olympia (nagina) wrote in colosseum, @ 2014-01-13 20:46:00 |
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Achilles was ready to get married. He cared for Despoina and wanted to share his life with her, share his time in District One with her. It fit and it made sense, and even if he never saw it in his future until very recently, he knew without a doubt it was his future. The sun was low in the sky, his signal to leave his dressing room and make his way outside for their sunset ceremony. When he opened the door, he was surprised to find Olympia, poised to knock, on the other side. He stepped back and said her name. He smiled. "I didn't think I'd see you until after the ceremony. I'm glad you came." She shouldn’t be meeting the groom before his marriage. Everyone knew that doing that wasn’t exactly protocol. Especially given the fact that Olympia had been more than just a friend and fellow Victor with Achilles. And yet, here she was. She hadn’t been contented to wait outside, to simply wait with everyone else. She should have-- everyone here she knew in one way or another, and all of them were excited and happy. Olympia had been one of them, buying gifts for the couple, waiting on the days to come… but seeing everyone there gathered up, waiting just struck a nerve. So she had ducked away from her family, one hand still clutching the wrapped up package and made her way to find Achilles Just to find him, nothing else. Maybe to say congratulations or to make a joke. She did feel happy for him-- a Victor finding love, finding someone to settle with was a good thing. It’s only underscored by the smile on his face, and the way he said her name. Olympia lowers her hand and says, smile only partially honest, “I’m glad to see you too before everyone gets to descend on you. I think you must’ve invited half the district here-- that or you didn’t and they came over anyway.” Her smile was much more genuine, simply because it was true. “Not nervous, are you?” He was pretty sure that they came anywhere, not that he could blame them. A victor getting married was a big deal. Even the Capitol was interested in this. Achilles was used to the attention, but his family was not. Neither was Despoina, which had made the last few days of preparations difficult and stressful. Once it was over, things would be better. "Nervous?" he echoed. "Hardly. What's there to be nervous about? Once you've survived the Hunger Games, everything else is smooth sailing, isn't it?" He knew it was a lie. He bet she knew it was a lie. A lie they told themselves over and over again, day in and day out. Achilles' eyes met hers. Maybe she could have kept the bravado up a little bit longer. Maybe. What little bravado she has dies when his eyes meets hers. She can’t hide behind that veneer simply because of what he says about the Games. They factor into damn near almost everything between them. “Can I just…” she gestures inside. “I just want to talk. Truthfully, for five minutes.” Achilles, unsure if something was wrong or what, stepped back and let her into the room. He closed the door behind her and folded his arms over his chest. "What is it?" he asked, brow creasing in worry. And he nodded, once, that yes they could talk. And yes, with her, he'd be honest. For once. Olympia slipped inside and let her shoulders relax a little. The frivolous present she puts on the counter and she leans against the wall. It takes a moment for her to sort through her emotions, through what she wants to know and ask and what she wants. What she finally asks is: “Why her? Why,” she indicates the room, the wedding wear, all of it. “All of this now?” Well, now that wasn't the question or the conversation that Achilles expected. Not that he had any expectations. Olympia did tend to surprise him time and again, and it looked like this was no different. He looked over at her. "What do you mean, why her and why now?" He rubbed the side of his neck for a moment. "Her because she's -- well, I mean, Despoina is --" What was she to him, after all? "Because she's apart from all of the Games stuff," he said. "And now because, why not?" What the hell kind of answer was that, Achilles asked himself. But he didn't re-answer or even consider it. Achilles had never been one for words really, but Olympia couldn't keep the look on her face rrom turning into a sharp frown at the answer. She may not even particularly feel near anything for his bride but that answer? Terrible. The second answer wasn't so bad, she had to concede, but she wasn't going to let him off, not yet. "She's what? Naive? Pretty? Smart?" Her head cocked, eyes narrowed at him. "Do you really even know or did you just want to marry her because she seemed like the right choice for a Victor?" He straightened and tensed, his shoulders back. "What are you implying, Olympia?" he asked. Though he really didn't want to think about why he was marrying Despoina. No, he knew why. It was because she was untouched by the Games. No family member, no friend, no one had been a tribute. She had been too young at the time to pay attention to his Games, or even Olympia's, who was his closest friend. She was outside of the Games and outside of that part of his life. He was keeping things separate. It was for the best: his time in the Capitol would be his, and when he returned to District One, she'd be waiting for him, no questions asked. "You don't actually want that girl because of her is what I'm implying," her stance goes just as tense. "You can't even name why you want to marry her besides the fact that she isn't apart of the Games. Because that's-- that's all you want, isn't it?" Her tone turned bitter in a way it hadn't been in a long time. "You want a girl who can't recall what you did, who's only there to make you feel like you're normal, one of them, some innocent. Is that right?" Her voice was climbing higher with every word. "What the hell for? Do you really think she'll ever understand you?" He wasn't sure he'd ever seen Olympia quite like this, and Achilles truly had no idea what to do with it. He was good (or mostly good) in a lot of situations, but an hysterical woman, he suspected, was one of them. He stepped back away from her and winced just from her tone of voice. "Who said anything about her understanding me? Why do I need her to understand me?" Achilles did his best to keep his own tone measured and calm, but her accusations irked him. He felt it in