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Tweak says, ""Alas, I'm gone!" she cried."

winchester, dean (_waywardson) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2009-08-28 22:00:00

Entry tags:

!closed, dean winchester

Who; Dean & Jo
What; Working and probably being awkward
Where; The Barking Spider
When; After close
Rating; TBD

Dean had fallen into bar work easily, he wasn't a stranger himself to most drinks and had known how to make most of the basics without much help, the rest he picked up quickly. He had a knack for talking to the customers as he served the drinks about easy and meaningless things like cars and music and actually found he didn't mind the job. It was actually kind of nice, getting to shut off the part of him that was Dean Winchester the hunter with more baggage than anyone person should have to have and instead getting to be just Dean for a while.

The only awkward part was Jo. He couldn't help but feel like something had changed between them with her comment, even if she was bound and determined to shrug it off as some joke, and the resulting fallout. Had he known she hadn't known his offhand comment definitely would have been under a filter, but hindsight was 20/20. But she hadn't known and she'd found out over the internet of all things and now it just all felt weird. And for the life of him Dean didn't much know how to handle it. So he mostly spent his first night at the bar avoiding having to talk to her more than he had to and keeping an eye on her from his spot behind the bar, inwardly grimacing every time some jackass checked her out.

He tried not to think about Sam's comment, the not even asking, but stating that he liked Jo. It wasn't a question because it hadn't needed to be one. But it still didn't change anything. It couldn't change anything. He could be her friend, they could joke around and talk but he couldn't pull her into his life more than that, he wouldn't do that to her. She deserved better than the little he could give. He knew it was hypocritical of him. After all he expected Sam to somehow magically be excited about his kid with Lois, he somehow thought Sam capable of returning to a perfectly normal life. But Sam hadn't gone to Hell. Sam hadn't spent months torturing poor bastards and actually enjoying it. The way Dean saw it he wasn't much better than any demon. At least Sam had fallen with the best of intentions, Dean couldn't even claim that.

Except knowing that didn't help with the awkwardness, the weird space that now settled between them. He didn't know how to make it go back to the easy banter they'd had before. And as the other employees filtered out leaving just him and Jo to finish closing up it just seemed that much worse to him. So he focused on something he did know how to deal with, restocking the fridge with bottles of beer.

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reoandknives
2009-08-29 04:12 am UTC (link)

Jo's head was still aching dully, and the fact that the bar was empty and quiet didn't help as much as she originally thought it would. That was because the migraine had started when she found out that Dean had gone to Hell. Sam had died, Dean had sold his soul to get him back, and he'd gone to Hell. Why hadn't she known about that? Granted, she'd parted ways with the Winchester boys under pretty rough circumstances and hadn't been in the loop for a while now, but that was something she thought she would have found out about sooner, and definitely not through some accidentally-left-public internet conversation. Then again, why did she feel like she had the right to know what went on in Dean's life, anyway?

Work had helped distract her, even if Dean was working alongside her all night, but now things were calming down and it was just the two of them. They were going to have to interact at some point, but Jo put it off and went to wipe down the tables as Dean restocked the fridge. She tried to drag the task out as long as she could, but unfortunately, she got done a little too quickly, and then found herself standing in the middle of the bar rather awkwardly, a damp rag in her hand.

"We can probably just lock up when you're done and get outta here," she said, making her way back towards the bar to replace the cleaning supplies in their proper place underneath.

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_waywardson
2009-08-29 04:29 am UTC (link)

He had been so lost in the methodical task of restocking the fridge and trying to figure out what to say to Jo now that they were stuck in the bar alone that when she did talk it actually caused him to jump, the bottles clattering where his hand knocked into them. He turned to look at her and sort of smiled a little sheepishly. "Yeah, we can pretend that didn't happen right?"

He put the last few bottles into the fridge. He knew he should say something, he knew this was probably one of those things he had to talk about, that he couldn't just ignore. He shut the fridge and turned back to her as he leaned against the counter behind him. "Look, Jo," he started, "I'm sorry you had to find out like that." There, he both apologized and brought the issue up. That was good, right?

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reoandknives
2009-08-29 04:36 am UTC (link)

When Dean jumped, so did Jo, the sound of the bottles clattering causing her to even gasp a little. It had been so quiet and still, and she hadn't expected any noise to come from Dean, so it surprised her. She gave him a lopsided smile in response, but otherwise said nothing. She really couldn't think of anything to say.

And then he did something unexpected once again, bringing up a subject that Jo didn't think he would ever talk about again, let alone voluntarily do so. She frowned immediately, leaning up against the bar beside Dean and looking down at a scratch in the wood for the longest time.

"You don't really owe me an apology," she said, still staring downward. Her mind was screaming LIE over and over, but she just couldn't bring herself to act like an angry girlfriend who had just found out her boyfriend had spent time in Hell and never told her. That wasn't the case. He didn't owe her an apology, an explanation, nothing.

