InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "who is Mumia?"

Damian Wayne (thebratwonder) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2012-09-02 23:49:00

Entry tags:

barbara gordon, damian wayne

WHO: Damian Wayne and Barbara Gordon
WHAT: Damian needs to talk to someone about his problems and Babs seems like the right person
WHEN: Sunday, September 2nd. Late Night
WHERE: The park
RATING: PG probably
STATUS: In Progress

For the last few weeks, Damian had been thinking about a lot of things. First there was Steph. He hadn't really talked to her since he'd told her about Enigma, which was partly because of all the shit that had been going on in Colligo since and partly because he'd realized, that if he wanted to salvage any kind of relationship with her then he had to start working on himself first. He'd realized he still had issues to work out back when him and Raven had, had their late night chat in the kitchen, but what had he really done about it since besides tell Steph what he'd realized? Nothing. Him and Jason had started working out their shit, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. He had so many unresolved issues with people who weren't in Colligo, issues that he had thought he'd worked out over the last eight years, that it was now creeping up again and making it difficult to have a type of relationships with anyone. He had come to the conclusion that he needed to talk to someone, but his trust issues made going to a local therapist out of the question and he definitively wasn't going to go talk to Quinn. So, that left him with very little options.

He could have gone to Raven, but he didn't want to continually bother her with his problems even if they had worked out their own problems. He trusted her, but he didn't think it was fair to her. So, in the end there was only one person that he could think of who he could trust and who was somewhat close to the situation and that was Barbara. She had known him back home and knew what it had been like when his father had "died". So, finally deciding that he was going to talk to her, he sent her a message before heading out for patrol, asking her to meet him in a secluded area of the park. He figured it was easier than asking her to meet him on a rooftop and it was an area of the park where he knew no one else would be around. As he finished up his patrol, he headed over to that area of the park, and perched himself on a tree branch as he waited for her to show up.

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usedtobe
2012-09-03 08:52 pm UTC (link)

Ever since her 'boyfriend' had been shipped off, Barbara had been trying to get back to normal. She was getting better at acting like the whole thing hadn't happened at all. Like it had just been some kind of dream, and she was better off not opening up to anyone. Especially here. It just wasn't for her. Eventually she went back to doing what she did best. Most of her time was spent on the computer, keeping an eye out for things, and on people. She sent Steph out on patrols, and sometimes she even joined her. Not that she wanted to be Batgirl anymore, but she wanted to be in good shape. She wanted to help, other than typing on a keyboard.

When she got the message from Damian, Barbara was slightly surprised. She knew that he and Stephanie were on the rocks, and she'd talked to Steph about it some. Though really, she should have checked on Damian to make sure that he was all right, she kind of figured that he'd tell her to go away. Now though it seemed like he actually wanted her help, and she was happy to give it, as much as she could. It wasn't like Babs was some pillar of excellent relationships, but she'd try and help.

Heading to the park, she kept her eyes open for him, but didn't quite see him until she glanced at her watch and then looked up into the tree. "Hi Damian."

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thebratwonder
2012-09-03 09:37 pm UTC (link)

Damian hadn't been up in the tree long before Barbara showed up. He would have jumped down from the tree, but she looked up and saw him before he got the chance so he simply smiled and waved before pushing off the branch and landing beside her on the ground, "Thanks for coming out to meet me." Considering he'd just been patrolling, Damian was dressed in his Nightwing costume, which was similar to the last one Dick had worn except where Dick's had been black and blue, Damian's was black and red. It wasn't until now, as he stood in front of Barbara that Damian realized that this might be a little awkward for her, seeing him dressed like this, considering her past with Dick. So in an attempt to make it a little less awkward, Damian reached up and removed his domino mask. There were very few people he did this in front of, even if they knew his identity, but he also figured that it would also probably be easier to talk if he wasn't wearing the mask. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

He was tempted to ask her if she'd seen Steph out on any of her cameras, but this wasn't about Stephanie. This was about him and his past back in Gotham.

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usedtobe
2012-09-04 06:04 am UTC (link)

Giving a smile back, Babs nodded. "Oh you're welcome. I'm glad to be out of the house. No, you weren't interrupting anything but me sitting around and watching Breaking Bad on Netflix and keeping an eye on things like usual." Really she hadn't been doing a damn thing. If she thought it was a little awkward, she didn't bat an eye at the costume. Okay, so it was a bit weird, but it wouldn't do anyone any good to bring it up. After all, Dick certainly wasn't here and she was pretty sure she wouldn't ever see him again. Not being here anyway. She was thankful that he removed the mask though, and it probably showed, just a bit.