his blood as it surged under his skin. The wince Achilles gave, well. Olympia felt a bolt of satisfaction from that, even if his reply was infuriating. "Why do you need her to understand you? Why do you need her to understand you? Do you even know what marriage is?" Her breathing came in fast and it took a lot of strength to not throw something in frustration. "You are-- Achilles Held, you are a damn idiot, doing this. What do you expect her to do when she doesn't work and you remember the Arena? She damn sure won't stay up with you because she knows what it was like. How are you supposed to be with her and believe her when she never knew a thing about any of that?" She scoffed, waving to the side as if Despoina was there. "She'd probably just ask if that means you can't entertain Capitolite children anymore." Achilles' jaw tightened, and the back of his throat heated. He shook his head. "That's my point, Olympia. That's not what I need her for. That's not why I'm marrying her. I'm not marrying her to understand what I did or what happened or even understand the Games. I'm marrying her because I need something unrelated to the Games in my life!" He wanted someone who wouldn't ask too many questions, who wouldn't stay up with him, who wouldn't remind him every single day about the Games and about what happens every year when he went to the Capitol. "She doesn't need to know a thing about it because I know enough for the both of us." He had thought through this all very, very clearly. One life hefe, one life there. That was the only way to do it. Because if he had done it another way, like with Olympia, what would that accomplish? Neither of them would ever be able to get away from the Hunger Games. "I need something that isn't the arena in my life, Olympia. You understand that, don't you?" “I understand that!” Her voice snapped back at him. “I understand not having the arena in your life! I fucking get that, but this? Her?” She took a step closer, hands shaking out of pure anger now. “This is what you’re going to choose? You’re going to choose some idiotic wedding to a woman you can’t even speak positively about? You could have gotten a fucking dog if you wanted that, it’d have the same effect!” Shit, that was bad. She knew it the moment she said it. And then she promptly stopped giving a fuck. “You could have chosen a lot of things other than this, than her. That explanation-- that isn’t goddamn good enough.” It was his wedding day and he was getting yelled at, practically, by someone that he thought would be happy for him. He didn't know what it was that Olympia had against Despoina. Did she even know her at all? Had they ever spoken? He tried very hard not to say something he'd regret, tried very hard not to appear as tense and as angry as he really was right now. "What would you have had me do? Marry you?" Olympia looked momentarily as if she’d been slapped. She actually froze for a second, wondering if she’d misheard. And then realized that no, no she hadn’t. It wasn’t like it hadn’t been a thought, considering everything between them. It wasn’t perfect love, not by a long shot. Not in this reality, but she wasn’t an idiot. Achilles made her feel some measure of actually happy when he wasn’t making her frustrated or angry, like now. She’d already thrown away any semblance of restraint before and she tried to keep it up. Her arms folded defensively, the silence stretching for a long moment, her stomach sinking. “I’d be a hell of a sight better than her. We actually know each other. Or we did,” her voice lowered, her eyes pinned to the center of Achilles’ chest rather than his face now. “Or do we, anymore?” Well that took his breath away, though he tried not to show it. She was jealous. Olympia was actually jealous. They had -- before -- yes, Achilles cared for Olympia. Of course he did. But they were -- he couldn't even put into words. It hadn't even occurred to him before this moment what this meant for them. What it could mean or could have meant or anything. "Of course we do," he said, more sharply than he meant to. "I know you better than anyone." Her frown persisted, and she refused to look at his eyes. “Do you really? I think if you did, you’d--” she sucked in a breathe, struggling with the anger still coursing through her and the need to turn around, run, and find somewhere to scream until she was tired. “It doesn’t matter, not now. You’re marrying her, aren’t you? She’s the part of your life outside the arena that you wanted. I’m just your damn reminder.” He didn't know what else to say. He had been prepared to answer her before she cut herself off. Then she got hostile again. He shook his head and reached out to touch her arm. "Let me rephrase," he said. "You know me better than anyone. At least, I hoped you did," he added quietly, looking at her, directly at her. The touch to her arm had her curling up even more, shoulders going up. Defiantly, she moved her eyes away. Her throat felt like it was closing up, jaw ticking. “Maybe I don’t anymore.” She should pull away, but she stood stock still, head tilting downward. Even if that was a lie-- he could do this and she couldn’t. She couldn’t go and find someone on her own outside of the arena, not ever, not like this. Achilles almost apologized, but it caught somewhere in his throat and wouldn't come out and he had no idea why. Instead, he nodded and cleared his throat. Olympia turned away and took a deep breathe. One right after the other, until she could feel her throat open up again, and the heat go down in her face. If her eyes were wet, when she turned around, she opted to ignore it. Her tears were useless at this point, and wasted. “I’m not going to stay for the wedding, if that’s fine. Everyone else is here but I can’t.” She looked at him finally, clearling her throat. Achilles nodded. For a strange moment, he wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go but he didn't know where that came from, except for the fact that she looked on the verge of tears. Achilles was never good with crying. He resumed his usual stance, arms crossed over his chest. "I'll see you later," he finally said. Olympia nodded. "Whenever later will be for the both of us." If he had pulled her into his arms, if he'd reached out further? She would have fought or broken down or just let him. But he didn't. And she had her say. She left the present, turning away and leaving, footsteps fading. |