! 57th games, - capitol, victor: 38th terraza cruze |
WHO: Terraza Cruze [D6]
WHAT: Terra loses a tribute.
WHEN: BACKDATED to Day 7
WHERE: Capitol
WARNINGS: sads, talk of addiction
STATUS: Complete narrative
She was out when it happened. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew how useless it was, looking for sponsors when his injury was so far gone, but if there was anything she was good at it was fooling herself. Perception was an art form she had down to a science, a paradox that only in her mind was more natural than reality. That was what addiction was, after all, the ability to create a lie so stronger it engulfed her entire being. Even sober she could weave tales easier than breathing if she wasn't careful, needing to stack new sandbags each day to push back the flood of herself. But the only thing Terra was consciously aware of now was the panic, the feeling in her chest like she was drowning when she thought too much about it. It crept down through her fingers, shaky hands clutching at the chair next to her, at her chest. Feet stumbling as a wave of dizziness passed, and suddenly the people around her were too much, they were useless anyway, their money couldn't save Shift, not anymore, there was nothing the Capitolites were good for. They stared at her as she ran outside, a hoarse scream escaping her lips the moment the door of the restaurant swung shut behind her. She could see some of them watching, heads peering out the windows at her, excited to see the anguish of a mentor whose tribute died up close, taking pictures on their phones to send to their friends, but Terra felt no shame. No, that emotion had died in her long ago, and all she could feel was confusion at how they could be going on with their lives as the world crashed down around her. Shift wasn't even her brother, but that didn't mean he wasn't family. Miles was everything; could they not see — Of course they could. The people in the window, they encouraged it. They delighted in this. The anger she felt at the Reaping, not only for Shift but for Maizy's nephew, the pain of that fire searing a hole inside her chest, eating her from the inside out. She was crouched down now, hands on her ears and greasy dark hair brushing against the concrete below her, head pressed up against her knees. She was a child again, a fifteen year old crying in the bathroom of a train car, searching for a safe place to climb into and hide until the nightmare was over, but knowing she couldn't escape it. She needed to go. She needed She needed to find Miles. |