"So what can I do for you?" They could sit around and chit chat, but she figured that Damian might just want to get right to the point.

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thebratwonder
2012-09-05 02:52 am UTC (link)

Damian sighed and ran a gauntleted hand through his hair as he glanced down at the ground a moment. Damian could run his mouth until the cows came home, but when it came down to actually talking about things like what he had called Barbara here for, he wasn't good at it at all. "So, I wanted to talk about me." He lifted his gaze to the redhead, "Not me, but a few things that I've realized recently. As you can tell, I'm not good at this." Sighing again, he leaned back against the tree he'd just been in and started over, "It's probably not a big secret that I'm a little messed up. Okay, really messed up. I've spent the last eight years trying to work things out and I thought I had, but it's come to my attention recently that I haven't at all." He needed to keep going otherwise he was going to start babbling.

"This whole thing with Steph has made me realize that if I want to salvage any sort of relationship with her, I need to work on those problems and the best way is to talk to someone, but one of those issues is my trust issues and there's no way in hell I'm going to go talk to Quinn even if she is a psychiatrist and I don't want to keep burdening Raven with my problems, plus there's things that she just doesn't know that, say someone like you would." He paused for a moment as he watched Barbara, "So, that's why I asked you to meet me here." He finally stopped talking after that and waited for the other woman to say something.

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usedtobe
2012-09-05 05:22 am UTC (link)

It was hardly as if she was going to tell him to hurry up, or be rude about the situation. "It's okay, take your time. I'm not going anywhere," she assured him. Even if it took him a while to figure out what he wanted to say, that was probably better than just not thinking about it at all. Though honestly, she wasn't any better at talking about her feelings. Listening and giving advice? Yes, Barbara could absolutely do that. Everything else, she was a mess about. She nodded a little. "Everyone's messed up, Damian. Especially anyone who lived in Gotham. But go on.."

From then on, she didn't say anything until he was done talking. She knew when to shut up and actually listen. When he was done, Barbara hm'd a bit. "Okay.. well, we can talk and I'll tell you what I think and help you. I mean I'm not a shrink of course. I can't give you some kind of scientific stuff obviously, but I can listen and tell you what I think. Help however I can." She wasn't all that confident that she could help, but she would totally try.

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thebratwonder
2012-09-05 05:42 am UTC (link)

Damian knew that there was a chance that talking to Barbara might not fix anything, but she was somewhat close to the situation and if he couldn't talk to Steph about this stuff right now then she was the best candidate, "Thanks. I know this is probably the last thing you would have expected from me, but there's very few people that I actually trust to talk about this stuff with," He crossed his arms over his chest as he thought over what to say next, considering he had a tendency to speak without actually thinking first and he actually wanted all of this to make sense, "I've done a lot of thinking over the last few weeks and Steph is right about one thing. I get jealous way too easily and I think it has something to do with my dad and Drake." He knew that the main reason he'd always been so awful to Tim was because of the relationship that the former Robin had with Bruce. A relationship that Damian had never gotten a chance to have, "Does that make sense?"

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usedtobe
2012-09-05 08:41 pm UTC (link)

"I might be a little surprised, but I get it too. And obviously I'd never say anything to anyone." That just wasn't the kind of person that Barbara was. She didn't go telling people, even if she wasn't a shrink and didn't have some kind of oath. She listened, and nodded her head. "That makes sense. Those kinds of things I think transfer onto other people, even if you really don't mean for them to." Goodness knows that not ever guy was a jerk, but in general once you had your heart broken, it was tough to see people as anything else. "Do you feel like you're taking it out on her?"