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_waywardson
2009-08-29 04:48 am UTC (link)

She said he didn't owe her it, but somehow he felt like he did. If they were all going to be living here he didn't want things to be bad between them. Dean didn't have many people in his life, and he liked Jo. She understood the kind of life him and Sam led and didn't think different of them for it. And even now, knowing where he had gone she was still there, sure it was a little weird and awkward but she wasn't running for the hills.

He shrugged a little. "I don't know, maybe I do, maybe I don't. But either way I am, sorry." He looked to her beside him and smirked a little. "Not that I'm entirely sure a better way for that conversation to play out," he admitted. Was there even one? He kind of doubted it.

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reoandknives
2009-08-29 05:03 am UTC (link)

It did mean a lot to Jo that Dean was actually apologizing to her. He didn't have to, but he was. And then he was giving her that nearly trademark smirk of his, and she felt herself melting almost immediately. She wasn't angry with him, but it still wasn't fair that he could just make her feel like not being so miserable so easily.

"There probably isn't," she said, shrugging her shoulders a little. She had so many questions, but none of them felt right to ask. Either way, they were talking about it now, and she didn't know if she would get another chance again. "Dean...what happened? I mean, I know you said Sam died, but...how? And then when you...went to Hell, how long were you there? How did you get out?" She might have been coming on a little strong, but her curiosity was killing her. And try as she might not to, she felt pity for him. The thought of him being in Hell...she didn't like it, not at all. It made her feel awful.

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_waywardson
2009-08-29 05:25 am UTC (link)

He listened to her questions and figured she really hadn't been talking much to anyone if there were that many blank spots. And the idea of it still hit him like it had when she had first admitted to it the night they'd both arrived. The idea of her having been out there for that long alone, he didn't like it.

Dean pushed himself off the counter and grabbed two of the beers he had just put into the fridge out and handed one to her. If anything said time to dip into your work's alcohol stash this was it. He settled back beside her leaning against the counter and took a long drink. "You do know you can just watch the show right?" he joked, still trying to figure out the best way to answer all her questions, how to walk a thin line between what he was okay with her knowing and what he couldn't fathom telling her.

"Sam... he kind of got stuck in this twisted demonic version of survivor and some Jake kid stabbed him in the back," Dean paused, his eyebrows creased together. Even now he hated thinking about that day. "Literally." He took another drink trying to push back the sight of Sammy like that. "I got a year."

He took another drink and looked to her. He was torn between wanting things out in the open between them and being terrified it would completely change everything. "Four months, I was there four months, but it was... time's different there," was all he said. "As for how I got out," he set his drink down and shrugged out of the button up he had over his t-shirt and turned so she could see the large handprint burned into his skin. "Touched by an angel," he joked, trying to make the whole thing seem more casual than it really was, as though it was entirely normal to be having a conversation about hell and angels.

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reoandknives
2009-08-29 05:38 am UTC (link)

She took the beer he'd handed her rather graciously, knowing that they both needed alcohol now more than ever. She really didn't care that two bottles were going missing from the inventory, unpaid for. It wasn't anything either of them would lose the job over.

Taking a long pull of beer, Jo shook her head, grimacing a little. "No, I can't. That's still way too weird."

As she listened to him, Jo could feel both her stomach and her heart twisting uncomfortably. She was hoping he would break out into a grin and tell her it was all just a joke, that he was only messing with her, but that never happened. It was all very real, and as much as she hated it sometimes, she cared about Dean, probably more than anyone else besides her own mother, and it hurt to hear him describe the things he'd gone through. It ended with him showing her the handprint that curved around his arm, and by that time, Jo's grip on the bottle of beer was so tight that her knuckles were white, and she had a lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow down.

"I don't...really know what to say, Dean," she replied quietly, shaking her head a little as she looked over at him. "That's..." She sighed deeply and took another drink, wanting to be as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. She wanted Dean to be as drunk as possible as quickly as possible.

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_waywardson
2009-08-29 05:48 am UTC (link)

Maybe it was selfish, dragging her into all of this. Hadn't that been his excuse for that whole year every time he'd had a few too many and thought of actually giving her that call he had promised. She was better off without him and everything that came along with it but here he was actually being honest (or at least honest-ish) about all the everythings that came with him. And while he regretted the obvious pain telling her had caused he didn't regret the telling. He wanted her to know, he needed someone else other than his brother in his life in this place to know. And more than that he wanted her to know that when he said he didn't date it wasn't her, not even by a long shot, it was all him.

He took another drink and shrugged a little. "That's fucked up," he finished for her. "It is, I'd probably be worried about you if you didn't think so."

