InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Walking on velvet green. "

Spock (meritsofemotion) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2009-08-02 10:49:00

Entry tags:

!closed

WHO: Amanda Grayson and Spock
WHAT: Spock attempts to ease his mother's heartache.
WHEN: Immediately following this.
WHERE: Apartment #208B
RATING: TBD (doubt it'll be too high)
STATUS: In Progress

If he were being truthful, Spock would have to admit that he was rather conflicted about his father's apparent return to their own reality. One on hand, he and Sarek had never exactly gotten along. Spock had spent the majority of his childhood feeling as though he didn't quite measure up to his father's standards and they had spent a fair number of years simply not speaking whatsoever following Spock's decision not to join the Vulcan Science Academy but rather venture into Starfleet. Despite their hardships however, Spock did love his father. He also knew how much his mother simply adored Sarek and it was mostly because of this that he felt the greatest upset at the man no longer being present within the city.

He had been examining the edge of the forest on the outskirts of one side of the city when he had received notification that he had a private message from his mother. Although he had confirmed another's earlier claims that the forest was, in fact, becoming larger, he had yet to determine the cause but immediately put his work on hold in order to check the message. It had taken little more than a few exchanges with Amanda before Spock had made the decision to stop his work for the day in order to attend to her. He doubted very much that the Captain would object were he to learn of the choice he'd made but, frankly, didn't particularly care one way or the other. His reaction nor his blasé attitude was very logical, of course, but when it came to his mother he wasn't always very Vulcan in his reactions and feelings.

Making his way to the Housing Complex, Spock finally pocketed his PDA as he entered the proper building. It was just a short climb up the flight of stairs to the second floor and then he was knocking lightly on the door where his mother was staying. His entire demeanor was still very in control and as Vulcanesque as the next, but his eyes shone with the concern that he felt in regards to the woman he had come to see.

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aproudmother
2009-08-05 01:32 am UTC (link)

Amanda had gone looking for Sarek earlier that morning. After entering his room and finding that he wasn't there, she had instead turned her attention to the surrounding areas, looking in all of the places that he would logically go. When she came up empty handed, Amanda had returned to the room hoping that he had as well only to realize that his name was no longer on the door. It was then and only then that it had actually hit her that he was gone. Here only a few weeks, and he was gone already. It was almost as though something or someone hideously cruel was teasing her with the life that she couldn't go back to.

She'd returned to her own apartment, shutting herself in her room and crying like she was a fourteen year old whimpering about unrequited love. There was nothing that she could do to change her situation. It was the one that she was rather unfortunately stuck with, and once everyone returned to where they belonged, she would either be left here or dead. Not very grand choices.

Spock and George, however, had proven to be comforts. And even Jim had deflected her grief with the sheer confusion that he had provoked (the dear boy was trying, she knew). So by the time that she opened the door, Amanda had managed a very light and relieved smile despite the redness in her eyes and the tears that still rimmed them.

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meritsofemotion
2009-08-05 04:52 am UTC (link)

Spock had known that his mother was upset. It hadn't taken very much insight to recognize that much simply through their conversation over the message board. However, knowing she was upset and visibly seeing such a fact with his own two eyes was very, very different.

For a moment, he could do little more than simply stare. Were he in the habit of displaying his own emotions openly he was all but certain there would have been a look that was a curious mixture of shock and dismay upon his face. As it was, his eyes merely widened ever so slightly and his brow furrowed a bit. Wordlessly he tipped his head in a greeting, not quite trusting his voice to speak just yet.

After a few seconds, at the most, his hands unclasped from behind his back to hang at his sides and he finally opened his mouth. The words that exited, a soft, "I am sorry he is gone, Mother," somewhat of a shock to him. That hadn't been what he'd meant to say. Not by a long shot.

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aproudmother
2009-08-05 05:09 am UTC (link)

One look at her son usually told Amanda all that she needed to know. He was a complex individual, brilliant and burdened with far too many expectations that he felt that he needed to fulfill. He was a Starfleet Officer, a Vulcan, a son of Sarek, but always to Amanda, he was nothing more than Spock and that was all he ever had to be. And right now, that was who she needed more than anything in this place. Despite knowing that perhaps it was the worst course of action that she could have taken in a public setting, Amanda stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her son's waist and leaning her head lightly against his chest.

When had he gotten so tall? It seemed as though the last time she had had the opportunity to hug him properly, her cheek had easily rested against the top of his head.

"You grew up too fast," Amanda said, knowing all too well that saying such a thing to a Vulcan was pointless. The statement was illogical as he had grown at the rate which his body and the natural order of time had deemed fit. There was no too slow or too fast within that. And yet, Amanda needed to say the words, felt it far too strongly to stay silent. "Far, far too fast."

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meritsofemotion
2009-08-09 04:47 am UTC (link)

The immediate, logical reply was for Spock to point out just how illogical of a comment his mother had made. He obviously couldn't help how fast he'd grown, and his mother clearly knew that fact. For her to mention such a thing was a clear indication of just how emotionally distraught she truly was. That was also the primary reason that Spock didn't point out the lack of logic in her words but instead brought his hands up to rest lightly against her back.

It was a far cry from the boy who pulled away from her fussing, and he knew the change was due to his relationship with Nyota. Displays of affection weren't equivalent to displays of weakness. She had taught him that and, while a part of him still found them somewhat unnecessary and mildly distasteful in a public setting, he also understood that for humans they were a necessity.

So rather than chastise his mother for her emotions or comment on her illogical statements, he instead ran his hands gently across her back and offered as much silent comfort as he could manage. He didn't speak. He wasn't sure what to say and could only hope - as illogical as hope might be - that the mere fact that he was willingly responding to a physical embrace would be enough until he could form words once again.