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thebratwonder
2012-09-05 09:38 pm UTC (link)

Damian thought for a few moments before shrugging his shoulders slightly, "Honestly, I don't know. It just seems like when someone, anyone, implies anything even resembling flirting and I just automatically go into jealous boyfriend mode. And the thing is, I know that it's just joking around, but I can't help it. All I know, is that whenever my dad would say anything remotely resembling praise towards Drake, I'd react and automatically have to pick a fight with him. And the fact that Drake isn't here and I can't even try to work on whatever it is that was between us....well it doesn't help. I feel like I have all these loose ends and they're just making it so hard to act normal." He slumped back against the tree he was already leaning on, appearing defeated. "It's no secret that I've had a pretty craptastic life and I've had very few good things actually happen to me. Steph was one of those things and I just don't want to wind up being blocked out of her life completely because I made a mistake." Now that Damian had begun talking, he found it a little easier to open up, much like when he'd talked to Raven and Jason.

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usedtobe
2012-09-06 06:38 pm UTC (link)

Rubbing the back of her neck, Barbara didn't say anything for a moment. "I don't have to tell you about how your father acts. And you're right, not having Drake here to try and work through it, or Bruce for that matter makes it difficult. It sounds like to me.. and this is just my random opinion.. that because of the things with Drake, you just don't want people to take.. what's yours. Which is a natural response to things, except that people aren't objects. Only time and space is going to make Steph open up to you again. That and you showing her that you won't do those things anymore. And I could say that what you really need to do is try and curb the impulse and try not to act on it, but it sounds more like you have to get at the problem deeper than that."

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thebratwonder
2012-09-06 10:27 pm UTC (link)

Damian couldn't hide the small smirk that crossed his lips as Barbara called Tim by his last name like he'd always done. He really was the only one who ever did that, but hearing someone else do it was actually pretty amusing. As he listened to what she said, he let it all sink in and in the end, he nodded. "It makes sense. I mean, until I was ten all I'd ever heard were stories about my father. Then I actually met him and before I even got to know him he was gone. All I had wanted was for him to accept me, but I just wound up doing the exact opposite because I tried too hard and didn't want to listen to anyone else." If there was one thing that Damian did know, it was that he had been a nightmare when he was younger and it was because of Dick that he had begun to change at all. Dick had believed in him and taken him under his wing and the fact that, that had pissed off Tim had thrilled Damian. He knew it was wrong, but back then, he couldn't help it. "I've tried yoga and meditating to try and curb the impulse to lash out at others, but I don't know what to do besides that. That's why I decided to try and work on these problems before I try to talk to her, but it's been so hard. I see her at the mansion and I just want to say everything that's in my head, but I doubt she'd listen. I tried to make Erik feel better about what happened with the Fear Toxin and she thought I was trying to make it about me, which wasn't my intention. I just don't want to say the wrong thing when she finally does decide to listen to me."

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usedtobe
2012-09-07 05:13 am UTC (link)

It probably didn't help that Bruce wasn't exactly giving with his emotions. She didn't have any idea what having Bruce for a father must be like. Of course, she'd been really lucky, because for the majority of the time, Jim Gordon was the best father in the world. Babs had gotten really lucky. Though no parent was perfect. "Does the yoga and the meditation work?" she asked curiously. She understood anger, deep down to the core of her body. That whole thing about lashing out? She did it a lot when she was first paralyzed. "Maybe you should try to write it all down in a letter. At least then, you can keep re-writing it until you get it all out and you've explained everything the way you want to explain it. You don't even necessarily have to give it to her at first. It might just help to get it all out. I talk to myself all the time out loud, so I can hear myself. Trying to calm down is hard, I know."

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thebratwonder
2012-09-11 02:52 am UTC (link)

Well that actually sounded like a good idea. He knew he was horrible with words, so writing it all down until it was perfect sounded pretty perfect for him, "That's actually a good idea. It might actually help." As much as he trusted Barbara, he hadn't been so sure at first when he'd decided to talk to her, but now he was sure that he'd made the right decision. "Then I just have to work on the anger and jealousy issues." He was still trying to figure out exactly how to go about working on those issues, but getting to the root of his problems had been the first step.

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usedtobe
2012-09-11 05:22 am UTC (link)

Babs looked a little pleased that she'd managed to come up with something that might actually help. "It usually works for me. When I'm not talking to myself in the Batcave." No it wasn't the actual Batcave, it was just called that because she couldn't think of a better word for her headquarters. "The anger issues are harder to work through. You have to channel the anger and work through it. Otherwise it just turns inward and.. well I don't have to tell you." People generally didn't think of Barbara being angry, but that's all that she had before. "If you can use it for good, that's even better. I was so angry when I was in the chair, but I used it to help me get over what happened."

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