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reoandknives
2009-08-29 05:57 am UTC (link)

Jo nodded without hesitation, taking another drink and reaching up with her free hand to push her hair back and out of her face. "It is," she replied. "It's fucked up."

Her curiosity had been satiated for the most part. She didn't want to ask him what it had been like. That was something she would rather not know, if only because it was Dean. If it was anyone else, maybe she would have wanted to know what went on down there, but not when it came to Dean. It hurt less not knowing. She supposed she could listen if the day ever came that he wanted to tell her about it, but to purposely ask? No, she couldn't bring herself to do that.

"It should've never happened," she said, seemingly out of nowhere after the short silence she'd fallen into. "To Sam, to you. That's the fucked up part." She knew that the last time she'd seen either of them, she'd been angry with them just because of something their father had supposedly done, let happen. To make this kind of turnaround was surprising, even for Jo, but it was yet another thing she wasn't going to try to overanalyze or think too much about. There was no sense in it.

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_waywardson
2009-08-29 06:10 am UTC (link)

He pulled the button up back on as she spoke and thought about what she said. That it never should have happened. Dean had never really thought about that. Sure he'd wished it hadn't happened, sure he'd been angry, but he'd never really put it in those words. He idly wondered what that said about him, if maybe deep down he thought he deserved the hand he had been given, if he really thought so little of himself that he could believe that.

He finished his beer in another long drink. "I guess," he finally said. "But uhm, we should maybe start talking about something else," he suggested. He felt tired, worn from his sudden desire to be honest and open and the things it brought up.

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reoandknives
2009-08-29 06:16 am UTC (link)

Running her tongue along her bottom lip, she nodded once more and finished off her own beer before placing the empty bottle back underneath the bar. It could be taken out to the trash tomorrow or something. She really wasn't in the proper mood to take a walk around back to the dumpster. She didn't think Dean was, either, so she took his bottle from him and discarded it along with her own.

"We could talk about something else," she said quietly, straightening up again. "But Dean? Um, thanks for telling me about all this. I know it can't be easy to talk about, so..." She shrugged. Words weren't her friend in situations like these, but she hoped Dean still knew what she was trying to say anyway.

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_waywardson
2009-08-29 04:31 pm UTC (link)

He offered her a smile, he knew what she was trying to say. "You're welcome Jo." It hadn't been the easiest conversation he'd ever had but it actually felt a little better now, at least she knew. She wasn't hanging out with him now thinking he was still the same guy who left her in Duluth.

He pushed himself off the counter dug his keys out of his pocket. "Wanna get out of here?" he asked,

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reoandknives
2009-08-29 04:49 pm UTC (link)

Jo sighed and looked around the bar. It looked pretty good, clean and all that, and she figured it was alright to leave now. And hell, even if it wasn't, she really just wanted to get out of there.

"Yeah, let's go," she replied, moving out from behind the counter. She moved to the front door, opened it, then motioned for Dean to head out so that she could properly lock it behind them. "Feel like a lady now?" she asked, unable to help the joke.

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	_waywardson 2009-08-29 05:09 pm UTC (link)
	He walked with her to the door and headed out when she opened the door for her. He turned to her as he walked out and gave her a fake pout. "Maybe if you bought me something nice once in a while I might," he joked back and waited for her to lock up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

reoandknives
2009-08-29 05:35 pm UTC (link)

Jo playfully rolled her eyes and shook her head as she locked the door and pulled it shut after they were both out of the bar. "Sorry, sorry," she replied, trying to sound sincere and not like she was on the verge of laughing. "Next time I'm out, I'll pick you up a nice dress, okay? Something slinky to show off your legs."

It wasn't really all that hard to pretend like the date thing had never happened, and it wasn't even that difficult to pretend the Hell conversation never happened, but the fact was, both of those things had happened. Jo had a feeling they couldn't just ignore it now, even though she kind of wished they could.

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_waywardson
2009-08-29 06:16 pm UTC (link)

"Damn right you'll get me a nice dress, I worked hard on these legs," he said and the shook his head. "And this conversation got weird really fast," he noted with a laugh.

Once everything was closed and locked up he walked with her to the Imapala, the lone car in the the now empty parking lot. He unlocked and opened the passenger door for her before heading around to get in behind the wheel. "Hey Jo, thanks again for helping with the job," he said and looked at her. "It's actually not as bad as I though it would be," he said. It was kind of pathetic he thought, he was thirty and this was the first real job he'd ever had.

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reoandknives
2009-08-29 06:41 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah, well, that's what happens when you talk about guys in dresses. Things get weird, Dean," she told him, sliding into the passenger seat as he went around and got in the other side.

Looking over at him, she gave a small smile and nodded. "Don't mention it. It's still a job, but it isn't that bad. You get used to the different things you have to do, the regulars that come in every night..." She shrugged. "But you did good."

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