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aproudmother
2009-08-10 02:26 am UTC (link)

His reaction was a relief, a quiet spark of hope in the mess that this place was. She hadn't been pushed away or told that she was being illogical (which she was, she knew she was.), but he'd responded how she had needed him to, how she'd hoped for, and that... It meant more to her than she could manage to express. Choking back the fresh wave of tears that wanted to come, squeezing her eyes shut and letting them pool behind her eyelids, Amanda leaned into the embrace allowing herself to just be grateful that he was here and that she wasn't completely alone.

After a few silent moments, Amanda sighed, the tension slowly leaving her body as she opened her eyes, blinking to clear the tears from them that had gathered before leaning back and smiling up at her son, raising a hand to touch his cheek, "You're more than a mother could ever dream to hope for," She said gently, her eyes shining with a quiet pride despite the way that they were bloodshot. "Thank you."

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meritsofemotion
2009-08-11 01:52 pm UTC (link)

Spock's ears tinged green, ever so slightly, at the tips at her words. If he'd had any doubt as to the appropriate reaction to her embrace, he had none now. He'd made the right decision in simply staying silent and supportive despite how utterly illogical the act might have seemed. And while Spock did his best to remain logical at all times, sometimes - in instances such as this one, for example - doing the right thing was far more important than playing the role of the proper Vulcan.

He didn't speak at first, still uncertain about what to say. Instead he merely took opportunity of the fact that she'd moved back ever so slightly and continued the rest of the way into the apartment. When the door swung shut softly behind him, he felt what small amount of self-consciousness he'd been feeling disappear. A private setting, in a domicile, was a far cry from the doorway that led to corridor that was well traversed by others, after all.

"Are you certain you do not require anything?" The question was one born from worry, a desire to help her in some way that was tangible rather than floundering about in an emotional setting that he felt wholly ill-equipped to handle. He'd asked it before, and she'd already answered, but it was a 'safe' question in that it required very little acknowledgment of his own upset over the situation.

Simply put, if he was busy doing something for his mother, he didn't have to think about how very upset she was that his father was gone... or his own conflicted feelings on the subject.

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aproudmother
2009-08-11 05:40 pm UTC (link)

"I am fine, my son," Amanda said, knowing all too well the distaste that he and his father both felt for a description that was so difficult to quantify. But it was the only way that she could properly relate how she was feeling at the moment without having to go into extensive detail about the varying degrees and combinations of her emotions.

"Will you sit with me for awhile?" Amanda asked, peering over at her son as she continued into the living area. As much as she didn't wish to force him into conversation that made him uncomfortable, it had been a good while since they had properly talked, his stint as a child and her as her younger self aside. "Tell me, Spock. How are you fairing?" She asked, the question holding volumes more than the simple words betrayed. She had been acutely aware of his odd behavior the month before, and she was sure that being turned into a child and the arrival and subsequent disappearance of his father would not have helped whatever had caused him the original distress.

"And your friend, Nyota, is she well?" And those words. Those words held the knowing edge of a mother who, while attempting to seem innocent, knew exactly what territory she was traveling into.

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meritsofemotion
2009-08-16 04:52 pm UTC (link)

Of course he would sit with her. He had come here, had he not? Obviously he didn't require anything himself at the moment, so logically he was here to offer whatever support he possibly could during her time of need. Yet, Spock refrained from pointing out any of that. His mother had spent more time on Vulcan than he had, more time around Vulcans in general as well. So while she was certainly acting somewhat illogically, it would be even more illogical to point out things which she certainly already knew.

"I am fairing as well as to be expected," was his response to her question as he followed her fully into the living room. There was a slight furrowing of his brows at his answer. Not because of the falseness of his statement but rather because there was so much more to it than that. Yet parts of he he couldn't speak of. And parts of it he was avoiding even thinking about, if possible.

Fortunately, the next question served to put the previous one on indefinite hold. It also served to make him take pause. Literally. He went still, the very tips of his ears tinged light green as he easily recognized the tone his mother was using. He wanted to cut her off at the pass but knew it would ultimately be pointless. When Amanda Grayson decided to focus on a topic - particularly one that concerned him - she rarely backed down. And, he supposed, if it helped to ease her own heartache by discussing his... personal matters, he couldn't deny her the option.

"She is," he finally replied, tone careful and even. "She is... pleased, to have been returned to her adult form." As was he, of course, but he wasn't going to say as much out loud.

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aproudmother
2009-08-16 06:07 pm UTC (link)

"It has to make sharing the room less awkward," Amanda said, a teasing smile crossing her face since it was rather obvious that when she said the room, she meant the bed. It wasn't that she was aiming to embarrass her son, but she was his mother. And these sorts of things were what all mothers prodded their sons about. Even if she could practically hear Sarek's disapproving tone in the back of her head. As much as she loved her husband, it was in things like this that his logic made little to no sense. Protective of Spock when she was teasing him and yet not batting an eye when the other boys had been so much worse than she ever was. And had been aiming to harm him when she only even aimed to be affectionate and playful.

But still, she could hear her husband's voice in the back of her head, My wife, even in the privacy of your domicile, setting our son ill at ease purely for your own amusement is illogical.

To which she would simply reply that of course it was, and she wouldn't be doing it if it served any true purpose. He would have been exasperated, of course, not that he would admit it. But he would relent because he had learned years before that getting into a pointless argument with her was merely a waste of time and energy. It was illogical in and of itself.

Which was something she was sure that her son understood almost as well as his father.

"Have the two of you been occupying yourselves well?"

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