As much as her son's presence had calmed and distracted her, it was impossible for Amanda to really explain how alone Sarek's absence left her feeling. She hadn't attempted it since she had arrived here, but now, as she searched for this bond in the back of her mind only to come up with a dull emptiness, it really and truly hit home how much she had lost. Death. Death was the only thing that could sever a bond like theirs. She had died. She had died. It was amazing that it had taken this long for it to really hit her.
It was understandable given that there had been no pain, no agony, nothing like one would expect from a death such a hers. She'd simply been reconfigured in an area that was not where she was supposed to end up. That was how she had been thinking of it. But instead, she was now starting to realize what had really happened. She had died.
And as strong a woman as she was, there was only so long she could bear this kind of realization, this kind of emptiness, without trying to stifle the pain in some way. Which was way she was now sitting at the other of the bar from Jim, gaze turned towards the wall, a half finished drink sitting in front of her. It had been years since she'd had liquor, decades even, since Vulcans didn't imbibe alcohol, and she was already starting to feel a little woozy. Unfortunately, it wasn't the same time of woozy that she'd had as a twenty-something. Right now, she just felt sick.